Chapter 2

Jason takes me home and right when we get inside, Jason picks me up and carries me over to the couch.

"I can walk," I say. "Despite popular belief, I'm not a cripple."

"It's the least I can do for my little bro," he says and lays me down gently on the couch. He puts a blanket on top of me. "Now tell me what you need."

"Nothing," I say.

"Nate, I need you to feel better by the time we go on tour, or we're canceling it."

"But I'm fine."

Jason shakes his head. "After that episode in the bathroom, I'm convinced you have the flu… or something. Then in that case, I should go call a doctor…"

"No. Don't call anyone. I'll be fine."

He frowns. "Nate, it's okay. We're not mad at you for being sick."

"I never said you were."

"Yeah well you're acting like it."

"How?"

"Because you're saying you're fine when you're not!"

"Maybe because I actually am fine!"

"Well maybe you're not but you're saying you are because you don't want us to be mad at you for canceling the tour!"

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

"So what flavour tea do you want?"

"I hate tea!"

"Well too bad!"

Jason storms off and makes me a cup of tea. I sigh and close my eyes.

He returns and hands me a mug. I look at it.

"Drink it," he says, shoving it in my face.

"No," I say, swatting it away with my hand.

Jason sighs. "Okay. I'll leave it right here on the table and you can drink it later. Do you want soup or something?"

"No. I'm not hungry."

"I'll make it anyway. When you see it you'll want it."

Jason sets off again and makes me some chicken noodle soup.

What I don't understand is why Jason can't just leave me alone. How many times do I have to tell him I'm fine for him to hear me?

I grab the remote (or as my aunt calls it, the 'clicker') and turn on the TV. I go to the recorded programs and turn on "Gossip Girl."

Blair's fucking some dude… what's new?

"What episode is this?" I hear Shane say. He jumps over the top of the couch and lands on it.

"It's the tenth of the first season," I tell him.

"Dude," Shane breathes, "you are so-o-o behind."

"Yeah, well it's not like we have any time to watch TV."

I get bored of "Gossip Girl" and so I grab the clicker and switch it to live TV. House is on. It seems to always be on.

Jason comes over with a bowl of soup in his hand. "House!" He comes over and sets the bowl down on the table next to the tea. "There. Soup." He turns to Shane. "Shane, what are you doing?"

Shane looks confused. "Um… Watching TV?"

"Don't get too close to Nate; you might get sick," Jason says.

Shane scoffs. "He's not even sick, Jason."

"Uh huh, and where were you when Nate threw up in the bathroom? Oh, yeah. You were right there!"

"Well maybe it's because he ate too much food at once! Even I've done that before!"

"Well he told me that he didn't eat breakfast this morning because he didn't feel well. Nate, tell him you're sick."

"I'm… not sick," I say.

Jason rolls his eyes. Shane laughs.

"Ha!" Shane says. "I told you!"

"He's just saying he isn't because he doesn't want to disappoint you when we have to cancel the tour!"

Shane gasps. "We're canceling the tour!?"

I step in here. "No! No one is sick, and no one is canceling the tour!"

Jason huffs. "Say that again when you're begging me to make you more soup tomorrow!" He walks away, leaving Shane and I in an awkward silence.

"Can you say over dramatic much?" Shane whispers, turning up the volume on the TV.

I nod. "Tell me about it."

Shane and I watch TV until it gets late.

That's when I remember something. "Movie premier!" I randomly outburst.

"Shit!" Shane says, looking at his watch. "Why didn't anyone remind us? We're gonna be late!" He hops up from the couch and runs into the other room, saying, "Jason! Jason! We forgot about the movie!"

Jason comes into the room. "No, we didn't."

"Uh huh, we did," Shane says.

"We're not going because Nate's sick."

"No I'm not!" I yell.

"No-o-o!" Shane cries and falls to the ground. "But I want to go so-o-o bad!" He stands up and points an accusing finger at me. "This is all your fault!"

"How is it my fault?! Jason's the one saying I'm sick when I'm really just fine!" I defend, standing up.

Jason turns to me. "Nate, you lay back down right now!"

Good god.

I lay back down on the couch and cross my arms, huffing. I put on my best pouty face.

