Chapter Twelve
All night, I toss and turn, unable to find rest. If I hadn't been sleeping well before the games, I don't know what to call this now. I think of Katniss. Katniss has to make it. But also, I think of all of the other tributes. I keep seeing their faces replayed in my head, especially the little girl's. They all have to die. They all will die if Katniss lives.
Finally, dawn breaks after a night that lasted forever. I hurry to the living room, where they will show an update on what happened while I tried to sleep. I hold my breath, turning on the television. My heart sinks. It's not time yet.
Nervously, I pace around my living room until the clock shows that it's five a.m. They have a few recaps during the day, one at five for the early risers, and one at six. The games start being shown at six thirty, but in the Capitol, they go all night. I wish they went all night here, then I would be able to be with Katniss the whole way. But also, I would never get any rest, I would spend every minute by the television, and I would have no energy to hunt. I'd be like Mrs. Everdeen. Sitting by while my family starves.
The screen shows the girl from District 9 lighting a fire. In the dead of night. Idiot! Now anybody will be able to see her, she's basically asking for death and pointing to where she is! Come and get me, Careers! Well, the thought that some of the tributes practically don't have a brain reassures me. But what comes next on the screen doesn't.
Katniss lies, tied to her tree, watching the girl with the fire. My heart sinks. The idiot waving the Careers over is right by Katniss. Not only is she begging for her death, but putting Katniss in danger too. Part of me wants Katniss to take her out, now, but part of me doesn't want her to, because if the Careers are nearby, they will see the fire go out and hear the canon, and they'll know a dangerous tribute is nearby. But then again, this did happen a while ago, so maybe no other tributes are around.
Then, the screen cuts to various other tributes, Thresh, hiding in the tall grass. Rue, the little girl, up in a tree. The girl from District 5, sleeping in a forest. The boy from District 3, curled up at the base of a tree, working on some contraption that I can't identify. And finally, the Careers and Peeta, trekking through the woods.
Then, showing that time has passed, they cut back to the Career pack. They walk in the woods, and even I can see the fire from where I am on the screen. No! Katniss better have moved, or else the Careers may get her too. If this did happen, she could be dead already. Dead and gone. Just plain gone. Katniss can't be gone, it's unfathomable to me.
One of the Careers, the boy from District 2 I think, points to the fire, and puts a finger over his mouth. Slowly and stealthily, the pack creeps closer. I think of how Katniss and I had to creep through the woods whenever we needed to get closer to an animal, we really don't make any noise at all. Peeta, with or without his limp, is probably waking up the whole woods.
The Careers break out into a run and descend upon the screaming girl with the fire.
"No, no!" she screams. "Stop, please!"
I feel sick as the girl from District 9 begs for her life. She must be what? Fifteen?
The big boy from District 2 takes his knife, and regardless of the girl's screams and pleads, chooses to end it right there.
The Careers laugh and whoop, not caring that they're making a racket, because they'll be able to take down anybody that comes their way. They check the girl's supplies and find nothing valuable.
"Better clear out so they can get the body before it starts stinking." the boy from District 2 says.
I can't breathe. They move closer to Katniss's tree as I move closer to throwing up. I just sit, watching as my best friend might die. I feel weak, powerless.
Then, the pack stops, concerned about something.
"Shouldn't we have heard a canon by now?"
"I'd say yes. Nothing to prevent them from going immediately."
That's true. The canons are supposed to go off at the moment of a tribute's death. And it looked like that girl was pretty in for it when they stuck her with the knife.
"Unless she isn't dead."
"She's dead. I stuck her myself."
"Then where's the canon?"
"Someone should go back. Make sure the job's done."
I hate listening to the Career pack talk, their sickening voices make me want to vomit even more than I already do.
"Yeah, we don't want to have to track her down twice."
"I said she's dead!"
Argument breaks out between the Careers. It's fights like these that can make them take each other out. Personally, I want one of them to kill another, then another to get mad and they all start fighting and take each other out. Then, Katniss will have less to compete with. Much less.
Peeta, who hasn't been contributing much to the argument, breaks it up.
"We're wasting time! I'll go finish her and let's move on." he says.
"Go on then, Lover Boy." The boy from District 2 says. "See for yourself."
The camera follows Peeta back to the girl, lying limp on the ground. He really is in bad condition, with lots of bruises, his bandaged arm and his limp. I can't feel bad for him. He has to die.
Once Peeta is out of earshot, the Careers start to talk.
"Why don't we just kill him now and get it over with?"
"Let him tag along. What's the harm? And he's handy with the knife."
Just as I expected, the Careers want to get rid of Peeta. Something inside of me wants them to do it quickly, so there are less tributes, and I won't have time to get to know Peeta. The quicker they go, the better. The faster this is over. The faster Katniss is home.
