Disclaimer: Not. Mine. End.

August 30, 2010 (A/N--I'm gonna start using dates so that when I do time skips you won't be confused.)

This was the last week of summer break, and everyone was living it up, except for me. I hadn't left the house since Carley was born, except to go to Wal Mart to buy stuff for her.

Everyone was buzzing about the upcoming school year. Edward will be a senior, Emmett is going to the University of Washington on a football scholarship, Rosalie and Jasper are going into high school and Alice is going to her school for kids with problems. And then there's me.

I don't want to go back to school. The idea of being away from Carley, even for a few hours, is sickening. I mean, it's weird, cause I'm dying for a break, but the idea of being away from her is just, I dunno...crazy.

Tonight was one of the nights where I'm totally alone with Carley, and I have to say that we're doing really well. I'm still feeling totally overwhelmed, but when things go smoothly, like are right now, I feel good.

I have Carley on somewhat of a schedule now, so I fed her, bathed her and put her in bed, all on time. I was just walking out of my room, patting myself on the back for a job well done when all of a sudden Carley started crying. No, not crying, try like fucking wailing. When she cries the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I can never get her to stop. It's like she hates me or something.

I sat down outside of my bedroom door hoping that maybe she would stop. After ten minutes though she was only getting louder, so I quietly opened the door and picked her up. So much for our good night. God, I hate this. Why won't she sleep, so that maybe I can get some fucking shut eye.

I tried everything, but she wouldn't stop. The minutes ticked into an hour, and I was starting to panic. I tried Esme's cell, but there was no answer. I walked all around the house, but she wouldn't quiet down. One hour turned into two, and by the second hour I was freaking out. I was scared, and tired, and really, really stressed.

I honestly don't think that I can do this anymore. I feel like I haven't slept in forever. Carley has been crying for like two hours already and she doesn't show any signs of stopping. I held her close to me rocking her back and forth gently. "Shh," I tried to sound soothing, "It's okay baby, go to sleep." I swayed trying to get her to at least quiet down. I just want to go to sleep. I just want her to be quiet. Just for one night. Thats it, one night of good uninterrupted sleep is all I'm asking for.

I carried her up to the kitchen and made a bottle, but she refused it. I tried burping her and changing her diaper, but nothing was helping. Soon I couldn't take it and I started crying along her with her. How fucked up is this? I mean, I'm 15, I should be out partying on a Saturday night, not at home with my screaming baby. "Carley, please," I sobbed, "Let me sleep."

I heard the front door unlock and Esme and Carlisle walked in. Esme kicked off her shoes and flung her jacket onto the couch. "Bella!" She ran over to me, "Whats wrong?"

"I...I...I can't do it, she hates me. I've tried everything, she just doesn't like me or something. And I haven't slept in God knows how long and I just want to stab Kyle in the fucking eye for doing this to me." Carley was crying ever louder now, which in turn made me cry harder and I knew I looked like a blubbery mess, but I didn't give two fucks. I just want the baby to sleep.

"Here Bella, give her to me for a few minutes." Esme reached for the baby and I gladly handed her over. Once my arms were empty I collapsed onto the couch and just cried.

"I don't know what the hell I was thinking, I can't do this. She deserves a mother who can actually keep her happy."

"Shes a newborn baby Bella," Esme said rocking Carley back and forth, "This is totally normal." Carley started to quiet down, "She feeds off of your energy. If you're upset then she'll be upset." Her wails turned into whimpers, and then, finally, her eyes closed.

Esme handed her back to me, and I stared down at her now peaceful face. She did look like me, with her round face and thin lips. I stood up slowly and went up to my room. I placed Carley in the cradle, and then went back down to the living room.

"It's a lot of work, isn't it." Esme said wrapping her arms around me.

"I had no clue..."

"When she says her first word, or calls you mommy for the first time, or when she says that she loves you, then all of these sleepless nights will seem much more worth it."

I leaned on Esme's shoulder and just cried. She sat there rubbing my back slowly, just letting me cry. My whole body feels weak, like at moment I could just crumble to the ground.

Esme stood up slowly and guided me up to my room. Carley was asleep in her cradle, but I knew it wouldn't last long. In a couple of hours I would be woken up again. Esme pulled back my covers and I climbed into the bed.

"Will you stay with me?" I asked her. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted the warmth of having her next to me. She held me close as I drifted off to sleep, and when Carley started crying just under two hours later, Esme told me to stay in bed, and she took Carley out of the room. I slept right through breakfast till almost noon, and I don't feel the least bit guilty about it.

