Chapter Four

Shepard crossed the small bridge connecting the corridor to engineering, calling out to Tali as she passed through the door: "How're those rewrites coming, Tali?"

Tali was at her console, a stack of OSDs at her elbow. She didn't turn as she answered. "Cerberus identifiers are the most obnoxious codes I've ever come across," she grumbled. "Very thorough. Almost too thorough."

"That bad?" Shepard peered at the data readout scrolling across Tali's screens. A mass of complex code streamed along the holographic screen, some Shepard recognised, many she didn't. In comparison to Tali's skills, Shepard's own hacking abilities seemed amateurish at best.

"Yes, that bad," Tali echoed wearily, pausing to rub her visor with a hand in exasperation. "Even with EDI's help, this is still taking longer than expected."

"It's just as well," Shepard replied grimly. "We've run up against a snag as well." She leaned her back against the terminal, arms crossing.

"I thought you seemed a bit distracted," Tali observed. "What kind of snag?"

"Seems like someone else is going after the Suns," Shepard told her quietly. Tali grunted, fingers still flying across the keyboard.

"Not surprising. Mercenary bands are popular for attracting revenge; why should the Blue Suns be any different?"

Shepard noted the embittered irritation in the quarian's voice. Even with her compliance to help Shepard, Tali was still very much against the overall plan. Two years ago, Shepard herself would've been in the same boat. Unfortunately, it wasn't so easy anymore. Without the Alliance on her side or the Council backing her (had they ever?), she was on her own. She suspected she would've been able to come up with a far more logical and morally reasonable plan two years prior. Sadly, her thought process wasn't the same as it had been. Her old self would've probably refused to take Zaeed on-board with them. Hell, she would've gone through with the impulse to wallop him into submission on Zorya and left him there to burn with his hatred. Her old self would've raged at the idea of letting those people burn. That Shepard would've gotten back into the shuttle the second she'd discovered the true purpose of their presence there. Revenge was petty when put against the big picture.

At what point had she lost sight of it?

Pushing those thoughts from her, Shepard rubbed her forehead tiredly. "You're right, Tali. For all we know, this is a common thing with them."

"Yet it has you bothered just the same," Tali remarked simply. Shepard attempted to suppress the acknowledging nod, then gave in with a small sigh. "You've changed, Shepard. I worry about you."

"Hey, I'm fine, Tali. Don't worry about me," Shepard assured her with flippance she didn't feel. Tali paused in her keystrokes and turned her head towards her commander and friend. Even through the tinted visor, Shepard could see the "Don't take me for an idiot, Shepard" look in the quarian's eyes.

"I don't care what you say, Shepard: you've changed. And I don't know if it's for the better," Tali continued. "It seems like ever since Cerberus brought you back, you've been acting strangely. For awhile you seemed all right, like when we met on Freedom's Progress. Sure, you were working with the enemy, but it was still you. Then when you came for me on Haestrom, you'd...hardened. And you had him with you." She shifted to look her friend square in the eyes. "I caught you looking to him whenever a decision had to be reached. The Shepard I knew would never second-guess herself. She'd just go right in and do it, to hell with whoever thought she was crazy. The Shepard I had the honor to fight beside didn't ask for confirmation." She shook her head. "What happened to you?"

Shepard didn't speak for a long time, her thoughts bouncing against the other somewhere between rage at being questioned and guilt for Tali even having to ask these things in the first place. Finally, she offered the only answer she could give: "I died, Tali. That changes a person."

Tali sighed, a hollow sound in her helmet, and turned back to the terminal. "Least that part hasn't changed." Shepard brightened a bit at the smile in Tali's voice. "I just have to trust that you know what you're doing."

"I wish I had a better answer for you, Tali," Shepard told her sincerely. "I'm afraid I'm still figuring things out, myself."

"I can't imagine what it must be like to have died and come back," Tali admitted with a small shrug. "I don't think anyone here can. But," she added, looking at her friend again, "you don't have to suffer alone, Shepard. We're all here for you, no matter what."

