Herrick noted the change in the weather, and for the first time in many hundreds of years felt the unpleasant tingle of fear running up his spine. He stalked through the corridors of the funeral parlor, barking orders at the dozens of vampires he had summoned from every corner of Bristol and the outlying area. This army of the undead (not a few of whom were recent 'converts', too naive to realize what they were up against) awaited the next command of their leader to see them to victory.
He wished that he had something in mind other than "Get them!"
He called over to him a fellow by the name Gedrick, nearly as old as Herrick himself; he had gone over to the New World with the colonists under the Mad King George only to return about 75 years later.
"You are the only one here that might have encountered these three in the dim past. Tell me everything you know about them, and quickly!"
Gedrick was paler than his undead condition could account for.
"It was during the time of the witch trials, back in Salem. Scores of women were hung, their bodies tossed into peat bogs. Midwives, harlots, elderly widows with sizable land holdings just waiting to be seized. All you had to do was accuse someone, and they were as good as dead. They'd be tortured until they 'confessed' their crimes, usually having sold their soul to the devil for unspecified powers that for some reason always failed to help them escape the noose. Erm, some fellow turned in his own mother and his betrothed! He wanted to inherit sooner than nature was allowing, and he'd caught the eye of some lass he liked better, so he killed two birds with one stone. Get it? Killed two 'birds'? Women?"
Gedrick's smile faded at the flat stare Herrick was giving him.
"Anyway, they were up on the block and the hangman was about to pull the lever. Suddenly, he pulls the hood off. It's the redhead. She says to the others: 'Maiden! Mother! Pledge yourselves to me and the Goddess Hecate and you shall have your revenge on all of these!' The women were terrified, but they didn't know what else to do. The magistrates rushed the gallows and grabbed her, and one made to pull the lever on the trap door. The two condemned women both screamed 'We pledge ourselves to you and Hecate! Save us!' and..." Gedrick faltered.
"Yes, yes?" Herrick growled impatiently.
"And...there was a flash of lightning. The entire gallows exploded, everyone was thrown to the ground. When we looked up, the magistrates were in pieces everywhere. The gallows was gone, and all three women were...were floating in the air. They were laughing like madwomen. The eldest says 'United, our power is multiplied a hundred fold! Three as One, in the image of the Hecate, Queen of Crossroads, of the Moon and Witchcraft! Let us show these mortals what the power of women can really do!"
Gedrick took a deep breath and let it out shakily, the way a soldier does when remembering a battle that nearly claimed his life.
"I'd been turned for a year by that point, so I did the only thing I could think of. I played dead. The screams I was hearing, human screams...then a loud crackling noise. After that, it was something else. The bray of a donkey. The screech of a monkey. The squawk of a bird. They changed everyone in the village that witnessed their trial into some kind of animal. Eventually the laughter stopped, and I dared to open my eyes. It was like a bleeding zoo escape. Every animal you can think of...and a few that were never meant to walk the earth were wandering around, screaming in their animal voices for help. That's when I made up my mind to come back to Blighty."
Herrick was lost in thought.
"Hmmm. Their power is multiplied...image of Hecate...Maiden...I think I see a way out of this. Yes, I should have thought of this sooner. Go have a chat with the dog in his cage. Wave the white flag, tell him we will let him go if he agrees to cease all hostilities against us. If he agrees, let him out of his cage and send him up front, then go stay with the others. Stay away from him, he's got a charm that kills us quite easily."
Gedrick ran off to do as he was bid. Herrick told the other vampires to stay put in the garage while he met the witches out front. They seemed very impressed at his bravery. This wouldn't hurt their respect for him if the plan succeeded.
When George was brought up, he was as angry as Herrick had ever seen him. Both his Star of David and Hecate amulet were clutched in his hands. Herrick was immediately overcome with nausea at the two debilitating forces directed at him, one spiritual, one magical.
Herrick got down on his knees before George, a move which so stunned the werewolf, that he was at a loss for words.
"I deeply apologize for my treatment of you, and for any threats made against your lovely girlfriend and her two companions." he said humbly.
George noted the howling tempest outside, and smirked.
"My lady friends are upset, methinks. Letting out some vampire wee? Why shouldn't I let them have their way with you?" he asked.
"George, I realize my position. You are now in a unique situation. You have the leader of vampires at your beck and call. You can kill me. Or have the witches turn me into something ghastly. Or...you can let me live and have me command every vampire in Bristol to stop attacking humans and go on the wagon like your friend Mitchell."
George's eyes widened.
"You'd promise that? And no more converting people? No more vampire uprising? Just to save your own pathetic life, you'd give up everything you've dreamed of? I must say, this does rather shatter my image of you. Which is a good thing, believe me. Now that you know what fear of death is like, maybe you'll be a better person for it. I only wish I could make you feel guilt as well."
The door and front window blasted to smithereens, and the two supernatural men watched as the three supernatural women touched down lightly in the street outside. They stormed into the funeral parlor, each one generating a ball of fire in one hand which they poised to throw at Herrick - stopping only when they noticed George already in control of the situation.
Penny canceled her fireball and ran up to hug George.
"Darling! I was worried sick about you! I thought they'd captured you! How did you escape?"
