A/n: Lots of cursing in this one, but hey...it's in Puck's POV what did you expect? Also it's a tad short, other chapters with be way longer!

I am really happy with all of you who liked the first chapter, so here is number two (:

Chapter 2: Remorse and Guilt

[Noah]

I felt like fucking hell. I couldn't sleep, eat, or function properly. The guilt seeped through my body and every time I closed my eyes I saw the love of my life alone with friends, family, and acquaintances on one of the most important moments of life. The moment I saw her backing carefully out of 'our' apartment weighed down with bags full of her stuff I froze, my heart clenching. I squeezed my eyes shut, standing in the same place until I felt her bump into me with a 'umph'.

"Puck?"

I winced at her use of Puck, she never calls me Puck. To her I'm Noah and I like it that way. The tears in her voice made my heart drop to my stomach. I didn't know how to act or what to say to her, so I settled with a soft, "Hey Rach."

When I turned to look at her, she looked so...tired. Her eyes were glazed over, but she still looked just as beautiful as the last time I saw her. She let go of all of the bags and suitcases, letting them fall softly to the pavement. I reached out to pull her into my arms, but she whipped out of my touch so quickly my eyes widened, when she spoke her voice was pure ice, "Don't you dare touch me."

"Rachel I-"

"You don't get to talk to me. You don't get to fucking explain, Puck." She yelled in a frustrated tone, pure venom seeping through her words. I watched with wide eyes as her eyes squinted in pure fury, tears pooling in her hazel eyes, threatening to leak down her soft rosy cheeks. Her breathing became ragged, as she looked at me almost completely hysterical, "I don't even want tolook at you. You fucking humiliated me."

"I'm sorry."

She let out a humorless, mocking laugh, "Yeah, oh I know. That's all your fucking note said. 'I'm sorry'. No explanation, fucking nothing."

"I'm sorry."

"You broke me." She let out a whimper and at that moment I wanted to kill myself. This was not the strong Rachel Berry I know. She was ruined, broken. It was me who fucking broke her.I thought back to a couple weeks ago, I would've been endlessly teasing her about cursing for like the first time ever. Now it's all just fucked up.

I sighed shakily, keeping my emotions in check. Badasses like myself, do not show emotion. In this case however I wanted to tell her exactly how I felt about her, "I love you, Rachel."

She looked to her shoes dejected. I knew she was crying and she didn't want me to notice, but she can't hide anything from me. I put my hand on her shoulder softly, "God, I love you so fucking much Rachel. I really do."

"Could've fooled me."

I sighed brokenly, frustrated that I couldn't do anything to remedy the situation. I ran a shaky hand through my buzzed hair, "Please, Rachel. Just let me explain everything, lets have one of those important talks you always want to have with the pie charts and pro and con lists. Please, I'm fucking begging you."

"No." She said stubbornly, her voice cracking pathetically. "I know you're begging me, but I'm begging you; Don't do this to me right now. Please, I can't take it right now. Just let me go, okay?"

I looked straight into her wet, hazel eyes and I knew I couldn't deny her. Her eyes were begging, no pleading with me to let her go, to not push her into more heartache and pain. I knew there was absolutely no way I could deny her of what she was asking. "Okay."

She muttered something under her breath that I couldn't understand, but I decided against asking her what she said. I grabbed all of the bags she was carrying minus one suitcase and I stuffed them into the trunk of her black Prius. I watched as she drove off, keeping track of her car as it followed the carefully paved road until I could no longer physically see it. I stayed rooted on the side walk, unable to move. I really hated what I did. I despised myself, really. The fact that I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me, ate at me day and night. I really wish I could say I had a terrific reason for calling everything off last minute, but I don't.

The night before the wedding, I laid in the bed alone while Rachel was at Quinn's with the rest of the girls. I contemplated what was going to happen the next day, trying to picture me in my tux standing up front waiting for Rachel to walk towards me dressed in white. I couldn't picture it.

I tried to picture it for fucking hours. Squeezing my eyes shut, concentrating hard. Nothing.

I panicked, but I knew that generally it really wasn't that big of a deal. Seriously though, big fucking deal, you couldn't picture the day in your head. But then, I just thought of how fucking huge the wedding got. Rachel hiring Kurt to plan, a guest list of like a million-and-fucking-thousand, vows to write and say in front of everyone. I didn't know what to do, I felt like I was suffocating. So I went to bed, thought a good nights sleep would fix everything.

