Here's the third Pain of Christmas courtesy of the Akatsuki. Enjoy!!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters (belong to Masashi Kishimoto) or the song "The 12 Pains of Christmas"
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Sasori:-writes-The third thing at JASHINmas that's such a pain to me: hangovers.
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Pein: The base seems to be strangely quiet tonight…-looks around- Hellooo??
Tobi: HELLOO PEIN! ^^
Pein: -.- Tobi? You're still here?
Tobi; Senpai said that Tobi couldn't go out with the rest of them. Tobi is a good boy!
Pein: So where exactly did they go?
Tobi; Sempai said a place where they give out drinks, I think.-goes to his room-
Pein: o.O Uh oh.
-door bangs open and shouting voices are heard-
All: -walk/roll/crawl/shuffle/flop into the living room and fall over-
Pein: O.O What happened to you guys??
Kisame: -hic- The bar was having samples of cocktails and beers and other alcoholic -hic- beverages to celebrate Christmas.
Pein: So you all got yourselves drunk?? I expected better-well, actually no, not anymore. -.- But honestly, I couldn't imagine half of you being stupid enough to get yourself drunk.
Kisame: -hic- Don't blame me, Itachi forced me to have 6 vodkas…he said it was Kool-Aid.
Itachi: -hic- You're so gullible.
Hidan: FUCK YOU -hic- ALL! JASHIN WILL FUCKING -hic- PUNISH MY FUCKING ASS BECAUSE YOU -hic-FUCKING HAD TO SHOVE -hic- THE FUCKING ALCOHOL DOWN MY FUCKING -hic-THROAT-
Deidara: -eye swirls-Stop swearing, un. I -hic-didn't take your hair gel this morning.
Pein: ?? Dare I ask why Hidan is so…
Konan: -hic- Kakuzu forced Hidan to drink 8 cocktails for a dare, though -hic- it is against his religion to consume alcohol.
Pein: -face palm- Kakuzu, you went there too? I thought you hated spending money on unnecessary things.
Kakuzu: It was all -hic- free, and you know how I can't resist freebies. ^^
Pein: Great…
Sasori: -hic- Oh, and Pein, for future reference, I don't think alcohol is good for plants. -points at Zetsu who is munching on the table with a manic look in his eyes- He tried to eat -hic- Kisame on the way back.
Pein: -eye roll- Good to know…You know, I had this dream, where Orochimaru was telling me that my organization sucked and he'd dominate over us, but I told him that there was no chance of that. But now, I've come to the conclusion that you're all just useless and pathetic. -.-
Itachi; -sniff- Don't say things like that Pein -hic- don't be so cruel…we have feelings too! -cries-
Pein: o.O Itachi…when did you become so emotional?
Deidara: -pointing to air- Pein, look! I've found your Kyuubi!!
Pein:…Deidara, are you ok?
Deidara: -sniff- Pein, the Kyuubi is mean…IT SAID I LOOK LIKE A GIRL!!!
Sasori: -mumbles- But you do, seriously…-hic-
Pein: Deidara-
Deidara: -to air- SHUT UP, IT'S NOT TRUE!!
Pein: -sigh- Why did you let him drink? He's underage!
Itachi: -gasp- Pein so you do care about our well-being! Aww. ^^
Pein; No, I just needed someone who was actually SANE to help me properly put up the tree, since you guys are worthless.
All; u.u''
Itachi: -sniffle-
Konan: I'll help -hic- you, I'm not that drunk…even though I had about 12 refills…-gets up shakily and trips over Zetsu who's now eating the carpet-
Pein: -.-'' -to sky- Why? Why have I been cursed like this?
Kisame; Uh oh. I feel sick…
Kakuzu: Go to the bathroom!!!! I'm not -hic- paying to replace anything you puke on.
Sasori: Well you're already gonna be -hic- paying a bundle since Zetsu already -hic- ate the teak wood table and expensive oriental carpet, and if I'm not mistaken -hic- he's about to eat the priceless hand-made curtains. -hic-
Kakuzu: -faints-
Hidan:-stabbing himself- Jashin forgive me, Jashin forgive me, Jashin curse Kakuzu, Jashin forgive me…
Kisame: Itachi, you're crying all over Samehada… -hic-
Itachi: -sniff- My father gave me my first sword…but now he's dead... -cries more-
Kisame: Aww Itachi. -hugs-
Itachi: -tear- My mother used to give me hugs like that when I was upset… -cries a rainstorm-
Kisame: o.o'' -moves away-
Konan: -hic- stop doing that Kisame, can't you see he's going through a rough time? -to Itachi- There there…
Pein: o.O What kind of evil organization is this? I'm so glad Tobi didn't go with you…
Sasori: -using puppet strings on fainted Kakuzu- Haha -hic- dance Kakuzu dance! ^^-makes him punch himself in the face-
Deidara: -arguing with his hallucination- OF COURSE MY HAIR IS NATURAL!! u.u
Hidan:-faints from alcohol and blood loss; the (expensive) armchair covered in his blood-
Sasori: -knocks over antique lamp with Kakuzu's arm- Oops…-hic- there goes another 1000 dollars -hic-
Kisame: Uh oh. -runs to bathroom-
Itachi: -sniffling and hugging a pillow-
Pein: -eye twitch- I GIVE UP ON ALL OF YOU. -walks away- You'll be punished enough tomorrow morning…heheheh…
-Next Morning-
All: OM(F)G MY (FUCKING) HEAD!!!!
Kakuzu: MY EXPENSIVE FURNITURE!!!! -faints-
Zetsu: -GROAN- I have the biggest stomach ache ever…WHAT THE HELL DID I EAT?
Pein: -eye roll- Serves them right. Muahaha. ^^
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LOL well there was another chapter of Akatsuki/Christmas goodness : ) If you've ever wondered what would happen if the Akatsuki got drunk…well there you go. Next chapter: The fourth pain of Christmas!
-MoonlitLotus