Shepard blinked back the tears that stung her eyes, moved by the quarian's words. Would they still feel that way if they ever discovered the truth? She was torn between wanting to reveal everything and letting the chips fall where they may or letting everything play out on its own. She just wondered who among the crew would be the worst one to find out: Garrus or Tali? Both were intelligent and shrewd enough to figure things out on their own. It already seemed to Shepard that Garrus had suspected something, which might've explained his uncharacteristic silence towards her the day before.

Remembering the turian, Shepard asked, "Have you seen Garrus?"

Tali blinked, taken aback by the abrupt subject change. "He was in the main battery last I knew. Why? Do you need him for something?"

"Yeah. Yeah, one of my rifles got jammed by some jerk batarian when I was on Omega," Shepard lied quickly, hating herself for the extra layer of fallacy. "He's the only one on board who can fix it since...well. You know."

"Yes, I understand," Tali replied with as much swiftness. No one liked to think about the events on the base, especially Tali. Shepard suspected the quarian still blamed herself for the deaths of the Cerberus crew, having had to deal with her trial before she could focus on the mission. Shepard wished she could allay her friend's fears; unfortunately, the truth would be worse.

"I'll leave you to your work, Tali. I know you can do it," Shepard patted Tali on the shoulder briefly, then left the engineering deck perhaps a little too quickly. Haste was almost like waving a red flag, bearing "I did it! I was the one who let the crew die! I planned to have Jacob killed! Hell, I was the one who killed Miranda! By all means, trust me!" in great big letters. Shepard thrust the ridiculous image of herself prancing through the ship with such a banner from her thoughts and punched the elevator console a little too roughly, scowling as the door closed and carried her a level up.

The eerie quiet of the crew deck and mess crept into her thoughts unbidden. Images of the innocent crew that had occupied themselves in these chairs and by the water cooler, listening to the latest news reports about their relatives on attacked colonies superimposed themselves everywhere she looked. Even the small kitchen area was beginning to show signs of disuse, dust collecting on the half-finished stews and cutting board. She made a mental note to have the rotten food removed as she climbed the short stairs and strode past the arrangement of sleep pods on her way to the main battery's door.

"Garrus?" Shepard called as the door opened. The turian was absent from the gunnery console and it looked as though he'd been gone for some time. An array of riles and heat sinks lay strewn about the single crate along the wall. Shepard knelt to lift one of the sinks to her face, frowning to discover it was used. She placed it back down, then made to lift one of the rifles when the door opened again. She looked up in time to see Garrus enter, his head bent and his old helmet clutched in his hands.

"Commander!" the turian exclaimed, spying her on the floor with a gun in her hands. He hastily placed his helmet on the gunnery terminal, pivoting to conceal it with his body and undoubtedly hoping she hadn't seen it. Shepard flicked her gaze to the hidden helmet, but said nothing as she rose. "Can I help you with something, Shepard?"

"Been on Omega, Garrus?" Shepard asked, jerking her chin towards the terminal and the helmet. Garrus glanced behind him, then gave a small laugh.

"Yeah, I went down to thank Aria for giving us the extra help and she had this for me," he explained, lifting the battered helmet and staring down at it with a nostalgic smile. "I'm not sure how I feel about batarians on the Normandy, but it's not really my call, is it?"

"They're free labor, Garrus. Take what we can get these days," Shepard replied, smoothing over the irregularity of Aria assisting the turian formally known as Archangel, scourge of Omega's back alleys. "They're just here to get the debris out. I might be doing some questionable things lately, but allowing batarians to join my crew is not one of them."

"I shouldn't have to remind you, Commander, that the majority of the Blue Suns mercs are batarian," Garrus remarked, one bony brow arched. Shepard offered him a tense smile.

"No, you don't have to remind me, Garrus, thank you."

"How will you handle them, then?"

"Bullets," Shepard shrugged nonchalantly, earning a grim chuckle from the turian renegade. "Trust me, Garrus: Zaeed doesn't want batarians in the Suns anymore than we do."

"I don't care if they're with the Suns," Garrus interceded a little sharply, "I only care if they're on this ship longer than they have to be."

"Noted," Shepard replied coolly. They stood in silence for a bit, then Shepard turned to leave. "I have to get up to the bridge, see how EDI and Joker are doing. I'll see you later, Garrus."