George puffed out his chest.
"Well, Herrick realized he could never hope to defeat me. He's agreed to cease all hostilities in exchange for his life. He knows what will happen to him if he doesn't toe the line!"
Kate and Amanda were still puzzling this out.
"You got out of that cell, and cowed Herrick and his legion of vampires on your own? I guess you deserve a pay raise!" said Kate.
"I don't know. I still say we should wipe them all out. You can never trust vampires." said Amanda, looking down at Herrick forbiddingly.
"Oh, let them live. Herrick would never dare to cross George! Right, Furry-Face?" said Penny adoringly.
"That's right, Potato Blossom!" said George.
Herrick looked up for a moment, one eyebrow upraised in disbelief. He ducked his head back down again when Penny glanced severely at him. Even Kate and Amanda looked nauseated.
"Right, well that's settled. Ladies, let's be off. Hugh's Pub is having Karaoke Night, and I want to dazzle you all with my singing skills!" said George.
Penny clapped her hands excitedly, while Amanda and Kate looked like they were headed for the noose again.
The four walked out into the suddenly clear night. Herrick stood up, his expression unreadable. That had cost him more than he would ever be willing to admit to anyone. He had broken several personal codes of honor in the last few minutes, not the least of which was being forced to lie to overcome an enemy. 'And you will pay for that indignity, my little dog. You and your women. You will beg for a merciful death that will never come. But like Fate, to win this game, I need to play a long hand!' Herrick thought to himself.
He walked to the ruins of the front door and looked out up at the darkening sky. There was still one thing he would never figure out, no matter how many centuries he lived.
"Potato Blossom?" he said, bewildered.
George continued to work at the restaurant, and secretly began putting away a significant amount of money each week. This took much less time than it would have had he still been a porter at the hospital. Kate was true to her word and paid him a handsome wage for his cleaning and culinary miracles. George introduced several exotic Italian dishes to the menu, and business boomed as the locals pounced on each new dish with shark-like rapaciousness. The witches invested in an industrial sized dishwashing machine with a conveyor belt to free George up to do the cooking exclusively, though he still insisted on giving the kitchen a thorough scouring at the close of business. George and Penny went out every night, though they rarely stayed out late. They slept over each at each other's flats numerous times, though George always wore at least boxers and Penny her nightgown. George knew without needing to be told that Penny believed in marital intercourse only. He never pushed the issue, content to bury his face in her blond hair and dream about what it would be like to wake up next to this wonderful woman every day. To raise kids together...to grow old togeth- well, that likely wouldn't happen. That was for normal humans.
On nights when he transformed, Penny locked him in the greenhouse in the woods that Tully had shown him, magically sealing it and warding it against humans who might come to investigate. She let him out every morning after and shipped him home so he could shower before work. George once asked if he could be cured through witchcraft, and Penny bit her lip and said that yes, it was possible, but asked if he would mind remaining a werewolf as she was practically immortal and he would live much longer as a werewolf than as a human being. George nodded and said that it was best then to leave things be.
Annie and Mitchell came to the restaurant quite often, and Mitchell was never charged for pizza. One night, George had a private word with Kate and Amanda, after which they promptly began clanging triangles to get everyone's attention. George came out of the kitchen dressed handsomely in tan slacks and a dinner jacket though which only a few polka dots could be seen defacing the shirt beneath. He came over to Penny, who was standing beside Mitchell's table and dropped to one knee. There was a collective gasp from the entire restaurant as George produced a ring box, and opened it. The ring was a band of pure platinum, decorated with diamond chips designed to represent the moon in all of its lesser phases with the central diamond as the full.
"You're still wearing your hairnet!" hissed Mitchell.
George took it off with his free hand and tossed it over his shoulder. It landed on someone's pizza, but so caught up was everyone in the moment that no one noticed.
"Penny Warren. These past six months have been the happiest of my entire life. It makes everything that has come before have new meaning. Would you do me the greatest honor ever bestowed on an unworthy wretch who wants nothing more than to share the rest of his life with you? Will you marry me?" he asked.
Penny was crying and blushing furiously.
"Oh, you...George Sands...oh, my make-up is running. Goddess! Oh, yes, I'll marry you!"
Everyone cheered, George and Kate and Amanda the loudest of all.
"For the next hour, drinks are on the house!" shouted Kate. Annie and Mitchell hugged each other and pounded on the table. George stood up and led Penny to the front door where a horse and carriage awaited.
"Once around the park...and then um, we should probably get back to work." George said sheepishly.
Penny nodded, tears still streaming down her cheeks.
They were married a month later, at Stonehenge, presided over by a rabbi in a traditional Jewish wedding. Mitchell was George's best man, while Kate and Amanda were Matrons of Honor. Annie cried through the whole ceremony, though only the supernaturals were aware of it. The biggest shock of all came when George went to pay the wedding organizer only to find that it had been paid for already.
When he asked who was responsible, he was given a note.
'Dear George. Please accept this as my wedding gift to you. As I am sure you will realize, sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for. Regards, Herrick.
George folded the note, and pondered what it could mean. He was very uneasy, and felt that this was the calm before the storm.
He had no idea how right he was.