Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Chapter 5
((Once again, I do not own any of the characters except for Alexandra. I feel obliged to put this in every chapter, so….yeah.))
This chapter is dedicated to Melinda… though she doesn't go on here.
Professor Trelawney was a fraud. I sat lazily at a round table next to the twins and Lee, trying to ignore all of the dire predictions she was throwing out like candy. It seemed everybody was in grave danger and will have a horrible and miserable year at Hogwarts.
"I…I feel such a strong connection over here!" Trelawney said as she stopped by our crowded table dramatically.
"Wow guys, no matter how lonely you get twincest isn't the answer!" I joked loudly, and muffled sniggers followed.
"Sorry, we didn't know. Glad you cleared that up," Fred said, not looking embarrassed in the slightest.
"You're welcome. You wouldn't want to be cast out of society or anything," I replied, making sure my face was completely serious looking.
"Oh, gosh. You're right. Thanks again!" We stared at each other for a moment and then burst into hysterics. She ignored our back and forth and was instead studying me with great interest.
"Yes…such a strong connection. Do you mind if I give you a tarot card reading?"
"Uh…no? I don't mind." (Sorry, I tried looking up how you actually do a reading but was unsuccessful…so here is my attempt.) She bustled over to a table covered in random trinkets and pulled out a deck of cards. I pulled three out of the deck like she instructed and laid it on the table in front of me.
"Okay. The first card symbolizes your past…" I flipped it over to see The Fool. My face blazed when I saw it, Fool didn't look good to me. "Ahh…" she said quietly, and my face reddened more. "The Fool symbolizes a new beginning, and starting fresh. Has anything like that happened in your past?"
"Well when my brother passed I took a lot of therapy and sort of discovered myself. I got treated for my disorder and for depression, and it was like getting reborn as somebody else."
"I see…the next card represents your present." I turned it over and saw The Tower. I had no idea what to think.
"The Tower represents change, such as you moving and starting a new school. Whether or not it will be a good change or a bad change depends on the last card, which is your future. I flipped it eagerly to see The Lovers. My face fell.
"The Lovers…I'm sure you can figure that one out for yourself. May I ask what your sign is?"
"Gemini, I believe. But I never took the time to look it up."
"Gemini, the sign of the Twins. How very interesting." Quiet laughter buzzed around the room again. "Well Miss Whitely, it's in the stars and it's in the cards. May I look in your tea dredges?"
"Why not," I sighed. This was getting quite obnoxious. She pulled out a china saucer and poured some tea in it. I swallowed quickly, desperate to get the reading over with.
"Swirl it three times to the right… Ahh. Okay." I handed the cup for her to read.
"The Sun. You have great happiness coming." I was shocked. I was sure I'd get some horrible figure in my cup, predicting death or something. The girls in the room were eyeing me jealously, for they all had bad omens and energy I suppose. A few girls began whispering angrily.
"Oh shut up over there," I snapped, starting to get pissed about how stupid this class was. "Honestly, if she says I'm going to have a great day I will look for all the little good things and disregard the bad. But if she said I would have a bad day it'd be totally opposite. There is no such thing as good or bad days, its all about how you take it. Think positively and even the bad things can be very educational and beneficial. Think negatively and you'll pick at every little thing that went wrong and ignore the good. That's just how life is."
"There are some things that just can't be good. Like your brother dying and you having PTSD. How can that be good?" one of the girls asked, looking angry and upset. She stared at me like I was a lying hypocrite.
"Its really sad that he's gone but he's taught me so many things. Everything that happened has made me a stronger and wiser person. Every time I have an episode I push myself to fight it. I challenge my abilities and try and see just how capable I am to handle myself. I am a different and better person now because I can fight all that happened and can still be happy about what I have. I just feel bad for people like my brother who couldn't win the battle. He held on as long as he could, but he was sick. And I'm proud of him for staying as long as he did. By the way, I'm dropping this class," I said to Trelawney. "It's just not my subject. Can you give me directions to the hospital wing?" She looked completely and utterly appalled. She nodded at me slowly and scribbled some directions on a piece of parchment.