---

September 9th, 2010

Today is the first day of school, and I'm doing everything to delay having to get up. I can't do this. I can't just drop Carley off. Not yet at least, not until she's older. She's still so tiny, and maybe she hates me, but she needs me, even if I just make her cry.

"Esme, I've decided not to go back to school just yet." I said, coming to into the kitchen.

She threw her head back and laughed. "Sorry chickey, no dice. Get dressed."

"Esme, I'm serious. I'm not ready to be away from Carley. I don't want to just leave her in that daycare."

"Bella--"

"No, I'm serious. I don't trust anyone except for you, Carlisle, or me to care for her."

"Bella, would you feel better if she stayed with me for today?"

"I don't want to go back to school. Esme, I need to move on with my life. I need to finish high school fast, so that I can get a job. What if I stopped school--just for now--got a job, earned money, and then went back and got my GED."

"Bella, no, I am not letting you do that to your self. Leave Carley with me for for now, go to school, get your education, and graduate."

"Esme, I don't want to spend three more years in school." I knew I sounded whiney, but she didn't get it. I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm a mother, and I just want to start being an adult. I don't want to be stuck in a classroom for a day longer than absolutley necessary.

Esme put her hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. "Go to school. I love you Bella, but if you drop out of school then you are out of this house."

I felt a pinch behind my eyes. She doesn't understand. I felt like screaming at her. I wanted to call her every bad name in the book. I didn't do that though. I was too upset. Instead I picked up the baby carrier, grabbed my bad and walked towards the door.

"You can't kick me out if I voluntarily leave." Fuck this. This is my life, and if I don't want to be away from Carley then Esme can't make me. I'm a mother now; a fucking grown up.

Esme POV

What the fuck just happened? I tried to replay the last five minutes in my head, but everything was a blur.

"Bella!" I called after her. She wasn't seriously running away, was she? Where did she think she would go. I ran over to the back door and called after her again. I ran into the yard, but she was already out of sight. "Isabella!"

"Shit." I slammed the door and threw the first thing my hand landed on against the wall. The glass cup shattered when it hit the wall, but I didn't care.

Emmett ran into the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"Bella took off." I told him. Digging through my purse looking for my keys.

"What?" He took a step back. "Took off, like, ran away?"

"I don't know. She's mad that I'm making her go back to school, so she left."

"With Carley?" He asked. I nodded.

"Mom, she'll come back. She probably just needs some space. She's just mad."

"What if she doesn't come back?" I couldn't bear the idea of loosing Bella and Carley. "Or what if something happens to her?"

"Mom, she just needs some space. I bet she's just going for a walk."

"Fuck it, I'm going after her." I just grabbed the whole bag and ran out to the car. I didn't have to drive very far; she was sitting at the bus stop around the corner.

"Get your ass in the car." I shouted.

"Fuck you." She stood up and started walking away.

"Isabella, get in the fucking car, right now."

"I'm not going to school. I don't want to be away from her...and plus I don't, I...God, just leave me alone for a while."

"Bella, get in the car."

Finally she climbed into the back seat, clipping Carley's seat in next to her. "I hate you." She sneered.

"I don't care. I'm your mother, no matter if you hate me or not."

"You don't get it," She cried.

"You are so wrong! I do get it. Being away from your child is hard. Feeling like your life is at a dead halt. I do get it, but Bella, you don't get it. You don't get that if you don't finish school then your life will be shit. Without a high school diploma you will be working at McDonald's for the rest of your life, and what does that show Carley? That giving up is okay?And if you don't finish school now, then you will never finish. So go. Get it over with."

Bella didn't respond. In fact, she ignored me the whole way to the school. When I pulled up in front of the main entrance she said her tear filled goodbyes to Carley, and then stormed out of the car without a word to me.

Rosalie POV

(Earlier that morning)

I was the first one up, but I couldn't help it, I was so excited! I practically leapt out of bed and got into the shower. I couldn't believe that I was going to be in High School. This is what I have been dreaming about since I was like five. I did my hair and makeup and then went back into my room and stood in front of my closet. I wanted to pick the perfect outfit. It was hot out so I chose a pair of light wash shorts, and a pink v-neck t-shirt.

I admired my self in the mirror and smiled. Perfect. I grabbed my bag and ran down to the kitchen. Edward was driving me and Jasper, and I just wanted to go already! I threw my sandwich into my bag and sat down at the counter, eagerly waiting.

Mom came down, followed by Edward and Jasper. She wrapper her arms around me and squeezed me tightly. "Good luck!" She squealed. "And have fun!"

