Authors note: Here's chappie 15. Me and Kat's fanfic! W00t!

This story contains YAOI!! If you don't like YAOI then don't read!!

Kk just wanted to get that outta the way.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto or any of the other Naruto charries. But Shan and the fan club DOES belong to us.

Chapter 15

Gaara tilted Naruto's chin up slightly; peering towards the blonde's neck to fasten the green clip into place. The boy fidgeted; his hands pressing between his shins that were laid across the floor. Stepping back the Kage nodded approvingly and both boys regarded each other with exasperated glances. Each wore heavy suits, designed in camouflage with heavy bullet proof vests in black over the fabric. The suits were loaded with many guns, grenades and weapons of the sort. Naruto dropped against the sofa; the helmet on his head clonking him on the skull for the fact that it was a bit too large while the blonde tried to lace up his knee boots.

Gaara cleared his throat and tightened his own helmet; his vest hanging on him loosely above his opened camo jacket that revealed a dirty wife beater beneath. His combat boots were all ready laced and he smudged on green and brown make-up underneath his all-ready charcoal eyes.

Naruto, finally struggling up the boots finished them with a sigh and Gaara threw a glance at the blonde before striding to him and plopping himself down on his lap. Instinctively Naruto wrapped his arms around the Kage's neck and went to meet lips with him but instead Gaara placed his finger on Naruto's lips before backing away and chuckling at Naruto's disgusted expression.

The blonde had a smear of make-up on his lips that he now loosely spread around his cheeks and eyes. Then, the both of them standing and facing each other Gaara pulled a simple 22mm shot gun from his back and loaded a seven pack into the semi-automatic container.

Naruto grasped a grenade with one hand and intertwined Gaara's fingers with his before the two of them charged up the stairs;

Immediately Naruto tripped and the pin from the grenade clicked down the steps. The two of their eyes widening they bolted up the rest of the way and Naruto's basement imploded; the house collapsing in behind them. While Naruto panted and stared in wide-eyed horror at the damage he'd caused Gaara gaped at his surroundings.

Despite the mid-day time the sky was a midnight blue; polluted clouds rumbling around while towers lined the horizon. The once beautiful landscape had become barren with wreckage protruding from the uneven ground and barbed wire wrapping around the perimeter. Suddenly a spot light that had been scanning the blue-ish landscape landed on the two and a mega-phoned Shan boomed out, also surrounding them.

"GAARA-SAMMAAA! SURRENDOR NOW OR WE WILL TAKE YOU DOWN!" She ordered. The Kage's grip on Naruto tightened and he bolted to the left; towards the darker pits quickly. Unseen and jumping over small bumps in the ground that would prove to be land mines Naruto helplessly dangled in the air behind him before Gaara threw him to the ground and jumped above him to protect him from the shower of red bullets around them. However as the acidic substance settled into the ground around him he noticed that they weren't bullets but were actually…and horribly, perfumed lipstick containers.

"DAMN YOU SHAN!" Naruto screamed from the ground. Cursing under his breath Gaara wrapped his vest around Naruto; leaving him exposed with an open jacket and just thin white fabric between his defenseless skin.

Or so the fan girls thought.

Swooning, a pink clay hand shot toward him from the left; the Kage rolled to the right with ease and propped the 22 up with his knee; letting off two bullets into the now-shrieking pink goop. He motioned for Naruto to come, but then noticed a bee-line around where the figure had once been and a streak of blonde headed in the opposite direction. Gaara sighed, praying to the Gods the blonde wouldn't do something typically stupid before he charged to the tower; grenade in his mouth and pin ready to be plucked and thrown he could feel the sand beneath him gathering and a certain violet-haired annoyance dropping a megaphone; looking terrified.

Naruto didn't know where he was going but he didn't care. He thought that Gaara was following in trail but he was sadly mistaken. The blonde turned around only to find 100 fan girls stalking him. He shrieked and unpinned about 10 grenades and throwing them near the girls. They screamed and ran away from the grenades and Naruto huffed at them and went to walk away. He kept walking until he heard a familiar voice and he stopped dead.

