Author's Notes: Yes, I am a suckage major because this was released way later than I intended it to be. I'm in summer school right now, and it's a difficult class, so bear with me please? On a good note, chapter thirteen is in the works and is a HUGE chapter. So, something to look forward to! Now, onto something more important.. UMMM, *points to review count* Yeah, holy crap. I'm absolutely blown away. The last chapter received 300+ reviews, and this little story of mine is already almost at 1500 reviews. I'm not even going to try and ask you all to top that. Seriously. That made being sick, being hated on, and going back to school all totally worth it. You guys are full of total WIN, and I can't thank you enough for everything you all do! Hugs and kisses to all of you!

I know I say thank you to Erica all the time for what she does, but I don't think any of you realize that she is so much more to me than just a beta. She's become one of my closest friends and I actually tell her everything nowadays. She's always ecstatic to hear about anything I'm excited about and is there to comfort me if I ever need it. She's also the number one reason why I ever posted this story up in the first place, so you should, you know, thank her. I know I do all the time! I laaabs you, Twinkie. You're the best. MWAH. And stop laughing at my awkward public moment from earlier, ass! :(

Also, thank you so much to everyone for all the positive vibes sent my way. It really helped a lot. Some people just don't understand how hurtful words can be sometimes. But, all is okay now, and I promise you it's not getting to me anymore. And to a select few of you who said I shouldn't be asking you not to hate on my characters cause then the review is just what I want to hear.. That's not what I meant. Go ahead and get mad at them, just please don't make your entire review based solely on your anger towards my Jasper or Alice or Bella or whoever. You saying "Wow, what a dick/bitch etc etc" does not tell me if you're enjoying the story or how I can improve on anything. Get what I'm saying?

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the ALLTB plot and Beforeward. Actually no, Erica owns Beforeward, my bad!

A Little Less Than Before

Chapter Twelve;

My Skin

"Well content loves the silence; it thrives in the dark with fine winding tendrils that strangle the heart. They say that promises sweeten the blow, but I don't need them. I've been treated so long as if I'm becoming untouchable. I'm the slow dying flower in the frost killing hour - sweet turning sour and untouchable."

Alice Cullen

The shock on Bella's face, the pissed off look on Edward's, and the know-it-all face of Jasper was all too much for me to handle. If I didn't get out of there, I'd end up throwing a rant worthy enough to be broadcasted worldwide on television. "Thanks again, guys. We'll see you later." I yanked on Jasper's arm a little too roughly and tried to remain calm until we were back in the confines of my Porsche. I threw the save-the-dates into the glove compartment and pulled out of the lot as soon as Jasper shut the door.

"Holy fuck, darlin', slow down!" Jasper buckled in his seatbelt while I pushed for 60 on the not-so-crowded, Seattle streets.

"Just what the hell was that all about, Jasper?" I asked angrily, slamming on the brakes to avoid running a red light. His face rammed into the dashboard, but I could care less. He deserved it after the stunt he pulled.

"I was just asking how things with Tanya went. What's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong with that is I told you about Tanya in secrecy! How could you just blurt it out like that? Not only is Edward going to be pissed off at me for telling you, but you didn't even consider how Bella would feel hearing that. Jeez!"

"Then don't you think Edward should have told Jezebels in the first place? He was keeping it from her, Ali!"

"Or just waiting until the right time to tell her, perhaps?" I groaned. "God, Jazz! Bella just dealt with the fact that you and I were secretly dating for a year. And now this is thrown into her face, too? What the hell! Edward is going to tear a new one into me... I can't believe you!"

"Would you stop thinking about what your brother is going to say to you and instead focus on the reason why I brought it up? Edward was engaged. If he and Bella are going to have any kind of future together, don't you think he should have been honest?"

I couldn't take it anymore. I swerved off to the side of the road and shoved my foot down onto the brake pedal, bringing my precious, lovely car to a halt. My fingers gripped the steering wheel harder as I sighed in pure frustration. "Do you hear yourself when you speak, Jasper? You are being such a hypocrite!"

