A/N Okay, I finally learned what that "A/N" means ^^ But better late than never, right? I just copied everyone else to look smart but something tells me that didn't work out... Who cares? I've still got my chocolate! Ahem, let's just leave it at that. Anyway, I've been thinking of publishing a new, very different story but I think that'll have to wait since this is story's using up more braincells than I tought. Let's see, I'll dedicate this chapter to... the inhabitants of the sacred Muchroom Jar. May many blueberrys fall upon your left toenails at noon and bring chaphappy ducks to justice! Random? What makes you think?
Yeah, that's right! I suddenly turned into a 32yearsold japanese guy named Tite Kubo overnight! I own Bleach! Moahahahahahaha! *plopp* ...and then I woke up.
Sirs? May I remind you that you now have 7 minutes to finish your breakfast, and that it would be very much appreciated if you would please hurry up or the entire well-planned schedule will collapse and bring world-destruction?
"Yes, thank you very much for the reminder, Sue. We will be done in a minute or so"
"Thank you very much, sir, for your cooperation"
"Please, call me Sosuke"
"Huh? Oi, Ichigo, what the fuck happened to your ass?"
A panting, half-dead strawberry glared up at Ikkaku Madarame from the floor
"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks for asking you asshole!"
A brain-dead, drooling Renji groaned loudly and lifted his head off the plate with cottage cheese smeared all over his face. No one will ever know why Renji ate cottage cheese for breakfast and judging the state he was in - I doubt he knew why either.
"Too... loud... grmfzxheaght" the living hangover said before passing out, face down, in the white, sticky... stuff (just cottage cheese, everyone! Nothing else!).
The evil traitor Sosuke Aizen, who betrayed the soul society and murdered the entire central 46 sighed into his coffee and shook his head at the mess as Ichigo shoved said mess aside to make room for himself (really unnecessary, since the rest of the cafeteria was empty).
"Oh Renji, what am I supposed to do with you? You can't go around and drink yourself unconscious every weekend. I know it's new and fun at the moment, but please - you have to think ahead. In 10 years or so your body will have become a barely breathing wreck, and you will ask yourself 'why did I ever start drinking?' It's your future we're talking about here! By the way, did you know the risk of becoming an alcoholic is much greater if you start at a young age? I think the risk drops by 19% each year you something something something nag nag nag nag"
Ichigo rolled his eyes and stole Ikkaku's sandwich and shoved it into his mouth, praying the 'thou shall not drink the devil's water' - speech would come to an end once the preaching actor realized they weren't listening. The ex-owner of the stolen sandwich was slowly leaving the table and sneaked away towards the closest emergency exit.
"Look, I think he is waking up!" Sue loudly proclaimed, interrupting Aizen's alcohol-speech, as she lifted the poor Renji to his feet. Only to see him fall to the floor in a moaning, disorientated heap covered with cottage cheese and green leek. But hey, at least he's awake! Pleased with the result, Sue E Side nodded slightly and pulled the poor man up by his long hair and fired off a freaky smile right into Renji's (despite the white goo) unprotected face.
"I greet you a good morning, Mr. Abarai Renji Sir" she said, tilting her head to the side "I beg for your forgivneess, but I must regrettably disturb your meal. You are running late to your appointment at the make-ups, and they will not take your delay very lightly, I am afraid. Please, do follow me, or I will have to make you. I hope you enjoyed your breakfast, sir."
Renji gulped. 'Why does this always happen to me? Hey god, what did I ever do to you? What am I doing here? And why's my face covered with white sticky... I don't wanna know.'
"Uh, yeah! Right! Okay, I'll go! I'll go on my own!"
Back at the table Ichigo tried to muffle the sound of his laughter using the half-chewed sandwich, resulting only with a very dirty tablecloth and a lot of mature-content language from Aizen.
'Man, feels good not to be the one chopped up for once!' he thought. The sight of Renji getting beat up by a girl (even if that girl happened to be a monster), covered with white sticky stuff was just too much.
"What the fuck?"
"Hahahahaha, sorry Renji, I just... pfffftahahahahahaha~
Renji glared at the teen rolling around on the floor laughing like an idiot. Then the scowl changed. The man's evil grin covered the whole face.
"Say, Sue, Isn't Mr. Ichigo running late as well? I mean, for such a busy person to be rolling around on the floor doing nothing is a bit..."
It became quiet. Much too quiet. Renji had said the forbidden words.
"Oh my, I almost forgot! Thank you very much, sir, for the reminder." Sue turned her still smiling face to Ichigo. "Words can not express how dishonored I am to have forsaken my duties, sir, but I will do my best to correct my errors. If you would please follow me, I promise I will make it up to you "
"That's okay, really. It's not a big deal and I can take care of it myself and..."
"Oh No, You Must Let Me Help You. I will not let you turn me down, sir"
Sue still held Renji's hair in a firm grip, and now that the tuft began to grow eyes and emit green-coloured smoke, Ichigo decided to just go along with whatever the hell happened
A/N Hi, it's me again... remember? I'm aaalways there, watching you from behind... DUCK! Ahhh, seriously! What's wrong with me? okay, I'll try and stick with the story. So this is the 3:rd chapter, and I'll be off to spain in... tomorrow, so I won't update for at least another week. I think it's a week, not sure, my parent never tell me anything. I will now bid you farewell.
No I won't. Gula ankor till er alla. Om du kan läsa det här är du antingen svensk eller kollar för mycket på "True Blood" ^^ - And whatever you do - don't translate the holy swedish sentence! It will slowly melt your brain and you won't get right right anyway. You have been warned *glares*
WIERDOS!