Yeah, right.

I woke up and everything hit me full force. I thought about how much Rachel didn't even deserve someone like me. Someone who would even second guess being skeptical of getting married to her. I know that's bullshit, but I just felt so god damn nervous that morning. I really wanted, and still want to spend the rest of my pathetic fucking life with her, no doubt about it...but how good at that would I be? I never thought about those things when I proposed. What can I say? I'm a fucking dumbass. I knew I would be no good for her. Bringing her down, ruining her chances of becoming famous. Hell, I didn't want her to wake up one morning and resent me for ruining her dreams. Now that I see that breaking off the wedding did not help her one bit, it fucking destroyed Rachel. Now it's destroying me.

I'm going to fix everything. I am.

0o0o0o0

"Man, you fucked up. Like majorly."

I scoffed at Finn, rolling my eyes. "Don't you think I fucking know that?"

"No man," He said putting a hand on my shoulder. "I mean you really, really fucked up. I just got back from Quinn's."

"Stop making me feel even more guilty than I already am." I sighed and rubbed my temples, "What happened when you were there?"

I noticed the sad look in Finn's eyes and immediately realized I didn't want to know what happened when he was there, "I saw Rachel."

"And...?"

"I've never seen someone so...sad. She looked terrible man, she was just like sitting there emotionless. Her eyes were like bloodshot." Finn frowned slightly, "She basically didn't even acknowledge I was there. She just stared at me spaced out and gave me a nod. She looks like she got less sleep than you've been getting, plus she looked so small, like she lost a lot of weight. "

I let out a shaky breath and shut my eyes, fucking Finn just had to make me feel even worse than I already did. It's been a week since our bad encounter, and I felt even worse than I did before. "I really don't want to fucking hear this, Finn."

"I'm sorry, dude...but seeing her like that made me want to kick your ass."

"I know, I want to kick my own ass," I looked at the ground and sighed again. "Do you think there's anything I can do?"

"I really don't know, if I were you i'd talk to Quinn. I mean she knows exactly how Rachel has been doing since the 'wedding.' I think she'd honestly know what would be good for Rachel right now." Finn suggested wisely.

"That might be the first smart thing you've ever said!" I smiled at my best friend and hit him on the back, "Thanks bro."

0o0o0o0

It took me three days after Finn's suggestion to find my nuts and call Quinn. I'm not scared, I'm fucking not. I'm just, nervous I guess. Badasses get nervous some times, right?

I scrolled down to Quinn's number on my phone and hovered over it for a couple seconds until I finally just pressed the green call button. It rang three times before she answered in a sharp whisper, "What do you want?"

I sighed at her icy tone, it was nothing I wasn't expecting, "I want to talk."

"If you think you're talking to Rachel, you are absolutely crazy."

"No, I don't want to talk to her. Well I do, but I don't expect to." I spoke into the phone clearly as I paced the entire apartment, "I just wanted to talk to you about everything. I feel fucking awful. I didn't want to ruin everything like I did, I swear I really didn't. I just need to you to listen to me."

I heard her breathy sigh on the other end of the phone, "I'm listening."

"I want to hear your opinion. I know I fucked up, like majorly, but do you think I still have a chance with Rachel? What can I do to make everything better? I feel like a fucking dick. The fact that I hurt her makes me want to throw myself off a bridge. I just want everything to go back to normal, I miss her so fucking much. I love her more than anything and I'm not afraid to say it, no matter how big of a pussy it makes me sound like."

I heard her take a deep breath as if contemplating exactly what to say to me, "Puck, you have to listen to me. I know you're sorry, I can tell. And I know you love her, but back off. If your 'not afraid to say it, no matter how big of a pussy it makes you sound like' then why did you leave her there with nothing but a fucking note? The look on her face broke my heart, it was like she couldn't breath. You need to give her time, room to breath without you for a while. She can't deal with this right now, she's too angry and heartbroken."

"Do you think she'll come back to me, Quinn?" I knew my voice sounded desperate and broken, but I really didn't care.

"I don't know, I can't tell you." She spoke softly, "I think you really broke her."

"I know."

0o0o0o0

A/n: I know this is like extremely depressing, but it will get better...eventually! Haha Anyways, this is mostly going to alternate every chapter, next chapter will be Rachel and then the chapter after that will be Puck etc...

REVIEW! It will make me update sooner, I'm not even kidding. So please, please REVIEW (: