A/N: This one, is dedicated to my mother...well, it's inspired by her. Enjoy the randomness!

Octopus

Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Fletcher, Ghastly and Solomon (whom Valkyrie invited) were sat in Ghastly's front room, watching Germany and Uruguay in the World Cup. Fletcher was enjoying himself, but ironically, it was Tanith who was stuck in the ktichen getting the snacks for everyone.

"Come on Uruguay!" Fletcher practically roared. "Whoop those Nazi's asses!"

"Fletcher" Skulduggery warned.

"Germany are actually really good football players, Fletcher," Valkyrie informed him, raising an eyebrow.

Fletcher blew a raspberry at her.

"The Germans are good at alot of things," Solomon said dreamily, playing with his shirt collar while watching the screen.

"Please Solomon, now is not the time for one of your 'Back when I was a homosexual' stories," Ghastly said bitchily, rolling his eyes.

Solomon glared at him. "I was talking about women that time, actually."

Ghastly smirked. "That time?"

"Tanith!" Fletcher called into Ghastly's kitchen. "Have you got those nachos ready yet?"

"Almost, Fletcher!" Tanith yelled back, rather irritably.

"And Tanith?" Ghastly also called. "Would you mind fixing me up a crisp sandwich?"

"Bite me, Ghastly!" Tanith called. Fletcher snorted. Ghastly frowned.

"What I do?" he asked, confused.

"Ghastly, this whole on-off thing you've got going on with Tanith," Valkyrie began with a sigh. "It's really pissing us off."

"I agree," Skulduggery agreed.

"It's getting old, Gas-man," Fletcher concurred, giving Ghastly's arm a pat.

Ghastly threw up his arms in dismay. "I don't even know what I've done half the time. She just snaps on me."

"What about the other half of the time?" Solomon asked. Ghastly hesitated then shrugged.

"Well...apparently I have a tendency to be a bit pigheaded."

"Apparently?" Valkyrie scoffed.

"Tendency?" Fletcher echoed.

"A bit?" Skulduggery added.

"Shut up," Ghastly mumbled.

Tanith came in then, crisp sandwich in hand, a pout on her lips, eyes narrowed dangerously. Ghastly tried a smile.

"Thanks Tanith," he said meekly.

Tanith slammed the sandwich on the table, then straightened up indignantly.

"There," she said airily, then spat, "Bon appetit."

With that, she swept breezily from the room to fix up Fletcher's nachos. For a few moments there was nothing but the sound of the match. Solomon and Skulduggery played with their suits awkwardly, Solomon trying not to smile. Valkyrie bit a thumbnail and looked at Ghastly. Fletcher rubbed his upper lip, hiding a smirk.

"Um, Gaz," he said eventually, leaning toward him. Ghastly was looking at the crisp sandwich, considering whether or not it could be poisoned."Why do I get the feeling that, in Women's language, 'Bon appetit' means 'I hope you fucking choke'?"

Skulduggery considered that for a moment, then said. "Actually Fletcher, you may be right."

"What, that 'Bon appetit' means 'I hope you fucking choke?'" Valkyrie confirmed.

"Indeed," Skulduggery said with a nod.

"I resent that," Valkyrie said with a frown.

"As do I," Solomon said, rooting out his phone. "But let's experiment, shall we?"

The others watched as he switched his phone to loud speaker and scrolled through his phonebook.

"Who you calling?" F;etcher asked. Solomon winked but said nothing. Skulduggery realised.

"Oh," he said.

"What do you want Solomon?" China's voice asked, sounding bored. Solomon smiled.

"You, China," he replied suavely.

"Why does that not surprize me?"

"To do something for me," he continued, Fletcher lowering the TV's volume. "See, I'm a little strapped for cash but I'm at a party and have to pitch in for a large pizza. So I was wondering, my darling China...could you drop into Domino's for me and collect a pizza, and then drop it here?"

The request was preposterous, as China's silence on the other end of the phone indicated. Then she finally spoke.

"You want me, to drop into Dominos pizza for you, pick up a pizza, for you, pay for it, for you, drop it to wherever this party of yours is, for you, give it to you and then go back to work?"

Solomon paused for a moment, then said, "Could you?"

Silence.

"I'll pay you back for it, I promise," he added. " And you could join us if you like."

"I'd rather not," China said with a sigh. "Where is this party being held, exactly?"

"Ghastly Bespoke's place."

"Right..."

"Oh, and, China, that's a large pizza with all the toppings, okay? Thank you. I owe you one."

"Right," she said again through gritted teeth, and then added. "Bon appetit."

Then she hung up.

Solomon blinked at the phone for a moment, then looked up at Fletcher.

"Fletcher, my boy," he began, with a smirk. "You know women."

Fletcher grinned. "I know I do."

Tanith came in then with nachos in one hand and a glass of coke for Fletcher in the other.

"There you go," she said curtly, smacking them down on the coffee table in front of him. "Now I'll just go in to get all your drinks and those posh Bistro crisps Solomon requested."

"They're delicious," Solomon mumbled, tapping his phone to his lips for some reason.

Valkyrie bit her bottom lip as Tanith was turning back to the kitchen, then spoke up.

"Tanith!"

Tanith turned. "Yeah?"

"Do you, um, want a hand carrying stuff?" Valkyrie asked.

"Oh no Val, I can manage," Tanith insisted with a beaming smile. She then waved her two hands by her sides, flailing them and shaking them out, before randomly saying, again with that insane grin,

"Octopus!"

She glared at the men in the room, the smile dropped, and then strode from the room.

A/N: Random? You should meet my mom:D