The thought of losing Edward – losing the Cullens was enough to keep me up at night. Why would they want to risk their lives for a mere human like me? It didn't make sense. The thought that one of them could be hurt, or even destroyed, trying to protect me, haunted my conscience. Esme had already fought with Victoria and been injured. Sure she healed quickly, but what if something worse happened? I couldn't bear it.

I didn't have anyone else to turn to though, and frankly, the idea of leaving and never seeing Edward again hurt too much. I couldn't envision a future without him in it. I'd probably come to rely on him and Alice too much, but for once it was nice to have friends and be able to trust other people. I still had secrets to keep, but I was finally free.

Victoria's face haunted my dreams. Her fiery red hair flashed through my dreams, always in the background, always watching, waiting. I'd find myself lost in the woods after Edward walked away from me, only to see her stalking him, stalking me. She was dangerous and I was scared. Vampires were fast and quiet and strong, and I would never see her coming. When she did come, I hoped it was only me in her path.

Having Edward by my side no longer helped keep the nightmares at bay. Too much had happened since Santa Cruz, and I supposed I had reached some kind of breaking point. My mind seemed fractured, and I felt detached from what was going on around me. Paranoia had taken over, and every bump in the night and rustle of the wind had me on edge. Every time I closed my eyes, she was there. If it wasn't her, it was my father's dead eyes or flames closing in around me. Dr. Cullen had wanted me to start seeing a therapist, but that seemed useless now that the biggest issue I had was a blood thirsty vampire set on revenge. I'm not sure how I could explain that one.

It was a struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I didn't miss the concern etched on Edward's face. There's no telling what he might have overheard as I talked in my sleep. It would be nice not to have to sleep and never feel tired. Nightmares had plagued me for a long time, and the idea of never having to see those images again was definitely something I could go for.

I ignored Edward's disapproving stare as I barely ate any of the breakfast he made for me.

"When did you learn to cook?" I asked him when he surprised me with a plate of scrambled eggs and toast.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I have a lot of time on my hands."

I was touched by the thought that he had learned to cook just for me. "Thank you."

"Is it good?"

I nodded. "I'm just not very hungry."

"It all tastes like dirt to me, so if something doesn't taste right, you have to let me know."

"I will." I promised him. "So what would happened if you ate human food?"

"It just sits in our stomachs and we have to...um...bring it up later. We can't digest it."

I grimaced. "Sounds uncomfortable."

"It is, but sometimes we have to keep up appearances."

I nodded and cleared my plate, scraping the uneaten food into the trash. He frowned and I apologized.

The ride to school was quiet with both Alice and Jasper shooting me worried looks. I knew I looked exhausted, and I really hadn't felt like putting in the effort this morning. We headed to first period, with my arms wrapped around Edward's waist, and his around my shoulder. I didn't want to let go of him. He was my shield. When we got to our classroom I inhaled deeply, letting his scent calm me before I went to take my seat. Alice joined me after a few minutes, taking her usual desk beside me.

I was so far behind, that I really worried if I'd ever completely catch up. I knew my teachers were being nice and letting most assignments slide as long as I took a few extra tests to prove I knew the materials. English class wouldn't be a problem as I'd already read everything for that class at least once before. I'd never struggled a day in my life with English. I was, however, concerned about Trigonometry and Government, but I knew Alice and Edward would do whatever they could to help me make it through.

Lunch came quickly and the four of us escaped to a secluded picnic table outside. Rosalie refused to have anything to do with me, and Edward had explained she felt I was an intruder. She'd had her family as it was for fifty years, and now I was threatening that dynamic. Not to mention the fact that I was human, knew their secrets, and Edward couldn't read my thoughts to know if I had any ulterior motives. Apparently, it had taken her quite a while to warm up to Alice and Jasper when they joined the family. Emmett had nothing against me, but Rosalie was his...wife. It was still hard to think about them in those terms. They were all playing the part of high school students, but in reality they were all born before 1920. These two high school couples had actually been married for decades. It was a lot to consider. They had all experienced so much in their lifetimes.

