Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Chapter 3
((Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, only Alexandra.))
"Hello, Hagrid," I said brightly.
"Hullo," he grunted. "Yeh look a lil old to be a firs' year. Are you Alexandra?"
"Alex," I said with a smile.
"Nice ter meet yeh," he said with a huge grin. "D'ya like it here?" I nodded as I looked over at the castle.
"It's beautiful." It seems that I was the only one with the courage to speak with Hagrid.
"Alrigh'," he said as we reached a large glossy lake. "We're gettin' across by these here boats." He gestured to the large group of boats floating at the edge of the water. "There's four to a boat. Hurry up, now!" I followed him to the edge and joined him in his boat.
"All full here," he said to a first year who wanted to join us. "I coun' as three." The little boy looked taken aback and found another boat to get in. Hagrid did most of the work as we crossed the lake; I merely sat back and stared my breath taking surroundings. I smiled serenely, for my father was right. I felt Ben in my heart.
"Here we are," Hagrid said brightly. "Jus' follow me again." He led us through the vast grounds, pointing out different places along the way. "That there is the Herbology Greenhouse. And just bellow that is my house…" We finally entered a building and climbed some stairs, and waiting for up was an older woman with her hair in a tight bun.
"Hello," I said to her with a smile. She studied me reproachfully; I'm guessing that most new students didn't talk to her either.
"Are you Alexandra Faye?" she asked.
"Alex, and yes," I responded.
"How are you feeling? I heard about the train…?"
"Much better, thank you." She nodded at me with a hint of a smile.
"My name is Professor McGonagall, and I am the Transfiguration teacher here. I am also head of the Gryffindor house. In a few moments I will bring you inside the Great Hall where you will be sorted into houses. The houses here are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. I believe they are ready for us now," she cracked the door and peered inside. "Yes, they are. Okay, let's go." I followed her inside with the other first years. I gasped when I entered. It was very beautiful, the ceiling looked like the night sky, and there was rustic decor, such as large suits of armor. The students were all seated at very long tables. There were flags above each table, labeling them as one of the four houses. I scrutinized the Gryffindor table and realized that all of the people I had met were there, save Draco Malfoy. When we made it to the front of the room I noticed a raggedy old hat on a stool. The old seam opened up and the hat began to sing. After it finished its song Professor McGonagall pulled out a scroll.
"I will start with Alexandra Whitely first, seeing how she's an exchange student. Whitely, Alexandra Faye." I walked over to the stool, trying to feign confidence. She put the large hat on my head.
"Curious," whispered the hat in my ear. "You have so much wisdom and knowledge beyond your years…But no matter, the house you belong to is obvious. GRYFFINDOR!"I smiled at put the hat back on the stool. Fred and George were beckoning me to sit with them.
"Oh, Miss Whitely?" said Professor McGonagall from behind me. "Madam Pomfrey actually wanted to see you."
"Oh," I said and turned on my heel to face her. "Where is she?"
"Out in the hall waiting for you," she answered.
"Okay…" I replied. I made my way down the long hall as Professor McGonagall continued with names. A rather old and tired looking nurse was standing outside of the door looking furious.
"Here you are, dear," she said as she handed me a slab of chocolate. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," I answered.
"Do you know what happened on the train?" she asked, her eyes narrowing.
"I was diagnosed with PTSD three years ago," I explained. "I'm used to it. I'm completely fine, and I already had some chocolate." I almost felt the need to explode into the Great Hall and shout that at everyone. Maybe then I'd stop getting harassed.
"Oh, alright then. You look fine to me. I just hope you don't run into any more of those bloody beasts- excuse me. I think it's ridiculous that they're stationed here."
"I agree. Well I'd like to watch the rest of the sorting if that's okay."
"Yes dear, of course. If anything else happens come see me, okay?"
"Sure. Thank you!" I walked back into the Great Hall nibbling on my chocolate happily. I sat down next to one of the twins who said he was Fred. George and Lee were across from me and the entire time they were eyeing my chocolate hungrily. Feeling particularly compassionate, I broke off a generous chunk for each of them. They thanked me quietly and finished quickly. Finally the Sorting was over, and Dumbledore stood up. He briefly spoke about the rules, and then clapped his hands. Magically food appeared, covering the table with lavish sights and smells. Everybody dug in immediately, but I leaned back and really drank in the scene around me. I wished that Ben could be here with me. I could almost see the awe light his eyes, and then he would start shoveling the food in as well. I smiled lightly and began to eat some various pastas and puddings (the meatless ones of course) and I even noticed some faux meat products. I looked up to the teachers table and smiled at Dumbledore, who winked at me.
