Just a note: the story is inspired by the song Gravity by Sara Bareilles
Chapter 10: Delight, Interrupted
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The rain came down around ten, pelting his window in uneven rhythms. Though it was fairly dark, he could see perfectly. The rain had cast a gray tinge to the landscape, banishing the bright starlight from view. It was as if he was looking at an old black and white photograph; timeless and poignant. He had not slept all night, his mind in a chaos of thoughts. The intensity of her eyes burned in his mind, the fire in their depths singeing him sweetly.
He sighed, not sure of his approach, but sure of his motive. Stepping out of his bed, he stretched slowly, enjoying the satisfying cracks. He slid the window up and slipped out, falling weightlessly towards the ground. His landing made a sound similar to dropping a small pebble in soft earth; almost noiseless. He jogged to her house in under ten seconds and walked around the front, trying to find a landing. He found her window, knowing it by memory, but it was freestanding, with only a small ledge connected to the sill. He sighed, realizing the ledge was only wide enough for one arm.
He ran backwards a few yards, eyeing the distance and estimating the force of a jump. He raced forward and leaped, soaring above the ground like an eagle. His hands caught the ledge and he quickly pressed the balls of his feet against the house, successfully muffling his landing. He pulled himself up, placing on arm on top of the other horizontally on the ledge. It was locked, of course, but the curtains had not fully met, allowing him to peek through.
The room was a sleepy blue, accented with white trim and a myriad of feminine accessories. Her vanity was decorated with perfume bottles, hair bands, and a small box of makeup. Her bed was in a corner, like his, a small nightlight glowing near it. Her bed sheets were blue and white, her pillowcase a bright yellow. She had drawn the sheets up to her chin, her dark hair loose and wild around her. Her face was serene; her brow relaxed and her mouth delicate.
Her tranquility soothed him and he yearned to be with her, his heart aching at their separation. He looked over her covered body, seeing her arm exposed. Her diamond bracelet glinted brightly in the moonlight, his heart clenching at the sight. The memory appeared in his mind, and he tried to ignore it, hating the way it ruined his peace.
He felt the slight prick in his eyes and the ticklish burn on his nose, but he shook it away, mortified at his tears. He had never cried about any action he had done, but he was also embarrassed that he would be so callous as to not cry for her. Her wondrous beauty once again overtook him and he fought the sudden urge to break the window and rush to her side. Inhaling a quiet breath, he gently touched the glass, allowing only his fingertips and the edge of his palm. He knew that if he exerted even the smallest force, the glass would shatter.
He tried to imagine moving the curtain aside and slipping in, feeling the bronze skin on his palm. He closed his eyes and breathed in the night air, traces of her scent lingering in his nose. The pain of their separation overwhelmed him suddenly and he quickly retracted his hand, knowing that in the moment's passion he could break the glass.
Knowing he had stayed far too long, he leaped away from the window, landing gracefully on his heels. As he walked away, the pain and worry overtook him and he longed to return to his visual torture. Yet he ignored the desire and continued forward, struggling to keep his body from turning around. He wanted to feel the pain; the bottomless shame and hurt at the wicked things he had subjected her to.
He wanted to take her pain away and bring it upon himself, a warped punishment he viewed as atonement. He shut his eyes tightly and focused on the steady double beat of his steps, fighting against the tension as his body tried to move in opposite directions. He closed his fists as the fiery tickle ran up his spine, his emotions pushing a phase.
His mind was in a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. They were so interwoven he could only feel the emotion of a memory, the memory itself blurry and unfocused. He laid down on his bed and sighed, his fingers clenching tightly at his mattress. Her smile moved in and out of focus and his dream reappeared in between. Her hair was still in a flurry around her face, but he knew she was not smiling as she was in his other thoughts. The diamond bracelet flashed briefly before his mind ceased to procure images, his self-control centered completely on not phasing.
Everything was jittery in his vision, as if it was being shaken around. The tickle began to subside and he relaxed his vice on the mattress, gently pressing down the foam that spilled out of the rips. He sighed and ran a hand over his face, rubbing his eyes. Then he realized he was moving.
His body moved forward and he fought to lie back on the bed, his mind divided. Half was commanding his body to the window, trying to satisfy his instinctual need to be with her. The other was his aware and fighting conscious, pulling him towards his bed. The painful discordance kept sleep away and he found himself outside various times when his self-control lapsed. He found himself closer to her window each time, but he only pulled himself away when light notes of sweetness touched his senses.
The night dragged on and he found himself staring madly at the clock, cringing when he counted the hours left till morning. He was not sure what time it was that he had fallen asleep, but he remembered the pain slipping away and his mind focusing centrally on the peace of sleep.
He awoke at six, sunrise already finishing its diurnal ascent, and pulled the sheets over his face. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, mentally crossing the distance between them and centering himself on her. In the muffled space under his sheets he could hear the steady beat of her heart, though only faintly, because he was still in a slumber daze. Though his body was urging him to her, he remained fairly in control and used her heartbeat to lull him back to sleep.
