A/N: Hello! I was so excited because I finished! Finally! This has been on my to-do list for over a year! I still have an epilogue, and as always I didn't edit. But here it is the final chapter! The ending I decided on when I set out to write this story! I do apologize if it's not amazing, by any sense I'm sure it's far from. Enjoy!
-c.c
For the first time in a long time, I'm not sore as I wake up. Also, I can tell that I'm incredibly happy, for reasons I'm not entirely sure. I remember Claire Embry stopping by yesterday, and Summer. And then Claire dropped by?
I open my eyes and find myself lying comfortably on my back in my bed. And then I feel it. The warm body next to me, cuddled up into my right side. Moving my eyes slowly, hoping it's a moment that is worth lasting…and it is. Claire is huddled into my chest deeply asleep, her right hand resting on my bare chest. And then I realize something besides Claire's presence, or an aspect of Claire's presence.
She wants to be beside me.
I replay last night in my head. She kissed me. We didn't say much, and I didn't mind. She was there in my arms, wanting to be there. She was so bold and confident in kissing me, not the way she had been all those years. It was assertive, mature, and sexy as hell.
She stirs ever so slightly; her eyes moving underneath her eyelids. I know she's awake for sure. Quickly, I close my eyes to pretend I'm asleep not wanting Claire to think I think I was creepily watching her. My breathing is too rapid, I'm nervous. Why should I be? We had only made out, maybe did a little more. I didn't ask questions. It didn't seem like she wanted to talk and I didn't want to make it more complicated. It was late, she slept here. No need to be worried…except we didn't say one word last night to each other, but it didn't feel like it was just physical. Could that just be the imprinting?
Her hand that was lightly resting on my chest moves and slides up to my shoulder. She stretches signaling that she is awake. Her head nuzzles her head in my neck and I open my eyes shocked at her movement.
"Morning," she whispers quietly.
Almost as an involuntary movement, my arm wraps around her waist and my head turns towards her and I place a kiss on Claire's soft forehead. "Morning," I whisper.
We lie there for a moment in silence, except for the sound of the birds chirping happily outside the window. I don't want to say anything that will overstep our silent boundary or truce. I don't want to make her run. It would hurt too badly after feeling her wanting to be beside me. But as the minutes linger on I know I have to say something. "Breakfast?" I ask quietly, sleep still in my voice.
"Sure," she whispers quietly.
Gently I sit up, helping her do so as well. She stands up behind me, and stumbles groggily. Taking her hand, I lead her towards the kitchen.
"Sorry, bathroom," she says as we pass the bathroom door.
I smile and nod. Once in the kitchen, I realize how little food I have in the house. I look like someone who doesn't entirely take care of himself at this moment. I'm usually not like this. Usually there's tons of food, especially with Embry's frequent food binge visits at my house after patrol. Looking through the cupboards I realize that every single one of them is empty, except for the plates and cups. Finally I open the fridge and see a note attached to the empty milk carton which read:
Sorry, needed fuel. Knew you had company and didn't want to disturb you.
-Embry
Angrily I crumple the note in my hand. Embry knows or thinks he knows.
As I sigh and close the refrigerator door, I hear my phone ringing from my bedroom. Dropping the crumpled up note from Embry, I run back through the hall to my bedroom and frantically fumble with the button to answer.
"Hello?" I manage breathlessly.
"It's Emily," her voice sounds at the other end of the line. "Some of your mail arrived at our house and I was going to bring it over on my way out to Seattle to meet some old friends, but Embry said you had a Visitor so I wanted to call first."
Fuck you, Embry! I think to myself. He can't even keep his mouth shut about one measly thing. I pace through my room, letting my mind catch up with Emily's words. "Yeah," I stutter out uneasily. "Stop by on your way out."
"Okay, will you still be home in an hour?" Emily asks lightheartedly.
"I plan on it, but if things change, you've got a key, will you just put them on my counter?" I say trying to keep up with her positive tone, knowing that if she suspects anything unusual she'll report that to Sam—and the gossip wheel over the untitled relationship between Claire and I will continue to turn.
"Alright, see you in a bit," Emily says as her departing line.
I hang up the phone and walk back through the hall, where the bathroom door is open, towards the kitchen.
"Claire?" I call. "Embry raided the kitchen. There's no food, but if you want to go out and get…"
I'm cut off by the empty kitchen and living room. Scanning the rooms there's no Claire to be found. I walk back to the bathroom, just to check. The open window provides the answers I'm looking for. I walk slowly up to it and see that it's been pulled open enough to where Claire's slender body could easily fit through and jump the three feet to the muddy unkempt flower bed below. There are the mud imprints, the remnants of Claire's visit, her footprints.
Escaping out the window? This seemed like the Claire I disliked the most. It wasn't the "I don't need to be protected" Claire of her young teenage days, the unsure but trying Claire when they had dated all those years ago, or the confident but sorry Claire when she came back from college. It was the Runaway Claire, who popped up every so often to run away from Quil instead of confronting what was going on, instead of giving a definite yes or no answer, or not standing her ground, always easily persuaded by Quil's presence.
