Hello again~~~~! I don't own Ouran, or any of the characters. All i own is my love of the story and my imagination. Thank you to Lovers Revenge for her review :D Enjoy and review please!
Tamaki
Haruhi can be so cold. All I had asked was that she bake me some ginger bread men with gum drop buttons, so that we could eat them together as a family. Her reply was that she "is not some sort of house wife that I can boss about". I had said please!
"Mommyyyyyy! Haruhi is being mean again!", running toward the Music Room's corner. Wrapped in doom, I feel Kyoya's hand rest on my shoulder and squeeze lightly, "Tamaki, don't be childish. I can order my staff to bake us whatever you want".
He doesn't understand at all, but it's still so sweet of him, I can't say no. "Promise, Kyoya? Really… with the gum drop buttons?". He looks at me, eye brow slightly raised as though I'm completely ridiculous. I want to be hurt by it, but I'm mystified by the fact that for just a moment, I'm all that he's thinking about.
I want it to be like that all of the time. I want Kyoya to always think of me.
Coming back down to earth, I realise rather quickly that Kyoya's perfectly rounded lips are moving, and that I've been staring at him the whole time, "… buttons will be fine, I suppose. Although, I'm not sure that they will be to our tastes at all. It's time to start wrapping up the club activities."
Oh. Oh my god, where did the time go? I'm fully unprepared and now we're going to be alone… together.
!CRASH!
I spin around (still aware enough of the customers who are dotted around the room to flick my hair and flutter my eye lashes) to see Kaoru and Hikaru grasping the top of Haruhi's head in an odd hugging style, as she holds onto the now empty tray in one hand, dripping with green tea. Her eyes meet mine and she pleads with me. I understand instantly.
"It's okay Haru-" I begin, but am abruptly interrupted.
"Another 7000 yen added to your debt, Haruhi." comes from behind the black notebook. I hate it when that notebook obscures my view. But 7000 is so harsh, I can't let him do that!
"Awwww, Kyoya! I'll pay back the money for the tea set, it's no problem." I whimper, anxious to keep our family happily together. 7000 yen means very little to me, Haruhi on the other hand, is standing with her mouth open, looking positively stunned at Kyoya's harsh notion. In typical fashion, I rush to my darling daughter and hold onto her tight "Oh, my darling Haruhi. Daddy will make it better!" I spin around and bow, to emphasise my royal persona within the group. Kaoru and Hikaru burst into laughter, singing "Mom and Dad are fighting again" while Mori looks on stoically, with Honey on his shoulders. He's busy chomping on sweets, surrounded by flowers.
"Kao-chan, Hika-chan, don't be mean! King is only trying to help Haru-chan", says Honey, in his childish voice. This, coupled with a grunt of approval from Mori-senpai makes me feel much better. "Thank you Honey and Mori, for understanding. Hikaru, Kaoru, worship your master!" I feel very proud with myself, in knowing that I told them off adequately.
"10,000 yen, Haruhi." Kyoya, cold and inhumane. That is how he sounds right now. "WHAT? But I didn't even do anything! Thanks a lot, 'Master'". Haruhi rolls her eyes, and waltzes off with the twins on either side of her, exchanging high fives behind her back and looking at me over their shoulders with evil grins on their faces. Those fiends!
As Mori and Honey wave goodbye and leave, I sit in the corner, mourning for the temporary loss of my family.
It hits me.
Kyoya, and me. Me and Kyoya. Together. Alone.
He is sitting at a small wooden table, tapping quickly at the keys of his laptop. His posture is perfect, his legs set straight and together in front of him. His back straight, the defined muscles masked by the light blue blazer. His black hair a stark contrast to the pale skin of his neck, as he faces away from me. Nothing can be heard, but the sound of his fingers against the keys.
Tap, tap, tap. Ba-thump, ba-thump, ba-thump.
My heard is thrumming in my chest, standing in the centre of the Music Room. His smooth hand reaches up to the laptop, as he turns his head a fraction toward me. Pulling the laptop closed, he speaks softly, for the first time since the others left.
"So, are you going to stand there like the idiot king all evening?". How can such harsh words melt my heart in this way? Kyoya has no idea of how he makes me feel. "Oh, sorry, I didn't realise. I - uhm - yes, okay". Idiot! Idiot! Way to sound suspicious. I throw my hands over my eyes, to shield myself from my own idiocy. Breathing deeply, I take them away. Standing inches away from me is Kyoya, staring deep into my eyes, seemingly unravelling my soul with his stare. I feel naked. I feel like I'm on fire in places that I really shouldn't.
"What's the matter, Tamaki? Do I make you nervous?" He looks up at me slightly, my extra two inches making me feel no more comfortable. His power is leaps and bounds ahead of mine. I know that he is the true king of our club, but I would never admit this to anyone else. Especially not to Kyoya. I can feel his breath on my face as he stares at me more. He lifts his hand toward my chest, and draws a line down the center with his index finger. Instinctively, I shudder at his touch. More fire, more burning. I can feel the flames rising and licking at my cheeks, making me blush.
