Yay! I reached 100 :D:D Thanks so much for reviewing it really does mean a lot. I wanted to post and finish this before i went away but i actually have the next two chapters planned [the last few i've been writing of the top my head, almost] including the letter revelation ;]

So yeah its coming sooooooon ;D Hope you enjoy this!

Oh and a few of you kinda hated on Emmett which was not what i wanted so hopefully you wont hate him so much after this chapter;]

Chapter 9

EPOV

I couldn't believe Emmett. I wasn't talking to him. I hadn't been for the last week. To just bring it up like that, it was inappropriate and it wasn't the right time. I didn't know if there was ever going to be a right time. But still, my relationship with Bella had increased, whilst I had been here we were becoming friends. Heck, we had even decided to go on a road trip together, there were other people coming too but no doubt they would be too busy jumping each others bones they would hardly notice us, which in turn would make it like it would only be me and Bella. Not that I was complaining. I loved the idea in fact. I wasn't surprised when my dad revealed he had to cancel the trip, he had been working hard recently, trying to mesh well with the new hospital. From what I heard it was going well.

I was glad my father mentioned the girls too come, that was the best idea he had had in a long time! It was a few weeks away but I still couldn't wait. Now all I needed to do was fix mine and Bella's friendship first, no thanks to Emmett it was all awkward now. She didn't go to the library everyday or if she did, she changed her schedule so I wouldn't see her, the few times I did see her, she walked away almost straight away. I guess that means no more coffee breaks then.

I had been thinking of that night every night, wanting to rip Emmett to shreds for even bringing it up. What was he thinking? Just bringing it up as if it was no big deal. It was a big deal. It was a big fucking deal to me! It was my life that was ripped up because of the selfishness of one person!

"Did you ever find out who sent the letters?" I couldn't believe the awkwardness that now filled the room. How everything was normal again, felt like old times. It surprised me how just one question manage to take away the last few weeks like they had never happened. But as I thought over the question, I wasn't so surprised by it after all. It was one of the things both Bella and me felt the most uncomfortable discussing, right before the relationship we used to have. I tried not to look at Bella but I couldn't help it. It was like an invisible magnetic pull, pulling me closer and closer to her. I flicked my eyes at her, quickly looking at the plant behind her to try to make it so it wasn't too obvious I was staring.

I failed. But there was no shame in trying, right? I let my eyes glaze over her. It took a few minutes but she soon reciprocated. She looked at me and I could see it. The tears that were beginning to fill her eyes. I clenched my fists and turned to glare at Emmett. How dare he make Bella cry?

Everybody was feeling out of sorts now, I could feel it. My mother had let out a small gasp, surprised and stunned by Emmett. We all were. Rosalie was furious, she was now glaring. It didn't take much too get Rosalie mad but I had never seen this kind of fury in her eyes before.

Alice and Jasper were quiet, Emmett was smiling – sort of, unaware of the atmosphere he had caused. Fucking jackass.

"Erm…I think its t-time I should g-go." Great, now she was leaving. Bella stood up, grabbing her purse, she stumbled for a second and I made my way too stand up immediately. "Thanks for the dinner…" She was going to say something else but decided against it, she turned to leave and I could hardly believe no one was going to follow her. This was my chance. I moved my chair with such a force, I didn't realise I had and headed towards the door. I couldn't just let her leave!

"Bella wait!" She had just opened the door to leave and we were both left in the deserted hallway. She turned towards me, her eyes not looking up, but looking at the floor. I sighed; I really didn't want this to fuck up our 'friendship'. I couldn't risk losing her again. I headed towards her and she stumbled back. "Bella, please." She didn't look up; I took her hands into my own. "Talk to me. Lets not allow the past to ruin this." She shrugged. "Bella." I pleaded.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I don't know what to say." I relented but I didn't want to drop out hands, instead I let go of one and placed it under her chin, lifting it up. There were soft droplets of water running down her cheeks, she squeezed her eyes shut and more fell. I went to wipe them away but she placed her hand on my own.

"Don't."

"Bella?"