"How exactly am I being a hypocrite?"

"You said it'd be better to keep our relationship from her. I don't think that's being honest. Edward and Bella are still getting to know each other. You think he wants to blurt out that he asked his girlfriend of five years to marry him someday and then she ended up cheating on him on their anniversary?"

"Can you please get back on the road? We'll discuss this when we're not in your 60,000 dollar Porsche," Jasper said calmly, drumming his fingers against the back of the seat.

I sighed and tried to keep my tone under control. "Edward was going to tell her, Jazz."

"Really, now? How do you know that?"

"Because I know my brother, Jasper!" I yelled, slamming my hand onto the steering wheel. "I know that he likes Bella even though he's too scared to admit it! You don't know how badly he was hurt when Tanya cheated. You think you know, but you seriously don't! You didn't see him that day. You didn't hold him and call your older brother miles away just because he needed his family that badly. You think he wanted to reopen that wound he managed to heal?"

He stayed quiet before turning to me, his eyes softening because he probably just realized he'd made me cry. Stupid, over-protective, asshat boyfriend.

"Why are you crying?"

Ass! "Damn it, Jasper. Really?" I wiped my nose and huffed in frustration. "I'll tell you why I'm crying. Because my brother who I love has finally come back after leaving to Chicago, but he's mad at me! Because he finally seems to want to get to know a girl rather than just get in her pants! Because for the first time in such a long time, he's finally opening himself up. Because I know Edward could make Bella happy, and I want that more than anything, but you're just ruining it! You're ruining everything they could possibly be!"

I sobbed and threw my head back into the seat. "And I'm crying because you're the reason why it feels like Bella isn't my best friend anymore! I told you I wanted to tell her. I told you we should've just let her know. But, no. It backfired on us tenfold, Jasper! Our best friend ran out on us crying because it hurt her that bad. She threw shit at you because she was that pissed off. And now it's so awkward every time I see her because what the hell am I supposed to do to make this better? God!

"I want everything to just... stop being so bad! I want Bella and I to be okay again. I want to stop stressing over such little things about our wedding. I want Edward to be happy. I want you to stop butting in." I threw my hands over my face and cried it all out because, damn it, I was frustrated. I missed Bella. I felt sorry for Edward. And I loved Jasper, but he was pissing me off like no one would even know.

Didn't he want Bella to be happy? Didn't he want her to find someone who could be with her and make her smile every single day? Why did he have to be such a goddamned idiot?

He did the right thing by shutting his trap as he went over to my side of the car, pulled me out, and held me on the curb I had parked against. He didn't say anything, but that was fine because I didn't want him to say anything to me unless they were going to be the words "I'm so sorry". And since I knew he was too prideful to admit he was wrong, hugging was the way to go.

He surprised me, though.

"I'm... I'm sorry, darlin'. Really, I am," Jasper whispered into my hair. "I just don't want Jezebels to get hurt. I fuckin' love her. You know that. I'll behave now, okay? I will."

"Good," I muttered, sniffling quietly. "Edward's not a bad guy."

"No, I suppose not if he's your brother, right?" He kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry again."

With a shake of my head, I buried myself closer into his hold. I hated that all of this was happening on top of the wedding plans to be made, but that was life. I wanted so much and couldn't have it because nothing is that easy. I felt like a sissy for being unable to handle it all coming at me at once, so I took Jasper's offered arms and let myself absorb it all while he held me and told me everything would be okay.

I was okay to drive after I let some of the pent up frustration out and instead of spending the evening with Jasper at his place like I'd originally planned, I took him home and drove to talk to someone I knew could cheer me up.

I parked in the lot and walked inside the large building, waving to the receptionist as I made my way through the cubicles. A few people casually waved at me before going back to work. Usually I was friendlier and took time to chat here and there and ask what was up and how life was going.