"Foxy boy!!" boomed a low voice. Naruto turned around and watched as the smoke and dirt disappeared only to reveal Doku; the female (yet kinda male) guard from when he was held captive in Shan's HQs. Naruto swallowed thickly as he saw her charging towards him. It took him a few seconds until his body finally reacted and he went screaming like a girl in the opposite direction. He ran so fast that all that was left in front of Doku was a cloud of smoke and faint sound of Naruto's feminine scream. Doku started to sob but then she cheered up and then started to look for the foxy dude.

Mean while, back at the remains of Naruto's house, Gaara was having his own predicaments…

"Gaara-sama!!! Looooove meeee!!!" a brown haired girl squealed and lunged towards Gaara only to be shoved into the ground.

'Stupid fucking fan girls… if it weren't for them I'd be in a bed with Naruto and well…. You know…' Gaara thought angrily as he shoved another vile girl out of the way. He looked around, and still no blonde haired dobe… Gaara started running when they turned into goop and then morphed into Giraffe. Why a giraffe? Oh well.

"Gaaaaraaa we looovveee youuu!" it somehow managed to moo before opening its jaws widely and wrapping them around the top of Gaara's head. The kage stood stunned for a moment, his eyes wide before he crossed his arms with pink ooze dripping down his face, suddenly the giraffe exploded in a tidal wave of sand that Gaara stepped onto and raised high into the air with.

Down below there were long dust trails, followed by what seemed to be a decapitated and gene-spliced mammoth-chicken. Gaara shook his head at the sight and noticed a small army of about six hundred girls charging with kunai and spears towards the dust cloud, he revolved and noticed another army headed for his own sand cloud led by Shan who was dressed in a Kimono meant for a queen and was riding a long-tusked elephant. The poor beast was draped in vibrant colors and staggered around the field, occasionally crushing a rabid fan girl.

The girls on Shan's side were also holding kunai and spears, and it was at that point that Gaara laughed, remembering there were still ninjas out there; As for him and Naruto?

They were all fire power.

"Naruto!" Gaara called, sensing the Kyuubi's power suddenly as it neared him he clapped his hands and appeared next to Naruto before grabbing the blonde's wrist and dragging him in the least-enclosed-by-fan-girls direction which happened to be blocked by the mammoth-chicken. Up close Gaara noticed it wore make-up and a very envious mustache which the Kage couldn't help but smile at Naruto cross-eyed and looking down toward his hairless upper lip.

"Move, beast!" Gaara commanded, swishing his hand in front of him; in his peripheral vision he noticed the fan girls nearing and swallowed thickly as the beast suddenly widened its footing and smashed its fists together. The beast roared obnoxiously and the Kage honestly thought all was over as the ground around him vibrated and crumbled. The air quivered and he quickly clutched Naruto into an embrace before the ground fell out beneath him and he squeezed his eyes shut.

That's when it happened; a perfumed overwhelming scent came to the two as they were crashed to the ground. Dirt surrounded them but Gaara could've sworn he saw Tsunade. But what was she doing here? This was his fight. Wait… what is he thinking? He needs all the fucking help he could get.

The female sennin pulled a long scroll from her robe; immediately making hand signs as suddenly all the fan girls exploded into the air like rag dolls, falling with thuds as actual voodoo dolls around them. She nodded approvingly at the limp dolls on the floor. Everything seemed much quieter now that the fan girls were well… disposed of. Gaara let out a silent relief for that.

Tsunade turned to face the mammoth-chicken… and with one swift punch, it was sent flying through the walls. Her brute strength was nothing to underestimate. She stepped forward; her posture perfect and a smirk on her face as she looked down upon the two utterly shocked, confused, and flustered boys. Gaara and Naruto nodded their thanks and they were about to climb out of the hole to greet the Hokage but they stopped dead when a shriek was heard from the sky and Shan landed with a thud in front of them. Tsunade analyzed her for about a second before spinning to face Gaara and Naruto who were still wrapped around each other in the crater.

