Okay... Last Chapter of Peanut Butter! Hope you've enjoyed it as much I did re-reading it! it makes me Lol everytime! :p

Summary: Will has a jar of Peanut Butter and refuses to share. Ironhide has Biscuits and refuses to share... Galloways there, and so is Glen.. Not sure why... He just is.

Warnings: Uhm... Lots of swearing and such... Suggestive themes... All that garb. :D SLASH! YOU HAS BEEN WARNED! IF YOU DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ! SIMPLES!

Disclaimer: Uhhh... -braindead- yeah... Not Mine. However I do own a jar of Peanut Butter and I did see a GMC topkick once. :D

CHAPTER THREE

Graham raised his sunglasses so that he could see clearly. "Hey Epps, Will and Ironhide are coming back."

"Aw yeahhhhh. Maybe they can help me dance to single lay- wait.. Is Ironhide holding a spade?" Epps asked, squinting.

"By the looks of it." Graham answered. "Maybe... he's going to build a sandcastle?"

"With a spade?"

"You never know..."

"right.. I'm not convinced" Epps said sitting down in the sand

"Why not? What else would he do with a spade?" Graham asked. "Besides burying bodies, anyway."

"He might kill someone with it, but to be fair, I don't think he needs a spade to do it, he's huge!" Epps commented.

"hey guys!" will said, as soon as he got close enough,

"hey man" Epps said. "hey, Ironhide... why have you got a spade?"

"Because Will said I could chase you around the beach with it to get rid of the bad mental images." Ironhide grinned and shifted the spade to his other hand. "So start running."

"Shit. Imma kill you Will" Epps said before he started running across the beach.

"bahahaha. Awesome" Will said. Ironhide charged after Epps. Will went and sat next to Graham in the sand and opened a can of beer.

"So why did you let Ironhide chase Epps?" Graham asked.

"Because Morshower and Galloway are fucking. And we only found out until me and Ironhide were rolling around on the floor and Galloway had a go and Morshower turneds up and Galloway's hair was ruffled... it mentally scared him... so he said the only way to stop the images is to chase Epps around on the beach with a spade"

"Okay... I don't really understand how that works but... fair enough. As long as Ironhide leaves him intact." Graham sighed. "I guess I'll have lots of bruises to kiss better later."

"haha, I think Ironhide is just gunna rape me. Well... consensual rape" will laughed.

"You can't have consensual rape." Graham scoffed.

"Shut your face" Will fell back and layed back on the sand.

"Haha." Epps ran past them

"can someone PLEASE stop him!" Epps asked.

"Sorry Epps, but I'm not moving." Graham replied. "Keep running, with those hairless legs of yours."

"Hairless?" Will asked watching Ironhide run after Epps like a mad serial killer.

"Yeah... he shaves his legs." Graham burst out laughing, then turned deadly serious. "Don't you dare tell him I told you that."

"Why not?"

"Because he'll probably kill me. He wants to appear all manly and everything."

"fair enough" Will sat up and called over to Ironhide "Ironhide? Thats enough now hunny, come on, you'll wear yourself out, come sit down with a beer"

Ironhide stopped and watched Epps run, then turned to face Will. "Will, you know I don't tire out. I'll be back soon." He called, then continued to chase Epps.

"I know. I just want you back" Will said to know one in particular, and then to Graham "sand isn't particularly comfortable"

"I know. But what else are we going to do?"

"I dunno. Call Epps over, he'll tire out easier than Ironhide." Will said.

"YO, EPPS!" Graham called.

"Yah Babe?" Epps shouted, whilst running from Ironhide.

"GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE."

"OKAY" Epps ran over to Graham and sat down next to his lover. And pecked him on the cheek. "Hey darling"

Ironhide ran over and dropped his spade and rubbed his hands together. "Well that was fun."

"was it sweetheart?" Will asked. "Come here. I want to lean on you"

"Yes, it was fun." He sat down in the sand beside Will. Will leant on Ironhide and kissed his cheek. "Did you have fun?"