"Bella, I thought we might go see a movie after school in Port Angeles." Alice gave me one of her sweetest smiles.

"I have homework to do, Alice." I mumbled, pushing my salad around in the bowl. "Maybe this weekend?" My eyes kept flickering back to the forest, expecting to see a flash of red hair in the trees just waiting for me.

Alice blew out a breath. "You'll have time after the movie to work on it. Might as well give in Bella, I already saw you saying yes. You've never been to one before, and it's time you started experiencing all the fun things in life."

I shook my head at my friend's antics. No one could deny Alice once she'd set her mind to something. I don't think she's ever understood the meaning of the word 'no.'

I let out a sigh and nodded. "Sure, Alice, whatever you want, but first you have to tell me your story."

Of course Alice already knew what my stipulation would be and gave me a toothy grin. "I don't really have a story. I just woke up one day, like this." She gestured to herself. "I don't remember anything about my human life."

"Wow." I breathed.

"If I didn't have my visions, I don't know what I would have done. Jasper's face was the first thing I saw, so I set out to find him. When I did, I told him about Carlisle and his way of life and we set off together to find him." A look passed between the three of them, and Alice continued carefully. "Actually, I just became aware of some new information that may help me figure out at least part of my past. One of the nomads knew me...from my human days. Edward saw me in his thoughts." She laughed dryly. "Seems me and you have something in common, Bella."

Edward shot her a warning glare. "Alice..."

"Edward, she's my best friend and she's going to be my sister. There's no reason to keep any of this from her." She turned to me. "Apparently one of the males hunted me as a human, but someone turned me before he could get to me. I was in an asylum."

"Oh," was all I had to offer.

"It gives me another clue." She shrugged. I couldn't imagine how difficult it must be for her to know nothing of who she was. Waking up as a vampire must be hard enough, but to be alone and no memory of anything prior to that moment...the very idea of it was frightening.

I turned to Edward. "How did you pick that out of his head? It all happened so fast. Shouldn't you have been concentrating on fighting and not getting hurt?"

Jasper snickered at my concern. "You don't have to worry about us getting hurt, Bella."

"He was thinking about Alice when he was following us. Our minds are very...complicated. We can concentrate on several things at once and process things much faster than humans." He spoke quietly.

"So how do you become...one of you?" I whispered.

"I don't think we should talk about that...here." Edward said through gritted teeth.

"Don't you mean ever, dear brother." Alice sneered.

"Alice!"

"She's going to find out eventually."

"Then it can wait."

"If it was up to you, you'd never tell her."

"She doesn't need to know. It's not going to happen."

Alice narrowed her eyes at Edward and he growled sharply at her.

"Can we not talk about me like I'm not here?" I interrupted. They both glared at each other, but snapped their jaws shut.

Unnatural calm settled over the table and Jasper leaned forward. "You'll have to forgive my brother, Bella. He only wishes to protect you from the less delicate details of our nature. And my dear wife here believes you should be fully informed."

"Well maybe I should be allowed to make my own choices?"

"I agree. It's those two you have to convince."

Alice and Edward were gaping at us and I raised an eyebrow at Edward. "I'm either in this or not, Edward. I don't like secrets and information being kept from me. I'm not a child and it's not up to you to decide what I can and cannot handle. If you can't be completely open with me, then we have no business even trying...whatever this is between us." I gestured between the two of us.

Jasper tucked Alice into his side and they turned their attention to each other, giving us a false sense of privacy.

Edward's jaw clenched, and I reached out to gently caress his cheek. He closed his eyes, his tawny lashes resting on his marble cheek, and pressed his head into my hand. After taking a deep breath, he turned to me, his eyes burning with a new intensity. "We'll talk tonight." He promised.

Then he wrapped my arm around me and pulled me into his side, where I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes. I could have easily fallen asleep right then. Unfortunately, lunch was almost over. Jasper took care of our trays, and I was glad that Edward and I had Biology next, so that I didn't have to completely unwrap myself from his arms. We were watching a film in Biology, which required no active participation, so I was able to think more about Edward, and what the future might mean for us.

