A/N: You probably won't like me after this chapter. I just have a feeling.

+ststst+

Orientation was easily the most boring five hours Jim had ever lived through, and he had grown up in Iowa, for God's sake. The speaker droned for the entire time, not even breathing, Jim was sure. She talked about everything that Pike had already discussed with them, from food policies, to TA opportunities. Jim had almost been reduced to tears when suddenly his padd had lit up.

Bones had sent him a message, though on the screen it was addressed from McCoy, L. H. to Kirk, J.T.

He had asked if Jim knew how to check his personal messages, which was what the speaker had been discussing at great length with too many damn words that were not needed. Jim had snorted at the time, looking over to Bones with an amused smile. The doctor had looked less than enthused as the speaker went on and on, not even having the decency to act like she cared. Jim had sent a message back with the words, 'wuah wuah wuah.'

He was actually a little more than pleased when Bones had given a small snort of amusement, picking up on the joke as easily as Jim remembered him doing. He vaguely remembered that that was what had held his interest in Bones down in Louisiana…aside from the great sex. Bones had understood his sense of humor, archaic though it may have been. It had been a startling change of pace and Jim had relished it.

They messaged each other back and forth throughout the entire thing, even getting bored enough to start a three or four thousand games of tic-tac-toe and a thousand games of hangman. That had been the only thing that got Jim through. It was so easy and comfortable that he almost forgot the awkward situation that was suspended between them, though the awkwardness was somewhat subsiding.

Bones had not really backed off, but it seemed to Jim as if he was trying to make the air less oppressive. He continued to hang around Jim, and he continued to ask about Joanna, but he also spoke to Jim more, which logically should freak Jim out, considering he had nearly had a meltdown about Bones being so nice to him. However, after the conversation they had on Tuesday, though it hadn't cleared everything up, it had explained why Bones was being so kind and forgiving. It had helped him calm down, in ever the slightest of ways. While they still didn't bring up New Orleans, Jim found it a bit easier to just breathe around the doctor.

He could see them being friends now, with relative ease. Jim thought if they could keep this going then they wouldn't have to worry about any conflicts in the future. They could continue in this, sharing their daughter while carrying on with their lives. Jim could handle that. He could make himself be okay with that. The few moments they shared, while completely mind-numbingly painful in their nostalgic value, could be kept under wraps and maybe even diminish with enough time. Now that Bones was here, Jim thought he may be able to properly say goodbye to their memories.

By the time Orientation had ended, Jim had squashed all of his reticent feelings into the back of his mind, standing, stretching and making ready to literally run away from that damn auditorium. He was ready to continue reading on the rules and regulations of Starfleet, maybe hang out with Bones for a bit before they went to pick up Joanna, as had become their tradition in the past three days their daughter had been at Sandcastles.

His plan was ruined, as was becoming a habit here at Starfleet, when an instructor stepped up to the podium and asked for the first year cadets to gather in the cafeteria for a meet and greet. Jim nearly deflated. He looked over at Bones, who was scowling quite ferociously at the professor, and asked, "We're not technically first years, are we? I mean…we're both taking a fair amount of second year classes."

The doctor's scowl did not diminish. "If we were that damn lucky, Pike woulda let us skip this entire assembly. Can you imagine what he'll do to us if we don't go to the luncheon?"

Pike had become somewhat of a menace in Bones' eyes. He respected the captain well enough, but Bones thought he was completely around the bend. Jim didn't know what had happened in their appointment together, but it had left the doctor making snide comments about Pike for the past three days. All the information Jim had gotten from Bones was that he too was going to be a teacher's assistant, as well as working a shift or two a week at the medical center, and that he was also starting out with half second year and one third year class. Beyond that it had just been grumbles.

Jim sighed, watching as Bones hefted himself up from his seat. "Maybe we can eat and leave. Think that'll go over well?"

Bones raised an eyebrow, telling him flatly, "Like a snowball in hell."

