This has got to be one of my, if not my very, very favorite chapter I have written thus far. Also the longest, until the next chapter because that one turned out longer, but I didn't know that when I wrote this chapter, so yeah...Whoops. Anyway, hope ya'll enjoy.

VillageVoice

The days in Paris had come and gone and all Abby had to show for it were a ton of pictures of other people and the memories of some really weird dreams. She had waited and sat at the Eiffel Tower night after night waiting for something that never came, so she decided that tonight would be her final night at Eiffel Tower. In the morning she would fly home and figure things out from there.

"Bonjour mademoiselle. Would you like to go up into zee tower today? We are closing soon, but I think we could squeeze you in if you would like."

Abby smiled, looking up at the tower. "No, thank-you." The man nodded and went off in search of someone else. She had gone to the very top several times already. She would be good for the next few decades. Abby looked up at the tower one last time. "This is it." She turned and walked away, sitting down on the bench she had come to be quite good friends with in the past few days. She pulled out a book and made herself comfortable. "And now we wait."

Tonight, however, the old man/Gibbs's tracker goon and his 'wife' never showed up. In fact, there were not nearly half of the people there as there were in previous nights. Not that Abby minded. She generally liked being alone. As the sun went down and Abby could no longer read the words in her book, she put it aside and set herself with waiting for the first star to appear so that she could make her wish and leave.

The sound of someone laughing filled Abby's ears. She looked over her shoulder and saw a little girl with long dark curls spinning herself dizzy and laughing as she fell over and over. Abby couldn't help but laugh herself. It had been so long since she had gained so much pleasure from something so small. She turned to dig her camera out of her bag, but once she got it out the little girl was gone. Not a trace of her anywhere. Abby walked over to where she had fallen, but the grass wasn't even pressed. It was completely unaffected as if the little girl had never been there at all. With a sigh Abby returned to the bench. Maybe she was spending too much time sleeping. Her body wasn't used to it so it was interpreting the recent overindulgence of sleep as a toxin, making her see things that were not there.

"I am losing it."

"Do not be ridiculous Abby."

Abby sat up straight, a chill running up her spine. She felt someone sit down beside her, but didn't dare look for fear that this was about as real as the little girl.

"You never had it to begin with. . . Not that I even know what 'it' is."

Abby took a few deep breaths, but her eyes remained trained on an invisible spot straight ahead of her.

"Are you not going to look at me Abby?"

Abby shook her head. "You're not real. I've been getting too much sleep and not enough Caf-Pow and my brain is making me see and hear things that aren't there. First the little girl, and now you-"

"That little girl?" The owner of the voice asked and Abby turned her head slightly to see who she was talking about. Sure enough, there was the little girl she had seen earlier with long curly dark hair and a blue dress dancing and twirling around.

"She's real?"

"Yes. Her name is Cassandra. I spoke to her parents on the way here. They're from California, but Cassandra has not yet adjusted to the time difference, so they have spent much of the night trying to . . . tire her out, yes?"

Abby nodded slowly. "So if she's real, then . . . then that means that you're real?" She ignored the lone tear that slipped down her pale cheek. "But you're dead." She whispered.

Ziva smiled and brought her hand to Abby's cheek. "Do I feel dead Abby?"

Abby's eyes fluttered closed and she leaned into the touch. A few more tears fell, but she held them back as best she could. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't cry because if this was a dream it would hurt too much to accept it as real and then learn the truth. "But you can't be real."

Ziva brought her other hand to the other side of Abby's face and forced the Goth woman to look at her. "I am real Abby. And I am alive. But if you wish, I can walk away and you can pretend that I am really dead and that this was nothing more than a dream or a product of too much sleep and not enough Caf-Pow."

Abby grabbed Ziva's wrist as the Israeli dropped her hand from the forensic scientist's cheek. She quickly wrapped her arms around Ziva and pulled her in as close as humanly possible. "No Ziva, don't go. Please don't go." She sobbed. "I can't lose you again, please"

Ziva removed Abby's arms from around her and wrapped her arms around the crying woman so that she was holding Abby instead. She held Abby close and rubbed soothing circles over her lower back. "Shh . . . I will not go anywhere Abby. I promise you." She placed a gentle kiss on the other woman's temple. "Shh…I promise."