Our short discussion at the table at lunch brought up so many questions. Exactly what was going on between us? Edward would never age, and I would. While that might give us a few years together, eventually it would become an issue. I was human, Edward was not. Who knows how many limitations that would mean. Every day, I was falling deeper into whatever this was with him. From the first time I saw him, I felt the inexplicable attraction between us. But if nothing could come of it....

The bell rang and I groaned with the realization that I would have to leave Edward's side and go to gym class. I was tired and thankful that my head injury excused me from whatever torture Coach Clapp had thought up to further prove my proclivity for clumsiness. Edward shouldered my backpack as it was a part of the new routine, and he walked me to class. I kept my distance, though I ached for his touch. When we reached the girl's locker room door, I took my bag from him and turned to go, but his hand shot out and grasped my wrist.

"Bella..." He began, ducking his head in an attempt to make eye contact. When I met his gaze, I saw the conflict and pain there, and I knew this was as hard for him as it was for me, if not more so. I couldn't help but reach up and cup his cheek with my hand. He closed his eyes and pressed his head into my hand, his brow furrowed with emotion. We didn't need words.

"We'll talk tonight." I whispered, before my teeth found my bottom lip again. His hand grasped my chin and he brushed the pad of his thumb across my lips, willing me to stop chewing on them. His eyes lingered on my mouth and I desperately wished he would kiss me, but I knew now wasn't the time for such advances.

"Tonight." He promised, trailing his fingers across my cheek and tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

I was finally pulled out of my Edward-induced haze when Alice bounced up to us. She and Edward had yet another silent conversation, and I quickly turned to enter the locker room. I was already dressed and at my locker when she caught up to me.

"I'm giving my brother a chance to tell you himself. After you two talk tonight, if he's still being difficult, I'll tell you everything you want to know. It's not fair to you for him to pick and choose what he wants you to know."

"Thanks Alice." I gave her a warm smile, and she hugged me quickly.

"I meant it, you know. You are my best friend, and one day you'll be my sister." She tapped her head meaningfully.

Gym wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. Alice managed to dazzle Coach Clapp into letting her walk around the track with me, citing that she wanted to be close in case I had any dizzy spells. Of course, I was healed as far as I was concerned. The stitches would be coming out this week, and I'd had no side effects from the injury, but Dr. Cullen erred on the side of caution and had written a note to excuse me from regular activity for an entire month.

I scanned the treeline warily as we began to walk.

Alice, of course, noticed my apprehension. "You're worried about Victoria."

"Of course I am."

"She's not going to get close enough to even touch you, Bella."

"I know." I replied, though the uncertainty could be heard in my shaky voice.

"Then why are you so frightened?"

"I saw Esme. What if she hurts one of you again? You shouldn't be risking yourselves for me." I shook my head, the panic beginning to bubble up inside me.

Alice quickened her pace and then stopped in front of me so quickly that I almost stumbled right into her. "Bella, stop. You're worrying about the wrong thing here. Our family is strong. Our only fear is losing you."

"But why would you..."

She interrupted me by reaching out and laying her cold hands on my bare arms. "Edward has been alone for almost a century, and now he's found you. You can't see the changes that we see, we who have been with him for so long. Do you think any of us wants to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you?"

A whistle sounded and Alice pulled me along, resuming our walk. I was speechless for the moment. To think that his entire family knew how much I meant to him made me realize how much he really cared. It was one thing for us to share small touches and loving words, but for his family to risk their lives to ensure my safety and his happiness... I gasped at the emotion that threatened to overwhelm me and Alice arched one delicate eyebrow in my direction. There was more love shared among this family of vampires than I'd ever known in my human life.

I wanted that. For eternity.

Alice stopped walking suddenly, and before I could figure out what was wrong, she turned to me with a huge, knowing smile.

"What?" I asked her.

"You're going to be my sister." She linked her arm with mind and we started walked again.

"I thought you already knew that?"

"Well...I did, but it suddenly became clearer." She explained. Though I was still confused, I let it go.