That wasn't the case at the moment.

To avoid being rude, I knocked on the door I was standing in front of before turning the knob and heaving a sigh at what I saw.

Emmett must have known I was coming because he was already standing with open arms before I could even say hello. Without a second to spare, I threw my purse down, jumped on top of his feet, and hugged him because he was like a gigantic teddy bear.

"How did you know?" I asked, wiping one of my eyes quickly.

"I'm psychic," he laughed. "And I also got a little help from Evelyn saying, 'Mr. Cullen, your sister just walked in. She'll be at your office in less than two' on line one."

I laughed along with him as he patted the seat across from his. I threw my elbows on top of his desk and rested my chin atop my knuckles, letting out another long and heavy sigh.

"So, what's up?" Emmett asked, twirling a pen between his index and middle finger.

I explained the whole Jasper, Edward, Tanya thing as simply as I could. In all honesty, I really couldn't tell if he was even paying attention because he seemed to be staring at something fascinating on the wall behind me while I spilled my guts out in hopes of finding some sort of relief. My eyebrow twitched in irritation as he continued to nod and stare.

"And I just... I hate how Jazz thinks so lowly of Edward just because he had a questionable past. Everyone's made mistakes."

"Well, sis, I don't think Jasper is purposely trying to be a douche bag. I mean, he's been friends with Bells for forever, so I'm sure it's just his protective brother-like bear qualities coming through. I don't think it's Edward he has a problem with, more of just any guy in general, know what I mean?"

I pondered that for a moment. Apparently, he did pick up everything I said while nodding and staring like a goon. "So, then why would he ask about Tanya just like that? Don't you think it was unnecessary?"

"'Course it was unnecessary," Emmett laughed. "But we're men. We don't think with our brains. Why do you think we get into so much trouble?"

"Do you think he'll ever be okay with the idea of Bella possibly being interested in Edward?"

"Ali, you know Eddie. He's going to find some way to sweep Bells off her feet without taking shit from anyone about how, when, or why he does it. Jasper isn't going to stop him from what he wants - which apparently is your best friend. I think all you can really do right now is just... keep watch of what your lover says to Bella." He stroked his chin in thought. "Wait just a second... Have you told Jasper about the women from Chicago?"

I froze and chewed on my bottom lip, playing with the hem of my shirt as I avoided his questioning stare.

"Aha! I know that look! You told him? Why would you do that?!"

"He's my best friend, Em! I'm sorry!"

He slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Well, that kind of sucks a little bit. Did you ever tell Bella about it?"

"I've mentioned it a few times, but I don't think the information ever really stuck through since she had never met Edward."

"Then you'd better make sure your cowboy keeps his mouth shut until Edward tells Bells himself." Emmett shook his head. "I mean, I would tell you to tell her, but it's not your story to tell."

"I know," I agreed. "I'm sure Edward will tell her soon enough. They're not really even dating or anything, but sooner or later, he'll fess up. Edward likes Bella, I'm sure of it."

My older brother nodded and stood up once again, dusting off his pants before patting my shoulder gently. "Try not to be too pissy towards Jasper, alright, sis? I'm sure he means well, he's just going on about it idiotically." He wrapped one of his gigantic biceps around my neck and ruffled my head, giving my cheek a big, sloppy, older-brother kiss. "If he continues to be an ass though, I'll beat him up, alright?"

That is the exact reason why I loved Emmett so much.

"Em?"

"Yeah?"

"Have I ever told you about my friend Rosalie?"

Bella Swan

I watched as Alice and Jasper left my apartment, leaving me alone with Edward where I could either confront him about lying, or forget about it and move on.

Edward wasn't, in absolutely any way, my boyfriend. I couldn't get angry with him for failing to mention his previous engagement, but it bothered me a little that it was never brought up. Not once.

But, I really wasn't mad. Disappointed maybe, that he, too, lied to me, but definitely not mad.

