Chapter Eight
I find a spot on the couch between my mother and Posy. They left a space for me, knowing I would come in time.
The television switches from commercial to a snap shot of the Capitol. From now until the program is over, I won't be able to breathe.
I watch the introduction, and it goes by agonizingly slowly. I just want to watch Katniss, but being from District 12, and being a girl, she will go dead last. I'm just that lucky. Not.
Most of the Career pack does well, scoring at around eight through ten. The small girl from District 11 gets a seven. As I look at the petite child, I wonder what she does that's so impressive. Small people can shock you in the Hunger Games, though twelve year olds rarely ever win. It's happened, but it's not likely. Finally, it's District 12's turn. Peeta Mellark scores and eight, which makes me uncomfortable for some reason. I don't want Katniss to have any competition. I wonder if Katniss will try to become allies with Peeta, or if they will just be enemies. People make alliances a lot in the Hunger Games, but often times, people go back on their words and kill their 'ally'. It must really be tough knowing that one of you is going to die, but I can't imagine killing somebody who put so much trust in you. Of course, the Hunger Games changes a person. My stomach does a series of nauseating twists. If she survives, will the Hunger Games change my best friend? I know the answer, but I wish I don't.
"There she goes!" Vick yells.
I almost jump out of my seat when Katniss's name flashes on the screen. Katniss Everdeen. It's so surreal to see my best friend's name on television. But what's even more shocking than seeing Katniss's name, is looking at the number underneath it. Eleven.
My heart sinks and I don't know why. Eleven? I can't have seen the screen right.
"Eleven!" Rory exclaims before I have the chance to process the number.
Eleven. My mind is blank. I must've seen the television right, unless I heard Rory wrong also, which would be highly unlikely. I thought Katniss would do well, but not that well.
"I can't believe it!" my mother says. "Eleven!"
I just sit there, gaping. What did Katniss do in that training session? She is an excellent archer, so I guess I can't be that surprised.
"Way to go, Catnip." I say inaudibly. "Eleven. It's not a twelve, but that's still good."
Then, I know why I'm worried. All of the tributes are going to be out to get Katniss. First, with her stealing all of the glory when she was on fire, and now, scoring higher than anybody else on the training scores. A smile comes to my face despite how I feel. You just can't not notice Katniss.
As the program concludes, my mother hurries to the kitchen to fix our extremely late dinner. We eat dinner in silence until Posy speaks up.
"Katniss got higher than everyone!" she announces. "Does that mean she's gonna win?"
I say "Yes" at the same time my mother says. "Not necessarily." Posy gives us a confused look as we exchange awkward glances.
"Maybe." Rory says, clearing things up for Posy.
I really wish it were true, that the person with the highest score is guaranteed to win. That's not the way it works, though.
When I'm done with supper, I head to my room to do schoolwork. Sunday is tomorrow, and that is usually my big hunting day. Sunday is also the day of the tribute interview, and the day before the Hunger Games, truly begin.
Finally, it's late and I want to get some sleep, knowing that I will have to get up really early tomorrow. I climb in bed, knowing that falling asleep isn't something that will come quickly.
I shudder as I think that Katniss could be dead the day after tomorrow. And I never got the chance to tell her everything, but it's not entirely my fault. It's not my fault that Prim's name was chosen out of the reaping ball, it's not my fault that Katniss volunteered, but it is my fault for never telling Katniss how I feel. The problem is, I never knew for sure how I felt until it was too late.
I think of the first time I ever met Katniss, and then of what could be the last time I'll ever see her.
The first time I met Katniss, I was fourteen. I had been feeding my family by myself for a year, and we were struggling. Every day, I went out to hunt alone. That day was a particularly good hunting day. I was checking my twitch-up snares when I heard somebody coming. Scared, I hid behind a tree. I really had no weapons to take out a person with, so I just sat and waited.