I fucking hate Runaway Claire.
I stand at the window sill in the bathroom, staring at the footprints. Defeated I shake my head and wonder, as I often did after Claire made an unexplained or sudden exit, what the hell did I do to make her run?
I open every cupboard and drawer in my classroom checking for anything that I had left in them. The room looks so empty without the posters that I had up for the past four years.
"You know it always looks bigger when you leave then when you move in than when you move everything out," a somber voice says from the hallway. Embry walks slowly into the room, hands in his pockets.
"Summer doesn't mind you driving with me all the way to West Virginia?" I ask pulling out my desk drawer. It's empty, though I do see the small dent I put in the metal drawer when I punched down on it after the Thanksgiving that Claire visited her first year at college.
"Nah, I can never be tamed by a temptress like her," Embry smiles slyly.
"Wow," I say in disbelief. "I think that may have been your longest relationship, even though it was on again, off again. Glad to know you're out chasing tail again. No pun intended, sorry."
"Yeah," Embry replies, but then pauses and goes to sit on the nearest desk. "You know I remember moving you into this place. You thought this class room was so small. Now it looks so big."
"Yeah, my lecture hall will be about ten times the size and my office will be a shoebox." I pick up the small white box, the last of four that contained items from my classroom that were already in the uhaul with all the rest of my belongings from my house. Walking out of my classroom for the last time, Embry follows in pursuit and I flick off the light in the classroom for the last time.
We walk to the parking lot in the mist of a cloudy day in silence. Embry opens up the trailer and I place the last box inside. "I'll take the first leg?" Embry offers. I throw him the keys.
I watch the scenery as we drive out of Forks, saying goodbye to the places outside the reservation that had been simple staples in my life for the past thirty-six odd years. "You sure about this?" Embry says as we are about to hit the highway.
"What is there to be sure about?" I say. Glancing at Embry I know he means Claire. "Embry, she wouldn't stay. You know that. I saw her at the staff meeting for all teachers before the school year started and she did her best to stay away from me. There's no point. She's probably accepted that proposal of that Nick guy. And if she's happy, I'll find a way to be happy.
"And no," I warn. "You cannot tell me about her. Even if you know something about her and her life, you keep it to yourself, you hear that?"
Embry presses his lips together and focuses hard on the road, "Yeah I know. You've been telling me that for three weeks after she didn't return your calls, or even try to contact you."
"Not even if you know something good that would make me happy. Don't try to get my hopes up," I interject into the speech I've been making to everyone for weeks.
"Because Claire is a restless soul. Blah. Blah. Blah," Embry says and we drive in silence for a minute and I hoped he could tell that I didn't want to talk about her. "You know I won't fly out to drive you home when you can't live without the constant rain or Claire."
"She's made up her mind Embry," I say coldly. "Drop it." He pissed me off.
Embry and I rarely fought over something serious that couldn't be resolved within an hour or two, but after driving for two states the unsettled feeling still remained. Embry had crossed a line and he knew it. He was too optimistic about the relationship between Claire and I that simply didn't exist. Every time Embry brought her up, no matter how much I hinted or said I didn't want to talk about it, it brought back the feeling of resentment I had towards Claire and now the final feeling of being defeated.
Finally, as to feel as if I am not taking out my frustrations of my relationship with Claire on Embry I forgive him. "If I do come back to the reservation, you will be coming out to help me. You owe me for every single time I played wingman for you since we were sixteen."
"True man, but I think I'll try to come up with some other ways to resolve that debt," Embry laughs and the tension that we'd been driving with simply fades. He is well aware that I don't want Claire to be mentioned anymore. His posture changes at the wheel, instead of leaning into the window, he sits straight in the seat.
We stop for lunch and Embry buys, more out of an apology rather than the convenience that he claimed. I drove the next leg, while Embry texted frantically for hours. "Summer?" I ask confused having never seen him text more words that "yes," "no," and "sounds like a plan."
"Yeah," he says uncertainly and shifts uncomfortably towards the window, his two day old grey t-shirt was wrinkled from his position. I looked down to see that my red one resembled the same state, but maybe not as bad.
I glance at him from the corner of my eye but try to keep my eyes on the road as my exit toward my new hometown approaches. Then it dawns upon me and I say, "oh god, you're sexting while I'm in the car."
My accusation makes him laugh almost uncontrollably. "No, I'm just arranging a flight home because mine got cancelled. I'm trying to get a flight that's almost at the same time on another airline."
"Oh," I say embarrassed. "I didn't know airline's now texted."
"Well they do," he says shortly before looking back down at his phone. "You're going to miss your exit."
"Shit," I exhale and swerve over two lanes, the uhaul screeching behind my truck. I gain control of the truck again and follow the exit that leads towards my new home. After a half hour more of driving I ask Embry, "You want to grab a bite in town before we get to the house?"