Shane scoffs. "Jason, he's not even sick."

"Yes he is! You're being selfish, Shane! You just want to go to the movie and that's why you're lying to me!" Jason yells.

"I'm not fucking lying to you!"

Jason gasps. "I cannot believe what you just said!"

"What?" Shane asks. "Fuck? Fuck fuckity fuck fuck."

"Shane! How dare you!"

Shane huffs. "Okay, Jason, I think you're taking this Disney G-rated thing a little too far."

"That's it, even if Nate were fine, you're not going to the movies, anyway!"

"But Jessica Alba's gonna be there!"

"I don't care if the Queen of England is gonna be there; you're not going!"

Shane starts crying. He falls to the ground and hangs onto Jason's legs. "No! I have to go! She's gonna be there!"

Jason starts shaking his leg, trying to get Shane off. "Shane, get off of me!"

"I promise I'll be good! I promise!"

"Stop acting so childish!"

"Please! I want to go!"

Mum and Dad come into the room.

"What's going on in here?" Mum asks.

Shane stands up. "Jason won't let me go to the movie!"

Mum looks confused. "Why?"

"Because Shane is being selfish!" Jason exclaims.

"Um…" Mum starts. "Shane, go to the movie; the limo's outside."

Shane runs as fast as he can upstairs and gets his tux on and then runs out the door.

Jason sighs. "I can't believe…" He gets dressed also, and leaves.

Mum comes over to me. "How are you feeling, sweetie? Any better?"

"A bit," I say.

She ruffles my hair. "Okay, well I'll get you some water."

"Actually," I say as she stands up. She turns around. "Can you take me to the movie?"

"Are you sure you feel well enough?" she asks.

I nod. "I'm fine."

She thinks about it for a second. "Okay… go get dressed. Meet me down here in five minutes."

I hop up off of the couch. "Thanks Mummy!" I race upstairs and get dressed as quickly as I could as I do not want to be even later than I already am.

I get downstairs in record time and Mum looks surprised. "I'm ready," I say.

"Oh, you look so handsome!" Mum says and comes over to me. She kisses the top of my head.

I push her away. "Okay, let's go before I'm late."

Mum grabs her car keys and I run to the garage.

"Hurry, hurry, hurry!" I call to my mum.

She laughs. "Calm yourself. You still have thirty minutes." She takes her sweet time into the car, but we finally leave and make it to the movie theater in record-breaking time.

Right when we pull up, I jump out of the car as fast as I could after saying, "Thanks, Mum!" and I go into the building.

I look around for a bit, but then spot Jason and Shane talking to Tess Tyler and Caitlyn Gellar. I go over to them. "Hi," I say.

They all turn to me and at the same time, say, "Nate!" but with all different tones.

"Glad you could make it," Caitlyn says.

Tess just smiles at me.

Shane nods.

And Jason says, "Nate, what are you doing here? You should be in bed, sleeping!"

"Jason. Chill. I'm fine," I laugh.

"No, Nate, you're not. The only way to get better is lots of rest, and this doesn't look like lots of rest to me." Jason grabs my arm. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"No," I say, twisting away from his grip. "Why don't you trust me?"

We both stop talking when we hear Shane gasp and yell, "Jessica!" and then run off.

I laugh.

Jason slaps my arm. "Seriously, Nate. We can't have you getting sicker than you already are. I'll call Mum and have her take you home."

"Jason, stop fussing!" I say. "I'm totally fine!" I slap his arm – payback for slapping mine.

"Ugh," Jason scoffs.

"So, anyway…" Caitlyn starts. We all turn to her. "Who wants to go eat before the movie starts?"

Everyone except me raises their hands.

"Okay then," she says. "Let's go."

We all head off into the banquet room together and get plates, going into the buffet line. Caitlyn loads up her plate with practically everything, but I just put a bit of salad on my plate and we sit down.

Caitlyn looks at my salad. "That's all you're gonna eat?"

I nod. "Yeah. Not hungry."

"Yeah," Jason says, "you're not hungry cause you're too sick to be here."

I roll my eyes. "I'm sorry I don't eat like an American. My friend once told me I'd be a good Polish person."