"I can't let myself get involved with you again, Edward. I just can't." She was looking at me now. Looking straight into my eyes, I knew that she could see everything. "I don't want to get hurt again."

"Bella. I would never hurt you." I leaned it, anxious to what she would do or how she would react. It was a slight movement but I caught it. She tilted her chin. She wanted me to kiss her. I know it. I pressed my lips against hers softly. It felt like the last three years of my life were just washing away before me. I wanted to stay like this forever and I didn't care how corny that sounded. But it was over. She was pulling away.

"No, I can't. I'm sorry Edward." She turned away, heading right out of the door and back to her own dorm. I knew that I should run after her but I also knew she wouldn't want me too. I needed to insist that she mustn't walk home by herself but it wasn't dark like before. I couldn't use that excuse. So I let her go. Just like I had done before.

--

I threw my fists into the punching back harder this time, repeating it over and over. I needed to vent my frustrations out on something. I was usually the quiet, artistic type. Sit on a rock and listen to depressing music. I did it well. But every now and then, I needed to use my fists for something. And now was that time. I pictured Emmett's face, I was so furious at my brother. Was he retarded or something? Wasn't it obvious me and Bella hadn't spoken about it? We were getting along better and all that, sure but there was still awkwardness between us. I wasn't too fucked up and too in love to not notice it. I hit the back one more time, harder then any of my previous punches. The monstrous bag banged into something with force but the person made no movement. As if they were barely affected by it. Emmett.

I looked up, he looked serious. He was never serious. He let out a gentle smile, I returned it with a glare and moved on too the weights. I heard him sigh before he followed me.

"Eddie, come on! Don't be like that." I turned to him, my face hard and my voice cold.

"Don't call me Eddie." He could see that I was angry; he put his hands up in defence.

"Alright. Chill out. I'm sorry if I hurt you or upset Bella. But I did you both a favour!" A favour? What. The. Fuck?

"How the fuck did you do me a favour, Emmett? You ruined a perfectly great night." I picked up the heaviest weight I could find, it took all my strength to lift it but I didn't dare put it down, not in front of my goofed-up, macho big brother. He sucked in a breath, clearly annoyed.

"Think about it Eddie – Edward – say the whole letter thing was never brought up ever again. What do you think would happen?" He questioned. I didn't say anything; I didn't want to give him any satisfaction because he was in fact right. For argumentably the first time in his life and my brother was already the biggest dickhead you could find, we didn't need to add sorta-smart to his résumé. I shrugged my shoulders, how was I supposed to answer that? I wasn't a fucking fortuneteller for Christ's sakes.

"I do, Edward. I know you and I also know that in order for you to be with Bella, friends or possible more, you wouldn't ever mention the letters ever again, because you know the effect it had on her and you know how it upsets her. And I know that you don't want to upset the girl you love." I stared him. Was I that see through?

"Wow, Dr. Phil. That's deep." I said, sarcastically. Truth was I had no flaming idea what to say and the whole situation was just making me tense and nervous and sick. Plus, I needed to get Emmett of his fucking high horse. Stupid jackass.

He pelted me on the back of my head and glared, I gave him the same equal glare. He may have been physically stronger then me but I could still take him. Sure, he would beat me and kick my ass but I would at least take some of his energy.

As I over-analysed the situation in my head, I realised; Emmett had done me a favour. Bella didn't want to talk about the whole letter situation, granted I didn't but I would rather get it out of the way then not discuss it at all. Whenever something about our past was mentioned, she would tense up, be edgy and run away. Maybe we did need a little push? If the letter thing was never truly figured out, I knew that me and Bella would never be a couple again.

The letters would just loom in our minds, all through our lives, whether we were still talking or not, I knew that we would wonder if the letters had never happened, would we still be together? Had we talked about it, would we overcome things? If the person was revealed, would we be together just like we had always dreamed?

My thoughts went unanswered of course and I hadn't realised how long I was standing there, thinking, looking deep in thought until Emmett cleared his throat as if to remind me.

