Little big planet ch3; snow, primates, ACTION!
The 3 are shown riding the coaster through what appears to look like germany.
Jay: why does this go into the alpine run?
Sg: dunno.
En: !
Sg: how do we even get-
The coaster crashes into a house ceiling and they fall out.
Sg: -out?
Jay: we made it!
En: !
Jay: um… en its over.
A man who looks like a clock enters.
Hans gross: mine machine! Itz ruined!
Sg: sorry….
En: you need to attend a carnival.
Hans: before you even think of me going there, you must finds thyne childrens!
Jay: heh heh you talk funny.
Hans: its mine accent.
En: how hard can to be to find kids.
En steps outside and is instantly frozen.
Sg: we need warmer clothes.
One outfit change later…
Jay: ok lets split up.
EN
After riding on skaters, and dodging- cows? What kind of area is this! He finds a waffle looking kid in a cable car.
Big hans: please help!
En: looks dangerous….
Big hans: I vant to go home and eat chocolate.
Tom: chocolate…. Did you say-
En: not now.
Tom: oh ok sorry to bother you.
Tom leaves.
En: how do I work this?
Big hans: pull the switch.
One objective later…..
Big hans: we mad vit!
En: now I just wait….
A green spaceship lands on him and a familiar person comes out.
Hawk: you see 3 fox rabbits. One with blue goggles and a scarf, one in a red shirt with a yellow neck thing, and a blonde one with half her face covered in shadow?
Big hans: no.
Hawk: ok darn I just spoiled a section of a future story! Eh who cares.
Hawk gets in his ship and flies off.
SG
After long beating a snowman and getting balloons in a balloon, sg comes across second hans.
Second hans: lets go.
Sg: wow my part was discreditably short….
JAY
Jay: I need to hurry.
A saint Bernard enters.
Dog: hans sent me to help you.
Jay: cool I get to ride a dog.
Jay hops on and the dog starts moving.
Dog: I smell little hans, but be warned, hes a big little stinkbag.
Later…..
Jay runs into a round kid.
Little hans: hi!
Jay: lets get you home….
He rolls him and-
Fart.
Jay:0_0
Nearby animals: 0_0
Dog: 0_0
You: 0_0
Me: 0_0
Various other icons: 0_0
Later…
Jay is shown rolling little hans and wearing a gas mask.
Jay: im back!
Sg: good.
En: whats that smell?
Hans gross: my machine is fixed now I can send anything one place to another.
Sg: cool!
Jay: can it send us where we need to go next?
Hans: yep just sign vis.
Jay signs a piece of paper.
Jay: whats the paper anyways?
Hans: it says if you get lost, injured, or have your molecules rearranged its not my fault.
Jay: oh ok.
The 3 step on a pad and hans presses a button and the 3 vanish.
Hans: it works.
Little hans: I pooted.
The predator busts down the door.
Hans: can I help you?
Predator: yeah the author doesn't like farting of your kids kind, so if he ever breaks wind like that again, ill be back to beat ya so bad you will have to make sundials. Kapish.
Hans: yes…sir…
Predator: good….
The predator is about to leave.
Predator: ill take that clock for an annoyance fee.
He grabs a clock and goes.
Predator's voice: you need softer doors that almost broke my foot.
Little hans: daddy im scared.
Hans: me two son me two….
Meanwhile….
The 3 rematerialize in tinsel town.
Me: this is my favorite area so don't complain if the chapter is long!
Jay: ah tinsel town, home of the stars.
Mr.t: dang right succa!
They find a director.
Director: im ed wooden, but everyone calls me the director. You 3 look like you could have skills in the movies.
Sg: really?
Director: yeah in fact I got 3 roles open, 2 in stunt acting and one other role.
En: dibs on non stunt!
Sg: cool we get to be in the movies.
Jay: whats it even called?
Director: little bug planet. Its about alien robot bugs.
Later…
Director: ok stay in camera shot. And ACTION!
Jay: e gadd its hideous!
Sg: I know! And its gunna kill us!
Alien bug: kill!
Director: cut! Good!
After evading alien bugs, they take five.
Director: ok you know your part en!
En: no.
Director: you run away from monsters!
En: MONSTERS!
Director: action!
A bunch of monsters run in.
En: its just a bunch of props…..
Mcgruff: mcgruff kill!
En: aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
En runs screaming.
Director: eh might as well finish that other movie…
One crack of rats back later…..
Director: ok no screw ups I had to remorgage my house to afford this set!
Jay: whatever that means.
Director: ok you go in the ship and enter the mother ship.
He does so.
Director: if only I could fast forward this…
Hawk: I can!
He fast forwards to an alien brain thing.
Director: use the bombs to kill it!
Jay: k!
