Chapter 23

Goodbyes

The movers arrived Monday morning at seven-thirty and by eleven they were loading the last pieces. Besides the mattress, I kept back my fluffy duvet and a pillow, which I planned to carry in my car just in case I needed to stop and take a nap somewhere along the road. When the last box left the loft, I turned to the foreman and began the task of signing his papers. I heard gruff voices down the hall and some shuffling. The foreman and I turned to see Greg push one of the movers to the side as he burst through the door, his face a mixture of anger and anxiety. I handed the clipboard to the mover and we exchanged telephone numbers before he left. I turned my attention to Greg who was now standing a foot away, staring down at me in the hallway.

"Greg? What's wrong?"

"You're moving? You didn't tell me?" He was yelling like a madman.

"I didn't think I had to…we don't talk, we don't even pass each other in hallways anymore."

It happened so swiftly I didn't realize what he was doing. His body crashed against me, pinning me to the wall, his mouth covering mine with those wide, soft lips of his, his beard rough again my chin. My head bounced off the wall and I had trouble getting my bearings until I felt his warm tongue slowly slip into my mouth, gently touching my tongue as his lips, slightly parted, caressed mine in a kiss. It was everything I had dreamed of—passion, warmth, urgency. I didn't have time to think (which was a good thing); I could only react.

His hands crawled, palms flat, up the bare skin of my arms pinning my wrists above me. He loosened his grip as he brought one hand down slowly along the inside of my arm until he reached my breasts. I brought my arms down around his neck to continue our kissing, running one hand slowly back and forth against the nape of his neck.

There were no words, only touching. I reached up and started to unbutton his shirt. After getting it half way undone he didn't wait; he pulled it and the t-shirt over his head in one fell swoop, throwing it on the marble floor. It was the first time we had a chance to actually look at each other; when we did there was so much unsaid between us that it almost hurt. We were both breathing heavily, the gray curly hair on his chest heaving up and down as his eyes, focused on mine, darted back and forth, searching mine for encouragement. This was the moment when I should have stopped it. I should have pushed him away, but I didn't. My t-shirt came off, exposing my gray, wireless bra and heaving breasts.

"The door—you didn't close it." I managed to eek out.

He looked over his shoulder and stepped back, grabbing his cane he slammed the door without actually going over to it. Turning back to me, he leaned the cane against the wall and began to touch my skin as he kissed my neck, his breath tickling me. His long, graceful hand covered my breast, fondling me through the jersey material of my bra. I heard a soft moan from his lips which had the effect of melting me into a puddle of erotic desire.

"God, you feel good." He whispered into my neck.

"You do too." I reached down and rubbed the bulge in his jeans.

"Whoa…not yet." He said, pulling his groin away from my touch. "I'm like a bottle of champagne, too much pressure and I'm going to blow my cork." He continued to kiss me as his eyes searched from side to side. "Christ don't you have any furniture left?"

"A mattress."

"Ah, thank God." He pushed and pulled me, rotating me down the hall as he continued to give me his deep, open mouthed kisses. At the doorway, I kicked the door open and we fell through, stumbling into the bedroom and landing squarely on the mattress. He rolled over, his thigh sliding over my groin. I turned to take him into my arms and for a moment our eyes locked. In the heat of it all, I didn't have a chance to catch my breath, to look at him, take in the depth of what was happening.

"I need you to roll towards me if I'm ever going to unsnatch that bra."

"Unsnatch? Don't you mean unlatch? No. It needs to come up over my head, it's got no 'snatch'."

"God, I hope you do."

I giggled, "Yes, I have a snatch. Would you like to see it?"

"Oh, yes, please!"