"Thanks mom." I squirmed out of her tight grip, "Love you!" I blew her a kiss and I ran after Edward out to the car. I couldn't stop smiling the whole way to school. I was finally getting on with my life, and I couldn't be happier about it.

We pulled up in front of McKinley and got out of the car. Edward pointed us in the direction of the gym where all of the freshman were supposed to go, and then disappeared into the crowd. I said a quick prayer, asking for today to go well for all of us, and then joined the sea of people. McKinley is nothing like Mary's, and it's certainly nothing like Forks Middle School. This place is huge, with hundreds of people all around me. I kept my head up high though and smiled as I walked into the gym. I got in the line to collect my schedule and get my photo taken.

"Hi." The girl in front of my turned around and smiled. She has shoulder length chocolate brown hair and was wearing a pair of shorts and purple hoodie over a gray t-shirt. "I'm Eve."

"Rosalie." I smiled sweetly. She seemed harmless enough. I had to remind myself that I couldn't be afraid of everyone. I had to be outgoing. "So what middle school did you go to?"

"Oh I actually just moved here from Vancouver, Canada, so I'm kinda totally lost."

"Don't even worry, I'm coming from an all girls school, so I have even less of a clue than you."

"Well hopefully we have some classes together so we won't be totally alone."

I nodded. High school was turning out to be great so far. I even have a friend. Eve was next to get her picture, and then she got her class list. I got mine next and then we went off to the side to compare classes. "We have english, gym, biology and drama together. And we have the same lunch block."

"Thats so awesome." Eve grinned. "I was so scared that I would be totally alone."

We walked around the gym together, getting our lockers, textbooks and agenda's. Finally we were told to head to our second period class. Second period was the only class that we didn't have together, so I went off to history while she went to math. It wasn't hard to find my classroom, and when I walked in I was relieved to see that everyone looked as nervous as me. I sat down next to a guy with dirty blonde hair. He looked at me, but when I looked back at him his eyes dropped. I frowned, but ignored it.

The teacher didn't waste any time getting right to the boring stuff, and I found it nearly impossible to concentrate. I was still just to excited to be here; to finally be in high school. How could I possibly concentrate on history?

Next I had gym, which luckily we didn't have to change for today. I met Eve out on the field, and we sat together while the teacher explained the rules of the class and what we would be doing this year. Next we had to give our sizes for our gym uniform, then we were allowed to go for an early lunch.

As Eve and I walked to the cafeteria, laughing and talking about hot guys we had seen today, I realized that I really felt happy. Things were finally looking up; waay up.

Alice POV

(Earlier that morning)

I stood outside wearing a white t-shirt tucked into a floral print shirt, with black purse hanging off my shoulder. I had no clue what to expect as I stood waiting for the bus. From what I found online the school doesn't look so bad, I guess. Small classes, good teacher-student relationships, and a great support system. School's words, not mine.

I had stared at the school's about us page for a good hour last night. The words were practically burned into my brain.

West Seattle Academy is a school designed for students who don't thrive in the public school system. Each student comes to WSA with unique and diverse issues, and our staff are dedicated to helping each student excel.

I kicked at the ground waiting for the stupid bus to just fucking come already. Finally a big yellow school bus pulled up next to the curb. I climbed on, ignoring the bus drivers greetings, and headed directly to the back of the bus.

My mood has been all over the place lately. I was really happy, and doing really well, and then last week I just fell apart again. Now it's like I'm in an everlasting bad mood.

I sat down and moved as close to the window as possible. The bus filled up fast, and the noise was driving me crazy. I just want to get back under the covers. I want to be with Carley; whenever I'm with the baby I feel so much better.

The school was a decent size with a good number of students filing in the front doors. I followed the crowd to the main theater and found a seat at the back of the room.

The principle, a middle aged woman wearing a hideous suit dress thing started talking about the school. She told us all of the rules, which, by the way, were a lot. She told us that the teachers here care about us, and we won't fall through the cracks here like we might in public school or at home. She told us how the classes worked: classes were gender separated, and there would be between eight and twelve kids per class. We stay with the same group of people all day, and we have the same teacher as well, all to help build bonds and build trust or whatever. Then she started reading out the classes. She started at grade six. I was surprised at some of the kids. They were even younger than me, some as young as ten or eleven, and some of the girls look like total whores.

Finally she started the eight grade classes. There were four boys classes, and then she started calling out girls names. "Tessa White, Rebecca Alvarez, Tiffany Allen, Mary-Alice Cullen, Ella Becker, Katherine Tucker, Summer McKay, Elizabeth Parks, Caroline McConnell and Julia Tyler, room 145."