Thirty minutes later found them in a line that easily wrapped around the large cafeteria twice. They had been some of the last ones to arrive, so naturally they were somewhere in wraparound two, not that they cared. Bones had decided to go on a verbal rant about how completely ridiculous the Orientation was, and how completely useless the speaker had been, and seriously, why the hell had they needed to be told to be considerate of other cultures. They were in Starfleet; if someone didn't like the other species, they probably shouldn't have enlisted in Starfleet.

Jim listened to it with a fond, indulgent smile, and just a few snorts. These rants were nothing new to him. Bones had made it a hobby to bitch about everything even in New Orleans. Jim would bet money Bones had entered the world complaining.

A few of the other cadets around them were not so calm about it. They kept sneaking Bones a few glances, and just judging by the way they moved back a little, they thought Bones had serious issues. A few looks directed at Jim relayed the message that they thought he was just as crazy for not moving away. He ignored them all, enjoying the naturalness that exuded the air between him and his friend. They didn't have to understand Bones, because in that instance, all that mattered was that Jim did.

They grabbed their plates and loaded their food onto it, and by the time they were at a relatively empty table, Bones was bitching about the lack of 'good' food to be found at this stupid shindig. The other two people at the table, a lovely young woman, whom Jim smiled at, and a young man, both stared at them with wide eyes as Bones continued to rant between his bites of food. As soon as they were done, they left quickly, and Jim noticed that when they did, Bones ranting went down considerably.

Jim nearly laughed. Ranting like a crazed lunatic was obviously Bones' people-repellant and it worked like a charm. He turned to the doctor, a small smirk in place.

"You're 'meeting and greeting' needs a little work, Bones," he said, reaching over idly with his fork to steal a tomato that had been pushed off to the side of sandwich Bones had been eating.

"They can make me attend; they can't make me participate," he said, watching curiously as Jim took the fruit. "I thought you didn't like tomatoes?"

Jim glanced at him, slicing the red fruit into manageable bites. He hadn't like tomatoes, not when he and Bones had been in New Orleans. He had actually gone through extreme measures to make sure nothing he ate had tomatoes hidden somewhere in them. But… He gave a half-hearted shrug. "Kinda changed my mind when I was carrying Jo. I went through this phase where I ate nothing but tomatoes and salt. It stuck even after she was born."

He popped a tomato slice in his mouth. "These aren't as fresh as I like them, but for a function this large, I'll take what I can get," he said around his bite, smiling when Bones rolled his eyes at his poor manners. He usually reined it in for Jo, but here and now, he just couldn't find it within himself to care.

He didn't want to be at this stupid thing any more than Bones did, and they couldn't escape, because Jim was sure he had seen an ominous flash of Christopher Pike not too far off. Jim estimated that they only had a minute or two left to themselves and their demolished plates before Pike hauled them off to meet with all the other people who looked much happier to be there. Jim was beginning to suspect that maybe Bones had reason to believe Pike was a menace, but part of him appreciated the captain and his evil genius.

As if he had heard Jim's thoughts and internal count down, Pike showed up exactly a minute later, smiling down at them in a way that promised no good outcome for them. "Jim, Doctor McCoy, I'm glad you two could make it," he said with a tone that told them clearly that he was happier that he didn't have to punish them in his own sneaky way for not attending. "You look about done, why don't you come and meet the teachers you'll be assisting."

Later Jim would realize that Pike was not only an evil genius, but an evil, tactical genius. There was no end to the people he introduced them to on their way to 'find' the professors they would be working with. All of them were admirals or captains. He didn't bother to introduce them to any other cadets, only big-wigs, people who would be helpful to know when they furthered their careers at Starfleet. He used their names and their genius in their own specialized fields to get them both talking in a semi-polite manner, and he smiled proudly each time an admiral or captain stated their awe that Starfleet had found these two brilliant men.

Jim and Bones both smiled appropriately; while Bones would scowl at Pike the instant he thought no one would see him. By the time Pike brought Bones to Lieutenant Felding, Jim thought Bones may really reach out and strangle the next higher-up who said 'well done, son.' Pike continued on with Jim in tow, smile still firmly intact.

