Chapter Three
A group of Peacekeepers leads Katniss and Peeta into the Justice Building where they can visit with family and friends. Once they've disappeared inside the huge building, more Peacekeepers call out to the crowd.
"Family and friends that want to visit Katniss Everdeen, this way, please!" A Peacekeeper instructs.
Prim and Mrs. Everdeen move towards the Peacekeeper as he continues to call out. I search the vast crowd for my family. They remain inconspicuous in the flood of people, so I head after Prim and Mrs. Everdeen, assuming that my family will know where I am.
We walk up the long staircase to enter the Justice Building. This descent feels familiar because I climbed these stairs once before to be presented with an award after my father died in the mine accident. So, unfortunately, my experiences with the Justice Building haven't been pleasant.
We are lead into a large hallway with one door at the end before being given instructions.
"You are to wait out here until it is your turn to visit." One of the Peacekeepers says. "We will send you in alone, or in groups if you like."
I wait as Katniss's mother and sister are let into the room at the front of the line. Also in my line is Madge, whom I look away from awkwardly.
"Hello, Gale." She says quietly.
"Madge." I say with a nod of my head.
I look over and her eyes are huge, desperate looking.
"You can go in before me." I offer, motioning to the door.
"Thank you." Madge says, stepping in front of me.
I wasn't just trying to be nice to Madge, I want to visit Katniss last for reasons inexplicable to me. I know that I need as much time to think of the right words to say as I can, this may very well be the last time I see Katniss.
An unfamiliar pain tightens my chest, unlike any other pain I've felt before. The pain of losing my father was unbearable, but this pain is different. I close my eyes and replay in my head all the wonderful moments with Katniss. Only now do I realize how much I will miss Katniss, with her gone, I won't be able to talk to anybody else the way I do with her. Nobody understands me like she does, and nobody ever will. I feel a longing, pulling at my heart. I wish I were the tribute, not Katniss. I was just beginning to discover what I really felt for her, but now the Capitol has to take her away.
I slam my fist against the wall and one small tear slides across my cheek. No more come, but it's strange to me because I can't remember the last time I cried. Straining to look back, I realize that it was years ago after my father died that I had last shed tears.
Someone walks up behind me and I wheel around. Surprised and embarrassed, I discover that it's Peeta's father, the baker.
"Oh, um… I'm sorry." He mutters awkwardly.
"Oh, no, what?" I ask, not even sure of what I'm saying. I hope he can't tell that I've been crying. I don't know why I'm ashamed, I have every reason to cry, but I don't want to reveal my tears to the world.
We stand there for a few moments and I rub the back of my neck nervously.
"You here to see Katniss?" I ask.
"Yes." The baker replies.
I wonder vaguely why the baker wants to see Katniss, but I give him the same offer as Madge.
"You can go ahead of me." I say.
"And me as well." Madge chimes in.
The baker moves ahead of the two of us, not saying a word. The doors burst open from the visiting room and Prim and her mother come out. Both of the Everdeens' mortified faces are moistened with tears, I can't blame them.
The baker shuffles into the room, somewhat reluctantly, and the door closes.
I stare off into space, knowing my life will drastically change within these next few months. The only other time I really felt like this was when my father died. I don't want to loose another loved one. I don't know how much more I can take of this.
"I'm sorry about today." I blurt. I have no idea where my apology came from, but I suppose it wasn't overly passionate. I remain turned away from Madge.
Madge says nothing.
Madge is the very least of my worries right now, so to be candid, I don't care if she accepts my apology or not. You don't deserve an apology if you can't accept it.
Finally, the baker exits the room and Madge goes in. It looks like I'm the last visitor.
I wonder what I should say to Katniss. The miniscule amount of time given for goodbyes won't be enough for me to tell her what I want and reveal my true feelings. The only problem is, I don't know my true feelings. I wonder if I tell Katniss how I feel, if it will give her courage or if it will make her horrified and perform worse in the arena. The thought that I could contribute to Katniss's death makes me shudder.
Madge walks out of the room long before I expected her to, looking confident. I wonder what might've occurred between the two girls. I take a deep breath and walk into the visiting room. The door closes behind me. Finally I'm alone with Katniss.
I open my arms and Katniss flies at me, pressing her body into mine for a long embrace. I rest my head on Katniss's and I don't ever want to let go. I want to stay in this moment forever, the world consisting of only me and my best friend. This would be better without words, but I need to talk to Katniss.
"Listen," I say. "Getting a knife should be pretty easy, but you've got to get your hands on a bow. That's your best chance."
"They don't always have bows." Katniss says.
She's right, the games don't always supply the weapons needed, but there has to be a way Katniss can get a bow, she can eliminate a lot of threats with a bow.
"Then make one." I say. "Even a weak bow is better than no bow at all."
Making a bow will be extremely difficult, but the Hunger Games aren't meant to be easy.
"I don't even know if there'll be wood." Katniss says.
One year in the Hunger Games, the contestants were thrown in a barren land with only rocks, sand, and scruffy bushes. I pray that this year there will be some valuable resources.
"There's almost always some wood since that year half of them died of cold. Not much entertainment in that." I say. Of course I never find death entertaining, but the people from the Capitol do.
Another year, the tributes were in an arena with no wood for fires and the contestants slowly froze to death. The non-violent, bloodless deaths displeased the people in the Capitol, so they almost always provide wood of some sort.
"Yes, there's usually some." Katniss says.
"Katniss, it's just hunting. You're the best hunter I know." I say honestly.
"It's not just hunting. They're armed. They think." Katniss protests.
"So do you. And you've had more practice. Real practice." I insist. "You know how to kill."
"Not people." Katniss says.
"How different can it be, really?" I say grimly.