"Commander."

Shepard paused on the walkway after the battery door had closed behind her. Garrus usually only referred to her by her military title when he was displeased with her. It was a kind of cold nod to her authority, the closest he would let himself come to outright criticism. Like Tali, Shepard couldn't find blame in Garrus' actions. She considered herself fortunate in that he hadn't gone and done something on his own. His wandering onto Omega had probably been innocent, and who was she to assume anything Aria did as uncharacteristic or otherwise? She wasn't an easy woman to corner; Shepard's own attempt had been a gamble. Aria could've easily kept her promise to remind the commander of what happened when the first rule was broken. Had she never done anything in Aria's favor, Shepard would've surely been spaced again.

The elevator ride to the CIC was brief and Shepard left the lift in silence as she circled the galaxy map and headed for the cockpit. Joker was in conversation with EDI; the bits Shepard caught involved further rewrites and Joker's loud disapproval at having the Normandy remained.

"It's a necessary precaution, Jeff," EDI was saying when Shepard crossed the threshold into the cockpit. "If Cerberus command caught wind of what Shepard was planning, they would seize the Normandy immediately. Besides, I am the Normandy and I agree with the commander."

"But---!" Joker protested stubbornly just as Shepard rounded his chair and perched on the ledge opposite him.

"I understand your concern, Joker," the commander cut across him patiently, causing the pilot to twist in his chair violently and look at her with wide eyes. "But EDI's right. If we go flying around with Normandy as our official title, Cerberus will be on us like vorcha on rotten meat. Without her, we won't be able to have a chance against the Reapers when they come."

"I'm not questioning your decisions, Shepard, but damn! You don't think it's a little extreme?" Joker looked up at Shepard with pleading eyes. She sighed softly, reaching out to rumple Joker's cap around on his head in a sisterly fashion.

"It'll be all right, Joker," she promised him, smiling when he continued to look up at her beneath his askew cap, green eyes resembling a kicked puppy's. "She'll always be the Normandy to us."

Joker pouted briefly, then gave a great sigh of resignation. "All right, Commander. I'll...I'll release the firewalls on the ship's codes then."

Shepard eyed him with surprise. "You're why Tali is having so much trouble?"

"Shhh!" Joker waved his hands at her insistantly. "She might be listening! I didn't like doing it, but this is my baby, Commander! I gotta look out for her!"

"EDI, did you know about this?" Shepard turned to the AI.

"I'm afraid I did, Commander," EDI confessed with as much humility as her vocal programming would allow. "I had hoped to convince Jeff of the change without it suddenly appearing under his nose one day. I was looking out for his best interest."

"Thanks, Mom," Joker smiled appreciatively at her. He looked back at Shepard. "I'll release the firewalls tonight, Commander. Tali should be done with the rewrites by morning."

"You're a good guy, Joker," Shepard reminded him, rising and backing out of the cockpit. "I have to get back to Omega. Comm channels are always on, you know that. Let me know if anything changes."

"Will do, Commander. Be safe down there," Joker called around his chair, waving as Shepard disappeared into the airlock corridor.

********

When Shepard arrived at the Blue Suns base, she was informed by the door sentry that Zaeed had been gone since that morning. "Did he say where he was headed?" she asked of the young human. He shook his head.

"We're all still trying to work our heads around everything, ma'am," he told her with a helpless shrug. "I mean, when Captain Samson was killed last night, things have been really screwy. No one here knew about Massani being one of the founders. He claimed Samson would've known, but it's a little late for confirmation now."

"It's not surprising. Zaeed told me Vido had erased him from the records twenty years ago," Shepard remarked grimly. "Surely you knew about him in the bounty hunter capacity?"

"Oh yes, ma'am!" the merc nodded quickly. "Some factions had their whole bases wiped out thanks to him. He's not someone I'd want coming after me. I guess we lucked out here, huh."

"You certainly did," Shepard murmured, narrowing her eyes thoughtfully. Where would he go? she wondered. She turned away from the sentry and touched her earpiece. "Zaeed?"

Static sounded briefly over the comm before he responded. "Something wrong, Shepard?"