Jim shook his head, his own smile crawling across his face. "Bones may kill you. You know that, right?"

He was rewarded with an abrupt burst of laughter. "Not until he outranks me, and I don't see that happening for a while." Pike drew them through the thick crowd, heading to the very furthest corner of the room, where a few admirals sat at a table and for a moment, Jim thought maybe Bones had gotten lucky being ditched with Felding, but Pike just stood next to the table, asking, "Admiral Archer, can I have a minute, sir?"

The man he was talking to, relatively tall with slate gray hair and bored eyes, lit up immediately. "Yes, Captain!" he said quickly, standing up a little too fast. He cast a look to the other admirals trying to look formal and regretful. "Gentlemen, ma'am" he said to the only female admiral at the table. "If you'll excuse me."

He didn't wait for their platitudes, simply began walking away, Pike and Jim following just as swiftly as he was walking until they were well out of ear shot. Archer looked back over to the table, trying to seem inconspicuous. They were watching him with bemusement written on their faces, so Archer didn't lose the formal stance he seemed caught in and neither did Pike. However, when the admiral spoke, the informality of it was almost enough to make Jim do a double take.

"Thanks, Chris. A few more moments alone with them and their discussion over 'The Prime Directive', and it's very likely that I would have gone brain dead," he said with relief flooding his voice.

Pike smirked. "I do what I can, Jon."

Another glance thrown at the table Archer had just left to see that they had gone to their pre-programmed boredom and Archer let himself relax a little. He looked over to Jim curiously, before looking back to the captain. "Introduce me to your friend?"

Pike looked a little uneasy for a moment, but he covered it quickly, straightening up again as he said, "This is actually your TA, Cadet James Kirk."

Jim reached out his hand, expecting Archer to act like all the other higher-ups did. He didn't. He just glared at Pike, his relief clearly being eclipsed by his irritation. "I told you, I don't want a damn TA, Chris. I'm getting old, but I'm not losing my mind!" he snapped.

Jim let his hand fall back to his side.

Pike rolled his eyes long-sufferingly. "I never said you were losing your mind, Jon. Stop being such a drama-queen. You have two-hundred and fifty students enrolled in your Relativistic Physics class, the highest it's ever been, and you still insist on doing three damn essays per semester. Cadet Kirk can read five-hundred words per minute, and already knows your material like the back of his hand."

"If he's so smart, why doesn't he help Lieutenant Commander Wilkerson in his class? God knows the man needs all the help he can get!" Archer's glare worsened at Wilkerson's name; like he was easily the foul of the universe and Archer would gladly feed him to an alien monster and not even feel guilty about it.

Pike snorted. "Are you kidding? Honestly, Jon. That man would have Cadet Kirk brought up on charges of being smarter than he is within the first three days. His material is outdated. I don't know why the academy still allows him to teach here!" the captain said vehemently. "No, Cadet Kirk, here, would do better with you, and you could use the help. You're not even supposed to have more than a hundred and seventy-five students. The Academy is making an exception for you, and you could use the help."

Jim spoke up quickly, before the other man could start talking. "I'm still here," he said matter-of-factly. "And I kinda feel like I'm being sold into slavery."

Pike actually looked a little embarrassed, but Archer looked as if he had just seen Jim for the first time. He cracked a crooked smile at him, and then his eyes started glittering in a way too similar to Pike's. Before Jim knew it he was being pelted with questions pertaining to relativistic physics, physics in general, and transporting equations. It was a little crazed, but Jim kept up with it, having spent an entire summer fascinated with transporters and how they worked.

It went on for twenty minutes and with each minute that passed Archer looked a little more impressed and Pike's smug smile from the Riverside Shipyard crept further onto his features. Finally, Archer stopped hurling questions at him, regarded him for a second, sizing him up. Jim stared right back, a little defiant after the way he had been ignored and cast off earlier.