Jay throws bombs at the brain and it vanishes.
Jay: cool!
Director: you 2 are amazing! Im promoting you two to lead actors in my next film.
Jay and sg: cool!
Later….
Jay is shown in a helicopter.
Director: ok this film is called the sewn identity. You are playing as double o something. The baddie is called utter von nutter. Now jump out of this helicopter.
Jay: awesome!
Jay jumps out.
Director: he forgot the parachute.
Jay lands in front of a scientist guy.
Utter: ah zi sack jay….. Ve finally meet.
Jay: now what?
Utter dodge my robots.
Jay is shown on a pile of destroyed robots.
Utter: ok….
Director: ok now for the lazer scene, fake ones cost money so we are using real ones.
Jay: makes sense to me.
After dodging lazars jay meets up with utter again.
Utter: ah double o something. You will never save the leading lady!
Sg is shown in a cage.
Sg: save me double o something!
Jay: wait isn't the leading lady a non sack person?
Me: I didn't like her concept.
Jay: oh….k.
Later…..
Sg: lets book it!
The 2 run to find utter in a rocket.
Utter: see you in the sequel!
The rocket takes off.
Sg: ok… wana ride that car?
Jay: yeah!
The 2 get in a car.
Sg: floor it!
Jay does and the car drives past explosions, fire, and cloud strife fan girls(no offense to cloud fan girls).
Director: perfect! Im gunna get an award for this!
Later…..
Jay, en and sg exit a limo wearing tuxetos(the guys) and sg in a dress.
En: I hate showbiz.
Sg: hurry up! The award show is gunna start and im hosting!
Laterz…..
Sg is shown on stage.
Sg: ok our first award goes to-
A giant gorilla arm bursts from the ceiling and takes sg.
Sg: ok not awesome!
En: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Jay: sg!
Director: Ron bad primate! I knew I should have casted airman.
Jay walks on stage and picks up an earring.
Jay: en we got to save her!
En: I dunno it sounds risky…..
Jay: come on!
The 2 ride a sandbag to the top.
Window washer: some monkey took a sack girl.
Jay: sir we need your washer riser thing!
Washer: no!
Airman pushes the washer off the building.
Jay: work this en.
After dark electric clouds, they reach the top of the winch.
Jay: that was close.
En: all electrocuted and crud): says you.
Maid: that monkey went by here, and he had the worst teeth.
Jay: we are close.
En: this is a very tall building.
They reach the top.
En: guess its not here.
Voice: ron no like!
A giant gorilla rises with sg in his fist.
Ron: me no like pain!
jay: let her go!
Ron: no!
En: finally a boss type battle.
Ron: ron smash!
En: oh my.
Jay: stay sharp!
They manage to dodge ron's fists.
Sg: im freaking out here!
Jay: don't worry!
Ron lowers his fists and head onto the roof.
Ron: squish puny rag things.
They mannage to evade being crushed by grabing his eyebrows.
Ron: get off!
Jay falls off and grabs on to one of ron's rotten teeth.
Jay: these are filthy….
The tooth and jay fallout and land back on the roof.
Ron: ow! Pain is less!
Sg: yeah pull them right out!
Jay: en lets yank teeth!
En: gross…
En manages to yank out a tooth.
Ron: yow!
Sg: only one left!
Jay: lets do this.
En: (sigh)… fine…
The 2 grab onto the last tooth.
Ron: yarg!
Jay: I feel it coming lose.
En: remind me to boil my hands after this.
The tooth falls out.
Ron: pain is gone…
Ron collapses and sg manages to get out of his hold.
Sg: phew that was so not awesome…..
Sg feels for her earring.
Sg: my earring… its gone!
Jay: oh here you dropped it when ron took you. Here let me put it on for you.
Jay puts the earring on sg then sg grabs him.
Jay: huh?
The screen changes to en with a disturbed look on his face. you also hear kissing noises in the backround.
En: oh my…..
The noises stop and jay walks in with lipstick marks all over his face.
Jay: definitely the best 15 seconds of my life…
Jay faints.
Director: well done you 2 now come on we got a carnival to attend!
They leave except for jay. Sg walks back in.
Jay: huh?
Sg: come on we are leaving.
Jay: oh lets go!
The 2 run back to the others.
To be continued…..
Cast;
Jay-himself
En-himself
Sg-herself
Ed " director" wooden-himself
Alien bugs- those alien face huggers from alien
Utter von nutter-
Mr.t-himself
Ron- himself
Window washer- tom hanks
Maid- ms. butterworth
Airman- himself
Monsters- monsters
Double o something- jay
Unnamed leading lady- sg
Whoever en played- en
Chuck Norris- himself(duh)
You-you(again duh)
Everyone else- who cares.
Ok now to be continued…