"Why did you let me leave?" This was a rare chance to ask her all the questions that had been milling around in my head since I found out about her visions.

She shrugged. "I saw that you would come back."

"If you saw that I would come back, then why not just make me stay in the first place?"

"It's not my place to manipulate events in order to things to go the way I want them to. You needed to go and figure some things out on your own."

"Did you see everything about me while I was away?"

"No, not everything. I knew your truck would break down..."

"Which is why you wrote the note. Holy crow! They were..." I looked up at Alice and she confirmed it.

"Yes, Peter and Charlotte are good friends of Jasper's. They don't adhere to our diet, but they aren't savages either." She looked at me sideways, gauging my reaction.

I inhaled deeply and nodded. "They were very nice."

"If I thought for one second they would have hurt you, I wouldn't have let you leave the house." She insisted.

"No, it's fine. It's just a lot to take in, you know?"

Alice agreed. "I'm sorry I didn't see the explosion until it was too late. Edward was beside himself with worry. My visions are by no means infallible. I might see something, but it's too late to do anything, or if someone changes their mind, everything else can change too. When Edward realized that I couldn't guarantee your safety one hundred percent, he was determined to have you back where he could protect you." She smiled sheepishly. "We all wanted you to come home anyway."

"Why? I mean, Rosalie hates me. I can't imagine you all wanted a human hanging around."

"He was miserable while you were gone, Bella. It affected us all. Carlisle and Esme see you as one of their own. I already consider you my sister, as do Jasper and Emmett. He loves you..."

I gasped, my head whipped to the side to see her lips pursed in a smug smile. She nodded slowly, holding my gaze with her golden eyes.

We walked in silence for a little while, as I absorbed her revelation. He loves me? This perfect immortal, who could have any woman or vampire in the world that he wanted...and he loves me? I could never measure up. Alice, Esme and Rosalie were blindingly gorgeous. Charlotte had been too. Why would he want someone as plain as me, when he could have perfection? I trusted Alice enough to know she wouldn't lie to me. She had been by my side from day one, always pushing me and Edward together. I wondered how long she had known. I wondered what she had seen.

"So...what have you...did you ever see..." Before I could spit out the question I wanted to ask, the whistle sounded again and it class was over.

Alice flashed me a toothy grin and jogged off towards the locker rooms. It took me quite a bit longer to get back, because if I had jogged, I would have fallen and twisted an ankle or something. She was waiting for me when I got back and once I had showered and redressed, we headed out to meet Edward and Jasper for our afternoon excursion. If I was honest, the idea of seeing a movie in the theater was exciting. I was tired and had so much schoolwork to do, but I needed this distraction. Alice was right.

~~**~~

I couldn't hide my excitement as we walked up to the ticket booth at the movie theater. Edward had me tucked under his arm and I snaked one arm around his waist. I read the titles on the marquee, but had no idea what any of them were about.

"What should we see?" I asked Edward quietly.

"Whatever you would like. The movie theater here doesn't have much of a selection. We'll go to Seattle one night and I'll take you to one of the big ones there."

Like a date? My heart raced at the unspoken possibility.

"I don't even know what these movies are about." I murmured, embarrassed.

He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and rested his head on my shoulder. I could feel his icy breath on my neck. "Well you can choose from a sci-fi action movie, or a romantic comedy. Unless you want to see something more suited for children?"

"The romantic comedy?" I asked, turning towards Jasper and Alice to get their input.

"Sounds great!" Alice chirped, before striding up to the window to purchase our tickets. I was almost surprised she waited for me to make a choice, knowing that she already saw what I would pick.

The smell of popcorn assaulted me as we stepped through the doors and I paused for a moment in order to take in everything.

"Why don't you girls go find a seat and we'll get the refreshments." Edward suggested.

I was going to protest that I could get my own popcorn, but Alice was pulling me towards the theater doors before I could say anything.

Ten minutes later Edward and Jasper walked into the theater with their arms full of snacks. I looked at them incredulously. "You know there's no way I can eat all that."

"I didn't know what you liked, and we do have keep up appearances after all." Edward shrugged.