Embry agrees. My new town appears somewhat like a movie, pristine streets with matching street lamps, antique like bike racks, and sapling trees lining the sidewalks. The whimsical storefronts which had probably been 'mom and pop' store at one time and kept their classic store fronts but now had become upscale art galleries, photo studios, and restaurants of varying class. I found two parking spots parallel to the shops, just three store fronts down from a small diner on the corner, and park my truck and the trailer.
Embry continues to text intermediately throughout dinner and dawdles ordering, eating, and insisting on dessert. "Unlike you I'm a hungry, active wolf," he claims in justification.
I roll my eyes. Committing to preventing the shifts between my two states had been a hard change but I had completed it. I was supposed to be aging just like Claire. A twinge of regret hit me when I thought about her and leaving her.
Embry checks his phone one last time before taking the bill and paying it. "Ready?" he asks.
We leave the diner and I note that it might become my usual spot. As we walk towards my truck I scuff my feet in the slate sidewalk, kicking random stones, but Embry slows down, dawdling and looking in shop windows. "You know how I told you I'd repay you for all those years you played wingman for me?" Embry asks staring at a painting in a closed gallery window, pretending to be interested.
I stop and look at him, questioning. "What you're going to buy me an overpriced, ugly painting?"
"No," he says turning to me, hands in his jean pockets. "No, your repayment is leaning against your truck."
My eyebrows pressed together in a puzzled expression and I turn back to my truck. There leaning her back against my truck, hands in her blue sweatshirt pocket, staring at her red converse shoes, was Claire. My heart leaps and I stand there in happy shock. Embry claps me on the shoulder and asks, "Do I owe you anything anymore?"
I don't answer him but simply walk towards her, excited but cautious. She looks up, apologetic smile upon her face when she meets my stare and pushes against the truck to stand straight in front of me. I stop four feet in front of her, aching to reach and touch her, but painfully holding myself back in fear of rejection.
My breathing is heavy as I stare at her.
"I flew here," she says. I can hear fear in her voice. "And I took a horrid smelling cab."
She pauses, presses her lips together, and looks down at her feet, slowly moving her hands from her sweatshirt pocket to the back pockets of her jean shorts. I can tell that it's suddenly hard for her to speak and I have that conflicted feeling whether or not to reach out to her. She inhales and exhales sharply.
She looks up. "I'm sorry. "
She pauses again and the urge to slip the little piece of hair that had fallen from her pony tail behind her ear was harder to repress.
"I'm not really good at apologies and tying to make things right," Claire says as her voice goes to a slightly higher pitch and begins talk faster. "But—um—I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry for ambushing you here. I'm sorry for making Embry lie to you and text me on how to get here," she continues. "Well those are my current apologies.
"And I'm sorry for showing up, and then running away, and not talking to you after and not showing up until now, obviously," she rambles beginning to talk with her hands. "And for all the on and off stuff, and leading you on –and I should probably tell one more time that I'm sorry for everything and I want to make amends," she says out of breath after her exhausted ramble.
Shock. Pure shock. I repress the smile that I so desperately want to spread across. I don't want to be mislead by all of this.
She suddenly needs to fill the silence, like she's finally saying all the thoughts that she had held inside for all these years. She always was over thinking. "I never liked the idea of this imprinting and destiny—and you knew that I was going to fight it no matter what. But it comes down to the fact that that summer, I really, really liked you, but I wanted a normal college experience. And I got it! And I loved it. I loved Nick," she begins talking really fast again.
It's good that I repressed my urge to kiss her now. She's dashing my dreams of everything by proclaiming that she's in love with Nick.
"But I came home and you were still the same, but so different. And then I couldn't help myself all those times, cheating on Nick repeatedly. And then I realized that I wasn't being a good person to either of you. So I broke up with Nick and I avoided you like the plague. And I was sick of the whole tribe trying to manipulate, give an opinion, and trying to fix our relationship," she says and she tucks the piece of hair that I wanted to tuck earlier. "And then I decided to finally do what I should have done a long time ago, and mostly because Embry and the rest of the tribe were all giving me a guilt trip because I made them promise not to tell you that I broke up with Nick and I wanted to stop you before you moved, but then I realized that you gave up your job so you were going to move here anyways, but also because I realized that I might actually, really like you."
She exhales sharply once again and ends by claiming, "Wow, that was a really long sentence."
"Are you done?" I ask.
She only nods.
I'm ready for the real test. I keep a straight face and say, "I love you."
She walks forward apprehensively appraising my reaction. When she's two inches away from me, she looks up at me, takes her hands from her pockets, presses them lightly against my stomach, looks up and me, and says, "I know."
I lean down and kiss her underneath the street light, right next to the bike racks, almost the happiest I've ever been because she didn't run away. For the first time there is no apprehension. I hold her face as I kiss her and Embry wolf whistles in the background. When I let her go, we press our foreheads against each others.
"You're debt's repaid Embry," I say loudly so he can hear me. Claire laughs and I revel in her smile.
He chuckles in response.
I lean down and kiss her again, finally happy that Claire had stopped thinking.