"Thank you," I said crisply as I took it from her. "And thanks for the readings. Bye everybody." I heard some cheering erupt from inside the class as I began walking down her magical staircase. I smiled to myself and hoped that my speech would spread around the school as well, because Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder doesn't run my life. I won't let it. The long winding staircase seemed to take longer to walk down then it did to walk up, actually. But that's probably because before I was with the twins and Lee. And with them there never was a dull moment. I smiled as I remembered the strange and hilarious conversations we had. I looked down at the directions once I got out of the door and followed them closely. As I turned down a different corridor I was Peeves knocking over suits of armor.
"Oooh look, it's the crazy girl!" I rolled my eyes and ignored him as he followed me around shouting "Mental girl coming through! Watch out!" It was easier than I thought. He gave up as I finally arrived at the Hospital Wing. He floated away cackling and returned to his suits of armor. I stuffed the directions into my bag as I entered. Madam Pomfrey was looking in the mirror with her wand pointed at her hair. She waved her wand and half an inch of hair was severed and fell to the floor. She brushed her hair looking satisfied. She magically swept the hair on the ground into a trash can.
"Excuse me? Madam Pomfrey?" I said quietly as I took a few more steps into the room.
"Oh, sorry dear. Just giving myself a bit of a trim. It's empty in here today. So what seems to be the problem?"
"Nothing, its just Professor McGonagall told me I can help out in here, and I dropped Divination so I figured now would be the perfect time."
"Oh, that's right. Alex, is it?" I nodded. "Well, it's empty in here right now, so I guess it's the perfect time to give you a tour." She showed me around the different wings, some for overnights, some for extended stays, and some for day use. There was also a waiting room stocked with little snacks and drinks for worried friends. All in all it was a very good hospital.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked slowly as an idea popped into my head.
"Sure, dear."
"It's sort of a favor."
"Well, what is it?"
"Do you think you can cut my hair for me? I know the spell for it, but I'm afraid I'll mess up."
"It'd be no problem at all!" she answered with a motherly smile. She pointed her wand at my head. "Just tell me what you want." And I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted something completely different, something less plain, and edgy. I wanted something that just screamed me.
"Crop it," I said confidently with a grin. "Crop it boyishly short, but with femininity." She smiled back at me.
"Sounds great," she answered. I closed my eyes as she waved her wand. I felt all of my long hair fall off of my head, and I felt hair brush the left side of my forehead. I had side-bangs. I opened my eyes and pat my head curiously. The hair was long enough that it curled slightly at the ends, but it didn't stick out like a boy's haircut would. I felt my bangs, and they were brushed to the side, and was just long enough to hook around my ear. I ran next to a mirror and admired it happily. I felt like my appearance finally matched up with who I was.
"I just wish I had a nose piercing!" I mused with a smile, my amber eyes twinkling brightly.
"Oh wow, how lucky!" Madame Pomfrey said from behind me. "There was a 7th year last year that tried to pierce her own nose and messed up horribly. I confiscated all of her studs and sterilized them, but she never claimed them and is gone now. Would you like me to pierce it for you? You can have all of the studs, too."
"Yes!" I nearly screamed. I had wanted a nose piercing for a long time, but had never asked my dad for one.
"Think of it as a thank you present. You know, for helping out." I was so happy I thought I would explode. She walked into her office and said "Accio, Studs!" A little zippered bag zoomed out from a drawer and flew into her hand. "What colour would you like?"
"Gold, please." I refrained from jumping up and down, but just barely. She did a simple spell and handed me a golden stud to put in. The gold matched my hair nicely and brought out the golden flecks in my eyes.
"You look lovely, dear," said Madame Pomfrey.
"Thank you sooo much!" I squealed.
"It's no problem. The classes are about to change. Here's directions to your Defense Against the Dark Arts class. I'll see you at this time tomorrow." She answered as she handed me a parchment. It was more detailed and easier to read than Professor Trelawney's.
"Thank you!" I said excitedly, still not over my great luck. "I'll see you!" I left the room with my nose in the parchment. I wondered as I smiled to myself whether or not my friends would recognize me. I decided happily that they wouldn't, and my mind whirled with the possibilities that the next class presented.