They stayed like that for a long time, wrapped in one another's arms crying more tears than they thought they had enough water in their bodies to support. At some point it started to rain, but neither noticed. Too focused on the feel of the other in their arms and the feel of the other's arms around them. When they finally did pull away both were well near soaked, so getting out of the rain at that point wouldn't even matter.

"Why?" Abby questioned, looking deep into Ziva's dark eyes. They were just as she remembered. Cold and deadly when they needed to be, yet always warm and loving whenever she looked into them.

"I had to get away from Mossad. There was no other way but for me to die. I had to wait for the right time. My father rarely let me out of his sight for the first year I was back in Israel. This trip to Lebanon was the first time he was letting me travel out of the country for an assignment without a small group of guards. It was the perfect opportunity." She explained. "I am sorry that it took me so long Abby." She placed her hands on either side of Abby's face and pulled her in for a gentle kiss that quickly turned more passionate. Each pouring all the longing they had felt over the past eighteen months into the kiss. "I have missed you more than you can know."

Abby brought Ziva in for another kiss. This one slow, tender and loving. "Oh I know." She chuckled, leaning her forehead against the Israeli's. "I know. I never want to be away from you again Ziva David."

After a minute Ziva pulled away. "I am so stupid." She muttered under her breath.

"What? Why?" Abby questioned, not letting Ziva pull away too far. "What's wrong?"

"I should not have come here. It was selfish of me. I wanted to see you and I want more than anything for you to come with me, but you cannot."

"Why?"

"Because this is my mess and I must deal with it, but you Abby . . . you have a life and a family, friends, people who will miss you when you are gone. I do not. No one will miss me if I spend the next year or two on the run and in hiding." Abby tried to interrupt, but Ziva held up her hand. "It would be selfish of me to ask you to come."

"First of all, you didn't ask me." Abby stood up and took a few steps away from the bench. She turned back to Ziva. "And second of all, there is no way I'm leaving here without you or that you're leaving here without me. We do things together, remember?"

Ziva sighed. "I thought you might say that."

Abby backed away. "And I'm not going to eat or drink anything you give me so don't even think about drugging me again."

Ziva smiled. "I thought you might say that too."

"Then what are we going to do?" Abby asked with a shrug of her shoulders.

Ziva stood, grabbed Abby's face with her hands and brought the taller woman for a kiss that spoke volumes to the long months they had been apart. Abby pulled away when she could taste Ziva's tears through the rain and looked expectantly at Ziva. Ziva smiled and kissed Abby again. "I have missed you so much."

That was all it took for Abby to lose it . . . again. She brought Ziva back into the kiss until neither had anymore breath left in their body and then once they took a breath she brought Ziva back in until neither woman could stay that way any longer. She wrapped her arms tightly around Ziva's neck, burying her face in Ziva's hair and inhaling the familiar scent. "I love you."

Ziva wrapped her arms around Abby and pulled her close. "I love you too."

They stayed locked in each other's embrace for a few minutes more until curiosity got the best of Abby and she pulled back to look at Ziva. "Really though . . . what are we going to do?"

"I need to stay low for a while. Once things relax up?" She frowned, that didn't sound right. "Once things relax – rest . . . loosen, no . . . Once things-"

"Ease."

"Yes thank-you. Once things ease up I can return to-"

"We." Abby corrected.

"We" Ziva smiled. "We can return to America."

Abby nodded. "What do we do until then?"

Ziva took Abby by the hand and led her over to a nearby water fountain under a full tree that would protect them from the rain – not that it mattered as they were both already soaked through to the bone, and sat the Goth down on the edge. She pulled two passports out of her back pocket and handed one to Abby as she sat down. "Until then, we travel. You always used to say how you wished that you had the time to and now we do." Abby opened the thin booklet and looked up at Ziva. "Of course I had to use a different name. Your identity is most likely under surveillance now as you were the closest relationship I had in America. They will want to make sure I really am dead and did not try to contact you."

Abby smiled and looked back down at the passport. "Kaitlyn Shepherd." She smiled up at Ziva. The Mossad agent had covered all her bases. Changed the spelling of both Kate's first name and Jenny's last name to dodge anyone who might be searching their names as possible aliases. "I'm not even going to ask how you got me an American passport."