"This is a very important question, Cadet," Archer said. "It will decide your fate."

Jim almost snorted. Archer was acting like this would end Jim's life if he didn't get to assist him in his teaching. He refrained, though Pike didn't. Pike rolled his eyes so hard his head moved with the motion.

"Do you like beagles?"

That clenched it. Everyone who knew Pike had lost their goddamn mind. Jim was going to fit in here just fine.

"I liked Snoopy well enough," Jim said cheekily. "I'm sure a real life version of him can't be bad."

Archer and Pike both paused for a second before bursting into laughter. Jim smiled hesitantly along with them, feeling like he had just passed some secret test that he didn't even know about.

"I like this one!" Archer crowed, his face displaying his merriment for the world to see. A few of the cadets around them looked on curiously to see what was happening. They leaned closer, trying to find out what was going on. They were paid no mind. "I'm keeping him. I swear, Chris, I'm going to keep this man."

He patted Jim's shoulder, giving it a friendly, welcoming shake as he worked off the last of his laughter.

"Who's keeping who?"

Jim turned his head slightly, to see Bones coming up to them from the crowd. He smiled in welcome, and Bones lifted a brow in askance.

"I think I've just been adopted by Admiral Archer," Jim answered, waving his hand toward the man who was still smiling. "Admiral, this is my friend, Doctor Leonard McCoy."

A strange expression came over Bones at the introduction, like he had just caught his foot in a bear-trap, but he extended his hand, saying pleasantly enough, "Admiral, pleasure to meet you."

Archer actually took Bones' hand, giving it a brief but firm shake. "Likewise, Doctor."

Pike apparently thought that they had met and greeted enough people, because for the rest of the time, they stood in that loose circle talking and getting to know each other. Bones apparently liked Felding well enough, telling Pike, 'At least you didn't stick me with a complete idiot.' Archer had laughed at that, slapping the captain on the back and telling him, 'damn, you picked well this semester.' He then asked the doctor where he was from, apparently having had an old friend who had an accent not dissimilar to Bones'.

They actually had a bit of fun, Bones scowl lessoned and Jim felt relaxed for the first time in a week, probably in years. He honestly felt like he belonged there, at Starfleet, making cracks about admirals he didn't know in person, but had read enough of to know they weren't exactly up to snuff. Archer and Pike seemed intrigued with his knowledge of the admiralty, but all Jim had to do was remind them that Winona had been in Starfleet, and that he had all but breathed Federation rumors and news during his childhood.

Archer took a real liking to Bones, as well, who couldn't seem to refrain from grouching about anything that came to mind. Jim was sure he was trying to get them to leave as he had with the other cadets, but these men were just as crazy as Jim was, and they thought his acerbic attitude was hilarious. By the end of it, Archer had managed to get the doctor to crack a smile by doing the worst impersonation of him the world had ever seen.

Jim was almost sad to see the luncheon end, but Archer said he'd be seeing him Monday, bright and early, and Pike said the same for Tuesday. They both bid farewell to Bones, with threats that they would see him around. Then they dispersed and the two cadets decided to go to the library to look up a few things for their upcoming classes before they picked up their daughter.

+ststst+

Joanna was running up to the door with a smile on her face. Bones had randomly decided that they should pick up dinner on the way home, and the thought of more macaroni and cheese had her excited to get home. She stopped short, when she saw three boxes piled just outside the door. Her bright, blue eyes lit up, and her mouth fell open as she touched both of her little hands to them.

"Boxes!" she proclaimed, looking at all three of them with open wonderment. She looked back to Jim and Bones, who were coming up behind her at a much more leisurely pace, Jim holding their bag of take out, and Bones holding onto Sellit and Jo's backpack. "Daddy!" she said. "I got boxes!"

Jim knew they were from Maggie Jay, having promised to send some of his things when he left last week. He walked up to the first one, which had the addresses typed up on adhesive paper, seeing the last name McCurdy typed curtly on the sender's line. He smiled, before he reached up to punch in his access code.

