A/N:

Just so you know, this gets lemony guys. Hope you enjoy :P Gets you ready for what's to come, doesn't it?

At least you know it won't get boring... I promise.

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Chapter One

Bella POV

Would this shit day ever end? Christ. I had thought that the five hour plane ride from Phoenix, Arizona sitting next the the fattest, smelliest guy I had ever met would be the worst part of my day. Though apparently I had been wrong.

Now Charlie was dragging me to see that godforsaken woman. My fucking mother. How dare she even ask me to call her that? She had called Charlie's house not so long ago. Asking if I had arrived. I don't even see why she bothered to pretend. I mean, she didn't give a shit when I was a baby... what was so different now? I guess, because I could pretty much look after myself, now she wanted a relationship. Well, fuck that.

She had asked Charlie to bring me around. Meet the family. Now, there is a limit to the torture each person can endure... and I swear I was reaching my threshold.

So, of course, I was being forced to go. I really didn't see the point. I mean, I had met the Clearwaters before. Every time Renee had forced me to visit Charlie, in fact. I suppose I had never met them as my family, but I couldn't give a damn. There wasn't enough energy in my whole body to care even a little bit about any of them. Except maybe Harry. Sue's long suffering husband. Fuck knows how he put up with her and all her dramas.

Sitting in the car with Charlie was the most awkward scenario that anyone can imagine. People think we look uncomfortable with one another, and they would be right. We'd never really gotten on. And now the whole town knew about me, the bastard, our relationship had gone from bad to worse. He was one of those private guys who hated it if he fucking sneezed in public. So, this whole affair thing was killing him. And I loved it.

Inside, I smiled. I daren't on the outside. I didn't want Charlie to get the wrong impression that I was smiling at him, otherwise he might try to strike up a conversation. I wouldn't be able to control my anger if he spoke even a syllable to me. I felt a little growl reverberate up my throat, but suppressed it with a cough.

The car stopped. I hadn't even realised we were there. I guess I must have been daydreaming again. I always do that when I wished I was somewhere else. It was so very appropriate given the hell I was about to endure.

Charlie was at the front door to the Clearwater's house before I had even unclipped my seatbelt. Grumbling, I walked towards my father and stepped through the front door as soon as it had been opened. Not even acknowledging Harry and his greeting. I stomped into the living room and sat in the worn pink armchair in the darkest corner, furthest away from everyone and everything. I so wasn't in the fucking mood.

"So... Bella?" I hadn't even realised that Sue had come into the living room. I couldn't find it in me to care. She seemed nervous, unsure; but I was going to make this talk even more difficult than she expected it to be.

"Bella, be nice." It was Charlie. He had perched himself awkwardly on the edge of the worn pink sofa opposite me. I snorted. Be nice? He had to be fucking kididng.

"Can we just talk about this, honey?"

I glared up at Sue. There was no way I could contain my anger now. She had just opened a can of whoop-ass and she didn't even know it yet.

"Honey?" I growled. "Honey? What right have you to fucking call me honey?" I spat.

"Now, now," she scolded. "There's no need for language like that."

"What right have you got to tell me what to do?" I hissed. "You're not even my mother." I stood up and strode towards her. "I have no fucking," I emphasised the expletive, "mother."

With that, I pushed past her. Not even taking enough time to glory in the absolute look of horror I had put on her face. I couldn't put up with this crap. I had to get out. Behind me, I heard Charlie yelling. Trying to get me to come back. But he was just lucky I hadn't started on him... I could think of so much shit to yell at him that he would probably pass out from the embarrassment.

He was lucky that I came to this fucking mistake of a meeting without trying to break his hand. At the very least, I had seriously considered breaking his hand. But, no. I'd given him the benefit of the doubt. And look where it had gotten me. Abso-fucking-lutely nowhere.

There was only one place I could think to go now. Not to Charlie's. That wasn't my home. But, where I was headed almost was. Everytime I came to Forks, I would spend most of my time here. Without thinking, I broke into a run. Jacob's house wasn't too far away.

I was fitter than I'd thought. Ten minutes of puffing and panting and I was there. Secretly, I congratulated myself for giving up smoking. Only a year of doing it and already my lungs felt as if they were shot to fucking bits. I was glad I had given up when I did.

Quickly, I whacked my fist against the oak front door. Billy opened it. He didn't have to say a word, his downcast eyes spoke volumes. I didn't need this shit right now. Especially not from Billy. My dad's closest male friend had known all these years and hadn't even hinted. I was almost as livid with him as I was with Charlie.

But I couldn't take it out on Billy. I felt a certain volume of sympathy for the poor bastards stuck in wheelchairs... not that it excused his actions. His legs may not work, but his brain bloody well did. I knew that for a fact. He had beaten me enough times at Scrabble for me to know... and English was my thing. It was the only thing I was decent at in school.

I walked past Billy and followed the soft snoring upstairs. Jacob, never having grown out of taking naps, always took a little time for a snooze during the day. Even though he was nearing seventeen and I had just turned eighteen, he still took naps. The thought almost made me smile. Almost.

Not bothering to knock on the door, I barged in and jumped onto Jacob's bed. It was near enough to his bedroom door in this small room that there was barely room for any other furnishings, though I noticed a brand new wardrobe as I continued bouncing on Jacob's bed.

