Author's Notes: I fail. I know I do, I'm so sorry. I could sit here and spew reason after reason for why I haven't updated or answered reviews or PMs, but it would honestly be a waste of your time. I don't want to give any excuses and will accept any loss of readers my absence has caused. But for those of you still with me, I love you all. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the reviews on the last chapter and for helping ALLTB hit 1K reviews! I'm awestruck and completely in love with you all for doing so. Mega thanks to my beta-Twinkie for the excitement she always has whenever I mention updating, for talking to me in desperate times of need, and for being the friend she always promised she'd be. I love you hard, soulmate!

Disclaimer: I do not own. Sadly.

A Little Less Than Before

Chapter Fourteen

Untouchable

"Untouchable like a distant diamond sky, I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why. I'm caught up in you, I'm caught up in you. Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun. And when you're close I feel like coming undone."

Bella Swan

I was in the midst of the most calming sleep I'd had in a very long time.

Was being the operative word.

Three loud knocks echoed throughout my quiet apartment, and I groaned audibly into the pillow against my face, pulling Teddie closer in hopes he could somehow work some stuffed bear magic and shut the noise up. I figured it was one of my obnoxious neighbors who loved to bug me for the most random of things. And maybe, just maybe, if I pretended to sleep and ignore them, they'd peacefully walk away.

Wrong.

Whoever it was didn't relent with their knocking and as much as I wanted to march over there and give them a piece of my mind, the hopeful part of my brain kept chanting they'd grow irritated with my lack of response and just leave me alone.

"Bella, I know you're probably awake so how about you make this easy for the both of us and just let me in?"

My eyes immediately narrowed at the voice coming from the outside of the door. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours ago that I was having a lovely dream of Edward Cullen and how ridiculously sweet he was. And now that was shot to hell. Not only had the real Edward ruined my dream Edward, but he was also pounding on my door at seven in the morning on a Sunday.

I was going to give him a piece of my mind, dammit. With a huff, I wrapped my blanket around my shoulders and slumped over to the door. Once I opened it, I nearly lost all the determination I had to chew him out for coming over so early. He, yet again, looked like he had just stepped off a magazine cover.

"Cute," he smirked, giving my wardrobe and hair a once-over. "Didn't have to get all dolled up for me, Bella."

I snorted at his sarcasm. "Mind filling me in on why you decided to grace me with your presence?"

"Whoa, meooow," Edward laughed and grabbed my arm, pressing a light kiss to the inside of my wrist. "Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Should I be afraid of you clawing my face off, little angry kitty?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes in humor and gave up being angry. As irritated as I was that I was rudely awakened on a weekend, him being around me settled my aggravation. "I won't claw your face off so long as you have a good explanation for why you couldn't wait until normal hours to come over."

He tugged on the blanket wrapped around my shoulders and nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck. "Would you believe me if I said I just couldn't wait any longer to see you?"

His breath was warm and ticklish against my skin, and I sighed in somewhat contentment that the feeling from last night had returned. "Is that the reason?"

"Half of the reason," he corrected.

"The other half?"

"I remember you telling me you'd go out on a date with me. Or have you already forgotten?"

I remembered very well that I agreed to go out on a date with Edward, I just didn't think that it'd be less than a day after I'd said it. "And where exactly is this date going to be if it requires you to be here before the rest of the city is up?"

"I can't tell you that. But I can promise you that no one will have ever taken you there for a first date."

I raised a brow. "You think my love life is that boring?"

"I never said that. I just know for a fact that no guy will have even thought to take you there." He pulled away from my neck to roll up the sleeves of his dark green button-up. "Now, go take a shower and get dressed, and I'll make you some breakfast."

There was really no point in arguing when it came to an argument with Edward, so I didn't even bother. I sucked in my pouty lip and swallowed down any snooty remark I was ready to throw at him and instead walked back into my bedroom and turned on the warm water in the shower.