"What?" I sighed and finally relented. "Alright, you were right. If Bella had it her way I would never mention the letters ever again." He let out a slight grin. Bastard. "What?! You think I want to talk about the letters too? Man, that shit fucked up my life, I hardly want to discuss it with the person I lost over it."

"I know, I'm sorry that that happened to you. I don't know why anybody would do it y'know. I mean, you and Bella you were like…tight. Everybody loved you guys together." He was smiling now, just at the memory of it, I nodded my head along with him, agreeing with everything he was saying.

"Any idea on who might of actually…you know…wrote them?"

"No. If I did, don't you think I would be rounding you and Jasper up to help me beat them to a pulp?" He let out a shear of laughter and I couldn't help but let some out too. "Maybe, Rosalie too. That girl is fucking mental!"

"Yeah, but that's why I love her." Emmett said softly, well as softly as Emmett is able to say. I smiled then halted. If I had a drink right now, it would be all over Emmett.

"You love her? Like seriously?" I couldn't believe it, Em in love, it just seemed so surreal. I thought he would hit me, or at least threaten to beat me. Something! But all he did was grin. Fucking grin like a Cheshire cat.

"Yes. I do."

"So you and Rose? Your like official now then?" His smile faltered and I felt guilty for bringing the topic up, it obviously had a bit of a negative effect on him.

"I…don't know what Rose wants right now. And I definitely do not want to pressure her into being in a relationship with me you know? We've only just begun seeing each other again, I don't want to fuck it up." I had never seen my brother so…well…in love. I put my hand on his shoulder, mockingly; my face couldn't hold back the smirk.

"My brother. In. Love. How adorable."

"Fuck you." We laughed and began playfully wrestling with each other – yes even grown men liked to do that. We continued this for a while, wrestling on the floor and having a pretend boxing match with the gloves and all that, of course Emmett won but I came close to winning, stupid fucker threw me on the floor just as I was about to gut him one.

We stayed in the gym for the next couple of hours, working up a sweat on the number of different machines. I stayed mostly on the treadmill, I wasn't so much a fast runner but I could run long distance. Emmett was more of weights kind of guy, which wasn't so unbelievable when you looked at him and saw the kind of muscles that were contained in his shirt.

Just as I was coming to an end of my run, I was about to ask Emmett if he wanted to go grab a pint or something in the local bar but we were interrupted by the Ice Bitch herself. If there was one girl who was good enough for my big brother it was Rosalie Hale, them two were like the biggest psychotic, perfect couple you would ever find. She was beautiful that was true but she wasn't my type. I remember way back when me and Bella first got together, she was so nervous and so frantic because she constantly compared herself to Rose, despite Rose being her best friend. Me and Rose always had this banter and insult thing going on between us, I loved her really, despite how bitchy and catty she could be, Bella at one point thought I had a thing for her. Why would I have a thing Rosalie, when I had my beautiful Bella?

"Emmie Bear where were you?" Emmie bear? The Fuck? Her lip was curled over her other one he was pouting – to my brother. Emmett would laugh in her face for sure, Emmett didn't do this shit. It was me who fell for this kind of the stuff. I was the 'pussy' of the family according to Emmett when it came to relationships anyway.

"I'm sorry, pickle jar but I needed to talk to Edward you know, about the other night." Before I knew what was happening, I burst into laughter against my own will. Emmett turned to look at me and Rosalie scowled, a hand on her hip and her eyebrows arched. I shot them both a semi-apologetic look.

"Sorry but…pickle jar? Seriously, oh man that shit is fucked up."

"Its not exactly the best nickname but you know your brother Edward, he's not exactly inventive." Rosalie quipped, a slight smile on her face.

"Yeah, I'm not inventive Edward. Wait – what? You think I'm dumb?!" Rosalie looked at Emmett, unsure of how to handle this. My brother could be very sensitive.

"Not dumb, Emmie Bear just…"

"Dumb?" I finished for her; she scowled again but in the end gave in. Emmett tried to pull his whole 'I'm mad at you routine but it really doesn't work unless you have breasts. Well, for me anyway. Rosalie apologised by kissing him, I could feel my morning bagel begin to come up. Lets just say Rosalie and Emmett didn't exactly do soft kisses.