"Kazekage, she's after you." Tsunade called, momentarily appearing before Gaara and grabbing him; then disappearing but not before leaving the blonde directions. His eyes sparkled with anticipation and something else that Gaara didn't really catch. He could've sworn there was an evil aura around him for a second but it faded instantly. He was about to ask what Tsunade had just told his Naruto but he was transported away with her and he couldn't see Naruto anywhere. He was in the Hokage's office and his face turned red with anger. The women had just left Naruto with the most horrifying fangirl to ever walk this planet and he wasn't there to help him. He was about to walk out but then he realized that there was a seal around the room so he couldn't escape. He cursed in his mind and Tsunade just sat there with a determined grin.

"Poker?" She asked with one of her classic grins. Gaara clenched his teeth and brought his hairless eyebrows together as she tapped the deck of cards on her desk. Suddenly realization dawned on Gaara and he smacked his hand to his forehead; cursing the woman for the fact that she'd won a game—more so, a game that involved gambling; the strip poker. It was with this that he knew, rushing forward to beat her in cards; she may have damned them all.

The air stilled, only deterred by Shan and Naruto's breathing as the boy pulled himself exaggeratedly to his feet, drooping for a moment before he cracked his neck and straightened. His eyes went dark; they weren't that normal shiny sky blue, now they were more like a storm cloud grey. He smiled wickedly as he stared at Shan with a loathing expression.

Shan gulped. This wasn't that hyperactive, knuckle-headed, idiot anymore. This was someone completely different in front of her. Even the massive elephant that she was riding before had nervously fidgeted for not even a few seconds before it trampled away.

"Good thing the old hag took Gaara, I can't look much more than cute and defenseless in front of him…but now that he's gone I can--$#!#$#&$#&($W#$&$#ETGHG&&&$BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP$($&&(($$$&&()+ ??:""""+++--[\';;./, to you!" his voice dripped with acid with every word that escaped him. Shan's mouth dropped open in utter shock at the vile words Naruto had spoken that are so utterly awful that we, as the authors, can simply not utter them. Just so you know? It had Shan shaking in her kimono!

Naruto smirked, taking one step forward that caused Shan to grasp whatever dignity she had left to stumble to her feet and hold up her fists; however the blonde shook his head and slowly reached behind him; withdrawing a long kitana from it's sheath that reflected the dark clouds on it's pale blade.

"Shan…" was all Naruto managed through his rage. His chakra had started seeping through him and it turned a light red and it seemed to flame around him as he stepped forward. Kyuubi was trying to gather control but Naruto had him restrained. As soon as he was ready he jumped over the pit and charged the girl, who withdrew her own spiked short sword; though the blade was as sickeningly sharp as a razors edge, their blades clashed; Naruto's unspeakable profanities causing Shan's senses to dull as the blonde over took her and steadily beat her sword backwards.

Shan defended herself, frantically trying to over take the shorter blonde but Naruto's power was just too over whelming for the violet haired girl to handle.

'Wait… This…BRAT, is going to beat ME; The most feared fan girl, the founder and creator of the Gaara Fan club, The most tempered bitch around? He thinks he can beat me, then he must be on some kind of new drug…' Shan thought as a new burst of energy shot through her.

"HYOOOOOOOOOO!" She screeched as her chakra started to form around her. It turned slightly yellow and it looked like she was on fire, in the same sort of way as how Naruto's chakra looks. Her hair started to stand up straight and it started to change into a light yellow. Her hair wasn't a golden blonde like Naruto's but it was still yellow.

She let out another war cry before she lunged towards Naruto with her sword by her side. Naruto crouched into an animal-like position and he brought his sword up near his face as he waited patiently for the girl to reach him. Everything went into slow motion, and Naruto got pissed that the author wanted to put it in slow motion at a time like this…

"I--- wwwiillll---- killll--- yoooouuuu---- naahhhh-ruuuu—tooooeeee!!!" Shan yelled as fast as she could while her chakra crackled and her spiked yellow hair refused to budge… Naruto charge and when their swords met their chakra fused together and started a battle of its own. The red and yellow chakra blew around them; blowing Naruto around and in front of his face but Sham's hair still refused to move…

Naruto pushed his sword forward and with Kyuubi's help, he started to over power the girl once again.