"Later." I pulled my bra up and over my breasts and waited to see if I was going to have a positive reaction or not. He looked down at them with curiosity at first, his fingers coming up to touch them with a delicacy usually saved for touching a newborn. He cupped one and brought his mouth down over it, his tongue tickling the tip of my nipple and then circling it. I felt it harden in his mouth as his tongue, warm and wet glided over my nipple in several long, lavish strokes until he gave into temptation and began to suck. It felt so good, so decadent, so erotic; I immediately remembered Susan's complimentary words about Greg's prowess in bed. I had a feeling she was right.

I started to play with his button until I felt it give in my hand. He patiently concentrated on my mouth as I pulled the zipper and slipped my hand into his pants, tentatively touching what I knew was a very stiff erection just waiting to escape the confines of his boxers. I wrapped my fingers around his thick shaft and started to run my hand slowly up and down. It seemed strange to be lying on a mattress in this abandoned room, blinds down three quarters of the way, only a sliver of light coming through the window.

"I'm going to take off my pants, why don't you do the same?" He suggested.

I didn't answer, instead I let go of his erection and undid the string pulling down my pants and pushing them off with my feet. He managed to remove his at the same time along with his boxers whereas my panties remained firmly over my pubic bones.

"Something you're hiding?" He asked looking at my gray jersey panties.

I grinned. "No, I just didn't know if we were going the full Monty just yet."

He rolled his eyes and pushed my shoulder down to the bed as he slid his mouth down over my breast and to my hipbone where he gave me several kisses, the roughness of the short upper part of his beard juxtaposing with the softness of his lips. I put my hand on top of his head as he continued down until his nose was lost in the wisps of my pubic hair. His tongue skillfully split my cleft and found the little nub underneath it. If it had been anyone else, I would have been self-conscious, wondering if I tasted okay, smelled all right. But, the skill with which his tongue played and teased my clit was so brilliant; all I could do was wiggle and moan.

"Oh, oh,oh!"

He stopped and looked up at me. "Am I hurting you?"

"Oh, good God no! I'm just having a hard time."

"Hard time coming?"

"No, a hard time not coming."

He burst out laughing. "I'm down here wiggling my tongue in my best Johnny Holmes manner and you're trying not to come. Why?"

"Because I'd like to come while you're inside me." I said, my breathing irregular, but my voice soft and anxious.

He put his face back down, started licking like mad in a rhythm that sent sexual tension through my entire body. Every ounce of blood felt like it was rushing to the spot where his tongue was teasing me. I couldn't hold back, my arms flung out like a cross, I tried to grab the mattress to keep from grabbing his head, but there was nothing to hold onto so I started thrashing and moaning, screaming out his name as the waves of the orgasm started to push into my groin and then back up into my breasts.

"Oh damn! Greg! Greg!"

When the orgasm started to slow, he pushed up from between my legs and guided himself so that his shiny erection rested just at my entrance. He smiled down at me as his hand pushed aside my labia and he slipped into me, filling me up. His whole body rippled as he began pushing up into me, my legs wrapping around his waist, tilting up to meet his thrusts. He reached around my shoulders, holding me to him as his hips danced up and down, his thick member rubbing inside.

It was marvelous the way he smelled, the way he moved. I don't know if it was because I had wanted this for so long or if he was just that good, but I could feel the waves coming again, the congestion in my groin as his body joined with mine. I grabbed around him, holding on, unable to control the pleasure shooting through my body with each of his deep thrusts, our shallow moans and my contracting muscles.

"Oh fuck, I'm coming; I'm coming!" I shouted; a scream of ecstasy escaping as my muscles clamped onto him.

I barely heard his cry of, "Damn, you're tight. Oh, oh. He lifted up, eyes clenched shut, mouth opened wide, body shining from a light sheen of sweat. I could feel him buck several times; shallow thrusts that delivered his semen deep inside of me.

"No more, no more, no more." I cried, completely spent and unable to take any more, my entire body sensitive to any touch.

He pulled out and rolled onto his side, pulling me into his chest, his hand sliding down my back to my ass, tickling my body as he did. I did the same, touching his body, cupping the cheeks of his ass in my hand as we both tried to catch our breath.