That's when Katniss came into view. I watched as the skinny twelve year old stumbled up to my snares. She had a squirrel with her, and I wondered how she had killed it, considering I only saw my snares in the woods. At first I didn't recognize Katniss, then I realized that she lost her father in the same mine explosion that had killed my dad.
Katniss touched the rabbit that dangled at the end of one of my snares, studying the trap. I had three rabbits already, and more to come, but I wasn't going to let Katniss take any of my food.
"That's dangerous." I said, coming out from behind my tree.
Katniss jumped backwards and her grey eyes widened, just like a scared animal. I was really tall and I probably looked a bit older than fourteen, so Katniss had every right to be afraid. I looked older than fourteen, and in my mind, I was older than fourteen. Katniss was older than twelve, also. Most twelve and fourteen year olds don't break laws to go out and try to feed their starving family. Most twelve and fourteen year olds aren't the leader of their house.
"What's your name?" I asked, demonstrating my unconcern by walking over to my snare and taking off the rabbit.
"Catnip." I heard Katniss say in a voice so quiet that I could barely hear her.
Catnip, I remember thinking, What a weird name.
"Well, Catnip, stealing's punishable by death, or hadn't you heard?" I asked. It was meant to be ironic considering that we were both hunting, which is also punishable by death.
"Katniss." Katniss said louder. "And I wasn't stealing it. I just wanted to look at your snare. Mine never catch anything."
I scowled. I thought that she was lying. If she had the audacity to hunt for food and break the law, stealing a rabbit to feed her family would be nothing to her. I remember thinking that luckily I was there to stop her. I didn't think that luckily I was there to meet my best friend.
I glanced at the squirrel she had with her. I thought she had probably stolen that from one of my snares, too.
"So where'd you get the squirrel?" I asked, hoping to watch Katniss fumble with words because she had stolen it from me.
"I shot it." Katniss said without hesitation, taking her bow off her shoulder.
I stared at the bow. It was smaller than a regular sized bow, but clearly effective. The squirrel was pierced right in its eye, that's when I knew Katniss was a true archer.
"Can I see that?" I asked.
Katniss handed me her bow.
"Just remember, stealing's punishable by death." she said.
I smiled. I hate having my words used against me, but I had to give Katniss credit for that one. It had been a long time since I smiled and then was when I remembered how nice it felt.
We started to talk about hunting. We wanted to trade. Not just food, things we knew, weapons, strategies. We agreed that something might work. She might give me a bow if I showed her how to set good snares. Time went by and we taught each other many things. Katniss taught me how to shoot, and I taught her snares and fishing. Katniss eventually gave me one of her father's bows. We shared secret spots where certain foods were plentiful, and gradually, we gained each other's trust. One day, we just became partners, friends, sort of like family. We hunted together and made sure that each of our families got food.
Hunting with Katniss is so much better than hunting alone. Over the years, Katniss became so important to me, I can't even explain it. Somehow, she filled the empty spot that had been torn away from me when my father died. She didn't replace my father, I loved Katniss in a different way. Katniss and I have an irrevocable, unbreakable bond that I can't describe. And now she might be gone.
My body shakes, threatening to sob. I'm not going to cry though, I've never been a big person for tears. I want to be with Katniss, and I don't care if that means one of us will die. I want to be with her so I can tell her how I feel, and so I can make sure that she comes out of the arena alive.
I think of the last time I saw Katniss. That was in the visiting room. I talked to her but I never was able to admit to her what she is to me. I was just about to when the time ran out. If only they had let me stay a few seconds longer, if only they had let me finish my sentence, if only I had fought a little harder for Katniss. She deserves to know everything I want to say to her. She doesn't deserve to die in the arena, with twenty two other innocent children.
Katniss was, Katniss is the person I go to when I have something to say that nobody else can hear. She understands what I'm going through. She's with me when I'm broken, and she stands with me at my best. Katniss Everdeen is the only girl in the world who can make me smile.