I stood up and walked into the hall. Room 145. I looked up at the numbers and made my way down the hallway until I got to the right room. I walked in and saw three girls already sitting there. They looked normal, I mean, they didn't look like they have 'issues', but I guess at first glance I look normal too.

There were ten desks arranged in a 'u' shape, and at the back of the room were three couches. It looked nothing like the boring classrooms at Mary's, with the neat rows or desks and blank walls. No, this classroom was the polar opposite; the walls were colorful and everything felt homey. I chose a desk and sat down, ignoring the other three girls. The four of us sat there in silence, as did the other girls who filed in. We all sat in our seats just staring down at our hands until the teacher walked in. She looked to be mid thirties, with short bouncy blonde hair and laugh lines. She walked up to the front of the room and smiled too cheerfully. God this year was gonna suck. I frowned and shut my eyes.

"Hi girls," She smiled, "I'm Ms Miller, and I just wanted to welcome you to WSA. I know that some of you are new, and some of you are returning. But to me you are all new, so let's introduce ourselves. Say your name, how long you've been here, and a little bit about your self. I'll start. My name is Lucey Miller; This is my fourth year here and I have a degree in education and adolescents psychology. I teach here because when I was fifteen I made friends with the wrong crowd and got involved in lots of bad stuff. My parents sent me to rehab, but when I got out there wasn't a school like this for me to come to, so it wasn't until I was seventeen and spent seven months in juvi that I got help. So I'm here to help you, so you don't wind up like I did."

I couldn't help but be interested. I'd never met an adult who was like me when they were young.

"Okay, lets move clockwise, starting with you." She tapped on the desk of a girl with white blonde hair. "I'm Elizabeth, but call me Liz. This is my second year here. And raspberry vodka is my drink of choice, and I don't give a fuck what my mother says."

Ms Miller nodded. The next girl has long wavy brown hair and looked really indie. "I'm Ella." The second she spoke I knew she was high. Man, maybe this year won't be so bad after all. "This is my first year here, and..." She paused, "And...I love art."

"I'm Rebecca, Bex for short. This is my third year here and I love to write, so naturally english is my best class."

I was next. I didn't know what to say. "I'm Alice. I'm new here, and this time last year I was a totally different person."

"Hi everyone, I'm Tiffany, this is my third, and hopefully last, year here, and my mom says that if I can stay out of trouble all year then I can cheer next year in high school."

"I'm Tessa. I'm new. I was in an inpatient facility last year, and I really don't want to go back..."

"I'm Summer. I'm new. And I don't want to be here."

"None of us do." One of the girls, I think her name was Liz, coughed.

"I'm Katherine, or Kate, I'm new. I just got out of an inpatient center, and I don't think I can do it." She spoke really quietly and looked down at her desk. I couldn't imagine someone as pretty as her in rehab.

"I'm Julia, this is my first year here, and my foster mom told me either I come here or I go into a state home...so here I am." She smiled weakly, and I realized that she kind of looked like Bella. I wonder if all kids in the system have that same worn out, beaten down look.

"I'm Caroline, I'm new and I'm not troubled, I'm artistic."

We all just sat there, awkwardly. I wonder what Rosalie is doing right now. And Bella too. I looked around the classroom thinking that if I can just get through this year then I can move on with my life. I can be like Rosalie, and put the past behind me.

Ms Miller started talking about how class was going to work, but I didn't bother listening. I hope these girls like to party. I know Liz will, and probably Ella too.

A pile of papers were being passed along the row. It was a schedule of what our days would look like. I shoved it into my bag without looking at it. I looked over at Liz. She was the girl I know I need to get in good with. She was a lot taller than me, and had long straight white blonde hair. She looked mean, but I wasn't afraid of her.

I know that the only way I'll have any fun this year is if I get in good with Liz, so while Ms Miller droned about, I started carefully planning exactly how to get in that girls good books.

Esme POV

I walked into the house after dropping Bella off and went into the living room. I lay Carley on her back and sat down on the floor next to her. If this morning is any indication for how the rest of the year is gonna be, then I'm sure in for a crazy year. Or what if this morning was one of the better mornings? I leaned against the couch and prayed that this year would be a fresh start.

All right, so what do you think? It's gonna be an interesting year, no? The next chapter will skip forward to October or November I think. It's up to you, do you guys want a halloween chapter?? Review and let me know!!

--Alice xx