After lathering, rinsing, and repeating, I stepped out feeling refreshed and actually excited for what was to come. I had no clue what Edward had up his sleeve, but he promised I'd probably never been there on a date, so that really piqued my curiosity. After blow-drying my hair and taming it down as best as I could with a brush, I threw on a casual, gray long sleeve and my favorite pair of regular skinny jeans. This was going to be our first official date and judging from Edward's apparel choice, we were going down the casual route. I honestly didn't mind because fancy French restaurants that had you use three different types of forks and cost the same as an iPod for a three-course meal was really not my scene.

Once I finished up with a brush of mascara and a touch of lip-gloss, I opened my bedroom door and the mouth-watering aromas of whatever Edward was preparing hit me like a ton of bricks. Any previous thought I'd had about being mad at him dissipated as I wandered into the kitchen. He had already prepared me a plate of bacon, an omelet, buttered toast, fresh fruit and a glass of orange juice. I don't know why his omelet smelled heavenly while mine usually just smelled like eggs cooked with Pam cooking spray.

Edward smiled and gestured for me to sit at the couch with him since I didn't have a dining table we could have seated ourselves at. He handed me my plate and after I thanked him, we both dug in and fell into easy conversation like always.

After we finished breakfast, he told me to give him my basket full of dirty laundry sitting in the corner of my bedroom. I honestly had no idea why he'd even ask for such a thing, but I handed it over since it was like I'd mentioned earlier, there was no winning when it came to arguing with Edward Cullen.

To say I was shocked upon realizing why he'd asked for my dirty laundry would be the understatement of the decade. While I stood beside his car, still flabbergasted, he made his way into the Laundromat with both his clothes and mine.

I tried asking myself if this was some sort of a joke. Was he really taking me to a place full of washers and dryers for our first date? Really?

I followed him in shortly after and found that besides an elderly woman and a middle-aged couple on the other side of the room, we were the only ones there. I spotted Edward at some kind of a vending machine with different varieties of laundry detergent and fabric softeners inside.

"Are you a Downy girl? Or do you prefer Gain or Bounce, or even Tide?" he asked, looking very thoughtful as he tried to decide which to pick.

"Edward, I don't mean to sound like a total brat, but, are you serious?" I raised a brow at him when he turned to me with the same thoughtful look still plastered on his face.

"Very. I've always used Downy, but if you use something else, I'm willing to deal with change."

My mouth dropped open in realization that he was freaking serious. We were doing our dirty laundry for our first date.

When I didn't reply to his question about which detergent and softener I used, he picked his own and I reluctantly followed him to the back corner where he began to load in his clothes. Darks with darks, whites with whites. I did the same with my clothes and threw them into the washer right next to his. He was definitely right, no guy had ever taken me to a Laundromat before. Not even Charlie or Jasper.

Once he inserted a numerous amount of coins into both machines, we each leaned against the vacant washers and watched as our clothes tumbled back and forth in the soapy water. There was somewhat of an awkward silence between us until he chuckled and pushed his little clothes cart in front of me. I arched a brow at him and pushed it back.

He smirked and pushed it with a little more strength, bumping it into my ass and causing me to squeak out in surprise.

"Just what is your problem, Cullen?" I huffed, pointing at the clothing cart I had used. "I've got my own. I don't need yours. Or if you want me to take it back to the front, just ask instead of shoving it at me."

Just as I said that, Edward zoomed past me while standing on his freaking cart. My eyes widened as I watched him glide down the aisle of washers and dryers, immediately remembering the first rule on the sign above us, "No riding on or inside the carts."

And since I really didn't want to be kicked out and be forced to drag soaking wet clothes home, I chased after him. I was actually quite surprised that the dinky cart held his weight as he raced away from me, chuckling loud enough for me to know he was doing this on purpose. The nerve!

"You know," he called out, "it'd be easier if you got on one too."

"It's against the rules of this place, Edward! It says so right there." I pointed at the sign above us.