Caitlyn giggles and starts eating her pasta.

Jason just leers at me.

I take a bite of my salad.

Ha, in his face.

He looks away, shaking his head, and starts eating his bread.

Shane suddenly comes over to the table. "Oh my god, guys, you will never believe where I got Jessica Alba to autograph! Right on the side of my pen-"

"Shane!" Jason scolds.

"What?" Shane asks, sitting down. "She signed my pencil. See?" He takes a pencil out of his pocket and shows it to us.

Jason lets out a sigh of relief.

"Well that's pretty cool," Caitlyn says.

I look down at my plate.

I ate all of my salad.

"Excuse me," I say, standing up. "Gotta go to the piddly diddly department." I walk away from the table and go to the restroom. I look at myself in the mirror by the sinks.

I am so fat. I take a few moments to point out my flaws and when I was sure that no one was in any of the stalls, I go to the very last one and purge the salad I just ate.

"Nate!" I hear a voice. "Are you in here? The thing's about to start!"

I quickly flush the toilet and head out of the stall. I see Jason standing there. "Come on," he says. "You've been in here long enough."

"Let me wash my hands," I say, going over to the sink. I turn on the water and put my hands under it, but then look in the mirror and get lost with how incredibly fat and ugly I am.

"Um… Nate? Soap?"

I snap out of my trance and look over. "Yeah. Right. Soap." I put some pink liquid soap on my hand and try my hardest not to look in the mirror as I wash it off.

"Okay, we're holding up the show, let's go," Jason says.

But I had already looked up in the mirror and began to silently point out all the flaws, completely ignoring everything Jason had said.

Jason puts his hand on my shoulder. "Nate, are you okay?"

I turn around. "Yeah. Fine. I'm totally… fine."

He puts on his concerned face. "Why does your breath smell like vomit?"

I escape his clutches. "No reason," I say and take some paper towels.

"No. Nate. Did you throw up again?"

I don't respond.

"Oh, Nate…" Jason stands behind me and I can see it in the reflection of the paper towel dispenser.

"Look," I say, throwing the towels away and turning around, "it doesn't even matter."

Jason frowns. "I'll take you home and you can rest. Okay? If you sleep, you'll feel better by tomorrow."

"But… the movie…"

He shakes his head. "We can't have you throwing up on Jessica's shoes," he says, attempting to lighten the mood.

Hah. You're just so funny, Jason.

"But I feel fine now," I say.

"No buts. I'll take you home." He opens the door and we both walk out.

I sigh and follow him outside. He texts Shane and tells him that we're going home and Jason calls the limo driver and has him pick us up by the entrance.

When we hop in, I just stare out the window.

Jason looks over at me. "I'll get you feeling better in no time, Nate. Don't worry."

"It's not that… it's…" I was about to tell him the real reason why I can't keep food down, but I stopped myself.

"What?"

"Never mind."

"No, you can tell me."

"I said never mind. It was stupid anyway."

"No, nothing you say is stupid. Tell me, Nate. I'm your brother. You can trust me."

I can stay silent.

"Nate, I'd never get mad at you."

"You would if you knew the real reason."

Jason doesn't say anything after that and we get dropped off at our house. We walk inside and see Mum and Dad eating dinner at the dining table.

Dad looks at us. "I thought you guys were at the movies…?"

"Nate's still sick," Jason says.

Mum looks over with caring eyes. "I'm sorry, sweetie."

I just shake my head and Jason and I go upstairs.

"Bed," Jason says, opening the door to my room.

I sigh and just get under the covers of the bed as I don't want to get Jason even madder.

"Do you want to take off the tux?" he asks.

"I think I'm actually gonna take a shower," I say, getting out of bed.

"Okay," Jason says. "I'll stay right here."

"Stalker," I mutter soft enough so he couldn't hear, and I go into the bathroom, locking the door. I start running the water, getting it warmed up and then take off my clothes.

Right in front of the mirror.

I look at myself.

Is that really me?

How could I have gotten so fat and ugly?

I shake my head and go into the shower, closing my eyes.

Perfect?

Ha. Yeah.

I'm so perfect.