He wanted to avenge his family,to obtain the mangekyo, to prove that he was better. It was funny how his deepest desire, how his fucking ambition turned against him. It wasn't suppose to be like that, That man should have died and it should have made him feel good, acomplished,complete. But he ended up hurting himself and those around him. It seemed to him that that was everything he could do, hurt and break. Even as a child, when his world wasn't yet tainted, he never quite managed to be nice or careful, he always broke every single thing. And this time there was noone to fix it for him, to fix the toy he broke in a fit of rage, to fix the kunai he damaged with careless training, to fix the hearts he broke with hurting words, to fix him.
Everything was so backwards, and now... now he was alone, He had died and fucking left him alone. He was always there for him, and he, as a brat, never noticed, always wanted more and more. He couldn't see the extent He went for him because, as always, he was too blind, too self-centered, it had never even occured to him that He could be innocent, he just hated Him oh so much it hurt at times, but at the same time the more hate he had for Him, more he remembered of all the times they had togheter, when they were still a family. The same family he yearned to avenge, the same family he destroyed.
He had what he wanted, That man had died. He was finally the strongest. He did what everyone thought impossible. But why did it hurt so much? Why did it have to come with a price? Why didn't anyone tell him that this wouldn't help his pain one bit?...oh...that's right...they did...he was just too fucking stupid to listen, thinking that they knew nothing of what was going on, they knew nothing of how he felt. He wondered what would happen if he went back right now, what would they do? How would they react? And then, reality came back to him and he realized that he couldn't, that he wouldn't, put them in danger, not again, not this time. He was going to make things right, put others first for the first time in his life.
He avenged his old family, but lost his new one in the process, he proved that he was better...physically, but not emotionally, spiritually. He obtained the mangekyo sharingan, but lost his best friend, his brother, his everything while doing it. Now he was going to do what everyone else wanted. And in a flash he was gone, never to come back.