"It's against the rules," Edward mocked. "I'm all about breaking the rules, you know."

And with a cocky grin and another annoyingly cute chuckle, he went off in another direction. I sighed and eyed the unused cart beside me, mentally berating myself for even considering it. But, he made it look so fun, he seemed so carefree, and...

Oh, to hell with the rules.

I hopped up onto the cart and squealed once it moved on its own from the pressure of my weight. I followed Edward's tactic and pushed at the ground with one foot as I glided down the tiles of the Laundromat. It was like riding one of those scooters when you were a kid. Suddenly, I was glad the place was somewhat deserted and that the manager was doing his own thing on the other side.

A flash of dark green zoomed by, and I laughed in victory because I had finally caught up. Edward must have heard me giggle because just as I was about to pass him up, he turned around and kicked my cart back a few feet. It made a loud noise, and I knew at that moment we'd been spotted. The manager cleared his throat and eyed us like we were the plague before walking back in the other direction.

Edward gave me a crooked grin and came towards my cart. "I didn't mean to kick you back, it was a reflex," he explained, wrapping his arm around the small of my back.

"You are such a child," I giggled, inhaling the scent of his shirt that was most definitely Downy.

Once we got back to our machines, it was time to put our clothes in the dryer. I still had no idea why Edward suddenly felt the need to do laundry, but I wasn't concerned any longer. I was having fun, as I always seemed to have whenever he was around. His childish attitude was adorable and so contagious I could hardly stand it. Our clothes dried faster than they washed, surprisingly. Once I had everything in my cart, I wheeled it over to a vacant folding table with Edward right behind me.

"Hey, Bella?" Edward was peering into my cart, eyeing my laundry like he was up to something totally not good.

"What, Edward?" I shot back with a hint of a smile.

"Since this is a date, how about we switch things up? You fold my clothes, and I'll fold yours."

"You know," I started, "it's funny that you mention the word 'date'. Typically when two people go out on a date, they go to a restaurant or the movies or something. But, here we are at the Laundromat. Care to explain?" I know I had said I didn't care anymore, but the curiosity was killing me.

He just smirked and said absolutely nothing as he took my cart and pushed his at me. I rolled my eyes at his avoidance and decided to just fold his clothes. Maybe the dinner or movie part of the date would be coming up, and I just needed to be patient.

We folded each other's laundry in silence. I sorted his piles according to color. I didn't really know if he organized his clothes a certain way, but he'd just have to put up with what I was giving him.

"Ohh hoh, what do we have here?" Edward chuckled, holding up one of my favorite pairs of Hello Kitty panties. "Alice wasn't lying."

"Hey!" I shrieked as my face flushed red, and I jumped out to get them. He was taller and quicker, so he easily evaded me and held them up higher, smiling down at me like he'd just won the jackpot. "Edward!"

"Give me a kiss, and they're yours."

"They are mine, idiot! Now, hand them back!"

He puckered out his lips and wiggled his eyebrows and suddenly all the anger within me melted away. I tried as best as I could to appear pissed, but my yelling soon transitioned into laughs and before I even realized it, his arms were around my waist with his forehead pressed against mine, Hello Kitty panties in hand.

"Have I ever told you how much I enjoy making you laugh?" Edward asked, his sweet breath fanning over my lips.

I shook my head and snagged my panties back, shoving them into the front of my shirt before he could protest.

He threw his head back and laughed. It was such an honest, comforting sound. "You act like I wouldn't take them from there."

"Would you?"

"I would."

I tsk'ed him and crossed my arms across my chest. "No kiss for you for admitting you'd reach into my shirt on the first date."

"Are you going to kiss me at all on this date, Bella? I'm dying here," he joked, snaking his arms tighter around me.

"I don't kiss on first dates."

"Oh, yeah? But you've kissed me before."

"Doesn't count. We were never on an official date."