"Besides, he's our best chance of finding her."
I clench my fists. "Her" is Katniss. So that's why the Careers let Peeta in, they want to kill Katniss, who is just feet away from them. Peeta is bait. I hope with all of my might that Katniss isn't lured in. She's usually smarter than that. But will Katniss be smarter than that if she's driven by love? It's painful to think about, Katniss loving another boy. Losing herself because she's crazy for him. Forgetting about me as I sit here tortured, collecting dust it seems.
The camera cuts to an oblivious Peeta, who kills the girl with his knife. Then, back to the Careers.
"Why? You think she bought into that sappy romance stuff?"
Is Peeta lying? I hope he is and I hope Katniss knows it.
"She might have. Seemed pretty simpleminded to me. Every time I think about her spinning around in that dress, I want to puke."
Simpleminded? That's not Katniss Everdeen at all. The Careers are in for one hell of a nasty shock.
"Wish we knew how she got that eleven."
"Bet you Lover Boy knows."
Peeta runs back into the crowd, as if on cue.
"Was she dead?" the boy from District 2 asks.
"No. But she is now," Peeta says. A canon shot rings into the air. The deadly sound is a sound of hope to me. One bit closer to Katniss winning. "Ready to move on?"
The Careers run past Katniss's tree and I let out a sigh of relief. The screen goes black. That must've been all the action that went on last night.
"Gale?" my mother asks.
Startled, I turn around.
My mother stands in our living room. A look of question appears on her face, and it's not struggle to know what she's asking.
I nod slowly, with a reassuring twitch of my mouth.
My mother smiles and puts her hand on my shoulder.
"She can do it." she whispers.
"I know she can." I say. And with that, I get up to get ready for school.
Before I leave, I watch a few more minutes of the Hunger Games. One of Katniss's snares caught a rabbit, and she cooks it so she can eat. This will show sponsors that she can hunt and fend for herself. But I must wrench myself away from the television, no matter how much I hate to do so.
Every step I walk to school, the more I feel like I'm abandoning Katniss. More than anything, aside from having Katniss back altogether, I want to just skip school and watch the Hunger Games. If I had the choice, I'd probably be watching until my eyes literally bled. But in school, we only get updates at lunch. During lunch I won't be focusing on eating, I will be staring at the television in hopes that my best friend isn't dead. My stomach squirms when I think that Peeta Mellark's brother might be doing the same. We both might be sitting side by side as my best friend and his brother kill each other. I can't imagine how hard that would be.
School starts out horrible. If I couldn't focus before, I must be totally far gone now. Well, emotionally I'm not in the classroom. Emotionally, I'm right there with Katniss, whispering in her ear what she should do, or visioning what's happening to her right now. She could be dying at the very moment I write the answer to a problem. Or, she could be killing a little twelve year old girl while I read a book. Of course, every time I pick up a book, I only digest the first few words before my mind drifts off into the brutal arena.
Finally, after what seems like endless hours, it's lunch time. I don't get in line to eat. I march straight into the cafeteria and take a seat to stare at the television that hangs on the wall.
Peeta Mellark's brother wordlessly comes and sits at the table I'm at, but we sit a few chairs apart. Our eyes meet, but we don't let them lock for long this time.
I get just what I want. The screen shows Katniss. I feel my body go rigid and my heart speed up. I can't do anything stupid in front of all my classmates…well, it doesn't matter right now. Katniss is the only thing that matters.
I watch as Katniss, with the aid of a walking stick, stumbles along. She looks weak, helpless even. It's hard to even recognize her. She's an easy target for any tribute now. Somebody could just come up right now and take her out. I close my eyes for one brief second of fear, but I have to keep watching. I kick myself for merely blinking. A blink could miss a whole lot in the Hunger Games.
Katniss struggles to keep moving, and I know it's close to the end. Why doesn't somebody just send her water? Just a damn sip of water is all she needs!
Then, Katniss falls to the ground. No, please, no! She needs water, she's dying. And I'm sitting here in school watching. Watching as Katniss brushes her fingers in the mud, accepting her fate. No, get back up! Mud! She's at a pond! The hope brings a new life in me and I almost sit up and scream at Katniss to realize she's lying right by a pond. But I sit tight, hoping, praying that Katniss realizes what is literally yards in front of her. She does. Katniss, realizing, just like me, that she is indeed near water, gets up. I hold my breath, the water could be contaminated. But Katniss is prepared for that. She fills her water bottle and pours some iodine in it, so it should purify. You have to wait a bit, about half an hour, for it to spring into affect. How agonizing that must be. Dehydrated, you finally find water, but then you have to wait for it to be ready. But Katniss waits. Katniss will live…well, not dehydrate at least.