All that food must have cost a fortune. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw they wanted four dollars for a small soda. I decided to be polite and thanked him, before accepting one of the sodas and some popcorn.

"This was a good idea." I admitted, knowing my cheeks were red. I kept my head straight ahead so I would have to see Alice's "I told you so" expression.

It wasn't long before the lights dimmed and the big screen flickered to life. All three vampires peered at me as my heart sped up with excitement, causing me to blush. Edward chuckled, wrapping his arm around me as if we were a real couple. The previews were exciting to me, and I saw a couple of films I'd like to see when they come out. Finally the movie started and I relaxed into Edward's side. Every so often his honeyed laugh would ring out and it was a glorious sound. It was easy to forget we were vampire and human for a moment, and having this wonderful boy by my side made watching the movie much more enjoyable. There was only one other couple in the entire place, so it was almost like we were having our own private showing. The movie was cute, nothing too serious – the perfect distraction. By the time it was over, we were both so comfortable and cozy that neither one of us wanted to move. Jasper volunteered to drive so Edward and I could sit together in the back. We weren't even halfway home before I gave in and fell asleep. I was just so comfortable, curled up next to him.

"Bella..." I heard his voice calling to me through the fog. "Wake up. We're home." His icy hands on my face helped pull me from my slumber. I jumped, momentarily confused as to where I was. Then I remembered – Port Angeles...the movie...the car ride home. "Come on, or else I'll carry you up." He threatened.

I grunted in annoyance and stumbled out of the car. After rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I noticed Carlisle standing next to his Mercedes. "Oh...hi...Dr. Cullen." I yawned as the words left my mouth. No one had told me he'd be stopping by and I wondered why he was here.

"Hi Bella. How many times do I have to tell you, it's Carlisle." He smiled warmly.

"Let's go upstairs, love." Edward pressed his hand against the small of my back and my whole body warmed at his touch.

Once we were settled inside, Alice escaped to my closet with the intention of matching up another week's worth of outfits and making sure I had everything I needed, knowing I would never ask for anything. Apparently, Alice rarely let anyone in their household wear the same outfit more than once. I had put up a huge fight on the issue because it was just a waste of time and money. She explained that they always donated their used clothes to shelters and other such places that could put them to good use, and that softened the blow a bit. I still didn't condone the way she spent money on clothes, particularly those in my closet. I was fine with generic mix and match pieces from the local box store, but somehow I knew none of the clothes in my room were anything but designer labels.

I took a seat on the couch and Carlisle sat in the chair next to it. "Edward needs to hunt tonight. He's going to go with Alice and Jasper, and I'm going to stay with you."

I looked up at Edward, who was hovering behind Carlisle. He cleared his throat. "Carlisle, Bella and I actually needed to talk about something tonight."

"I'm sure it can wait. This is about Bella's safety. Victoria isn't the only threat..."

"Carlisle!" Edward growled. "I would never..."

I quickly stood up, closing the distance between us and peered into his eyes. They were much darker than usual, and I wondered how I had missed that today. "Are you...thirsty...Edward?" I asked. He swallowed thickly and flicked his eyes away from me. "Edward?"

He nodded ever so slightly, his face awash with shame.

"Hey." I called to him softly, and he reluctantly looked at me. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. You need to take care of yourself too." I pressed my palm to his cheek and he tipped his nose towards my wrist, inhaling deeply.

He gave me a crooked grin and nodded again, more decisively this time. "It gets easier all the time." He murmured. "I'll be back as soon as I can." He promised.

"I'll be fine." I assured him. "We'll talk tomorrow." A frown flashed across his face briefly and then his expression was impassive.

"Tomorrow." He promised. Then he pulled me into a tight embrace and kissed the top of my head. "Sleep well."

"I'll try." I gave him a weak smile. We both knew that was unlikely, especially without him there. A throat cleared and we emerged from our private bubble. Alice's face was split by the widest grin I'd ever seen and even Jasper was smiling knowingly. My cheeks flushed, knowing he could feel whatever emotions that were passing between Edward and I. Carlisle kept his gaze averted respectfully, though I was sure he had been the one to break us up.