Suddenly, he hoisted my body up and sat me down on the folding table behind us, placing his hands down on each side of the table beside my hips. "So, how many official dates does it take before I get my kiss?" Without giving me a chance to answer or mention the rule about not sitting on the tables, he gently pressed his mouth against my neck once. Then another time. And once more after that.

My eyes involuntarily closed at the contact as I ran my hands up his well-defined arms. Even through the fabric of his shirt I could feel the muscles of his biceps and triceps as he leaned in to kiss my collarbone. Without thinking, I softly pulled my fingers through his tousled hair and giggled when his lips and slightly rough chin pressed against my throat. I wondered when was the last time he'd shaved.

"Mm, not only do I get to make you laugh, but I get to feel it, too? Do that again," he murmured against my skin.

"It tickles, Edward. Ever heard of shaving?"

Instead of answering, he just nuzzled his scruff against my neck and I, for some reason, just laughed and pulled him closer. He looked up at me with those shining emerald eyes, and I damned my first date rule, wanting nothing more in that moment than to kiss him like the night before.

"You two again?" The manager's voice startled us both, and I immediately hopped down off the table. He looked furious. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave if you cannot respect the policies of this vicinity."

With a shrug, Edward tossed both our piles of clothes into the same cart and began wheeling it out to the entrance. I followed after him, wondering why he paused in the middle of the aisle.

"You still didn't answer my question about the kiss, Swan." He flashed me a crooked grin and held his hand out.

With a roll of my eyes, I slipped my hand into his and entwined our fingers together. "Guess you'll just have to wait and see, now won't you, Cullen?"

Edward Cullen

After we left the Laundromat, Bella and I headed back to my parent's place since I had agreed to housesit for them while they went on their annual Valentine's getaway. They never told any of us where they went, so they could have a weekend to themselves. If we really, desperately needed either of them for anything, we could always call their cells, but usually that was never the case. They may have been my parents, but they were still a normal couple deeply in love and needed their space every now and then.

I surprised Bella yet again when I had her change into one of my old shirts from high school and a pair of shorts from Alice's old room. She protested at first but eventually gave in when I refused to back down. I had to admit, seeing my track shirt from high school on Bella was pretty damn hot. Especially since "E. CULLEN" was ironed onto the back. I was pretty small back then, but the shirt still engulfed her and made the shorts she was wearing seem barely there. I shouldn't have been thinking thoughts like that, but I really couldn't help it. She stared at me as I filled a bucket with water from the hose, making suds float out the top. I felt her gaze on me and laughed before I tossed her a sponge. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"The second part of our date is me helping you wash your car? Are you serious?"

"I'm very serious. Can't drive a dirty Volvo around, right?"

"You need to pick up one of those dating books." Bella rolled her eyes with a snort and dipped the sponge into the bucket. After it was thoroughly covered in soapy water, she leaned over the hood and started scrubbing the windshield. I smirked at the sight and whistled at her, holding back a laugh as she flipped me off.

I went to work on the tires and left side of the car while she scrubbed at the windows and the right side. I kept peeking underneath the Volvo to steal glances at her long legs as she tiptoed to reach the roof of the car. Just as I ducked down to peek again, she was gone.

And that was when I felt the hose spray at me from the side, drenching the right half of my body.

The culprit was none other than Bella, who had the sexiest "Yeah I'm guilty, so the fuck what" grin on her face. I made a note to get her to wash cars more often.

"If you're going to ogle my legs, at least do it in a less obvious way." And just because she was a tease, she pulled on the lower half of my track shirt and tied it so the lower half of her torso peeked out at me. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a backseat window to scrub."

Two can play at that game.

"You're absolutely right, Bella. I'm sorry if my staring made you uncomfortable." I grabbed the hem of my soaked t-shirt and flung it to the side, internally grinning as her eyes widened. It was more than obvious she was trying to stare through the windows of the Volvo, but since she was the one who had just put soap on them, there was no one to blame but herself.