"Oh, Yeah. Graham and I drank beer. OH and ironhide?"

"Yes?" Ironhide asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Can I have a puppy? PLEASE? Ohhhh pretty please?" will asked.

"..." Ironhide glared at Will. "No you fucking can't."

"Oh.. Why?"

"BECAUSE – I don't want to be full of dog hair when I have to drive you and this puppy everywhere, I don't want it having accidents on my backseat, who's going to look after it when we're away?" Ironhide took a deep breath. "And I hate animals."

"Well... We'll train him and I'm sure Prowl won't mind taking him when we go somewhere, and we can get Morshower to look after the puppy. AND WHY DO YOU HATE ANIMALS?" will shouted.

"Because they're small and annoying."

"They can be cute and fluffy. Like you" Will said kissing Ironhide.

"I AM NOT CUTE AND FLUFFY." Ironhide spluttered and jumped up on his feet and stormed away.

"wha? IRONHIDE! COME BACK!" Will shouted and ran after Ironhide.

"shit man!" Epps said.

"Well come on..." Graham rolled his eyes. "Ironhide isn't cute and fluffy is he?"

"He is in will's eyes. Always has been" Epps said.

"Yes but... why cute and fluffy? He's big, strong, manly and British." Graham grinned. "Just like me."

"sure, he can be like you, if you took out the big and manly bit. And Will sees past the big bad destructiveness of ironhide. Whereas you arn't big and destructive"

"Oh really?" Graham asked. "I did destroy your bed last night."

"Oh yeah... Good tymez. Oh well... they'll sort it out eventually"

"They always do." Graham pecked Epps on the lips.

Will was running after Ironhide. "Ironhide... For fucks sake... will you stop?"

"No." Ironhide continued walking.

"why not?"

"Because I just need a walk."

"is it because I called you cute and fluffy"

"Partly."

"Come on... Tell me whats wrong"

"It's nothing. Really, just leave me to clear my head. I'll be back in about half an hour."

"Can I come with you babe"

"No... I just want to be alone."

"oh. Okay then" Will turned on his heel and walked off.

Graham looked at Will as he returned. "What's up? You look pissed."

"Ironhide.. Just... Wrote me off... He told me that he wanted to be left alone" Will said, Plonking himself down on the sand.

"Well, sometimes people do just want to be alone." Graham shrugged. "I'm sure he'll be fine again later."

"I hope so" Will said getting a beer from Graham.

"Stop being so pessimistic. He does this all the time. You know he'll be fine." Graham said, punching Will on the shoulder as men do when they're upset or comforting each other.

"Graham... Stop trying to be a man" Epps chuckled.

"I am a man!" Graham's eyes narrowed. "At least I don't shave my legs."

"You Bastard" Epps glared at Graham. "you said you wouldn't tell"

"dude... I already know" will laughed.

"Please don't hurt me." Graham whimpered, edging away from Epps.

"I'm gonna hurt you."

"Oh shit."

"Yeah. Oh shit" Epps said. Glaring at Graham.

"Will... feel like protecting me...?" Graham asked, glancing at the other soldier.

"No... I got my own problems to deal with... Protect yourself"

"Fine." Graham sighed. He had been trying to make Will forget about the Ironhide thing and just have some fun. "See you later." Graham squeaked as he jumped up and ran away.

"You're not really gonna hurt him are you?" Will asked the black man.

"Nahh, I'm just gonna fuck him senseless" Epps grinned. He looked over the beach and spotted Ironhide come back. "Dude. Here comes Ironhide. I'm gonna go and see what happened to Graham"

"I just saw Graham run past me." Ironhide said as he sat down in the sand and crossed his legs. "You should be able to catch him."

"Uhh... He's running away from me" Epps said. "Bye guys!" Epps ran away.

"So. It's just us." Ironhide said.

"Yup" Will said.

"Are you mad at me?" Ironhide asked.