"What... who... mmmm," Jacob grumbled sleepily. I would have described him as cute, even though he was now a whopping six foot five, but I wasn't sure if I could ever call Jacob cute. It would give him the wrong idea. All I wanted for right now was to feel some of the love that Jacob never failed to produce.

"Fucking wake up, you woman." I placed my foot on his chest and began to press down as hard as I could manage. Though apparently it wasn't hard enough as it only caused Jacob to giggle.

Suddenly, he grabbed my ankle and pulled me on top of him. I tried to wrestle against his broad shoulders, but he held my waist tightly with only one arm. Even asleep the big bastard was strong. And I kind of hated him for it. If I had his sort of power... Christ. I couldn't even imagine the damage I would create. Well, I could... it wouldn't be pretty...

"Bells..." Jacob's voice was almost a purr. Rumbling me out of my daydreams.

"Let go of me, Jake." I beat my tiny fists against his huge chest, which only caused him to grab hold of me tighter. This time, he was holding onto my ass. "Jake!" I yelled to try and wake him up some. "Get the hell off my ass!"

"It was okay last time..." He grinned.

"That was only because you were upset." Though I had to chuckle at the memory. Me, backing into Jacob with Charlie's 'borrowed' (aka stolen) police cruiser. Jacob screaming like a girl. Him grabbing my ass and saying it was the only possible thing in the world that would help.

"And now you're upset." Damn, even half asleep, the boy was perceptive.

"Kind of." I could never lie to Jacob. He always saw right through me anyway. And I needed at least one person to tell my secrets to... now that Renee was a fucking fake. I growled. Jacob began to stroke my hair.

"You know, Bells, I didn't even know about all this shit until Seth told me. He was worried at the time because Leah hadn't come home for five days. I told him that it was probably for the best, it was only Leah after all... but he started to cry. Just broke down right in front of me. I was seriously considering slapping the kid for embarrassing me in front of the guys. Little bastard."

I flinched as Jacob said the last word. Bastard. Well, I guess that's what I was now. I didn't realise I had gone stiff in Jacob's arms until he kissed me softly on the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have said that. God dammit!" He threw his head back onto his pillow. "I'm such a dick!"

"I know," I sighed. "But, you're my dick after all." That made him laugh. "And you will always be my dick Jacob, forever." We both cracked up.

"Hey, Bells..." Jacob had resumed stroking my hair. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No." I bit, harshly. "Sorry, Jake." I hated being mean to him. "I just can't right now."

"What do you want to do then? You know I'll always be here for you, right?"

I brought my head up from his shoulder and looked into his deep, chocolate eyes. Their depths threatened to drown me. But this was what I needed. Some Jacob love. He never failed to disappoint. The kid was right... he was always there for me.

That's when I kissed him. I didn't even know I was going to do it, until it happened. And when his soft, full lips were on mine; it felt right. More right than anything had felt for a long, long time. All I knew was that I didn't want it to end. Someone loved me. Whether I felt the same or not wasn't an issue right now. All that mattered was that this moment never end.

Jacob increased the pressure. Demanding more. I obliged, more than willing. Our lips were moving as one. In time. In tune. Perfection. A feeling I'd never experienced before. Before I knew it, our tongues were merging. Dancing in unison.

Hands grazed bodies. Exploring. Wanting. I needed this so badly. Needed him more than anything. I'd never imagined this would happen with Jacob... but now it felt right. His hand gently caressed circles on my back. As if he were asking permission. I bit his lower lip, causing him to whimper, as I thrust my cold hands underneath his flannel shirt. The sudden cold made him gasp.

His hand's were on my breasts in seconds, removing my bra, grasping their small peaks greedily. I pushed his face away from mine as I quickly shrugged out of my t-shirt and threw it to the floor, along with the unclipped bra. Jacob was a fast mover. I chuckled slightly as I put my lips back to his.

I was suddenly being rolled onto my back as Jacob peeled off his shirt and jeans. By-passing my lips, he trailed small delicate kisses down the middle of my body. My back arched up in anticipation. This was the best kind of torture I could imagine. Jacob's mouth reached the top of my jeans and he ran his tongue lightly across my stomach. I gasped. Before I even knew my pants had been unzipped, they were flying over my head and onto the new wardrobe.

Jacob's mouth found mine once more. These kisses were more furious, desperate, needing. I leaned forward and yanked down his boxers. There was no time for foreplay. We had to do this. Right now. We both knew that there would be time for niceties later. Much later. All it was about now was fucking. Not making love. This was pure fucking. At least, it was in my mind. I needed Jacob, he was here, he loved me, he needed me... what could be wrong about this?

My underwear had disappeared onto Jacob's floor. Suddenly, he was thrusting inside me. Huge and hard and hot. I screamed in pure pleasure as our limbs tangled. Jacob was a pro at making my climax rise and fall, toying with me until he was ready himself.

We came smolderingly, shuddering and quickly. Him on top of me. Softly he kissed my lips as he rolled to his side.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered as he kissed my lips once more.

Crap. Love. That was something I hadn't foreseen. I forced as smile back at him as I kissed him quickly. I didn't want to hurt him. I did love him... but... it wasn't the same. Crap.

I wrapped myself in his arms and drifted to sleep. I couldn't go back to Charlie's. Here was the best place for me. I just dreaded the conversation that I knew was coming in the morning.