Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Couples Therapy

One Last Chance?

****

Edward's Point of View.

I heard it ring for a mere few seconds before being disconnected. She'd obviously seen it was me calling and thought 'fuck that' before cancelling the call.

I couldn't blame her but it pissed me off. I slammed my phone down onto the counter in Carlisle and Esme's kitchen. "Fuck!"

"No joy huh?" Emmett asked. He and Rosalie just happened to be there when I decided to drop in on the folks.

"She hung up on me."

Rosalie put a cup of coffee near me. "No more than you deserve, you stupid fucking idiot," she pointed out calmly.

I bit my lip. "Rosalie, I know I've fucked up my marriage I don't need you to keep reminding me."

"Yeah babe," Emmett smiled. "Give the guy a break."

"I'd love to give him a break," she snarled. "His arm would do nicely."

I rolled my eyes. "Thank sis, really."

"Don't expect me to feel sorry for you, Edward" Rosalie said. "You deserve everything you get after the way you've treated her lately. If I were Bella, you'd still be trying to pull a hairdryer out of your ass."

Wow, she certainly had a way with words that was for sure. I was about to retort when I heard Esme's voice.

"Rosalie," Esme walked into the kitchen followed by Carlisle. "Thank you for that, your descriptive means of punishment." Emmett swung an arm around his girlfriend, clearly proud of her. Bastard. Esme looked at the both of them. "Would you excuse us, please? Your father and I would like to talk to Edward alone."

Oh fuck.

Rosalie smirked at me. Bitch. I know I deserved everything I got lately but she was making things just that little bit harder.

"Sure," she replied taking Emmett's hand. "Later Edward," she said in a fake voice, before both of them left the kitchen.

When they were gone, Carlisle folded his arms and Esme looked at me reproachfully.

"What?" I asked trying to sound innocent.

"Well?" Esme questioned.

"I've tried, she won't answer the phone to me," I replied.

"Now what?" Carlisle asked, in a hope that I had some sort of back up plan.

I didn't.

"Now what nothing," I said flatly. "She took off and I have no idea where she's gone."

Well that was a lie. I had a pretty good idea of where she went but I couldn't face going there at the moment. If I saw him any time soon I'd want to kill the cunt. He might have buffed up but I couldn't really give a fuck to be honest. I was still crazier, meaning I'd rip his head off without battering an eyelid given half the chance.

Even though I knew that most of our problems were my fault, it was partly his that our marriage was in such a mess to begin with. Yet, she still goes there for comfort, even after she told me he made a move on her. Thanks honey.

"Edward?" Esme tapped me.

"Sorry."

"What's going on?" she asked seriously.

"I already told you," I replied confused. "At therapy this morning I said..."

"We're not talking about this morning, Edward," Carlisle interrupted me. "We are talking about what's been going on with you and Bella as a whole."

"We refuse to sit back and let you hurt that poor girl anymore than you have already," Esme added. "Now what is going on?"

I fucked up, that's what's going on. I fucked up badly.

"I made a mistake," I croaked. "And I'm just...trying to deal with it the best way I know how."

"What kind of mistake?" Carlisle narrowed his eyes.

I shook my head at my stupidity. "Something that I thought was happening...wasn't. I reacted in a way that I shouldn't have."

"What does that mean?" Esme asked.

"It means...what it means," I replied dumbly. "Look I'm sorry ok? I just don't feel comfortable talking about this with you."

"Or your wife it seems," Carlisle commented.

I rolled my eyes once more but didn't say anything else.

"Ok, fine," Esme conceded. "But I'm warning you Edward, to think long and hard about whatever it is that you are doing, because this can't go on any longer. I understand that this is hard for you both, but you seem to be the only one with answers. It's destroying both you and Bella, and I'm not sure how much more either of you can take.

They gave me one more disappointed look, and then left the room.

Esme was right. I certainly didn't know how much more I could take that was for sure.

I wanted to make this whole situation better, but I was also being selfish. I had to wait till the time was right to tell Bella the truth; or should I say when I was completely prepared to lose her for good, which I was sure I would.

