As It Was Supposed To Be

The coming of Natarle's death was unusually peaceful. The brightness that shone upon her was amazingly warm, and it reminded her of Arnold Neumann.

She never meant to leave him, but it was not really her choice back then. And she knew better anyway; her duty was more important than her own wishes.

If things did not end this way, they would probably have their chance at living the peaceful life they always dreamed of. She might even willingly give up her career, and become a dutiful wife, waiting patiently at home for her husband's return every evening. She knew that being herself this was very unlikely, but somehow she did manage to picture this once, and surprisingly, it was quite a pleasant scene.

Oh, talk about her marriage. Before she left the Archangel Arnold did ask her if wanted to move in with him after the war. She still remembered how serious he looked at that moment. It was not exactly a proposal, but it was already one of the happiest moments in her life. She did wonder for a bit what it would be like to actually get married with him. But it was just a thought back then, because she knew very well that there was much more waiting for her on the battlefield.

Yes, the war. Exactly what she was trained for. If it was any other situation, she would know clearly how she should deal with it. But when it came to having her own lover and comrades as opponents, she never ceased to doubt whether she was doing the correct thing.

Because even if she had won this battle, even if the EA had won this war, he would not be there to welcome her back and share her victory.

If she did not leave the Archangel, then this would not be happening. Now she sort of understood why she was taken off the Archangel; not only because she was the daughter of the famous Badgiruel family, but also because there was the other ship waiting for her.

How she regretted leaving the Archangel. As a loyal soldier to the EA ever since she enrolled, she despised all its traitors. But when it came to the Archangel, all she wanted was for them to go back with her. Now, at the verge of her death, she wondered how it might have been if it was she who betrayed the EA. Maybe she would not have to die so soon, and surviving till the end of the war. How nice it would be if she could have her chance in settling into a peaceful life with the person she loved. She was not asking for that much, all she hoped for was to be able to wake up every morning, still in his arms.

And every now and then she would remind herself how amazing it was for them to be living this simple yet wonderful life after a war.

They would probably have a child, or maybe two. If their firstborn was a boy, his name would perhaps be Jonathan. But if it was a girl, she would definitely be called Margaret; that was what Arnold insisted.

But that was just her dreaming. Of course she believed that the two of them would have such a happy life together if given the chance, but now come to think about it, she never realized that there was also the possibility that she and Arnold would not have ended up together. Maybe they were not meant to be after all.

Such a pity, she would never get to know how it was supposed to be.

A/N: I wrote this quite a while ago, but I didn't really want to put it up as a one-shot, so I decided to add it to this collection. (I did want to write something sweet for this hit, but oh well. Will do that next time.) It's inspired by a Cantonese song by a female singer called Denise Ho (nicknamed HOCC) that I absolutely adore. Dunno how to translate the title into English, but it's a pretty sad song about a girl's final thoughts before her plane crashes, and the lyrics are like they were taken out from Natarle's mind for the AxN bit. Seriously.

Oh the babies' names. My favorite part. I've always pictured Natarle having a daughter called Margaret. Coincidently in the lyrics of this song the girl was wondering what names she would have called her children, and she came up with the name Meg for her daughter, a short form of Margaret. I was like, COOL!!! But for the boy's name, I wanted it to be something like Alexander at first, but the lyrics suggested something like John, and I thought, Jonathan is quite a nice name, so there you go. And he will be a hyperactive little boy, and the younger Margaret will be a very timid and adorable girl. That's DEFINITELY how it's gonna be!!! XD

Anyhow, many thanks to my reviewers!!! I seriously love you guys!!!

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