"We sure did, Jo-bear," he said with a smile. He brushed his hand over her hair, left loose today and tangled like mad. "Let's set our stuff down and then Papa and I will come back for them, 'kay?" It still felt weird to call Bones 'papa,' and the doctor still made faces when called that. However, he felt it was beneficial to Jo, less confusing than calling him by his name. He didn't know what the deal was with 'papa' for Bones, but unless he could find a better epithet to use, that was what he was going by.

She looked up at him with a blank face, stating again, "I got boxes!"

"I know. Don't worry; we'll come back for them. But you have macaroni and cheese, remember?"

She clapped her hands together, remembering her first love above all else. "Cheese!" she yelled as she hopped, literally hopped into the suite. He glanced back at Bones, who had a smile on his face again as their daughter bounced around like a bunny.

"You don't mind helping me, right?" Jim asked, feeling oddly guilty for volunteering Bones for a handyman job.

Bones looked at him, smile still on his face. "No, I don't mind."

Jim nodded, and entered into the apartment, Bones right behind him. They went to the kitchenette and Bones set Sellit and the backpack down in the corner of the entrance while Jim set Jo up with her meal, which consisted of a grilled cheese and ham sandwich as well as the macaroni. Joanna would not be lacking in calcium when she grew older. She was addicted to dairy products and apples. Then he and Bones went out to gather the boxes, setting them down on the couch in the living room.

Jim decided his dinner could wait, pulling the tape off the first box quickly. He knew at least one box would be clothing, air sealed so that Maggie Jay could fit as much as possible into one box. But the others were a mystery. One would probably be the pad to his holoscreen, but other than that, he didn't know what the hell she had decided he and Jo couldn't live without.

Bones sat on the coffee table, watching with barely hidden curiosity. His interest was mirrored almost precisely in Jo, who watched 'her boxes' with an intensity no two year old should have. He knew she wasn't really interested in the contents of the boxes, just with what she could do with the boxes afterwards. She was already building forts in her mind, he was sure.

As he expected the first box was nothing but air-vacuumed bags of clothing, both his and Joanna's, and a few toys thrown in for good measure. He dumped them all out onto the couch, putting the empty box down on the floor.

"Clothes?" Bones asked, picking up one of the flat, plastic-wrapped bundles of clothing.

"Toys, too," Jim said distractedly, already pulling the tape off of the second box.

Bones stood up this time, no longer able to contain his curiosity. Jim cast a hesitant look up to him, suddenly feeling as if he was reopening his life before the doctor's eyes. He cast it aside quickly. Bones knew what had been the last three years of his life. A pregnancy and little girl. That pretty much covered the bases. He pointed to the last one.

"You can help, if you want," he offered, hoping beyond hope that he wouldn't regret this.

Bones didn't need to be told twice, he opened the third box, pulling out the pad for Jim's holoscreen, rolled up tightly for travel, and setting it behind him on the coffee table. The next thing he pulled out was a small larger padd. He paused, looking down at it with confusion marring his features. Jim hesitated in pulling out his few paper books.

"What is it, Bones?" he asked, stepping closer.

Bones peeled something off the screen of the padd, showing it to Jim, a frown worrying between his brows.

Make sure Bones gets this.

That's what the note said, and Jim felt another three o'clock call coming on, full of curses and death threats. The almost comfortable air they had been sitting in suddenly became tense. Jim swallowed, his mouth and throat suddenly dry. What the hell was that woman doing?

Bones turned on the padd, pulling out the stylus from its slot. "This McCurdy knows I'm here?" he asked in a neutral tone, tapping the stylus against the touch-screen.

"Yeah," Jim rasped, looking over at Jo, who still watched them intently. "I told her Monday."

"You talked about me?" Hope again, and Jim almost wanted to hate Bones for it; really wanted to kill Maggie Jay for causing it. Jim had just thought that maybe Bones would be okay with a simple friendship, and she was pulling this shit!