Ziva chuckled. "It is best you do not. I would not want to tell you anything I would have to kill you for, Kate."

Abby smirked and took the other passport from Ziva's hand. "Sophia Rainier. Cleaver."

Ziva shrugged nonchalantly, taking back her passport. "I had to differ it slightly. Sophie Ranier was already a name I have used, and she is dead so that may have presented a slight problem."

Abby nodded. "Probably. At least you speak Spanish. I hardly think a Chilean passport would do you any good if you couldn't speak a word of Spanish."

Ziva smirked. "Si."

"Although Rainier is French."

Ziva shrugged and stood up, holding her hand out to Abby. "Good thing I speak French too then, yes?"

Abby laughed, a real full-bellied laugh she hadn't laughed in months. She took Ziva's hand and stood up. She placed a gentle kiss on Ziva's lips and looked deep into her dark eyes. "Yes."

Ziva pulled away. "I have one question. . . The babies?" Abby furrowed her brow in confusion. "I saw pictures of you and a man with two infants."

Abby smiled and laughed, leaning back in to wrap her arms around Ziva's neck. "Oh Ziva I so hope that is the biggest of our problems." She pulled back and quickly kissed Ziva before explaining. "The man is my brother. He and his wife just had twins and I've been spending a lot of time with them. Brian and I take Ryan and Brendan out so Jillian can have a break and spend some alone with Becca. Sometimes Becca comes, but not really. She isn't adjusting too well to the boys, so she gets to spend some alone time with her mom."

Ziva wrapped her own arms back around Abby. "I am so glad."

"Did you think I would do that to you?"

"No." Ziva shook her head. "But when I was in Israel with my father telling me these things I di not want to hear, never mind believe, day after day it is hard to not at least question things. We were so far apart and I had no contact with you. I am sorry Abby. For doubting you."

Abby shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't imagine you in Israel or somewhere on a mission with someone else at least once or twice, hoping you weren't using sex as an interrogation technique. Especially since I know how good you are at it." She joked.

Ziva looked away and Abby's happy bubble burst. "Abby I had no choice." She apologized. No tears fell this time. In their place Ziva's eyes were dry, but cold. She was the hardened Mossad officer once again. "It was only once." She lowered her voice to barely above a whisper. "And I cried the entire time." She looked back up at Abby. "That is why I had to leave. I was given specific orders to sleep with the target I was headed to see in Lebanon. I could not do that to you." She turned away. "Not again."

Abby looked over at the river, the beautiful lights of Paris reflecting off its still waters. Ziva was here with her now - that was what mattered. That was all that mattered. Everyone has done things on the job that they didn't want to and weren't proud of. Just because Ziva's involved her sleeping with someone else didn't mean she wanted to nor that it meant anything. She did what she had to do to do her job and to survive. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

"If you want to go back to the hotel, grab your things and take your flight back home I will understand. No one ever has to know you saw me."

Abby wiped her face and took Ziva's hand. "I meant what I said." She began in a shaky voice. "There is no way I am leaving here without you." Ziva's façade fell and Abby took a visibly broken Ziva into her arms. She held Ziva as tight as she could as they both cried. "You did what you had to. You kept up this charade of being back with Mossad as long as you had to to be able to get away. If you didn't do it you wouldn't have had to fake your death because you would have already been dead."

Ziva nodded and pulled away, looking up at Abby. "I am so sorry Abby."

Abby reached over and wiped the tears from Ziva's eyes with the pads of her thumbs, bringing her swollen face closer until their lips touched in a barely there kiss. "Tell me how it happened."

Ziva pulled away took a deep breath. "I was in Russia on assignment. We were tracking this terrorist cell." She cut out a bunch of minor details. There was nothing to be gained by telling Abby how many people she had killed in that single afternoon. "We thought we had them all, but then there was one man we thought was in Germany, but he ah . . . he was not. We were in a warehouse . . . it was stupid. I should have gone back and rechecked everywhere." She sighed. "But I didn't. I . . . I didn't see him. He hit me over the head with something, I do not know what-"

"Wait," Abby interrupted softly . "You didn't do it willingly?"

"No. Did you think I would?"