Edward turned to leave, and Alice gave me a quick squeeze as she followed him out. Jasper paused by my side and leaned in closer than he's ever been before. He spoke quietly for my benefit. "There's no reason to be embarrassed, Bella. You can't possibly understand how happy we are to see you two together. You've brought him to life and filled him with joy. Thank you."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Alice peeked back in the door and called for Jasper to hurry up. He squeezed my shoulder gently before exiting the apartment, leaving Carlisle and me alone.

I turned to Carlisle, who was standing in the living room smiling. "Do you need anything?" I asked. Of course I couldn't offer him anything to eat or drink, unless he was rethinking his stance after almost three hundred and sixty years, but I had to be polite.

He chuckled. "I'm fine, Bella. Why don't you come and sit down for a moment. I know you have things to do, but I'd like a moment to talk with you first."

"Sure." I agreed and sat back down on the couch. Carlisle returned to the chair he was occupying before. He leaned back, crossing his legs and clasping his hands over his abdomen.

"How is school going?" He asked conversationally.

I shrugged. "Fine, I guess. I missed a lot, but the teachers are being very accommodating. I don't have to worry about all the assignments that I missed. They're going to test me, and as long as I know the information, then they'll consider me caught up."

He nodded. "Good. I'm sure you'll have no problems, and you know we're always here if you need any extra help. As many times as they have been through high school, Edward and Alice should be able to answer any of your questions."

I felt my eyes grow wide. "How many times?" I asked.

"I think this the sixth time for Edward. Did you know he holds two medical degrees as well?" I shook my head, painfully aware that my mouth was hanging open. I'd never considered that aspect of their lives. Of course, with all the time in the world, they would have to find something to occupy themselves, and Being a teenager for eternity came with a lot more limitations that I had considered.

"And you?" I could spend weeks listening to Carlisle talk about his life. It was all so fascinating to me to think of what he's experienced over almost four centuries.

"It was easier in the past to set up somewhere new. These days I have to be more thorough. Every so often, I do go back to medical school to keep everything up to date. We usually can stay five years in one place before people start to question my age, or lack thereof."

I hugged a throw pillow to me, hoping he would continue, but he leaned forward, set on changing the subject.

"I was going to see if you could come by the hospital tomorrow, but since I'm here, I figured we could just take care of everything now?"

"Um, sure, I guess." I shrugged. It would be nice not to have to set foot in that place. The smell alone made me dizzy.

Carlisle went to fetch a bag that was sitting just inside the front door. I hadn't noticed it before. It was a black leather satchel, exactly what you would expect a doctor's bag to look like. He set it on the kitchen table and motioned for me to join him. I took a seat in one of the chairs and watched as he laid out supplies on the table.

He began to work with quick efficiency, plucking the stitches from my forehead. His hands were cold and steady, his concentration never wavering.

"Do you regret what you are?" I blurted out and he paused, leaning back a bit and looking me in the eye.

"No, I do not. Of course I have wondered what might have been if I had remained human. I would have taken a wife and had children, most likely. I would have liked that. Grandchildren would have been a blessing." He returned to his work. "But I can't regret this life. It brought me Edward and Esme, Rose, Emmett, Alice, Jasper...you. I've spent my time learning all I can and devoted myself to saving lives."

"I still can't believe you work at a hospital." I murmured.

He chuckled lightly. "Years and years of practice."

"Why though? So many years of struggle and self-denial to get where you are today. Why did you do it?"

He pursed his lips together and I felt another tug as he pulled the last stitch out.

"I enjoy my work. Sometimes, my enhanced abilities enable me to save someone's life who would have otherwise died. It's nice to know that because I exist, some people's lives are better."

Carlisle cleaned the area with some kind of solution and then disposed of the trash. "You'll have a small scar." He gave me a sad smile and I waved him off.

"I've got plenty, what's one more?" He frowned at my attempt at humor and began unwrapping more supplies.