"We're only on our first date," she said, "and already you're half-naked. Something is wrong with that picture."

I chuckled heartily and crossed my arms over my chest, leaning against the hood to watch as she scrubbed furiously at the door handles. "You've gone to beaches, haven't you? Men are half-naked all the time, and I'm sure you haven't gone on dates with them, right? Look at it this way, not only are we on a date, but I've also kissed you, so I'm two steps ahead."

"You grabbed my ass yesterday too, don't forget that."

"See? Three steps ahead of every other guy you've seen half-naked." Bella said nothing in response to that, and I took a few steps closer to her. "You don't have to do anything else. I'll take care of the rest." I grabbed her hand and took the sponge from her, dropping it to the concrete as I snaked my other hand into the back of her hair. "May I point out that I like you in that shirt a little too much?"

She smiled slightly and as I leaned in towards her mouth, she whispered, "I found your other tattoo." Her thumb gently rubbed over the ink along the V cut on my abdomen, and I tried desperately hard not to make any kind of noise that would offend her. "What does it say?"

The words inked onto my skin dipped downwards where her eyes couldn't see, and as much as I wanted to tell her what it was, I held off. "One of these days, you just might find out. What's your middle name?"

"What?"

"What's your middle name? Tell me so you forget this is our first date and you'll let me kiss you."

She laughed that insanely beautiful laugh of hers and placed her hands on my bare chest. "Marie. My middle name is Marie. Yours?"

"Anthony," I whispered. "Now, can I kiss you?"

I didn't wait for a confirmation or even a denial and just went in for the kill. Her lips always felt amazing. The way they molded so fittingly against my own, and the softness they always held. I sighed into her mouth, the smell of car soap and wet pavement heavy in the air around us as I pressed her up against my dampened Volvo.

Her hands were cold and wet and left goosebumps along my arms as she twisted her fingers into my hair, inviting me even closer than we already were. We were so in the moment that I was bold enough to try and go one step further. Slowly, I slipped my tongue inside her mouth and groaned quietly when I made contact with her own. Suddenly, her touch didn't feel so cold anymore. My body was on fire, burning with the intensity of merely kissing her against my car.

I caressed her neck, she pulled my hair, I licked her lower lip, and she moaned in response. It was the absolute best first-date kiss, ever.

"I like when you kiss me like that," I whispered into her ear. A flush crept up her neck, and I was more than sure my eyes darkened with the lust building within me for her. But, the last thing I wanted was to fuck up whatever it was Bella and I were. There was no way Five-minute Edward was coming anywhere near Bella.

"So do I," she murmured as her fingers danced along the length of my spine. Her smile was genuine, as was the sparkle in her eyes as I leaned down and gave her a gentle touch to the lips.

I would not fuck this up.

We eventually finished washing my car and went back inside to clean up afterwards. She used one shower, and I used the one in Esme and Carlisle's room. When we both came down the stairs, the temperature had chilled slightly, so I brought us a blanket and warmed hot chocolate with marshmallows as we made ourselves comfortable on the couch.

"So, will you at least tell me now what was up with the Laundromat and the car washing?" she asked humorously, sipping on her mug.

"Bella," I started, "everyone does the movie and dinner thing, and other people do the fancy candlelit dinner crap. That's not me. I enjoy the simple things. Like, spending quality time with a girl I like doing things that normal people do. If we went to watch a movie, I'd spend all that time staring at the screen when I could have been talking to you."

A smile lit up her face as she spoke into her cup. "You like me?"

I rolled my eyes and pulled her mug away for just a second to kiss her. "That's hardly a secret."

"So, planning on another date, Cullen?"

"If your answer is yes."

"Yes," she answered almost immediately. "As long as if we wash cars again, we wash mine."

"Done," I agreed. A slight bit of foam on her mouth from the hot chocolate caught my eye; I leaned in and licked it off her upper lip before she had the chance to wipe it off. The signature Bella Swan blush was back as she peered into her cup and coughed to hide her embarrassment. I honestly thought it was adorable as hell.