Jim shrugged. "You are Jo's father. I needed to let the people back home know that we met again." When Bones didn't even glance up, Jim got nervous. He stepped closer, wondering just what Maggie had sent that would cause Bones to be so enamored with that padd. "What is it?" he asked.

Bones moved the holoscreen to the floor, and took a seat, leaving enough room for Jim to join him. "They're pictures," he said, still staring at the screen.

Jim thought he meant that Maggie had sent pictures of Joanna when she was a baby, but as Jim sat and looked over Bones' shoulder, he saw not their daughter, but himself. He was three years younger and sleeping on Maggie Jay's overstuffed couch, one arm thrown over his eyes, and the other resting on his stomach, which at the was only expanded enough to where his t-shirts were just a bit snug.

Four months pregnant, if he had to hazard a guess.

Jim's eyes widened at the picture, and he couldn't help but exclaim, "that bitch!" At the bizarre look he got from Bones, he continued. "She told me she deleted those damn pictures!"

"Joanna's in the kitchen," Bones reminded him quietly, his hazel eyes switching between the picture and Jim. "Why did you want to get rid of these?" he asked, almost sadly.

Jim sighed, glaring at the picture. Bones clicked to the next one, and Jim was in his old apartment, sitting at his old table reading a book. His stomach was larger than in the last one, he could tell easily through the loose sweater than hadn't been loose enough. Six months pregnant in that one.

He shook his head, "I hate having my picture taken. I try to get out of them as much as possible."

The next picture was close to the previous one. Jim had just caught her snapping that picture of him and was flipping both Maggie Jay and the camera the bird.

Bones chuckled at that. "I never woulda pegged you for bein' camera shy, Jim," he said, his accent coming out a bit more, resembling the Bones he had known in Louisiana more than the Bones he knew now, in California. "You were always kinda the center of the party in New Orleans."

Jim shook his head, too distracted by hating Maggie Jay's guts to notice that Bones had brought up New Orleans. "I've always hated getting my picture taken. Even when I was a kid."

He was happy when the next one was of Jo, still at the hospital and asleep in her crib. Her mop of curly brown hair was messed up, even then and she had both of her tiny hands up by her head. He smiled at the picture, looking up at Bones with a fond expression still on his face. "She was about sixteen hours old in that picture. Maggie Jay had just gotten off her shift and she snapped three million pictures of Joanna while she slept. Most of these next ones will probably be of her sleeping."

"I don't mind," he said, clicking over to the next picture, which as Jim had thought, was of Jo still asleep and ignorant to the world around her. When Bones spoke again, his voice was full of emotions and it almost sounded like he was choking on them. "She's even more beautiful than I imagined."

Jim looked up at the man beside him, sadness and regret tugging at his heart as he saw the glossiness of Bones eyes. He couldn't imagine looking at his baby through pictures the way Bones was. Jim had been there, staring at his daughter in real life, touching her soft skin, and picking her up every so often to hold her while she slept, to feed her. He couldn't imagine having to look at her and not know what she felt like, what sounds she made.

"I'm sorry," he told Bones for the first time since they had re-met, since Bones had discovered their creation.

Bones looked up at him with an unfathomable expression, his eyes still bright with un-fallen tears. He took a deep breath, before shocking Jim by reaching for his hand, holding it tightly but not painfully, as if he just needed the reminder that Jim was really there. When he spoke again, Jim was even more floored by the words the slipped through his lips in barely more than a whisper. "So am I."

Jim didn't know what the hell Bones had to be sorry about, but he found he couldn't ask. His words trapped in his throat, he could only stare at Bones with remorseful blue eyes, hating the fact that Bones met his gaze with forgiveness. God, Jim would never be this calm, never be so forgiving. He would never have been able to forgive Bones if their roles had been reversed. He almost wanted to ask Bones how he could be okay with all of this, even if Jim was trying to make up for it.

"This isn't all on you, Jim," Bones said, his voice still quiet. He glanced down at their hands. "I should never have gone back to Georgia. I should have…"

Jim gave his hand a gentle squeeze, gathering Bones' attention. "It's probably better that you did. At least this way we have the chance of being friends."

