Natty came in to wake me up at 10 am, she laughed as I opened my eyes and blushed slightly noticing why she was laughing.
The large pillow I usually slept with was against my chest and my arm thrown around it.
"Hmmm good dream I take it?" She said chuckling and helping me out of bed.
I smiled, remembering that it was indeed a good dream, although the pillow was no match for the furry Jake that was so calm and happy in my dream. Just before she had woken me up my dream had moved from us walking and just being with one another, to us lying in the grass as he slowly drifted off to sleep with my arm around him.
I remembered his face the most, the soft moonlight illuminating his dark skin into a glowing wonder.
His face was quiet and relaxed, his eyes shut calmly without any creasing or worried lines.
The trees around us seemed to rustle quietly in the wind creating a soft humming tone that lulled us to sleep.
Too bad it was only a dream, I thought a little sadly as Natty pulled a warm wet cloth across my back to take off the old cream before reapplying it once more.
"Your dream was about him wasn't it?" She said, as if reading my mind.
I turned slightly and nodded my head, smiling at the memories.
"What were you guys doing…if you don't mind me asking?" She said quietly.
"Talking and walking in the woods, and then we were laying in the woods, my arm around him as he fell asleep." I said.
"Hmm, its interesting that you have such simple and realistic dreams. It's like your mind is showing you what you desire, but your desires unlike others are simple and basic."
I nodded; it was true it was what I wanted. My desires may be different than others, but only because I was always without the basic routine, the simple things for so long that now all I want it basic. That is what makes me happy.
We grabbed a quick bite to eat and headed to the grocery store grabbing the vegetables and needed ingredients for the soup.
I wasn't sure what we were going to watch but I hoped that we would mostly just talk and not have to worry about finding a show if there weren't any.
I helped Natty pull the soup together in a large pot, before getting ready myself.
Pulling on a different more feminine shirt and my good jeans I made it back downstairs just as the doorbell rang.
Smiling like a giddy schoolgirl I opened it to find an equally giddy Jacob clad in cut-off jeans and a long sleeved black shirt.
"Hey you, come on in." I said holding the door open.
"Hey, thanks. Umm how was your sleep last night?" He asked as he brushed past me.
The light touch made me feel alive, and completely aware of the fact that I was indeed a girl and he a boy.
I mentally shook myself lightly and walked with him to the kitchen.
"Really peaceful actually, it's weird I use to always have nightmares even after a day or two when I moved here but now I always seem to have wonderful and I guess calm is the best word for it. I love it. What about you?" I asked.
"Some weird dreams, but mostly good. I slept pretty well, that is good that you are sleeping better, probably your surroundings are finally sinking in or maybe the fact that you have such awesome friends now that the thought of us just makes them all go away." He said laughing in his lovable deep laugh.
He pushed me playfully as we entered the kitchen and he said hi to Natty.
If only he knew how true his assumption was, I wonder how he would take it? Probably with a confused look, a very adorable confused look, I thought mentally slapping myself.
"Mmm it smells delicious." Jake said as he plopped down at the table and I sat next to him.
We took our time eating, well Natty and I did, and Jake on the other hand went through three bowls of soup and a loaf of bread before he was satisfied.
"By the way, I'm going over to Emily's to help her with some things, you guys will be okay here by yourselves right?" Natty said smiling with the tiniest of mischievous glints in her dark eyes.
"Yeah, we'll be fine, don't worry we won't trash the place or anything or have any raging parties." I said smiling and looking at Jake.
He burst out laughing at my comment and agreed.
"Alright, well I must be off, if you guys leave just leave a note so I know where you are and what time you will be back, k?" She said getting up and making her way to the door.
We both nodded and said good-bye, as we heard the door close quietly.
It was silent for a couple moments, and sat there hoping that I could break the silence quick as my I started to feel nervous.
"So what do you want to do?" I asked finally, feeling kind of sheep-ish with the puny question.
"Hmm, not sure, hey those photos you took Natty mentioned that they were developed in a dark room…is that true?" He asked his deep dark eyes glistening with curiosity.
"Mhhmm, before I would usually go to a high school and develop them but here Natty surprised me with my very own dark room in the cellar…you want to see?" I asked smiling.
"Yeah! I've never seen one I've only vaguely heard about the process." He said, looking like a tiny kid in a large body with his excitement. It made me laugh.
We got up from the table, walking close together as I showed him the door and we made our way down.
Turning the light on and took him around the small room.
"So is it really difficult trying to get the picture right, it looks really confusing."? He said looking at the instruments that lined the wall and the washes that stood on the other side. He sniffed one of the washes and yelped at the scent, which made me laugh even though I tried not too.
"Ohh that's horrible." He said holding his nose and coming back to stand by me. I had forgotten his sense of smell was much higher than mine.
"It's not too hard once you get the hang of it, granted it's a lot of trials and errors but that's part of the fun." I said shrugging slightly.
"Could you show me how it works, I mean do you have any photos you haven't developed yet?" He asked as he stood close to me while I looked through my negatives.
