Disclaimer: Don't own the song, nor Naruto.
Enjoy~
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Sasori: -writes- The seventh thing at JASHINmas that's such a pain to me: The Salvation Army.
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Pein: Well, its that time of year again.
Tobi: Christmas? But Tobi already knows that! Pein is a silly boy!
Sasori: No Tobi…I think he means Charity Day.
Deidara: -groan- The day when all the charitable ninjas go door-to-door asking for donations…
Pein: Yup, sadly.
Itachi: Well, I've always wondered how they've managed to find this place. I mean isn't the point of being a secret and mysterious organization to have our location…a secret?
Hidan: That's a good point. I wonder why Pein, who thinks he's fucking God, hasn't been able to do that? -gasp- Maybe because he's not a fucking God at all!
Pein: -.- …
Kakuzu: Are you still sore about the whole JASHINmas card thing? Just give it up! Why can't there be two Gods?
Pein and Hidan: BECAUSE, then that means that they are equals, when clearly I/Jashin is better. -glare at each other-
Kakuzu: You're such children. Believe what you want. I give up on you guys.
Pein: Stop stealing my lines, geez people.
-knock knock-
Konan: looks like they've come. Who's gonna get the door?
All: Not me!
Konan:…you're all a bunch of pansies. And not the flower kind, either. -walks to door-
Random Charity Guy: Hi Miss! Would you like to donate to our 'Save the ADHD Ninja's fund?' -points to box with a picture of Naruto-
Konan: Nope, I have no-
Random Charity Guy: Well about the "Forgotten or Dead Characters of the Naruto Series" fund? -holds out box with a picture of Haku and Zabuza.
Konan: No, I have-
Random Charity Guy: Or maybe the "Lonely Bijuu" fund appeals to you? -shows her box with a picture of a little kid Gaara.
Konan: -getting angry- NO, because I have no-
Random Charity Guy: Well, there is this fairly recent new charity, for-
Konan: NO MONEY!! -slams door-
All: o.o''
Konan: …What?
-knock knock-
Konan: The door's all yours. -walks away-
Pein: As your leader, I command someone else other than me to get the door…Deidara, thanks for volunteering!
Deidara: What, un?? -grumbles- Not fair un…-walks to door and opens it-
Another Random Charity Guy: Hello Miss, would you like to-
Deidara: -eye twitch- I'M A GUY, UN!!! -blows up Another Random Charity Guy and slams door shut-
All: -muffled laughter-
Deidara: -glare-
Kakuzu: Stop slamming the door! If it breaks I'm not buying another one.
Hidan: Why don't we just buy you a fucking voice recorder for JASHINmas huh? I'm so fucking tired of hearing you say that. You're such a cheap, penny pinching Scrooge.
Kakuzu: Well excuse me, don't I pay for the cleaning materials when you mess up our floor with your stupid ritual? And didn't I pay for all the furniture Zetsu ate or you bled on? And I make sure we have a suitable living habitat, and-
Hidan: Yeah, only after you fucking whine about it, or we force you to pay the bills, or you steal from the rest of us or force us to sneak your money so we can fucking SURVIVE. -.-
Kakuzu: YOU DO WHAT??? You steal my money?? -turns on Pein- Do you authorize this?
Pein: uh…-shifty eyes-
-knock knock-
Pein: -inner sigh of relief- One of you, go get the door.
Hidan and Kakuzu: He will. -points to each other-
Hidan: I'll pay you 20 bucks if you answer the door.
Kakuzu: -eyes light up- Really? -runs to door-
Hidan: Ha. No fucking way.-runs away before Kakuzu comes back-
Sasori: Those two…they're worse than a married couple.
Kisame: Haha, that's the zombie twins for you. Fight until they kill each other, and even then, they never die.
Kakuzu; -opens door-
Yet Another Charity Guy: Hello sir-
Kakuzu: NO.
Yet Another Charity Guy: But you don't even know what-
Kakuzu: You want money. I don't want to give you money. -slams door and walks away-
Sasori: o.O That was cold…
Kisame: I'm hungry. -leaves-
-half an hour later-
Pein: It's quiet. Too quiet…nobody's knocked on the door for half an hour.
Sasori: Maybe its over? -hopes-
Itachi: I sense someone coming.
-knock knock-
Pein Itachi and Sasori: -look at each other-
Pein: …I nominate Itachi!
Sasori: Seconded!
Itachi: -scowls- Thanks a lot guys…-opens door-
Iruka: -mumbling- Put me on the stupid Konoha charity committee… -looks up when door opens- Hello Sir would you like to- ITACHI??!?!?
Itachi: ????
Iruka: O.O So this-this must be the…Akatsuki base?? -gasp- This is huge! Now I'll finally get a vacation from those whining children! The Hokage will reward me generously for finding the Akatsuki hideout! -starry eyes-
Itachi: -crap, what to do, what to do…- Tsukiyomi!
Iruka: -eye swirls-
Pein: …That was totally unexpected. o.O
Sasori: What are the chances that a chuunin from an enemy village would find us HERE? Geez Pein, you suck at making hidden bases.
Pein: …
Sasori: Better wipe his memory when Itachi's done with him…72 hours later.
Pein: -sigh- Nothing is ever normal around here, is it? -.-
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No Iruka's were harmed in the making of this chapter. For those of you who are concerned, his Tsukiyomi was merely being tied to a chair, while his Academy students used him for target practice. (They aren't that good, so he didn't get hurt too much XD) He then lost memory of the location of the Akatsuki base and meeting the Akatsuki, and was sent back to Konoha unharmed. :P (It's Christmas, so the Akatsuki were uncharacteristically nice towards him)
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MoonlitLotus