The words tumbled out of his mouth, and they sounded weak, even to his ears. Jim rapidly understood what had caused Bones to make that pained expression when he had introduced him to Admiral Archer. 'Friend.' In the light of Bones' confession it felt stale and lackluster. It was the best he could offer, though. He wouldn't risk Bones hating him for a few months of happiness. It just wouldn't be worth it in the end. At least this way, he could always see Bones, could laugh with him, and watch their daughter grow with him even if he wasn't with him.

It would be better this way. He could learn to live with it and Bones would wake up one day and realize that he only wanted whatever he wanted because Jim was the father of his child. It was natural to want a working relationship with the person who gave birth to his daughter, and Jim didn't slight him that. But he would get over it. Bones would move on in a month or two, because though the three days had been exceptional, and this week hadn't been the worst in the world, Jim was no catch. Bones could do better than him.

"Friends," Bones repeated. "That's all you want?"

Jim almost wanted to stand up, to put some distance between them, but his mind wasn't sending the proper signals. His feet stayed immobile on the wood flooring, not moving to take him across the room. He didn't even let go of Bones' hand. He couldn't even nod, though he knew he should. He should say yes, that was all he wanted.

It wasn't true, though. It was what they needed. They needed to just stay friends, and forget that New Orleans was ever something special to them. But Jim wanted what Bones was trying to offer him.

He stayed still, hand still in Bones,' watching as Bones leaned towards him, green eyes holding his blue easily. The distance between them reduced, and Jim's lips parted against his power. He could feel Bones' breath against his face, warm and mingling with his own shortened breathing. Their eyes were still open, still watching the other, still taking in all the feelings that reflected the swirling emotions in their chests.

Jim should have leaned back; he knew he should. He had an entire list of why this was a bad idea, why they shouldn't be doing this. He had dreamed of this though, dreamed of this man and his kisses and his hands for three and a half long years. His conscience screamed 'no' at him over and over, but his subconscious told him to lean forward, to close that ever diminishing gap, that it would be okay just this once.

Joanna hopped out of her chair, her feet hitting the floor with an audible 'thud,' startling them both. Jim jerked away, all of himself coming under the control of his mind and more importantly the logical side, the side that was right. Christ, how long had she been watching them? He had nearly forgotten she was there at all; he had been so wrapped up in Bones, in lingering feelings they shouldn't even fucking have.

He looked over to their daughter, who was running towards them, and more importantly the empty box on the floor. "My box!" she giggled happily as she tipped it over and crawled inside it. "Daddy! Papa! I got a box!"

"I see that, Jo-bear." "Looks like fun, baby."

The spoke at the same time, giving her platitudes as she tipped the box over on top of herself, curling up as small as possible so that she could fit all the way under it. Jim looked back to the man beside him, his feelings still welling inside his chest, but firmly in control of himself.

"Just friends," Jim said again, barely firmer than the first time, but that little bit more resolve made it sound as if he meant it.

Bones met his gaze evenly, his face neutral save for his clenching jaw and his eyes that showed just as much emotion as Jim felt. He nodded, short and swift, as if someone had just pushed his head forward against his will. He kept his mouth shut, visibly trying not to argue against Jim's decision.

"Thank you," Jim said, standing again to continue going through the rest of the two boxes still on his couch. Bones stayed on the coffee table for a few minutes longer, before he picked up the holoscreen pad, asking gruffly, as if they hadn't just nearly kissed, which wall Jim wanted to hang it from.

Jim hated him a little for that, too, for pretending that they were fine when they weren't. He hated himself even more for being too cowardly to bring it up himself. He had never had a problem speaking his mind, never faltered to bring up a conversation that needed to be had. He didn't know why Bones affected him so badly. He just knew that he wanted Bones to stay in Jo's life and in his.

+ststst+

(let's do the time warp again)

InnocentGuilt