2. Delusional
"Hey, Lulu. Looking good."
Present day, and I'm fresh out of another Phase. Felix is unlocking my Phase cell. "Hey, brother." I wouldn't deny that I found the brawny bloodsucker attractive, but staying casual with him was easy. I smiled at him, walking out of the little cell. "That was brutal," I mumbled, popping one of my shoulders back in.
"You remembered another Phase?" he asked with apparent excitement.
I wasn't sure if we were speaking my language or his, but I replied, "I am human when the sun is out, brother. Do you honestly think I spend all my time sleeping? Remembering is easy when you are locked in such a small space." I rubbed my shoulder. "I really have to stop trying to bust out. One of these days, I'll break a bone."
"You still don't have control. Bummer." Felix's disappointed crimson eyes burned into my mine.
"It's not that I don't want to have control, Felix. I just have to be in the correct mental state when I Phase, then it hurts and I lose whatever shard of humanity I'm grasping. When I remember, it's like I was just watching."
Felix had no understanding of my kind, but he always seemed empathic. He smiled, and helped me pop the other shoulder into place. "Aro…"
"Wants to see me. I know." Aro was hardly the father figure I imagined and alpha of my kind being, but he tried and kept Caius from killing me. "I better go before Caius pulls the ungrateful card. See you later?"
Felix kissed my forehead. "Yep. Watch yourself, though."
--
"Felix and you have developed quite a friendship," Aro said, dropping my hand.
"Yes, sire." I knew he knew both my and Felix's points of view, but he was being polite enough to let me ask the question aloud. "There's something wrong with the idea, isn't there?"
Aro took my hand again and patted it. "Sweet little Luna, I know you do not mean to be what you are. I have no problems with you having feelings for Felix. Of course, I will leave it up to the two of you to discover if the feelings are mutual."
Marcus stepped in at that second and briefly touched Aro's other hand. I dipped my head, mostly because I didn't know how Marcus felt about my place in the coven. "Hello, Luna," he said, bored.
"Hello, sire," I whispered, stepping back. "Would you like me to step out?"
They both gave me the affirmative.
--
Felix ignored me for the rest of the month, and it was getting annoying. On the eighth day of my Felix-withdrawal, he did manage to give me an order. It was not like Felix at all to order me around. He was more like an older brother then a superior, and he was the only one that bothered to treat me like an equal.
It was clear that the feelings were not mutual and I was bummed. I opened my English primer, and settled in to learn my third language. Aro insisted I be taught as much as possible, simply because I had to seem like I was one of them to an outsider.
Not that I had met any outsiders. Whenever one showed up, I was hustled into my room or occasionally my cell. They meant humans, but the human who came here never came back or worked here. The employees knew what I was in one way or another.
Someone knocked on my door. "Cell time!"
It was Demetri, not Felix, but I hauled myself to my feet. Demetri grabbed my bicep. "I don't need man-handled, sire."
He dropped my arm. "Felix may have mentioned that." We started down several sets of stairs.
"You talked to Felix?" I sounded more hopeful then I should have.
"He told me just before he left." I tilted my head a little, but Demetri spoke before I could venture the question. "He doesn't want you to know where he went."
I let out the breath I had been holding. "That is perplexing."
Demetri pushed me into the cell. "But he said he'll be here to let you out."
I didn't believe him.
--
I opened my eyes and was staring at a little black paw. I was in my wolf form and I was in control. Who would have thought heartbreak was the emotion I needed to gain control? I had no desire to get up, let alone throw myself against the bars. At any other time, it would be amusing to know what I looked like in this form, but Felix had me feeling horrible.
Damn the stupid bloodsucker for being so freaking desirable! If only I was a plain old human! I butted my head against the wall hard enough to break a few bricks. I was such an idiot! How could I have thought I was his equal? Was I really that delusional?
I yowled in frustration. Even as a human, I wouldn't have the words to describe my immense hurt. Felix was lucky I didn't know where he was, I was about ready to discover if my human intellect would get me out of here. It was weird, having wolf-senses. I would have sworn I could smell Felix but I couldn't see color. I could have been dark brown for all I knew.
"Hey, Lulu."
Great, now I was hearing him? I really was delusional.
"I know you will not remember what I'm about to say, but Aro says I cannot keep this from you for long. I consider it practice for when you'll confront me. It will happen eventually."
Get on with it, boy, I thought furiously. Before you bore me to death.
"Some of guard keeps telling me I'll find a mate and to get my mind off you, but I can't stop thinking about you. There's something about the way you look. Wide, wild eyes that are an indescribable color. Deep brown hair, the weakness you show when you're human. There's no hint of the monster you are.
"I don't want to say this. It's not logical or sane. I know you're the lowest of the low, even lower then humans, but I'm in love with you, Luna. I am absolutely in love with you. You're beautiful, strong, naïve, dark… I wish there was someway you could stop me from making a fool of myself right now…"
I whimpered a little and he came to the cell. "Are you hurt?" he asked. "Usually, you are wild."
I walked up to the cell door and looked at him, daring him to discover that I did understand and that Luna was in control. All he did was pat my head. "See you once the moon is out again, Lulu."