I loved Bella with every fibre of my being, and I feel sick to my stomach when I think about how I've treated her for the past year, but it was like I needed her to be angry at me so that I could feel better about myself.

See. Selfish.

Every time things got slightly better between us I fucked it up again on purpose, purely because I didn't deserve her love, or kindness and affection. Not when I couldn't face telling her just yet what I had done.

It was a fucked up way of living, but I was prepared to take a Bella who was slowly beginning to hate me, than not have one at all.

I knew it had to end sooner or later.

I am so fucked up.

****

I went back home a few hours later and found that Bella still wasn't there. I sat in the living room praying that she would come home tonight. I tried calling her cell another five times only to be disconnected again and again.

She had only stayed out overnight a few times since we were married, usually after a heated argument. But this morning was different. It wasn't an argument per se, more like an exchange of cruel words. It was the first time she had looked at me with that amount of pain in her eyes since I'd known her. And after everything that was going on between us lately that was going some. I only said what I said this morning because I'm a spoilt brat that doesn't like to lose arguments no matter how much in the wrong I am.

I didn't believe that she would stay at Jake's if that was where she was today. She had plenty of options, Jasper and Alice's house for one. That was where she usually ended up when she spent the night away from me. They, like Emmett and Rosalie, had taken Bella's side through this whole thing, not that they would admit to it. But it was obvious.

I waited and waited.

I waited some more and looked at the clock which read 12.17am, and was just about to give up hope when I heard the front door open.

She had come home after what had happened this morning.

Now I feel even more like shit.

I stood up from the couch and waited for her to appear. When she did, it was clear she was surprised to see me just standing here.

"Hi," I didn't know what else to say.

She just stared at me.

"I was worried about you," I said truthfully.

She scoffed as though that wasn't possible. "Oh please, spare me."

That hurt.

"I'm sorry I kept calling you I just...wanted to explain what happened this morning," I told her. "That and I wanted to know you were safe."

"What is this, Edward?" she asked me flatly.

"What?" I questioned innocently. I was worried about her.

"This doting husband crap?!" she fumed. "It doesn't suit you, not anymore!"

That hurt too. I used to be the doting husband before our relationship hit the skids and I desperately wanted to be again.

"Bella..."

"This isn't working!" she cried in complete frustration.

Please no.

I walked over to her and was ecstatic when she didn't move away. "We can save this, I know we can."

Her anger seemed to fade and be replaced with what looked like regret. "I can't keep doing this Edward, surely you can understand that?"

"Of course I do," I did completely. "But...remember what the shrink said, about how it's not going to be easy, that the sessions can be painful at times, but the main thing is that we find a way to be honest with each another."

God I was a fucking hypocrite too.

But still I carried on. "It's the only way we can fix this. And Bella, I have to fix this, because I really don't know how I could live without you."

She rolled her eyes. "You've been doing fine this past year."

Yep. I walked straight into that one.

"Fine, but even you have to admit that we've been talking a lot more recently. I've even been finishing work earlier so that we can spend more time together," I pointed out.

"Not because you wanted to if your comment this morning was anything to go by," she said icily.

"Bella," I said shaking my head. "I didn't mean it...the way it sounded."

"How else could you mean it?"

"I've been running away from our problems...not you. Never you."

It was true what I had just told her. In some fucked up way. I never wanted to be away from her, I just did it as a way of punishing myself for what I'd done.

"Edward, what is it that you want from me?" She sounded so tired.

"I just want us...to keep going to therapy. I really think that it's working." She didn't seem convinced. "Just once more then, next week. If after that you still think its pointless then..." I trailed off dreading where my train of thought was going; I didn't even want to think about it.

"Then...what?" she asked shakily.

Damn.

"Then I will do whatever you want."

I watched as she thought about lord knows what and then nod at me.

"Fine," she agreed. "But you fuck up this time Edward, I swear..."

"I won't."

Forgive me Bella. I will tell you...eventually.

****