"Let's play twenty-one questions," she suggested. "Since, we're still on our date and all."

I grinned. "Okay. Shoot."

"What's your secret for your omelets?"

I chuckled and settled into the couch because of all the questions she could possibly ask, she just had to ask that one. "I didn't make breakfast. I ordered in. Truthfully, I can't even cook. It's so damn sad."

She giggled, and I instantly didn't feel so stupid anymore. Her laugh was like the ultimate remedy for anything. I pinched her ankle jokingly and pulled her legs into my lap, playing with the hem of her socks. "Okay, Ms. I-make-Edward-feel-so-inadequate, here's a question for you, am I a good kisser?"

"You can't ask me something like that, you cheater!"

"We never established what could and couldn't be asked, so answer," I retaliated, pinching her ankle again and delighting in the damned cute squeak she made as I did so.

"Fine," she huffed, leaning her head back against the couch. "Yes. You kiss... well."

"Hmm, I see," I took her cup of hot chocolate and set it down on the coffee table in front of us. "Would you like me to change your opinion of 'well' into 'fuckawesome'?"

"Fuckawesome is not even a word, Edward, go get yourself a dictionary." She planted her palm over my mouth. "You're not my boyfriend, so you can't very well get all the benefits of one, now can you?"

I pulled her hand away. "You, Isabella Marie Swan, are a goddamned tease."

"And you, Edward Anthony Cullen, are addicted to making out. Maybe I should get you some professional help?"

"Or you could just kiss me and we'd both be happy?"

Just when I thought I had her, mere centimeters away from my lips, the door opened and an audible gasp sounded throughout the living room.

"No... way?!" Alice shrieked, jumping up and down from where she was, dropping her bags of what I assumed were souvenirs, to the ground. "Don't tell me. Don't freaking tell me you two are?!"

I laughed and shook my head from side to side. "Ali, it's not--"

"We are," Bella interrupted. "Edward and I, we're together. As of last night. He asked me to be his girlfriend after he took me home. Isn't that wonderful?!"

"Oh my god, Bells!" Alice screamed and leaped in her direction, hugging her like she believed it was true.

My jaw literally dropped. Not even thirty seconds ago, she was refusing to kiss me because she didn't think I should receive all the benefits of a boyfriend when I clearly wasn't one. I stared at her questioningly, following her line of sight and that's when it dawned on me.

She wasn't telling Alice. She wasn't telling me.

She was fucking telling Jasper.

And by the looks of it, Jasper wasn't happy at all, which must have been exactly what Bella had been going for.

The sparkle in her chocolate-kissed eyes was gone. Her hands pushed away from mine. The invisible wall around her heart was back up, and I damned myself for thinking I had made progress.

Just like that, the glorious weekend and the feelings I thought I evoked in her disappeared into nothingness, and her unrequited love for Jasper bubbled back to the surface.

And to be honest, I really didn't know how the hell to feel about it.

Fuck.

Author's Notes: Sigh. As much as we would all love for Jezebels to get off the Jasper bandwagon and hop on the Edward express, we all know it can't happen just like that, right? The ALLTB heartfail is making its way back into the story, so don't say I didn't warn you. If you still love me regardless of my horrid update fail, leave me your thoughts? The next chapter's already got a teaser prepared, so this time, the update will come sooner than you think! Kisses to you if you've read up to this point. Mwah!

Oh, and like the excited fangirl I am, who's excited for New Moon next week?! Eeeek!

Thank you for all the replies to the questions I ask! The number one response to the last question of what the best gift you ever received was? Your children. Awwww! Hugs to all you mommas out there for all that you do. I'm sure your kids love you more than you will ever know :)

Next question: Do you remember your first date with a current or past romantic interest?

See you lovelies again real soon!

Love,
BB