"Is that meat I see?" asked George as I took a bite. I shook my head.
"It's fake," I answered after I had finished up. Fred curiously cut himself a small piece and cringed.
"This is disgusting!"
"It tastes fine," I laughed, his face was still screwed up in horror.
"No, it doesn't! Honestly woman, why do you torture yourself like this?"
"I'm not torturing myself!" I gasped. He gave me a reproachful look.
"Look, tomorrow you should go to the kitchens. Just find a painting of a bowl of fruit, tickle the pear, it laughs and then it opens. Ask the house elves to make you a steak. Nobody would see you, nobody would know."
"I'm almost offended!"
"Almost is key," he said laughing. I rolled my eyes and continued to eat the faux meat.
"Y'know, I sort of feel bad for Sirius Black," George said. "Those dementors were horrible."
"Yeah," agreed Fred. "I'd kill myself." My eyes flashed at them angrily.
"Really?" I asked in a deadly sweet voice.
"It'd be better than living!" I calmly pulled out my wand and charmed a dish of peas to fly and attack Fred. I pushed away from the table.
"Excuse me," I said politely as I ran to the doors angrily. I don't know where I was going; I was just walking around the school aimlessly, trying to blow off steam. How dare he say that after finding out about my brother? What kind of insensitive ass would do that?
"Oooh, a student running around the castle! Heehee! What fun!" yelled somebody from above me. "Peeves knows all about you! You're the girl everybody is talking about, the crazy one!"
"I'm not crazy!" I snapped as I slid down a wall and sat down. No sense in getting myself more lost.
"Ooh, but you were the one who started screaming and talking to yourself when a dementor came! You are crazy! And you know what? Nobody wants you here! When you least expect it they'll chuck you out!"
"Go to hell. Peeves, was it?" He nodded and smiled a horrible twisted smile. "D'you know where we are and how to get to the Gryffindor common room?" He nodded again and smiled even bigger.
"Just down those stairs over there. Take a left at the statue of the hunchback lady and use 'Alohamora' on the lock."
"I bet that leads me to some terrible place."
"You don't trust me?"
"Sorry, no."
"Heehee good choice!" Peeves then decided it'd be a good idea to start throwing every object in reach at me.
"Ouch! Stop!" I yelled. "I'll tell Dumbledore!"
"I don't care! Heehee!" He danced around me once he ran out of things to throw, making obscene gestures and making obnoxious faces. To his disappointment, I didn't react. He was like a small child looking for attention, when I ignored him he finally gave up and left me alone. I stared at my feet sadly, feeling extremely frustrated and alone.
"Alex! There you are!" called a voice that was too familiar to me at this point. "I'm so sorry! I'll show you the kitchens and then the common room, you can eat all the nasty fake meat you want!" I sighed.
"You honestly think that's why I got so pissed off?"
"Well… yeah. What else did I say?" I got to my feet quickly.
"You are SO STUPID! God, just leave me alone, will you?"
"Wha…Why?" he asked. The look on his face told me that he was honestly confused.
"Because you're an insufferable, insensitive idiot! I would hex you and then run if it weren't for the fact that I'm completely lost!"
"What did I say?" he asked.
"Oh my god," I muttered as I looked away.
"Seriously! I was just talking about Sirius Black and then- oh. I'm sorry, it never even crossed my mind!"
"Which is why you are an insensitive idiot."
"I'm really sorry, I don't know what else to say. Let's go back to the common room."
"Okay then," I said icily. We walked along awkwardly, the silence driving me crazy. "I'm sorry I over reacted," I said finally.
"It's okay."
"You're still mad, huh?"
"I'm not mad," he answered with a grin. "I was insensitive." I smiled back at him, glad that he wasn't angry.
"Thanks."
"You see that painting over there?" he said as we turned a corner. He pointed to a portrait of a bowl of fruit.
"That's the kitchens?"
"Yup." Suddenly I had an epiphany, and it involved salty pancakes. We finally made it to a portrait of an obese woman in a horrible pink dress.
"Fortuna Major," Fred said.
"Correct," the portrait said with a smile as she swung open. "Welcome to Hogwarts."