I sighed and waved it off casually, trying to laugh as I picked at my pizza once again. The look on his face made me feel even more awkward with the whole situation. "I'm not mad, Edward. There's no reason for me to be. So, don't look at me like that. Now what were we talking about before Alice and Jasper came?"

"Bella," Edward took my plate away as I raised a brow at him. "I'm sorry. I should have brought it up."

I shook my head. "There's no reason to apologize. I'm not your girlfriend, remember? Why would I be upset that you, like any other person on this planet, had a previous, serious relationship?"

"Because I didn't want to lie to you like Alice and Jasper did."

His words shot through me as I looked up at him. "Edward, they're my best friends. And of course, I have feelings for Jasper, so it hurt a little more. It's not like I have anything to get mad at you for. We haven't even known each other that long, so really, it's fine."

"Just because I haven't known you for years, it doesn't give me the right to keep something like that from you, Bella, and I'm sorry."

"I told you, it's fine."

"It's not," Edward argued. "I'm trying to apologize."

"And I'm trying to say I forgive you." I tried not to laugh. The situation was almost humorous. Edward and I were fighting because we were apologizing and forgiving. Weird. "Really, it's okay. Just tell me one thing. Does it actually mean temptation now, or did you just pull that out of your ass?"

"It meant temptation the second her and I were over."

I nodded. "Then, see? I'm not mad at all. I mean, I'm pretty sure Jasper didn't mean anything by it. He was probably genuinely curious as to how things went with this Tanya girl and didn't know that I hadn't heard anything about her yet. How did that go, if you don't mind me asking?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you when I calm down from wanting to punch Jasper in the face." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "But... You say it hurt more because Alice and Jasper are your best friends, right? So, what exactly am I to you then, if it doesn't bother you at all?"

I quirked a brow again. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean it exactly the way it comes off as. What are we? Friends who just kiss and feel nothing, or friends who kiss and just don't know where to go from there?"

My cheeks reddened at his abrupt bluntness. It was a question I was beginning to ask myself, too. To be quite honest, I really didn't know what we were. I knew I was attracted to him, but I also knew my heart was already taken. It was just - in one word - complicated.

"You need to tell me these things, Bella. I thought one thing and then thought a completely different thing right after. I mean, you proclaim your love for Jasper one second and the next we're kissing. You bawled your eyes out when you found out Ali and Jasper kept a secret, but you smile and pick at pizza when you find out about mine. You love Jasper, yet you kiss me. Seriously, Bella, give me a clue. I don't really speak 'girl', so these things aren't exactly the easiest thing in the world for me to understand."

I stared at the ground and suddenly felt an overwhelming amount of guilt wash over me as Edward's words seeped through. He and I weren't even dating. What kind of signals was I giving him by going to his place and kissing him like he was my boyfriend when he was anything but?

I sighed. Everything suddenly made sense. And I couldn't believe how much of an idiot I was. "We're friends, Edward, and you're right. I shouldn't have agreed to let you kiss me good night, and I shouldn't have kissed you after dinner with Alice and Rose. I apologize for that. I wasn't thinking."

His face remained the same. "So, we are just friends."

"Yes."

"Nothing more?"

"Nothing more," I agreed.

He stayed where he was and inhaled a breath before speaking. "Okay. Friends. That's fine with me. I just wanted to know."

I eyed him curiously as he handed me my slice of pizza, carrying on with another topic before I could ask him why it mattered so much. It wasn't brought up again, and instead, we went on with our getting-to-know-each-other talk as if Alice and Jasper had never stopped by.

When Edward left, he didn't try to kiss me. I couldn't blame him for taking two steps back, though I did kind of miss the comfort and the electricity that came with his soft lips.

Stop it, Bella!

The days went by without any kind of word from Edward. I was expecting to possibly see him at work, but Emmett told me he requested a few more days off to get himself settled. I'd text him here and there, but he always replied late and with very short answers. It shouldn't have bothered me, but it did. It felt like he was almost avoiding me. Like he constructed a wall around himself and refused to let me in. I didn't like it, but I was the one who said we were just friends, so it was my decision to live with.