"No," she admitted, glancing back at the sentry for a moment before putting more distance between them. "Had a little trouble on the ship, though. Something's not right, Zaeed. I don't like it."

"You mean aside from the bastard going around killing my mates?" Zaeed asked, a snarl in his voice.

"Yes, besides that. I don't think Tali or Garrus like what we're doing."

"They don't have to like what you're doing, Shepard. They just have to let you do it," Zaeed reminded her. "And if they don't? Well, there are ways to handle that as well."

"I'll go along with you to reclaim the Suns, Zaeed, but I'm not endangering my team any more than I already have," Shepard told him sharply.

"I don't expect you to," Zaeed reassured her. "I was just saying it could be taken care of it if it becomes a problem."

"I have enough guilt over my head without you suggesting more," Shepard replied, her voice weary. "I'm going to Afterlife. I have to ask Aria a few questions."

"That's where I am now. Lower level. Meet me at the bar when you're through. There's a few things we need to discuss."

"See you soon, then, Zaeed," Shepard flicked the comm silent, then sighed heavily. She looked back at the sentry by the door, offered him a small wave, then started back towards the upper levels of Omega.

********

Aria didn't seem surprised to see Shepard so soon, instead gesturing limply towards the other half of the couch when the other woman cleared the stairs. "Never a dull moment with you around, is there, Shepard?"

"I try to keep things interesting," Shepard remarked dryly, settling back against the comfortable sofa cushions. "Got a few questions for you. Feel like talking?"

"Maybe. What do you want to know?"

"One of my crew, a turian, claims to have come to you to thank you for the assistance with the Normandy. Have any turians been here recently?"

"After awhile, they all look the same to me, Shepard. You'll have to be more specific if you want an answer."

"Fair enough. It's Archangel. He says he came here and you gave him his helmet."

Aria turned sharply, leveling a pair of cold blue eyes on the other woman. "If that turian bastard ever showed his face in my club, I'd blast it off him myself. He caused enough trouble on my station; why would I make nice with him after that?"

"I didn't think you would, that's why I'm asking," Shepard said. "Also, have you heard anything about a rogue assassin on Omega recently?"

"How recently?" Aria asked, quirking a brow. "I get all kinds of people coming through here, assassin or otherwise."

"Have there been any reports on the Blood Pack or Eclipse possibly seeking to erase the Blue Suns influence on Omega?" Shepard asked, aiming for specifics again. "My companion witnessed an armored man kill the Blue Suns base captain here, Samson."

"Samson's dead? So those reports were true," Aria pursed her lips thoughtfully. "He was one of the nice ones. Most of the Suns are batarians and not very pleasant to deal with at all. Extend my condolences to your friend. Samson was a good man, for a human."

"Thank you, Aria. I'm sure he'll appreciate that," Shepard said.

"Was there anything else you needed?" Aria asked after a moment of silence. Shepard shook her head and rose. Aria followed her with her eyes as she started down the steps. "Before you go, Shepard, I have a question for you."

Shepard paused on the second step down and looked back at the asari. "Yes?"

"Your companion. He's that good man I told you to find, isn't he?" Aria's smile was smug. "I never thought you would have such a bedfellow, Shepard. I'm almost prepared to say I'm proud of you."

"I'll take that as a compliment, Aria, and bid you a good day," Shepard replied smoothly, turning and leaving the balcony to the retreating sounds of Aria's delighted laughter.

*******

As planned, Shepard found Zaeed perched at the bar, whiskey bottle at his arm and a small lake of brown liquid beneath his shot glass. She slid into the empty seat beside him, nudging his elbow with her own as she settled comfortably. He smiled at her and pushed a spare glass of the sour liqour her way. She took it back swiftly, coughing behind a hand as the liquid burned her throat.

"Does Aria know anything?" Zaeed asked, his voice raised above the din of pulsing techno rhythms around them. Shepard shook her head, pouring herself another shot of the strong whiskey. "Doesn't matter. I have my own sources and they all tell me to get the hell to the other bases before that assassin does."

"Have you found the others already?" Shepard was impressed. Zaeed nodded.

"Yeah, seems a bunch of them are stationed at some abandoned mines along the Terminus. Not unlike the ones we'd come against before."

