Author's note: Again, I need to apologize for the distance between chapters. My lack of inspiration has been pathetic…almost as pathetic as the fact I wrote this out of boredom. I hope you can all forgive me because I actually like this drabble.
Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.
Regular
Lavi has always been comfortable with being in the dark. He almost prefers it, as a matter of fact: the inability to see the exact expression on a person's face is a freedom he never wants to lose. In the dark, he can't tell if he has been insensitive, or maybe a little too lustful, and best of all, he doesn't have to show exactly what he is or isn't feeling to the person he is talking to. In a cliché way, the darkness is a cover.
"What do you want this time?" Kanda asks, stretching his long limbs against the stone wall. "The one time I'm actually tired, you decide to do some soul-searching. What the hell's that about?"
"Aww come on, Yuu, I don't have a soul." Lavi's voice smiles playfully—not that Kanda can see—while his face remains almost as cold as the wall he himself is propped up against.
Kanda sighs in slight annoyance, slight fondness. "You don't get to be depressed. Not in the dark like this where everyone is expecting it."
Lavi imagines Kanda raising one of his perfect eyebrows. He hopes he is. Because Gods Kanda is sexy when he uses his eyebrows. "But you know I'm just a regular suicide." He smiles. All of him.
Again, Lavi pictures Kanda consciously—or unconsciously—doing something sexy. He pictures the lust in the younger's eyes, maybe twisted lip, fingernails against his eyes, hair that makes its way underneath the collar of Kanda's robe.
"Please, don't give me that bullshit. You've said this all before."
Lavi doesn't listen to the worry delicately laced over those words like a doily on a pink tablecloth. He just pictures Kanda biting him with those sharp, sharp teeth in places a person should never be bitten.
"No, no, it's all good this time." Lavi says, face cold, lips on fire. "You see, Gramps and I had a fight. A big one. It was sexy, Yuu, you should have been there."
He pictures the tilt of Kanda's head as a cocky grin, a challenge. Not a sad parting of lips in worry or fear or even regret. "Lavi…" Kanda says in a bedroom voice that isn't the malice Lavi wants. "What did he say?"
Lavi shrugs, wishing Kanda were naked; that would solve all their problems. "He called me names."
The pounding in Kanda's voice isn't fear, Lavi decides, he thinks of it as just excitement. He thinks the rustle of Kanda's clothes is just excitement. He thinks the sweat in his ears is just excitement.
"What's wrong?"
Gods—nothing is wrong. Only that he isn't bleeding like he wants to be.
Lavi hopes that finally, finally Kanda will take a step towards him—preferably several. He wants to be warm against the wall. He wants to be alone with the younger. He wants to be away from the old man.
"What did he say?" Kanda asks again. Harsher, and it's almost more sexy.
"We pulled it off, Yuu." Lavi smiles. "He hates me now. He really hates me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that book came this close to my eye."
"Lavi—"
"Me good eye."
"Lavi shut up! Just shut up. Please…" Those long strides are graceful and sexy, Lavi thinks. He wonders more about Kanda's legs. But he is caught off guard by Kanda's arms. Lavi almost thinks he likes them better.
The fingers in hair are more delicate than he would like. The chin in his neck isn't biting him like he wishes it were. And his belt isn't gone like he is used to. "Aww Yuu, isnt this cute, you're hugging me—"
There's warmth in those fingers. There's moisture on that chin. And he's sorta forgotten about the belt. Sorta.
He feels Kanda's breath. He begins to think that this is nice. Too nice. Too nice to want his own legs to go limp, too nice to be glad Kanda's hand isn't down his pants, too nice to not be able to see Kanda's expression and still be able to tell what it is. "I don't think he wants me anymore."
"It's ok, its ok." Kanda says, quietly. His long arms are draped around Lavi's shoulders loosely, and Lavi's hands are carefully resting against the younger's shoulder blades. He doesn't have time to think about how sexy Kanda's muscles are.
"They're not gonna let me stay here." Lavi says as Kanda pulls away, the words coming out too quickly. Kanda's face is finally visible in the dark as a result of the pale light breaking through the window at the end of the hall. "I don't think the Order wants me either."
"They will." Kanda says, like water gliding over a stone and down a waterfall. Then, almost a smile, "All that useless shit you know."
"I think it depends on whether or not you want me to stick around." Lavi says, an actual smile. He feels the color coming back into his own face, and the heat on Kanda's lips is relaxing and exciting at the same time. "I think…something might be a little wrong with me."
Kanda takes a deep breath. "Shock makes people scared…it's nothing to—"
"No, Yuu I feel sick." Lavi shrugs in the darkness that isn't really darkness anymore. "There's something inside me and it feels like poison it sorta bubbles and aches and I don't know why…Yuu, can I…"
Kanda shakes his head, an actual smile. "Is it right here?" I gently prods Lavi's chest. He leans in again, brushing his lips against the corner of Lavi's—dragging his lip across the bottom. "Does it pulse?"
Lavi feels himself shudder against Kanda's mouth. "It feels weird."
Lowering himself to Lavi's neck, Kanda begins to plant small, delicate kisses in no particular order—not like the ones Lavi's used to.
"Yuu…" Lavi says slowly. "Do you still…want me?"
"You're an idiot." Kanda says between mouthfuls of Lavi's hair. "It's not really about me anymore." He pulls back a bit, enough to see the shine of Lavi's good eye. "You should…know that, well, you're sorta free now. You can do whatever you want, right? Staying here, with me—or not—is basically your call."
Lavi leans in and kisses Kanda.