"I'm going to just go ahead and take your blood here. The scent won't linger long once I've left with it."

I swallowed nervously and nodded. "So why do you do it?" I asked, enjoying our conversation. Carlisle was so open and compassionate that I couldn't help but feel completely at ease in his presence.

"I thought I already answered that." He regarded me carefully.

"No...I mean, why resist at all?"

His eyes widened in understanding and he sat back for a moment. "I didn't ask for this life, but it wasn't something I could change. So, I had to decide what to do with what I was given." He smiled then. "Much like you, my father was a clergy man, and I didn't agree with his particular brand of faith. But, never, in the nearly four hundred years I've walked this Earth, have I seen anything to make me doubt that God exists in some form or another. Not even the reflection in the mirror."

I played with the hem of my shirt, not realizing that my questions would turn the conversation to one of religion. It was the last thing I expected to talk about with a vampire of all creatures. His words resonated with me. After all he had seen, after all these years...he still believed in God...and in a mere fifteen years, I had dismissed any possibility of the idea that He could really exist.

Carlisle interrupted my train of thought. "I have to believe that there is still a point to this life. We exist for a reason. I have to hope...maybe foolishly...that we'll get some measure of credit for trying."

"I don't think that's foolish." I mumbled, thrown once again into my own existential crisis. Surely, any deity would be impressed with Carlisle, with any of them who have lived so long in self-denial to do what was right – to go against their very nature and revere human life. Any God who would damn someone like Carlisle, was not one I could believe in.

Then I realized the difference between Carlisle and Edward.

Carlisle still viewed himself as another of God's creatures, subject to judgment by a higher power.

Edward already considered himself damned, a demon with no chance of salvation.

"You're the very first one to agree with me." He continued, turning back to his supplies and tying the tourniquet around my bicep.

"The rest of them don't feel the same?" I asked, surprised.

"Edward is with me up to a point." He swabbed the inside of my elbow with cold alcohol and located a vein. "God and heaven exist...and so does hell. But he doesn't believe there is an afterlife for our kind. You see, he thinks we've lost our souls."

I gasped at that bit of information and Carlisle took advantage of the moment to slide the needle under my skin. I scowled at him and his eyes twinkled. He knew how to distract me from what I hated.

"That's impossible." I protested.

He spoke slowly. "I look at my...son. His strength, the goodness, the brightness that shines out of him – and it only fuels that hope, that faith, more than ever. How could there not be more for one such as Edward?"

I nodded in fervent agreement.

"You and I have a lot in common." Carlisle continued after he pulled the syringe from my arm and wiped the bit of blood away. He applied a band-aid and pressed my hand to my arm telling me silently to keep pressure on it for a bit. "You'll have to be patient with him. The future won't be easy for you two and you're both going to have to make some difficult decisions." He looked at me carefully, trying to convey how important our conversation tonight had been. "Have faith, Bella, and share that with him."

He patted my shoulder before he cleaned up again and then took the trash out, not wanting any trace of my blood lingering in the apartment.

When he came back in, he gave me a stern look. "You are still underweight. You haven't been eating much lately, have you?"

My face flamed red and shook my head. "I haven't been hungry."

His lips pursed in disapproval. "Bella, you have to make sure you eat, even if you don't feel like it."

"I know." I whispered.

"You also aren't sleeping, and Edward tells me the nightmares are worse. Now, I can understand why you are experiencing these things, and it's to be expected. Honestly, I'd be worried if you weren't affected by the events that occurred this past weekend."

"Just knowing she's out there...that she hurt Esme...that she could hurt one of you again..." I shook my head, trying to dispel the tears that were trying to escape. I didn't want to cry in front of Carlisle.

"You really don't need to worry about us getting hurt, sweet girl." His voice was calm and full of tenderness. This was the father I'd never had, but desperately needed. "I'm not sure what we can say to convince you of that fact. I don't think you can be convinced. You're going to worry about us no matter what. It's just your nature." He mused almost more to himself than to me.

"You're right." I smiled wryly through my tears. "I've already lost so much. I just couldn't bear it if something happened to one of you because of me..."