"Does this mean we'll be leaving Omega without the Normandy?"

"You don't have to come," Zaeed told her, leaning in closer and speaking near her ear. "This is my fight, Shepard. You have your own here."

"I'm afraid I can't just let you run off, Massani," Shepard shook her head. He looked put out by her comment, offended at being told what he could or couldn't do. She smiled at him teasingly, touching his arm with her fingertips lightly. "I said I would help you with this and I will. You're stuck with me, bounty hunter."

"What about the Normandy?" Zaeed was grinning now despite his question.

"She's in good hands. No way Joker would let anything happen to her, trust me. Also, there's still so much work to be done on her, it'll be weeks, maybe even months, before she's ready to fly again."

Zaeed regarded her quietly, his good eye searching her face. Finally, he gave a single nod. "All right, Shepard, I'll let you come along. Not like that, though." He gestured at her N7 armor. Shepard looked down at herself, puzzled.

"What's wrong with my armor now?"

"It's obvious, that's what," Zaeed tapped her gauntlet pointedly. "You're obvious. There's not a man, woman, child, or whatever alive that doesn't know your face, Shepard."

"Are you suggesting facial reconstruction, Massani?" Shepard quipped. Zaeed helped himself to another shot of whiskey before responding.

"Never. Just new armor."

Shepard watched him down the shot, smiling at a bit when he grit his teeth against the burn. "You plan on taking me shopping, Massani?"

Zaeed fished out a cigarette case from his belt, retrieved one, and lit it. He took a few pulls, then shook his head. "Already have it picked out. Come on." He tugged at her arm as he slid off his stool, taking her with him. "Found it this morning while I was wandering around Archangel's old base." He led her down the stairs where the old recruitment base had been, nodding at the Blue Suns guard as they passed. "It's still in good condition, if you excuse the scorch marks on the shoulders."

"What's in good condition?" Shepard wanted to know, still being led further down into the dim series of tunnels. Zaeed didn't respond until they'd arrived at an underground apartment, whose door opened for the bounty hunter as though he'd always owned the place. Shepard slowed her steps to look about the apartment while Zaeed disappeared into an adjoining room. She heard the distinct clanking of armor being gathered, starting when Zaeed reappeared with a mass of blue and white metal plating in his arms. He presented this to her, standing back to cross his arms confidently as Shepard spread it out on a nearby table.

The segmented torso armor of a Blue Suns female mercenary fanned out amid the jumbled bits of arm. leg, and shoulder sections. Shepard regarded this "gift" with some skepticism. "You said you found this in the complex Garrus was in?"

"That's right."

"Tarak only had one female merc with him," Shepard remarked, her tone suggesting she'd figured out the mystery armor's source. "Tell me you didn't strip her corpse, Massani. That's just wrong."

Zaeed grinned a bit maliciously, then gave a careless shrug. "She was your size and it works for what we need now. Here. The helmet." He tossed it towards her. Shepard caught it and flipped it face-forward, a faint smile on her lips.

"You've got a quad, Massani," Shepard said with a low whistle. "I suppose I shouldn't argue a dead woman's armor. What's one more dead woman using it to her now?"

"That's the spirit."

Shepard smiled up at him. "So, what's the plan?"

"Should let you know there's two things I need to do while we're out there," Zaeed said, his tone more serious now as he walked over to her. "One is to save my mates from the assassin."

"And the second?"

Shepard felt the air around them grow cold when Zaeed's good eye met hers with such hatred within it, she shivered in spite of herself.

"I've found those six sons of bitches who held me down when Vido shot me," he told her coldly. "They're all a heat sink away from burning like he did."

Shepard nodded. "I won't begrudge you your revenge, Zaeed. I won't even be part of it." To emphasize her statement, she slipped the Blue Suns helmet over her head and down her face. Her voice was hollow when she spoke again. "To them, I'm just another merc. They'll never see me coming."

"That's my girl," Zaeed grinned, hooking his arm about her waist and pulling her close. Shepard flipped the faceplate up to accept the hard kiss Zaeed pressed to her lips. Zaeed hoisted Shepard into his arms and carried her into the bedroom, their lips still joined in a passionate, possessive kiss.