Chapter 22

Handling the Truth About Love

Lisa Cuddy was having a crappy week and was looking forward to spending the weekend with Rachel at her sister's house. Looking up, she saw Finley Doyle making her way into her office. One thing she was happy about was her decision to bring Finley on board. The cardiac department was not only bringing in money hand over fists, but the reputation of the entire hospital had improved greatly because of Finley's overhaul of the cardio-pulmonary surgical department. Lisa had plans to open a new wing dedicated to cardiology with Finley spearheading it.

"Lisa, how are you?" Finley asked as she approached Cuddy's desk.

"Fine. What's up?"

"I'm giving you notice that I'm not going to renew my contract."

Cuddy's chin dropped in defeat. "Oh, God, no. Please don't tell me that. I've been planning my entire budget for the next five years based on you and your department expanding. We' re very happy with your work." Finley wouldn't look her in the eye. "What's wrong?"

"I just miss my friends and family."

"But …Susan is here."

"Susan is with House. You know House, he monopolizes her life. I'm squeezed in at the last moment."

"I thought you and House were getting along? I heard you were exercising together."

"I was just helping out for a couple of weeks, motivating him to do some exercise for his heart. They purchased some fitness equipment and now he does it at home."

"Please reconsider.. . think about it."

"I have, a lot. I really am sorry; you've all been very good to me. Oh, and could you please not tell anyone yet? You'll need to bring on another surgeon, but I'd like to do it quietly, if possible."

"You don't want Susan to know?"

She snickered. "No, I don't want House to know. He'll make my life miserable, teasing and goading me. I just want to fly under the radar as long as possible. I'll tell Susan when it's necessary."

They spoke for a few minutes and then she left. Lisa picked up the phone and consulted with the board, including James Wilson.

"I don't believe it." Wilson moaned.

"Believe it."

"So she doesn't want Susan or House to know? How long does she have left on her contract?"

"Six weeks."

"Where's she going?"

"I didn't ask."

That evening Finley was hard at work doing an emergency bypass operation on a local news anchor with a handful of people in the gallery watching. Several whispered back and forth that she was very talented, brilliant at what she did. House, sitting behind everyone, chewed his bubblegum and watched, secretly agreeing with the whispering crowd. She made it a habit to never looked up at the gallery. He knew this because he frequently stopped by when he knew she was operating. Watching her in action, her small fingers making big changes in lives, was one of his favorite forms of entertainment. But, she never looked up; never saw that she had a fan, someone who frequently checked the boards to find out when she was operating and then planned his day around her schedule.

When Finley left the operating arena, she went to the doctor's lounge and took a shower to clean the blood and fluids off her body, including her own sweat. It had been touch and go, but she had saved the man's life. As she washed her body, she thought about everything she needed to do and top of the list was to find a new job, in California.

After dressing, she was surprised to find James Wilson waiting for her in the lounge, standing up when she walked into the room. It quickly hit her, he was on the Board of Directors; he was here to talk to her about the move.

"James, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you about your announcement this morning."

"What do you need to know?"

"How we can get you to stay?"

She smiled and shook her head. "This isn't about money or about my career. I'm just not happy here in Princeton."

"I thought Susan was your best friend and you moved here to be near her?"

"She is, but she's always occupied. Besides, I just need to get back to the west coast. I'm more comfortable there."

"We had so many plans for your department. We were going to bring you in next week to show you what we were going to do. The whole plan revolved around you and your talent."

"James, I'm really sorry. It's too hard being here."

He grimaced and nodded as if he understood, but she knew he didn't. They stood for a few seconds and then Wilson broke their silence. "If you ever want to come back, I'm sure we'll find a place for you."

"Thank you, I appreciate that. Please don't tell Susan or House."

"House will find out sooner or later, he just does."

"Maybe, but I'll take that risk."

Surprisingly, the weeks went by swiftly. UCLA was more than happy to get Finley back on their surgical team and Finley agreed to a six month contract with the hopes that at the end of it she might move to San Diego or San Francisco, away from both her ex and House.

The Board had been more invested in keeping her departure quiet than Finley was, so the paperwork was handled personally by the head of H.R. and Lisa Cuddy. No one else besides the members of the Board knew that they were losing their star.

Finley contacted a realtor and was advised to rent until the market improved for sellers. So the realtor arranged for their property management branch to handle the rental. The only caveat was that it would not be advertised until after she left.

It was the end of May and Susan had carved out an evening for the two friends to go out. Apparently, Wilson and House were off to New York for a film festival and planned to return Sunday night, leaving Susan with the night free.

Susan could tell something wasn't right. Finley was trying too hard. She was hanging on Susan's every word, laughing a little too hard and playing with her food at dinner. "Christ, will you just tell me?" Susan finally blurted out.

"I want to, but I know you're going to be hurt."

Susan felt a chill go down her spine. Putting her fork down she took a swig of wine and then stared somberly at Finley. "Your contract is up for renewal and you're not going to renew."

Finley wasn't surprised that she figured it out. Susan was pretty savy. Finley nodded.

Susan slammed her hands down on the table causing everyone to turn and look at them. "When? When are you leaving?"