Abby shrugged. "I-I don't know. I thought it was part of the job. Something you don't necessarily want to do, but you put a smile on and do it anyway."

"Trust me Abby" Ziva looked away. "I was not smiling."

"Were you…" Abby reached forward and took Ziva's hands. "Were you awake for any of it?"

Ziva nodded. "Most of it. I woke up and he was already . . . And I was strapped to the bed . . . I should have fought. Abby I am so sorry."

"Ziva stop saying that you're sorry. None of this is your fault. I should be saying I'm sorry for doubting you." She brought Ziva back into her arms and held her as tightly as she could. She should have known better than to ever doubt Ziva. Her heart broke for what Ziva had gone through. She pulled away and looked deep into Ziva's eyes. "I love you. You did what you had to do to survive, none of it is your fault and I love you." She kept repeating this to Ziva like a bad theme song, not stopping until Ziva had cried herself out and was finally starting to believe it.

"What are we going to do about Gibbs?" Abby asked, coming out of the bathroom once they had gotten back to the hotel room, showered - separately, and changed into dry clothes.

"I am not going to do anything." Ziva replied as she sat down on the bed, rubbing lotion onto her legs.

"Ziva" Abby whined.

"Yes?"

"He's not just going to let me disappear. I'm his favorite." Abby said, plopping herself down next to Ziva on the bed.

Ziva chuckled and pulled Abby close. "Yes I know." Not that Abby was anywhere near complaining, but Ziva had never really been this touchy-feely. Now she couldn't go five minutes without touching Abby. As if reassuring herself that she was really there, that they were really together again. Eighteen months was a long time and Abby was beginning to realize it was a long time for someone to change. But as long as Ziva was in the cuddly mood the forensic scientist had every intention of taking full advantage of it.

Abby smiled. "Not your favorite, Gibbs's favorite."

"I know that too." Ziva chuckled again.

"Ziva?"

"Yes Abby?"

Abby snuggled into Ziva's embrace. "We really need to tell Gibbs."

"No." Ziva pulled away and faced Abby. "Under no circumstances is anyone to know that I am alive. It is too dangerous Abby. It could get both of us killed."

Abby chuckled. "As in really dead this time, killed?" She joked.

"Yes." Ziva replied in all seriousness.

Abby nodded and pulled Ziva back so that she could cuddle into her embrace again. "Okay." She began. "I won't tell Gibbs or McGee or Tony or Ducky, or anyone or . . . Gibbs." She sighed. "But I need to tell him something."

Ziva nodded in agreement. "He will be suspicious otherwise, yes?"

Abby nodded against Ziva's shoulder.

Ziva wrapped her other arm around Abby. "When is your flight?"

"In the morning." Abby yawned.

"Then you will call him in the morning, after your flight. Tell him you have decided to lengthen your trip to a few other countries, but you do not know which ones yet nor how long you will be away. Tell him that you will call him once a week to let him know how you're doing. Sound good, yes?" She looked down at Abby to see the forensic scientist sound asleep. She planted a gentle kiss on her hairline and answered her own question. "Yes."

"Gibbs!"

Gibbs moved the phone away from his ear a second too late. It sounded like Abby had her morning dose of caffeine already. He sat up and squinted across the room to make out the time on the clock. He groaned and attempted to rub some of the sleep from his eyes. "Abby, do you have any idea what time it is?"

Abby smirked. "Yeah. Do you?"

Gibbs smirked. "It's time for me to be sleeping."

Abby chuckled. It was just like Gibbs to throw her own words back at her. "How are my little Gibblets?"

He resisted asking that since they were Gibblets, wouldn't they be his and not hers? But it was too early and he would never, ever say 'Gibblets.' He stood up and tucked the rollaway bed he had slept on under his workbench and looked over at the two air mattresses by the stairs that McGee and Tony had occupied. They were empty, so he climbed the stairs and found his team, heads down in their coffee around the table. "Oh, they're . . ."

"Completely hung over?" Abby finished.

Gibbs looked at the two men before him. "You talk to McGee last night?"

"I talked to McGee last night."

Gibbs walked over to where the coffee pot sat on the counter and poured himself a cup. It was strong, just how he liked it. It wasn't Starbucks, but it would get rid of the pounding in their collective heads. "Whats up Abs? Doesn't your flight leave soon?"