I didn't see him move, but I felt his cold marble arms embracing me. "Shh. Nothing is going to happen to us. I promise." He handed me a kitchen cloth to dry my face with and gave me a warm smile. "Now, fix yourself something to eat first, and then I'm guessing you have plenty of schoolwork to keep you occupied?"

I nodded and cleaned up my face, sniffling away the last of my tears. Peeking in the refrigerator, I decided on a quick sandwich for dinner. As I was putting it together, Carlisle leaned over the counter.

"I can prescribe you something to help you sleep, if you'd like." He offered. "There are also things that might help with the anxiety...you know...just until you feel safer."

Carlisle approached the matter carefully, quite aware that I had been raised to not trust doctors. It's not that I agreed with my father on the issue, I just didn't like the idea of needing pharmaceuticals to help me function. I should be able to overcome these things on my own. I should be able to sleep through the night peacefully. "Thank you, Carlisle. I'll keep that in mind, but I'm sure I'll be fine. It will just take some time for my brain to work everything out." I gave him a reassuring smile and bit into my sandwich.

He nodded, having received the answer he expected and then disappeared into the living room. I finished my sandwich and gulped down a glass of milk, before heading to my room to work on schoolwork. I decided I should save the Trig for when Edward was here. I'm sure Carlisle could have helped me if I needed it, but I felt weird asking him for some reason. I still had two papers to write in English on novels they read while I was away, so I figured that would be the easiest place to start. I picked up my copy of Wuthering Heights and made myself comfortable on the bed with my notebook beside me. The book was a favorite, and I'd read it at least three times already. I knew I'd write about social class and how that affected the characters, but I needed to find quotes and passages to support my argument.

Heathcliff and Catherine were in the midst of a heated exchange when Victoria flew into the room, ripping them to shreds and painting the room in blood. She turned to find me cowering behind a chair and as her ruby red eyes locked on mine, a blur of copper and alabaster intercepted her. I watched the boy I loved fight this wild haired demon and cried out in horror as I realized she had the upper hand. Her arms encircled him like a cage and her teeth were at his neck.

"No!" I screamed, running out from behind the chair. I threw myself at them. "It's me you want! Don't hurt him!"

Victoria snapped her teeth shut in a ferocious grin and then she ripped through Edward's granite flesh, right before my eyes.

"No! No! No!"

I screamed and tried to go to him, but two marble arms were locked around me. I knew she had come for me. My time was up and Edward was gone. There was no one left to protect me. I continued to scream and fight her...

"Bella! Please! You have to calm down. You're going to hurt yourself." The voice was male. Not Victoria.

"Let me go!" I yelled.

His arms loosened and I jumped up from the bed, stumbling backwards as my legs were shaking. Carlisle flashed to my side and caught me before I could fall into the window behind me.

"Carlisle..." I gasped out between breaths.

"It's me. You're safe. Please, sit down. Take deep breaths." He coached me, still holding onto me as I sat on the edge of the bed. He began to rub my back and slowly I regained my composure, though my heart was still racing.

"Thank you." I whispered. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. Are you ok? Can I get you anything?"

"I'm fine." I brushed him off, just wanting to crawl back under the covers and hide.

"You most certainly are not fine. Was your nightmare about Victoria?"

"Yes."

His jaw clenched and he looked determined. "She will not be haunting you for much longer, Bella. I promise you that." I nodded, wanting to believe him. Of course I wanted her to come back, the sooner the better, but I was terrified of what might happen when she did.

Carlisle made sure I was comfortable and then returned to the living room. I tossed and turned for two hours before light spilled in from the hall and his form filled the doorway. I sat up and he rushed to my side.

"Bella." He breathed, wrapping his arms around me.

"Edward." I sighed, inhaling deeply. I could already feel my eyes growing heavy, his presence calmed me immediately. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. Sleep now, Bella." He crooned, laying us down on the bed. He began to hum as his fingers lightly caressed my hair. I was finally able to drift back to sleep, cradled in his protective arms. I knew he would keep me safe, but who would protect him?