"The movers are coming on Monday. I fly out on Tuesday. My last day at the hospital was yesterday"

The reaction was immediate; with her lip sticking out so far you could land a plane on it; Susan stood up and walked out leaving Finley to pay the bill and try to find a ride home. After arranging for a cab, she slipped the cabbie his fare and tip, then looked up. The penthouse lights were on in her bedroom. Finley debated whether she should go up and try to make amends, but wasn't sure she should do it right then. Susan often needed to sleep on things before she could be rational so Finley went upstairs and spent the rest of the night packing the last of her things.

In the morning, Finley went out and bought Susan a chocolate éclair and coffee. Knocking on her door, there was no answer. Finley took out her cell phone and dialed. Susan picked up.

"What do you want?"

"I come bearing coffee and éclair, please let me in to explain."

"No. You're no longer my best friend. Go away!" Her voice was whiny like a little girl's.

"Susan, please let me in. I can't eat two éclairs and you know I'm not a fan of coffee."

It took a few minutes but the door unlocked and opened. A hand reached out, grabbed the coffee and then the éclair and then shut again. Finley shook her head and knocked again.

"Susan, please let me in to explain."

"No. I don't care anymore."

"You do care and so do I. So let me inside so I can tell you why I have to leave."

There was no sound, no movement, so Finley went downstairs to her loft and ate her éclair. After taking a long walk in the sun, Finley went to the movies and then returned to find Susan on her sofa crying.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. But, if you had known I was leaving you would have been on my back the whole time, trying to change my mind."

"But I thought we were friends?"

"We are the best of friends." Finley wanted to tell her that it was because they were friends she needed to leave. Falling for your best friend's boyfriend was hard to deal with when she saw them every day. She needed to get away. "I just need to get away."

"Get away? From what?"

Finley put on her best poker face and lied. "I fell for a married man and I need to leave. I won't be able to get over him if I stay here."

"A married man? You kept this from me?"

"I was ashamed. Not very ethical to be in love with someone who's married. But, he's not to blame, sure there was some flirting, but we never had sex."

"You never had sex with him and you're still running back to California?"

"I'm in love with him and I don't want to be a home wrecker. Well, that's not really accurate, he doesn't feel the same way as I do. I couldn't wreck a home since he has no idea how deeply I care about him. To him it was a little flirting, nothing more. It was me who fell off the cliff."

"Who is it?"

"I'm so ashamed. It's no one that you know. He rows down at the lake. That's how we met. We rowed together and then had breakfast which is why you didn't meet him. "

"Oh, Fin. I'm sorry. I haven't been a good friend. I don't know why we don't spend more time together. It seems whenever I have free time, you're in surgery and then on the weekends, Greg and I do things and you don't want to be near him. Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've been having problems too. I had a brief fling in Europe with Stewart Willingham; he's a friend of my family. We ran into each other at the conference and then he went with me to ski…I feel so guilty."

Finley froze, not really knowing what to say. "Do you love him?"

"He's married too. I think I could fall in love with him. He said he was in love with me. It scared me so much I flew home a few days early."

"But what about Greg?"

"I care about him too. Oh, don't look at me that way. One of the reasons I didn't want to see you was because I knew you'd disapprove." She picked at a thread on her clam diggers.

"I don't disapprove. I just worry about you and Greg. You both seem happy together."

There was a brief look, as if she disagreed, but then Susan nodded. "I do love Greg, but I still don't know if this is forever after. I just know that I did miss him and I wouldn't have felt so guilty if I didn't care for him, would I?"

"Only you can answer that."

There was a deep pause and sigh from Susan. "Why didn't we talk about this sooner?"

"I don't know."

"Tell me about your plans."

"I'm renting out the loft because resales are still low. I have my old job back at UCLA for the next six months with an option to sign on for another year if I want to. But, I was thinking about trying San Diego or San Francisco. I might even look into going overseas. I don't have anyone holding me back and now may be the time to do some volunteer work."

"I really want you to stay. Were they upset when you gave notice?"

Finley nodded vigorously. "I gathered they had planned their whole financial future around a new Cardiac department. Susan, please don't tell Greg that I'm leaving. He'll find out when the movers come, but I just don't want to hear any of his crap tonight."

"He won't care. I thought you two had mended fences when I was gone, but he goes out of his way to avoid you. Whenever I suggest us inviting you over or going out together, he makes a big stink about it."

Finley shrugged. "I don't know what I did. I thought we had put our differences behind us too."

"Don't worry, I won't tell him."

They sat and talked for another couple of hours and then Susan received a call. "That was Greg. They just reached Princeton and he wanted to know if I wanted something from MacDonalds."

"He better have ordered the salad." Finley said, cursing House under her breath.

"I better get going. Why don't you stay with us Monday night?"

"With you and Greg? Are you joking? Besides, I arranged for Salvation Army to pick up my mattress on Tuesday morning before I leave. It's old and I don't want to lug it across the country again. I was just going to crash on it."

"It's one night with us; it's not going to hurt anyone. Then I can say goodbye properly."

Finley didn't really want to spend the night with them, but Susan seemed desperate to say goodbye. "Okay."

"Finley, promise me you'll come back and see me?"

"Of course and you'll come see me."

They hugged each other and then Susan left to welcome House home.