"Okay, am I nuts or was that some of the best sex ever?" He said in a serious tone.

I wasn't lying when I told him, "It was the best I ever had. Coming twice so quickly together was incredible. I don't know how you did it."

He chuckled. "I don't know either! I'd like to tell you I do it all the time, but usually I manage to elicit one good orgasm per booty call out of my partner."

We suddenly stopped talking. The word partner brought up images of Susan in both of our heads.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

"I don't know. I asked where you were and Cuddy told me you hadn't renewed your contract. I called Susan and she told me that you were leaving, that you were packing as we spoke. Next thing I know, I'm rushing over on my motorcycle. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't think it mattered to you. You've done just about everything under the sun to avoid me, pawn me off on other men, be cruel to me."

His brow was wrinkled up he stared intently into my eyes, shaking his head. "Don't you get it?" He took a deep breath. "I've been trying like hell to control these feelings, to keep from hurting a lot of people I care about."

"Susan."

"Of course, Susan. But you too. I know how guilty you're going to feel about this and I didn't want you to go through that."

I pulled away and turned my body to free myself from his touch. He was right; my guilt was already starting to overwhelm me.

"Don't do this. Don't pull away; don't beat yourself up."

"Oh Greg, she just told me yesterday that she loves you and here I am screwing her boyfriend."

"No, her boyfriend is screwing you. You didn't ask for this."

"You didn't force me. One word and you would have stopped."

"Don't."

I looked over at him.

He moved closer, cuddling me up into his arms. "Don't leave me. Don't go. Stay here, stay with me."

I closed my eyes, letting myself have the luxury of absorbing those words, knowing in a moment I would say 'no' and whatever this was, whatever little happiness I had been given, would be gone. When I opened them, he waited quietly for my response. I think he already knew it.

"I can't. Everything is already in motion. Contracts have been signed. Tickets purchased, houses rented. More importantly, you're still my best friend's live-in boyfriend. That hasn't changed."

"I don't want to play this charade anymore. I don't want to pretend that you aren't beautiful, that you're gum under my shoe, that you mean so little to me that I don't even want you to have dinner with us."

"Then why have you? And why did you try to set me up?"

He rubbed my face and kissed me softly. "That was a mistake. As soon as I saw you sitting in that café across from him, it made me sick to my stomach. I watched you put your hair behind your ear, arch your shoulders forward, smile and make eye contact. You were attracted to him. And then when I saw you laugh at pretty-boy's jokes, it reminded me of when Susan was gone and you'd laugh at mine. So I went in for the kill."

"How did you know he didn't want children?"

"He had on one of those rope bracelets that teenage girls buy and give to people they love. Obviously his daughter gave it to him which means he has kids and at forty, guys don't want more kids when they already have teens…it's just the rule. Teens kinda blow away any idea that you might like more kids…for guys that is."

His hands didn't stop running up and down my body as if I was Braille and he was reading me. It felt so delicious, so calming. He combed his fingers through my hair and then pulled me in for a kiss. I felt every emotion in the book, but mostly I felt a deep longing . I had longed for the day to be over and now I didn't want it to end.

"Stay with me." He said holding me in his warm arms.

We kissed and talked and then made love again. Every once in awhile he begged me to stay with him. He promised me money to break the contracts, promised he would support me, promised we would work it out.

"I'm not staying. I'm not going to be the one to break my best friend's heart. This will be all we have; this afternoon has answered so many crazy questions. This afternoon will have to get me through the rest of my life." I said, still clinging to his body, my hand placed softly over his heart.

"I want the rest of my life to get me through the rest of my life. I want you."

I didn't mean to, but tears welled up. "You need to honor me by going back to Susan."

"Honor you? You make it sound like you have cancer and you're dying."

"Greg, please. You know what I'm saying . I know you care about Susan or you would have left her; you would have been with me ages ago. I can't be with you as long Susan is in love with you. So go back and be happy, make her happy. I know you can be happy together."