Abby reached over and laced her fingers with Ziva's, taking whatever comfort from Ziva that she could with the fact that she was about to lie to her . . . to Gibbs. "It already left."

"You're in the air?"

"I missed the flight."

Gibbs took a sip of the coffee and coughed. Maybe it was a bit stronger than his original sip had indicated. Sure to knock the remaining alcohol out of anyone's system. "When's the next one out?"

"Actually Gibbs, I'm not coming back for a while. You know that I believe there is a reason for everything, and I wasn't-I'm not ready to go back yet."

"You believe you missed the flight for a reason?" Gibbs asked, not sure he was understanding. More often than not it wasn't exactly easy to follow where Abby was going with things, especially after a night of drinking, albeit light drinking, and when he had barely touched his first coffee.

"Yes. It was a sign Gibbs."

"A sign?" He questioned. He'd bite. "A sign of what Abs?"

"A sign that I shouldn't go back yet." Ziva kissed Abby's cheek and squeezed her hand. She knew how hard this was for Abby. "I'm going to spend more time traveling. There are quite a few countries I still want to see and I should do that now while I have the time. Because when I go back I start my new job and it could be a long time before I'm given the time off to do this again. I don't think I'll be able to do all the things I can now if I take this trip after I retire." She put her hand over the receiver and whispered to Ziva, "I hate doing this."

"I'm sorry. You can go back."

Abby squeezed Ziva's hand reassuringly. "I would hate living without you even more." She leaned over and gave Ziva a soft, quick kiss on the lips. "I'm sorry Gibbs, what did you say?"

"I asked how long you're going to be gone."

"Dunno yet. They said they would hold my job for me as long as I need." That was a lie. She had actually called her would-be boss and left a message on his machine saying that she was going to need more time than the few months they had discussed. In all probability he would call her back saying they couldn't hold her job that long and she would be fired. Not like she particularly cared. She knew almost from the beginning that she couldn't take the job. Something in the back of her mind told her it wasn't a right fit for her. What she was doing now was.

Gibbs nodded slowly. "Any idea where you're going to go?"

Abby looked over at Ziva who shrugged her shoulders. "Not a clue." She said with a smile. "It's freeing, being able to go wherever I want whenever I want and for however long I want. I mean, I'll miss everyone; you, Tony, McGee, Ducky and even Palmer, and my brother, my niece, my nephews…" She trailed off. Actually sitting down to think about it she realized there were a lot of people she was going to miss. But it wasn't going to be anything like the eighteen months she had gone without the love of her life. "But I'll call – once a week, at least, if I can, and let you know how I'm doing."

That's when Gibbs figured it out. "Sounds like you've thought of everything Abs." He said, taking another sip of his coffee. It always took at least half a cup for him to be able to think clearly. And now that he had had that, he was.

"Of course Gibbs. I always make sure I've covered all my bases."

"Yeah." He admitted. She did, but this did not sound like her work. Abby dealt with the science and computers and evidence. This sounded more like the work of a certain Israeli member of his team. "Tell Archangel I say to stay safe."

Ziva and Abby's eyes locked. "Bye Gibbs."

"Stay safe Abby."

"Always do." She carefully put the phone back on its cradle and turned to Ziva. "Now what do we do?"

"Now," Ziva began, pulling Abby with her as she stood. "We get another hotel room on the other side of the city-"

"Or the country."

Ziva raised an eyebrow. "Can you wait that long?"

Abby shook her head. Had last night not been such an emotional night, they may have been able to do more than pass out completely wrapped within each other's arms. But it had been, and thus they did not. But tonight, after a most restful night of sleep, was another story.

"We get a hotel room on the other side of the city and we stay there for the rest of the week, yes?"

Abby's face lit up. "There is nowhere I would rather be." She drew Ziva's face down to hers and kissed her with a passion that was more but a hint of what was to come. When she pulled away she looked deep into Ziva's dark, clouded eyes and smirked. She grabbed her bag with one hand and Ziva's hand with the other. It would be a miracle if they made it to the hotel.

A/N: See, I couldn't let ZIva just die. That would be a very bad Zabby story. lol. If you liked it feel free to review and just maybe I'll add a little Christmas surprise later this week!