Her hair was loose today. She ran a hand through it casually every so often and her sweetness floated over to him every time. The smell brought him into a peaceful trance, catching his eyelids fluttering twice. The smell seemed to tug his emotions upwards when he inhaled it and then back down as it was released. It was shiny and smooth and usual and he remembered the silk feel on his fingers.
Even though he had only written two sentences on foreign trade policies, first period's bleak hope was gleaming brighter every second. He was overwhelmed by the sweetness when she abruptly leaned back and shook out her hair, laughing when the girl behind her jokingly complained. It encircled him and he fought the urge to walk up to her and touch her hair.
He had managed slight focus during the class and looked up at Jenna every few moments, watching as her hand moved back and forth across the page. He noticed her handwriting was a neat cursive, the letters connected delicately in loops. He found it befitting and suppressed the smile that tugged at his mouth. The girl behind her had placed her pencils on the edge of her desk and shifting her books she knocked them onto the floor.
He watched as Jenna leaned over the side bar of her own desk, her back curving over the side as she picked up two pencils. She turned around to place them back on her neighbor's desk, smiling and waving away the 'thank you.' Then her eyes drifted towards the back of the room and landed on him. Unable to contain himself any longer, he grinned.
Her eyes seemed to sparkle and her grin was soft and kind as she looked at him.
Sparing him one last glance, she turned away and his heart seemed to leap from its place. She had smiled at him before but this one was unreserved and free of caution. It was sweet and he knew that somewhere, deep down, he had healed a torn bond inside her.
He waved goodbye to the rest of the guys, clapping Jared on the back as he exited the locker room. He took in a relaxing breath, images of Jenna and her lovely smile swirling around between a mental checklist of homework in his mind. He could feel the air around him heavy with rain and made note of the change in pressure, his body feeling slightly abnormal as he adjusted. The weather had changed rather quickly; he was sweating profusely in the afternoon heat little over an hour ago.
The parking lot was fairly empty and he made his way to his Jeep, pulling his keys from his pocket. As he opened his door, he was suddenly distracted by a faint giggling and two sharply contrasting smells. One was unfamiliar and obnoxiously intruding; the fruity stench burned in his nose. The second was very familiar; the cool, breezy scent distinct and unforgettable.
His mouth twitched as he scoped them out in the parking lot, his eyes scanning around cars. The mild wind brought the scents closer and his nose wrinkled in disgust. He found them by Josh's Audi, his body keeping the other scent from view. He could not see the other person, but there were two things he did not need to see to be sure of.
One, it was a girl.
Two, it was not Jenna.
The girl laughed again and slapped Josh playfully, who in turn hugged her closer and buried his face into her neck. As she once again erupted in giggles, he got a view of her. Her dark hair was braided to the side and hung off her shoulder, a pink band holding it together. She had dark brown eyes and nicely framing brows.
To anyone she could have been considered attractive, but she was hideous to him. Her hair was dull and her skin an ugly tan. Her eyes were like small roaches and had an unflattering smile. Josh kissed her cheek before her mouth, slipping of the pink hair band and loosening her hair. She arms clutched desperately around his waist and her hands were under his shirt, feeling the skin of his back.
His body was shaking madly; his fury reaching its peak. His eyes were burning from not being lubricated by blinks, but he could not look away from the sight. Jenna was being played. The anger seemed to come alive at the shame and disgrace of the thought it. He imagined Josh's arrogant smile as he talked to Jenna; remorseless and uncaring. His leg moved a step in their direction as the girl laughed again, Josh's conceited one mingling in. Jenna was being played. His Jenna was being played.
He took in many short breaths, his vision lined in red. The feather tickled madly and he jerked several times, trying to hold in the transformation. He tried to calmly put his things in the back, but slammed them down instead, successfully denting the lining. The sound alerted Josh and the slut and he purposefully looked away, completely sure that he was not in control. He slid into his seat, fumbling with his keys because of his shaking. He contemplated getting out and beating Josh to a pulp, but then decided against it. He did not want to get arrested; in jail away from Jenna was more excruciating than anything.
Jenna. I'm doing this for Jenna. He repeated the mantra in his mind until he backed out of the parking lot, making sure to drive through the opposite exit. The drive home was challenging and he was forced to stop several times, the constant quivering flaring when he thought of Josh. In his anger, he drove right in front of Jenna's house to his, suddenly not caring about keeping disguise.
He could not care less if she saw him drive by; the only thing he could think about was Josh. His lip curled back in revulsion at the name and he forced himself to take large breaths through his nose, slamming the door open as he stepped out. It unhinged slightly and he snarled angrily before tearing it off completely. The metal screeched harshly as it slid on the concrete.
Jenna was being cheated on. It was all he could think about. He picked up the door and launched it into the air, his anger reaching its climax. His shaking was erratic; his control on a fine balance. One more thing and he would lose it completely. Jenna is being cheated on by Josh Hart.
He exploded.