Then, the camera cuts to somebody else, and I remember that I'm in school. I look over at Peeta Mellark's brother, who is sitting beside me, motionless. He's waiting for his brother. He must surely know what the Careers think of him. Then something pops into my head. The only thing keeping Peeta alive is Katniss. The Careers want to get Katniss, so they keep Peeta alive because they feel he'll bring her to them. So basically, Peeta's brother should be hoping Katniss lives for now, so his brother can live. But Peeta must die. He will die if Katniss wins. And I have to remember that. I have to remember that this boy next to me will lose a brother so Katniss can come home. I can't let that bother me, but somewhere deep down, it does. But not to the point where I don't want Katniss to return here. I miss her too much for that.
Lunch finally is over, and I'm forced away from the television. No tributes have died so far today, and there hasn't been much action. I'm disappointed, but not like the Capitol people. They want to see action because they want entertainment. I want to see action so more tributes can be eliminated.
The rest of the school day goes slowly, as it always does. Everything we learn about practically has something to do with coal. We are constantly reminded in school of how Panem became, and how much we owe the Capitol, and things like that. We learn too much about coal. In math, we do problems like, how much coal could you mine out in a month, if you worked at a consistent rate of three pounds an hour? Of course, our problems are more complicated, but it's the same concept. I suppose the Capitol doesn't want us getting too smart, smart enough to figure out a way to overthrow them. That's what this all is. The Capitol does what they do to us, just so they can live. Is the correlation always the same? Killing equals survival? I'm sure there'd be a lot of killing if we rebelled against the Capitol and won, but if we won, there'd be a lot less killing in the future. So we'd be saving lives. Not destroying them. But the Capitol is either so cogent, making it's people believe the things they tell them, or people are just too afraid to rebel. Afraid to take a stand. Afraid to lose their loved ones. We need to stop that cycle and not be afraid.
I shake my head as I head out of class. Thinking up rebellious thoughts is bound to just land me somewhere I don't want to be. Whipped, jailed, fined, killed, you name it. That's it. I'm just afraid.
Finally the school day ends and I almost forget to go to detention. My fists close hard on themselves when I walk through the Principal's door. The gray haired, fake smiling man is keeping me from another hour of Katniss. And I hate him for that.
After an agonizing hour of homework, I head as quickly as I can to the woods. I need to get food fast so I can go home to Katniss. I just need to know if she's alive.
Making sure that nobody's around, I squeeze myself under the fence and take off into the woods. This may be the closest I'll ever come to being free, but I don't like to think that way. Once I'm a good ways into the woods, I sit on a rock and just wait for a moment. I close my eyes and Katniss's appear in my mind. Gray, there's so much more to them than other people see. The determination, the will to survive, but also there's something else in there, too. There's still the little girl she used to be, but it's almost gone by now. Katniss has grown up after all she's been through. I wouldn't call her a kid. But right now all I can think about is those pretty gray eyes.
My eyes snap open. I have to be alert, and I have to get hunting if I want to make it home soon. I begin to check my snares, finding two rabbits and two squirrels. Then, I pick as many familiar berries, herbs and roots as I can find.
I'm pretty satiated with today's haul, so I head down to the Hob to see what kind of trades I can make. I try to run through the black market quickly, I need to get home fast.
After the never ending day, I get home. Frantically, I run into the living room and stop dead in my tracks. I lock eyes with my mother who is sitting by the television. She nods and smiles, and with immense relief, I slide into a chair by the television. Katniss is alive. My mother goes over and sorts today's earnings, and Rory takes it to the Everdeen's place again. I remain silent, glued to the television.
Throughout the day, nothing really happened. No tributes died, and there weren't really any "good fights". The game makers will want to spice the games up a little bit so the audience won't find it boring. They want blood. Usually, the game makers don't kill too many tributes with their tricks, they try to injure them, or force them together. Because tribute versus tribute is apparently a much more intense death scene. I'm just happy that Katniss found water. Of course, that's not very entertaining to the Capitol, just maybe more people will bet on her. It's a sick hope to make, that people will bet on her survival, but if people bet, they won't want to lose money. Therefore, they'll try to send Katniss whatever they can, without going over their budget. What people will do for money these days. Have they ever stopped to think about the kid their betting on? Or do they just see their tribute as an unintelligent, unfeeling animal that just needs to win some sort of game? I think that's what the Capitol sees it all as, and they're just so stupid, I can't even begin to explain. Infinitely idiotic. The Capitol is one of the only things I've ever truly hated. Of course, everything that I hate always roots back to the Capitol.
I head to bed, hoping to get some rest tonight. I might as well rest while Katniss is relatively safe, because I know, there will be more trouble to come.