"And how do you know this?"

"Because up until now, you were happy."

"No I wasn't. I was comfortable, I was content, but I wouldn't call me happy."

"I don't understand. You two were always together…"

"You don't get it. I couldn't be near you. Every time I got within ten feet of you, everything in me malfunctioned. I had a hard time concentrating; I started dreaming of you. God the sex dreams were hot--almost as hot as sex with you in the real world." He grabbed the cheek of my ass to emphasize his lust for my body.

"I don't understand why you had to be mean?"

"It was a way to distance myself from what I was feeling. I can't do it any longer. I want you."

"I can't screw up our friendship." I said it firmly, with a finality.

Turning on his back, he was silent, still running his hand up and down my shoulder as I sprawled across his body like a vine, my thigh over his penis, my arm draped over his chest, hand on his shoulder. I felt like my body was melding into his and before the afternoon was done, we would be one. It finally dawned on me that we only had a couple of hours, maybe less before all of this would be gone. He'd go back to Susan and I would start a new life. But at least I'd have this one afternoon in his arms.

I could hear his heart beating, the sound of his lungs filling with air. I said a prayer, asking God to help me survive the coming months…to make it easier on me than I knew it would be. We couldn't keep our hands still, I drew on his chest, his hand continued to stroke my back as we talked about life, love and what drew us together. Our conclusion was that we were alike in many ways-- intelligent, talented, loyal, frank and deep inside just waiting to love and be loved. There were a couple of times where he made me laugh at his jokes, his witty comments about his life, the way he made fun of me. Holding him was like a religious experience. There was something spiritual in our coupling, the feeling that this was where we belonged. We both could feel the afternoon drawing in and so we made love one more time.

It was slow and sensual with both of us looking deep into the other's eyes as we joined together. There was no urgency like the first time, only a desire to savor the feel and warmth of the other's body. When it was over, it took everything I could to keep from crying. I was crashing from my high and it felt as if my life was over.

I was the first to move. I sat up and looked down at his long, graceful body with its sculptured muscles and flat planes. He looked so delicious, the proportions of his arms and legs, waist and penis just perfect. I didn't want him to move so I could capture and commit to memory everything about him.

"Take a picture, it lasts longer."

I smiled. "You know, I'm going to." I ran and retrieved my cell phone, held it up and took a photo of the two of us from the shoulders up. We're lying on the pillow, heads touching, smiling as if we'd just had great sex, which we had.

"Email that to me." He said.

"Sure." I lied. I wasn't going to take any chances that Susan would find it on his computer.

He rolled his eyes. "I can tell that you're lying."

I laughed. "You're right. She's going to be home in a few minutes. You need to go upstairs and take a shower; I need to take one too."

"Let's take one together."

"No. She needs to subconsciously see that the bathroom is steamy, the towels wet, that a shower was taken in your bathroom. It's time, Greg. It's time for you to go."

"Stay with me."

I shook my head. "You know I can't. I love both of you. I can't be the one that breaks her heart, sorry. Now get up and get dressed." I went over to my suitcase and picked out underwear, a pair of cropped cargo pants and a clean khaki t-shirt.

Greg stood up and came over to me. "This is bull and you know it. All you have to do is say the word and we can be together."

"The cost is too high. I'm sorry."

Despite my words, I jumped forward and grabbed hold of him in one last attempt to absorb whatever it was between us. He held me so tight I had to physical push away to breath. After a minute I pushed further to break his hold.

"Go."

"No, I don't want to."

"I'm going to go take my shower and I'm begging you to be gone when I come out. Please? For Susan's sake? For mine?"

He winced and let go of me. His clothes went on rather quickly and then he crossed the room, looked back , his eyes full of despair, and left, the front door closing with a resounding thud.

Dear Readers:

I hope you're enjoying this so far...well, the dam has broken and they both have acknowledged their feelings. Thank you for reviewing...it reminds me to post! LOL