"DDDDIIIIIIEEEEE----- SSSHHAAANNNNN!!!" Naruto yelled and her sword shattered into pieces. Shan fell to her knees, barely missing the jagged pieces of her broken sword. Naruto just stared down at her and smirked. Shan lifted her hands to her face and she cried into her hands, Naruto didn't even hesitate before turning on his heel to face the other direction; a gluttonous and smug smile appearing on his face as he slowly started to crack up; being that when Shan fell her hair still stood defiantly; now out of the corner of his eye Naruto could see the limp blonde strands falling and smacking her from the chakra-gel she must have hidden and used while Naruto was distracted with her light show. Now, every time a strand hitter she would let out a little cry of pain. It served her well enough; No one could match the taste of Sunny Hair Gel D-lux but Naruto, and his hair was there to prove it.

Coughing Naruto turned around and was met with Shan again, however the girl was now standing with thick foam dripping from her mouth and her pupils dilated; she grasped the leg of a fan girl doll as a weapon and blindly swung it at Naruto who deflected it with his sword. Rather than splitting wood, the clang of metal rang through the air, causing the blonde to get back on guard as Shan smirked through her ironic rabies. Oh, the weapons clashed; metal clinging as a constant sound all the way back to the dead center of Konoha where slight remains of the Hokage office still stood; all the members of Konoha inside and a stronger seal on the inner walls that even Naruto could feel. No, next to the office however was a giant fortress that Naruto wondered how in the world could've been built in the hours he and Gaara were preparing; It had to be sixty stories high with statues of Gaara everywhere; there was a mote and everything, with more Doku-Chans floating in the water.

Shuddering, Naruto passed the bridge; still fighting Shan all the way inside and down several flights of steps until they inevitably found themselves in a dungeon that was littered with voodoo dolls on the floor. Naruto raised his sword high above his head; the power radiating off the blade and off of his body. Shan could feel it, she knew if she struck low he would splice her through the top of the head, high and his power would slice through her fan-girl-leg-tool, so instead she dropped her weapon and stumbled backward; falling into a cell.

Naruto dropped his sword and clutched his stomach with one arm; the other pushing the prison doors closed.

"Pffbbbt! You ACTUALLY fell for that?! Dumbass! Ahahah, ahahahahahahaaa…bye." And with that the blonde gave a curt wave and locked the doors; then running outside to see the sun shining; the birds twittering and everything back to normal. People slowly left the borders of the Hokage's office; shielding their eyes from the bright sunlight with their hands, everyone gradually began laughing, then cheering. And the fortress slowly disintegrated; the only proof left of it ever being there was a small cage that held Shan inside; gnawing angrily on the bars yelling at Naruto.

"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elder-berries!" Shan yelled and then continued gnawing at the bars. Naruto turns towards Shan and glared at her.

"Shut up or I shall have to hurt you." Naruto threatened.

"You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you son of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called 'Naruto!'" Shan yelled and spit at Naruto. The boy only shook his head and sighed.

"Okay first of all, we're JAPANESE! And don't talk about my bottom like that! or I shall have to slap you silly." Naruto hissed. Shan just glared and growled menacingly at Naruto.

Naruto walked away and just watched as everybody started walking around Konoha once more. He recognized all his friends that came out and one of them was Rock Lee. He looked around frantically and then started mumbling.

"This is what youth does to us Gai-sensei?! Why!?" Lee yelled and disappeared down a street yelling.

Voodoo dolls rained through the air and suddenly Gaara burst through the main Hokage office; a naked Tsunade chasing him as the red head grabbed hold of Naruto and spun him around. The two grabbed hands and thrust themselves; running and laughing down the street to see Naruto's house standing beautiful and clean!

…Or not.

Gaara sighed, running a hand through his dark red hair exasperatedly while he attempted to ignore a tearing Naruto;

"As your work for Hokage…well Naruto, you've pretty much all ready proved yourself to the village but, uhm, How about you show you're cleaning skills by fixing the house?" He laughed nervously and turned to face the blonde fully; surprised when he saw Naruto's bright blue eyes shining with determination.

"For Hokage? All right!" he pumped his fist in the air and ran forward, scurrying around to attempt to clean. Gaara half-frowned, he almost wished the blonde declined so he could bribe him with sex, but of course Naruto was oblivious as goddamn always. In any case, Gaara was glad that the Shan-Seize was over and he began to daze off into his thoughts when a loud scream echoed from Naruto…