I know that it can be a lot different, but if you just get past it enough to kill the person, you have time for grievance and remorse later.
The Peacekeepers walk back into the room. It's way too soon.
"Please, can we have more time?" I beg, desperately.
The Peacekeepers grab onto my sleeve and I step away.
"Don't let them starve!" Katniss cries, clinging to my hand.
I don't want her to let go of my hand, I want to stay in this room. I know it's time to tell her.
"I won't! You know I won't!" I say, struggling to remain in the room. "Katniss, remember I-
The door closes before I can finish the two words I want to say.
"No!" I cry, breaking free of the Peacekeepers. Damn, it!
I bang on the door of the visiting room, but it does no good, it's locked. I sink to the floor, helpless and ashamed. Why couldn't I tell her earlier?
"Catnip!" I call weakly.
"Sir, you must exit the building." One of the Peacekeepers says harshly.
I glare at the man with conviction. Why didn't he let me stay just a moment longer? I don't want to appear weak, but I need one more chance.
"Please." I say imploringly. "Let me just tell her one sentence, three words, that's all I need."
The Peacekeeper shakes his head.
"Nobody goes in there and I'm not going to cut you any deals." He says shortly.
I can only shoot him a painful look, how could he not have the heart to just let me say three, quick, simple but meaningful words?
I walk out of the Justice Building, headed for home. That might be the last time I'll ever actually speak to Katniss. I force myself not to think like that the rest of the way home.
When I stumble into my house, I find my family sitting at the kitchen table. I take a seat beside Rory.
"You went to visit Katniss?" My mother asks gently.
I nod, staring at the kitchen table. A few gloomy minutes pass by until my mother breaks the silence.
"We're going to the Everdeens' place for dinner tonight." My mother says.
I nod again.
"Dinner is ready, so if we all could pitch in and bring some food over…" my mother trails off.
There's a squeak of chairs against the floor as we all get out of our seats. Each of us carries part of the meal on a covered plate. We make our way to Katniss's house without a word. Once we reach the small, familiar household, my mother knocks on the door.
"Hazelle!" Katniss's mother cries, locking mine in an embrace.
My mother pats Mrs. Everdeen's shoulder as she lets out a few sobs.
I glance inside the house and spot a tear stained Prim sitting at the table.
"Come in." Katniss's mom says in a brittle voice.
My whole family walks into the house, placing the food on the kitchen counter. My eyes wander around the house. It's so familiar, but now the air is strangely grim and heavy.
"Sit down." Mrs. Everdeen offers.
Both mothers prepare the meal, though nobody's hungry. How can I eat when I know I probably won't ever see my best friend again? The supper is set on the table and I reluctantly pick my way through it. I've gone to bed still hungry many times and have seen many people starve to death, I can't let food go to waste.
It's strange to me how just this morning I was with Katniss, hunting in the woods like any other day. We talked and laughed, not knowing what fate had set for the rest of the day. I wonder if I'll ever even laugh again.
Worried chatter erupts from the table, but I tune it all out. I can only see Katniss, right before we were yanked apart and I was dragged into the hallway. Why couldn't I tell her earlier?
The family continues talking until I can't take it anymore.
"She's going to win." I say firmly.
Everybody who was talking is now silent. All eyes are on me.
"She has to." I say.
It seems like no matter what happens, Katniss can't die. I won't let it happen. I know I have no control over anything that happens in the arena, but I still let myself drown in childish thoughts.
"I mean, sure, some other people in there have waited, trained for this day to come, but they don't know what it's really like to have your life on the line, Katniss does." I say.
It's true, some people, especially in the Career districts, 1, 2 and 4, have been looking forward to being a tribute. Some of those kids have even trained for the Hunger Games.
"Katniss can find food." I say. "She can hunt, and if she gets a bow, there's no way she can loose."
I know I'm exaggerating a bit, but I need to keep away from negativity.
"She's a fighter." I finish, with a lot more bravery in my voice than I feel.
I look at the rest of the family, their faces are stony, but they nod.
"You're right." Prim says weakly. "She is a fighter."
I'm glad for the supporting comment, for a moment, I thought nobody agreed with me. We finish the rest of dinner, mostly in silence. We help clean up before turning on the small old television in the Everdeens' living room to watch the recap of the day.
The reapings are played in order from District 1 to 12. Some tributes look like major threats, like a huge boy from District 2, who was eager to volunteer. Other tributes look like they don't belong, like a boy with a crippled foot from District 10 and a small twelve year old from District 11 that reminds me of Prim. The look on her face when she was chosen is hard to watch. It's hard for me to look at all of these kids because all of them will have to die in order for Katniss to live.
The program is over, and just as we're ready to leave, I remember something.
"Mrs. Everdeen!" I cry as she almost shuts the door.
"Yes?" Katniss mother asks.
"Katniss and I made a deal, if one of us were ever going into the Hunger Games, the other would hunt for both families and make sure that they're safe." I say.
Mrs. Everdeen just stands for a moment before leaping into my arms. Taken aback, I pat her back, unsure of what to do. I've been getting a lot of hugs lately.
"Gale, you're the best friend Katniss could've picked." Mrs. Everdeen says.
"Thanks, Katniss is the best possible daughter you could've raised." I say.
Mrs. Everdeen breaks away from me, mouthing what I think is a 'thank you' and we walk away, with nothing more to say.
The hours fly by until I find myself lying in bed, unable to fall asleep. I stare at my ceiling with discontent. I wonder if Katniss is asleep right now, or if she is kept awake with the same thoughts that gnaw at my mind. Is Katniss thinking about me? Does she wish she could've said something more than she did? I doubt that she feels the way I do, I'll probably always just be her best friend. The thought of that pains me greatly. Why am I so stupid? Why can't I realize what I love before it's gone?