Valentine's weekend finally rolled around, and even though Alice and I were on slightly better terms, I wasn't ready to be civil with Jasper just yet. She asked if they could stop by, but I had to decline. The last time he had stepped foot in my apartment, he blurted something out that was none of his business. The time before that, I threw half of my living room at his face.

Yeah, definitely not ready to be civil.

My phone beeped to let me know I had a new message.

That's okay, Bells. Find something to do this weekend, please? I want to hear stories when I come back. -Alice

The morning light poured in through my window as I stared at my phone and replied. I'll try, but no promises. What time is your flight?

They're actually boarding now, I think. I just wanted to say happy Valentine's day to you. I love you. I'll bring you back something real pretty, I promise.

From my bedroom, I heard a knock at the front door as I sighed. With a lazy yawn, I made my way over to the entrance, figuring it was probably one of my neighbors who needed to use my phone again because they'd locked themselves out during their morning run.

I texted Alice back, saying I loved her too while wishing her a safe flight and a wonderful trip to San Francisco. It relieved me that she was giving me the time I needed to get over it all, and I promised myself that someday after everything passed, I'd sit her down and tell her everything. It was hard to stay mad at Alice because I knew she meant well with her actions. I just needed time, and she was finally beginning to understand that.

Without bothering to look through the peephole, I opened the door and almost shut it just as fast because it was Edward looking like he'd just stepped off of a magazine cover while I stood there in my pajama pants and my hair tied into a messy bun. Freaking great.

"What are you doing here?" I blurted, pulling the strap of my tanktop back up my shoulder.

"Morning to you too," he laughed. "Your hair, umm, looks like a haystack. And I actually kind of like it."

"Jesus, Edward," I sighed, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious. It was the first time I had seen him in days and if he hadn't had looked so damn appealing, I would've demanded an explanation as to why we hadn't been hanging out. "Spare me the small talk and just cut straight to why you're here, please?"

"Well," he started, "I was just stopping by because I wanted to see what you were up to because I know you have the weekends off. Are you free today?"

"How about you first explain to me why you've been ignoring me these past few days?"

Edward quirked a brow. "Ignoring you? I haven't been ignoring you. I answer your calls. I reply to your texts. I've been busy with unpacking and such."

I huffed. He had a point. He hadn't completely ignored me. In fact, he wasn't really ignoring me at all. We just... didn't talk as much. Damn. I hated being wrong. So instead of admitting it, I just nodded and changed the subject. "Edward, do you know what today is?"

"Of course I know what today is."

"Does it seem like lonely old me would have anything to do while my best friends are on a plane to California?"

His lips curved into that damned crooked grin that could work wonders. "I was hoping you'd say that because," he pulled out a lovely arrangement of wildflowers from behind his back, "I'm taking you out. Happy Valentine's Day, Bella."

End of Chapter Twelve


Author's Notes: I know it was short, but that's because the next chapter is an important one and I couldn't put too many details in here about it. Hehe, you'll just have to wait and find out, I suppose. It will be out faster than this one, don't worry! I know I always say that, but I write out of order sometimes, and that chapter was one of the ones I was really excited to write out!

So, the question from last chapter got an overwhelming response! 90% said it depends on which ex, and how it ended. The answers varied from "I could totally handle it, we're still friends" to "Oh hell no. I'd kick him in the nuts", and I laughed hysterically each time! As for me, I can't. Not anymore, at least. It's become much too awkward for him and I because he made it that way. Plus, he's a little on the stupid side because his current girlfriend "doesn't allow" him to talk to me. Yeah, no thanks. I want a man, not a goddamned boy. Sheesh. But, thanks so much to everyone for the answers!

Next question: Who's the first person you run to when you're upset?

Love,
BB