"Yes. I am fucking mad at you"

"Oh here we go." Ironhide rolled his eyes. "Whenever I get mad you get to whine and be all like 'oh Ironhide, I'm so sorry' then when I get mad and go away to make sure I don't end up killing any of you by accident you get pissed at me."

"I don't do that. I wanted to make sure you were okay. All I said was that I didn't see you as a big bad killing machine."

"There's more to it all than that, Will." Ironhide snapped. "For fuck's sake, it always has to be about you. Do you really want to know why I was pissed off?"

"Do it."

"Because I'm jealous, okay?" Ironhide fumed. "I'm jealous of you and Epps and Graham. I don't ever feel like I fit in... I mean... I'm an alien robot and you're all humans. I just feel like an outsider and I wish I had friends like that. Sure, the rest of the Autobots are meant to be my friends but... I don't really feel close to them either. I just needed some time to myself."

"Babe. You're not an outsider. You do fit in. To be fair. Epps and Graham wouldn't be around if they weren't your friends. They don't piss around like that. If you felt like that, why didn't you just tell me?"

"Will – this is me. I have problems expressing my feelings unless it's anger." Ironhide reminded the other man. "And I didn't feel like I could tell you. I was scared of how you would react. You might've ditched me for them. You might've eaten about seven more jars of peanut butter... have you even finished the first one?"

"Yes I did... Oh by the way, We need more peanut butter. And I wouldn't. You just need to learn how to communicate better thats all. I know Graham and Epps won't mind helping if you want it"

"I can communicate just fine." Ironhide insisted.

"I mean... Communicate better within the people"

"Oh. Right." Ironhide said. "As long as I don't have to communicate with Galloway I'll be fine."

"what's wrong with Galloway... He's a babe!" Will exclaimed.

"I. Cannot. Believe. You. Just. Said. That."

"sorry... Uhm... Whats wrong with Galloway then?"

"... Do you seriously like Galloway... in... that way?" Ironhide asked disgust.

"No... Morshower does"

"... I really hate you sometimes." Ironhide grimaced.

"no thats a lie... isn't it Ironhide?"

"Don't patronise me."

"I'm not patronising"

"It sounds like you are."

"I'm not... Honest"

"Good. I want a peanut butter sandwich."

"MY PEANUT BUTTER!"

"Why can't I have any?"

"Because" Will explained, grinning like a moron.

"Because what?"

"Because... its mine"

"So? I shared my biscuits with you."

"You didn't... I had to steal them from you. Then you tore off the roof in the bathroom... which you need to fix... again"

"I didn't say I shared them willingly."

"Fuck your face" Will said poking his tongue out at Ironhide.

"Please, do it for me." Ironhide smirked.

"No. Just... No."

"Ha ha." Ironhide pulled Will into his arms. "So, how about we find Epps and Graham and tell them we're buggering off home to eat peanut butter?"

"... Only if I can eat peanut butter off your chest?"

"..." Ironhide blinked at Will. "What the fuck are you waiting for?"

"waiting for us to get home"

"Well let's go!" Ironhide said, jumping to his feet. "Oh fuck – we need to tell Epps and Graham we're going... erm... hey! Glen's over there! Let's tell him to tell them when they eventually get back."

"Uhh... lets not... Uhm... ill call him!" Will wacked out his phone and dialled Epps's number.

"hello?" Epps answered.

"hey Epps, me and Ironhide are heading off home so I can eat peanut butter off his chest" will said. There was a drawn out silence.

"Dude... Too much information.. just... go. Leave me alone" Epps said. and then he hung up.

"Can we go now?" Ironhide asked.

"Yes... Yes we can"

-End-

WOOT WOOT! It's finished! Hope you enjoyed it! And, ICaughtMyself; We REALLY need to start a new one... Maybe a Leo/Sam? Or a Leo/Simmons? Not fussed.

:D Review? Cyber!Cookies up for grabs!

xxDarknessxx