After a few minutes had passed, I was getting tired of just standing there, in the middle of the gym, covered in sweat, watching my brother make out with his I'm-in-love-with-you-but-you're-kind-of-not-my-girlfriend-just-my-sex-buddie friend or whatever Rose exactly was to Emmett at this apparent time. I wondered how Rosalie felt about Emmett? Did she share his feelings; she was bound to have told Bella. Maybe I could use that as an excuse to talk to her? You know cause I care about my brother and all…that. Finally they managed to disentangle themselves from each other.

"So, Edward you looking forward to this road trip next week?" Random conversation started but whatever, I nodded. Rosalie looked to the floor as if she was trying to find a way to speak her next words to me. When she decided to look at me again, I gave her a pointed look. She sighed. "You know, I don't think Bella's going to come on this road trip thing. She doesn't want it to be awkward between you guys or anything."

"You mean, the letters were mentioned and little scared Bella runs away?" I had no idea where this rashness was coming from but I suddenly felt mad at Bella. Didn't she get that the letters hurt me too? Didn't she understand that overcoming it would only make both of us stronger? We couldn't become stronger if she was just going to run away every time somebody mentioned them.

"Well…I…erm….Emmie Bear help me out here."

"Will you excuse me?" I asked, already making my way to the exit.

"Edward, where you going?" I heard Emmett call back but I didn't answer. There was something I had to do or rather someone I had to go and see.

--

I stormed out of the gym, slamming the door behind me and made my way to Bella's building. I knew where it was since I walked her home that night of the building but I didn't know what number. That was going to be a problem. Maybe I should have gotten it from Rosalie. I shook my head, it was too late for that now, I couldn't go back, I needed to sort this out at least a little bit. Bella needed to go on this trip with me. I didn't know why, I just wanted her there.

I made my way down the numerous halls, looking for any sort of sign, although I highly doubted there was going to be some massive sign saying: BELLA'S ROOM printed on it. When I had been down the hallways a couple of times, I relented and ended up making my way to a group of girls. They stopped and stared and blushed and giggled. Great, more girls I have to put up with slipping me their numbers. I cleared my throat and ran a hand through my hair.

"Do any of you happen to know which room Bella Swan is staying in?" It was a long shot but it was better then any other idea I happened to have right now. There was a slight pause before one of the younger girls piped up and told me what room she thought she was in.

I thought about it for a second, did I really want to go knocking on someone's door with the potential of a complete randomer answering it? Nevertheless I said my thanks and made my way to that certain door. She better be in there, otherwise I will feel like a complete prick.

I knocked lightly on the door, momentarily not wanting anybody to actually answer the door but it soon swiftly opened, revealing Bella.

Her eyes widened when she saw me and then her cheeks flushed her usual deep red.

"You have to go on the road trip Bella. Don't ask me why but I want you there and I know why you're not going." Her mouth was opening and closing but I continued to cut her off with my own words. "Your not going because the letters got mentioned at dinner and you don't know how to react around me but Bella…I don't know how to act around you either and you cant keep getting frightened and scared and run away every time it does come up because if we are ever going to be … you know…erm…friends then well, you cant run all the time." I lost my way when I questioned myself what we could possibly be in the future. Would she ever consider getting back together with me?

She was silent for a moment, I was all of a sudden afraid that she was going to yell, scream at me but all she did was nod.
"Okay."

"What?"

"Okay." She repeated, shrugging her shoulders. "Your right, I do run and I shouldn't. I won't. Not anymore." I was baffled but I couldn't help but add;

"And the trip." She let out a small smile and I burst out into a grin and pulled her in for a hug, letting a slight kiss land on her head.

"You won't regret it Bells!" She grinned again.

Road trip next and theres some long awaited smut in that chapter! So review!!! If you want it :D

Also wanted to see who you actually think wrote the letters? :D:D Thanks for reading :]