I could feel his breath resting lightly on my neck, its warmth causing my skin to rise in close knitted bumps.
It was hard to think straight with his body so close to mine, I wondered if he even realized it or felt the affects like I did.
"Hmm unfortunately I don't but if you want we can go take some pictures and I can teach you how to develop your own pictures." I said looking over my shoulder at him.
I felt my self-turning to face him, even without wanting to. My body was moving by itself it seemed as I stared into his eyes, they were transfixed on mine, staring so deeply into me I felt like he could see what I was thinking.
My breath came closer together as I felt myself being pulled to him, it seemed like a string was roped around me and pulling me to him, the person I wanted so much and yet the one I couldn't be with yet.
He head moved closer to mine as I took a tiny baby step toward him, inhaling sharply as I felt my body press lightly against his.
His heart was beating so strongly I could feel it vibrate through his skin making me knees go weak.
I can't do this; it's not the right time…I CAN'T! I thought sharply pulling myself away as I smiled slightly and stepped to the side of him.
"What do you say."? I said keeping my voice light and happy, even though I could feel the disappointment running throughout my body.
It felt like I had been pulling myself against a strong current in order to clear my head. This affect he had on me, maybe it was imprinting. Maybe that's why it was so strong, but no matter what it was I can't afford to be hurt. I need this to start out differently…I need him to heal and think clearly.
I turned to look back at him, one of my two cameras in my hand.
He looked slightly confused, but to my relief he smiled…maybe he understood why or maybe he just understood that it wasn't the time. I don't know but that smile made me feel so much better, even in this slightly dark cellar he seemed like he stood in his own light his own warmth.
"Sounds good to me." He said.
"Well I have two cameras, so you can take pictures too, it might be more fun if you were developing something you took yourself." I said as he nodded and smiled grabbing the camera I held out gingerly to him.
It felt like the whole moment in the basement hadn't happened as we made our way outside after I put a note on the table.
We talked and chatted, I kept asking him for stories with him and his friends and he obliged happily.
There little adventures always made me laugh, each person was so distinct with their own humor it proved for a highly comical affect when they were all together.
Jake insisted on taking a picture of me, and he was able to coerce a stranger into taking a picture of the both of us, Jake's arm wrapped lazily around me as we smiled into the lens.
He kept begging the poor stranger to take a couple more, as we posed with crazy faces and silly looks that caused the person to laugh as the camera clicked away.
We took photos of plants and buildings and animals, everything he saw he wanted to capture. I felt like a permanent smile was plastered on my face as we moved about in the woods.
His affect on me was nothing less than miraculous. I didn't even know someone could feel like this, feel like their very heart would burst out of their chest because they were so happy.
We walked around for a couple hours and finally made it back to the house, Natty still wasn't home and we went straight to the cellar as I walked him through the process of developing.
He caught on quickly and soon he had moved from simple photos of leaves to one of the pictures of us, the first one and in my opinion the sweetest one.
The photo came out beautifully, I couldn't have done it better and I laughed with excitement as we looked at it.
"It's perfect." I said smiling proudly at him and pulling him into a big hug.
His deep laugh rumbled throughout him like a sweet earthquake that came to waken my bones from their slumber.
His big warm arms wrapped around me, my head against his chest as we stood there for a moment just enjoying the feeling of the hug.
I think the best word to describe it was…a feeling of being complete. It felt like the part that I had always been searching for, and didn't even know it was missing was suddenly there.
The feeling was slightly overwhelming as I pulled away reluctantly and we moved back to developing more photos.
We talked a bit about his mother, who had died when he was young like mine. I asked about his sister and he told me all about her, a constant shine of brotherly love glowing in his eyes as he spoke about her.
I knew that he had to leave by dinnertime, and it cam all too quickly.
I walked him to the door, laughing as I told him that I felt like a guy walking his lovely lady to the door.
"Well hopefully I don't look like a girl?" He asked laughing at my comment.
"Mmmh only a little, you have a very feminine face." I said pushing him lightly.
"Nah uh, I'm not at all feminine, totally masculine. Pshhh feminine face my ass." He said making a cute face as we came to the door. He had his photos in a folder and opened it for a second grabbing a picture and handing it to me.
"I have another copy of this one don't worry, but I want you to have this one, I know it's your favorite." He said and before I could get a chance to look at it and thank him he pulled me into a hug.
I enjoyed every second of the short hug, his warmth seeping into my skin, his scent clouding my brain, and my own body seeming to melt against him. He suddenly pulled away promising we would talk on the phone and chill again soon and before I knew it he had disappeared into the night, the bright red folder held tightly to his frame.
I chuckled at the last image, it was such a feminine gesture holding an object to your chest and on him it was sweet and slightly odd looking.
Looking down at the photo in my hands my face spread into a huge grin as I looked down at the photo of us, the first photo the stranger took of us smiling his arm wrapped around me. It was indeed my favorite.
Natty came home soon and held a smile ear to ear as I told her about my day with Jake and showed her the photo.
She immediately pulled a frame out of a closet that she kept a couple in and fit the photo in it before I put it on my desk so I could always see it.