"Do you like this, Tamaki?" His words are clear, calculated and confident. My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. Kyoya continues to smile sweetly, and raises his hand to my jaw. He strokes a single finger from my ear to my chin, slowly, and I feel every inch of his touch. His finger pushes my chin up, to close my stunned mouth. His face starts to move closer, and I know that he can see straight through me. See how much I need him. Less than an inch from my face, and his eyes are still staring straight at me. This is it, the moment I've dreamt of. His lips on mine. I close my eyes slowly, reluctant to shut out his face. I tilt my head slightly, and wait. But his lips never arrive. I hear him before I see him. I don't want to open my eyes, to see his mocking look. I don't want to see that side of Kyoya, but I have to.
"Oh, Tamaki. I knew it. You're so easy to read". He's smirking at me, mocking me.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Kyoya," I try to hold his gaze and sound as though I actually believe myself, but it wont work. My voice hitched and broke, and it's too late to deny it; he's found out and now he will taunt me forever. Possibly hate me. What am I going to do?
"Don't pretend, King. I know how you feel. I see how you feel." His gaze wonders away from my face, down and past my chest. I can't believe this!
"You told me that you had business that you wanted to discuss?" I enquire, anything to stop this. Kyoya moved away from me and picks up his notebook. He begins to take notes, and after seconds which seem like hours, he speaks to me whilst writing, "I needed some information. I think that I got more than I really bargained for". That last blow hit low. This whole meeting was an excuse to find out my feelings and mock me?
"Excuse me, it's rather late. I have some family business to attend to." I say, trying to sound confident. But the words come out in hushed tones, and I can feel tears stinging my eyes, threatening to spill. Cruel. This is too cruel. I turn on my heel, and rush toward the exit. I can't turn back. I can't show him how hurt I am. How he's hurt me. Rejected and deflated, I open the door and flee.
Kyoya
I had been so close. If I'd just taken the extra space, then I could have finally kissed his beautiful lips.
But being the third son, I cannot afford to be distracted. To make mistakes and be found out would be suicide for both Tamaki and I. His whimsical attitude toward everything is refreshing, and one of the many reasons that I love him, but I can't do it.
Yet I'd been close enough to feel his breath on my face.
I know my father, my brothers. I know what they would do to me. To Tamaki's chances of ever being accepted by his grandmother. Of ever seeing his mother. I couldn't be the reason for all of his dreams being crumpled.
I'd aroused him. I know that, it had shown. He doesn't realise that I was aroused too. That I feel just the same as he does, but I have to make him stop trying to pursue me. This cannot continue.
That is why I constructed our meeting, the taunting and harshness. Every part of me comes alive when Tamaki touches me, but I have to let any fantasies of being with him go.
I hear a dull thud, and look down and the notebook which I'm still clutching. A single teardrop landed on the page, turning the paper a dull grey where it had fallen. I reach up to my face and feel the wetness there, and realise that a steady stream of tears had progressed without my realising.
Collapsing to the floor, I let my tears flow freely, whilst re-reading today's entry to my notebook.
Friday 13th
Tamaki is overly excitable today, and keeps rambling (very cutely) about ginger bread men. I can't help but smile, he's so funny. I never thought that I would regard any person as cute. But he has that affect on me. Sat in his small corner of melodrama, his pout in full display. I can't bear it, he knows that I'm a sucker when he pouts. If he wants them, I'll get them for him. Just because I can't be with him doesn't mean that I cannot pander to his needs every now and again.
Last night I had dreamt that we were both on a very sunny island together, alone, and that we were holding hands. The breeze rolled off of the ocean, and we cuddled together for a while as the sun set over the horizon. We'd lay there in each other's arms for hours. Kissing, being free. Free to love as we wanted to love.
I woke up at around 5:40am and cried. Cried for him, and for me, and for the kisses that we could never share because we were both men. Men of wealth and high regard. If my father ever found out - I dread to think. I know that Tamaki likes me too, and I have to do something about it, to protect him.
Even if that means hurting him to do so.
I take out the pen from my book, and begin to continue my entry, hands shaking and bleary eyed.
Friday 13th continued.
The plan is complete. Tamaki will hate me forever. I almost backed out, I could have kissed him. Lied to myself that it's okay. Told him that we could be together; live a lie when we were with others.
I was so close, but I knew that I needed to protect him. I've heard the way that my father speaks about Gay relationships. He makes me feel ill, the way that he regards them. Scum, he says. He told me that if he found out that any of his sons were gay, then he would make sure that they never saw the light of day again. And I believe him. He isn't afraid to raise his hand in the name of teaching a lesson. I couldn't put Tamaki through it. I don't know how I'm going to keep up this façade, but I'll come up with something.
Putting down my pen, I close the book. I need to go home, and have a boiling hot bath. I need to hurt like I've hurt Tamaki.
Lifting myself up from the floor and brushing off any dust from my clothing, I walk toward the door. Turning back once more to face the scene of my crime, I turn off the lights. Closing the door felt so finite.
Like closing the door closed my chances of love.
I promise the next chapter will have some Kaoru and Hikaru, i just needed to set the story with Tamaki and Kyoya first. Like? Hate? Please review!
