Chapter 24

Keeping up Pretenses

I threw my bag and duvet down in the guest room and joined Susan out in the kitchen. "Where's Greg?"

"He's sleeping at his place tonight—claims he has some work to do around the apartment and go through his mail and messages. I think he's avoiding you."

If you only knew. "Yeah, I'd say that was a safe bet."

"I wish you two could bury the hatchet and get along." She handed me a glass of wine.

I shrugged. "It's not necessary if I'm leaving, right?"

"Well, you are coming back to visit. What if he sells his apartment?"

I grinned. "Then he can stay with James when I'm here."

"I think James is going to get married!"

"Again?"

She gleefully nodded.

"Oh, my God, he's a glutton for punishment; isn't he?"

"Really, Fin, what if Greg and I get married?"

I swallowed the wine I was drinking and it went down the wrong pipe. I started coughing. "Married?"

"Who knows? Anything can happen right?"

I thought about it. She was right. I never thought when I moved here a year ago that I'd fall in love with Gregory House, let alone have an afternoon of carnal lust the day before I was going to leave. "I guess."

The next morning, I got up, took a shower, went down to my apartment and dragged the mattress out to the hall and propped it against the wall so that the Salvation Army could pick it up and then went back to get my things. Susan dragged herself out of the bedroom still sleepy and dressed in her pajamas.

"I'm going."

"Don't you want coffee, breakfast?"

"No, I'll get something on the way out of town. You be good and remember that I'm just a plane ride away. Call me if you need anything."

We started our long drawn out hug.

She started crying, "You too. Call me each night when you stop."

"I will."

"I love you." She said, tears seeping into my shoulder.

"I love you too."

We pulled apart, I grabbed my bag and duvet and left. My heart was so heavy I thought it was going to slip down into my foot. I hit the button for the garage and leaned against the wall of the elevator as it took me to "G."

The door opened and I walked back to the far corner where my assigned parking spot was. I immediately recognized the tall figure leaning against my car staring at his new sneakers. My heart was back up in my throat beating like a snare drum. I walked up and he raised his head.

"Need some help?"

"I've got it." I opened the back door and threw my stuff in, closing it and turning to look at him.

"Stay with me."

I closed my eyes, the pain was so intense. "I can't. She's talking about marrying you some day."

"What?"

"I just can't. She loves you."

I stood in front of him holding my keys out in front of me to signal my desire for him to move so I could get into the driver's seat. "Greg, I have to go. I'm sorry. I should never have slept with you. I'm a crappy friend."

"Oh, God, get over yourself. I'm bad, you're bad, we're horrible people, but I don't want you to go."

"I don't want to go; I have to go. Please step aside."

He stepped forward and I stepped back.

"Greg." I cautioned him with my voice.

"I just wanted to give you a hug before you go. I am allowed to say goodbye, right?"

"We don't have to hug…"

"What are you afraid of?"

My voice cracked, "I'm afraid that if I hug you I won't be able to let you go."

"I'm betting on it."

He held out his arms and I slipped into them. With my face buried in his chest, he wrapped his long arms protectively around me. The heartbeat, the smell, the warmth, it all brought back yesterday afternoon's memories. He kissed the crown of my head and then put his cheek where he had kissed.

"I'll miss you."

I started sobbing. "I'll miss you too. Now, please move."

He let go of me and stepped aside. I opened the door and just before I climbed in, I turned to face him. He leaned in and gave me a simple, gentle kiss and then put his forehead on mine. "Stay with me."

I shook my head and climbed into the car, starting it and pulling out without looking back. I knew if I did, I'd probably stay. The day started with a light sprinkle on the roads and as I drove west, the rain pounded down on the car like the tears falling on my lap.