Chapter Fourteen
I stare at the television for a few miserable seconds. No! It can't leave off right here! I wait for a while, in ludicrous hope that the television might spring back on and show Katniss. As I know deep it my heart, it doesn't.
I go to bed but not to sleep. How can I sleep when my best friend might be lying dead in a meadow, covered in huge bee stings and oozing green puss? How can I sleep when Katniss could be going crazy, hallucinating and dying a slow, mad, painful death?
I stare out my window. I always thought of how unfortunate I was. A big family, a dead father, no money. But I take risks. I hunt. So many families don't hunt and they don't get food and they literally starve to death. Katniss is in the Hunger Games now. I can't take that. I just simply can't. I want her back so much, I'd do anything. If Katniss's safety meant me jumping into a pile of poisonous snakes I'd do it. At least death by being bitten by a snake wouldn't be as painful as watching the games now.
I toss and turn for hours, disturbed by thoughts that cut me open and eat me alive. I can barely keep my eyes open. My lids creep their way down, getting heavier by the second. But every time my eyes close I see Katniss's mangled body laying in the grass, twisted and disfigured, her empty eyes staring in the sky.
After hours of worry and nightmares, the light comes into my room. The light that brings news of Katniss.
I bound out of bed and turn on the television for the recap. Nobody died last night, but Katniss got some burn cream as a gift from Haymitch. That's good that he's sensible enough to send her things. Katniss has started sawing the wasp nest, but she hasn't finished. Has she given up? I don't know because that's all that the recap shows, and I'm left to ponder until the Hunger Games show live.
I wait for the few minutes between the recap and the start of the daily showing of the games. Could it be any longer?
"Gale." my mother walks over to me and places a hand on my shoulder. It's that urgent voice again.
"Yes?" I ask.
"Tell me the truth." my mother says. Her eyes are pleading. "Do you eat at school?"
A knot of guilt and hunger ties up in my stomach as I analyze my mother's question. Lying would comfort her, but do I have any option but telling the truth. Yes, I can make my mother not worry.
"Yes." I say softly.
My mother nods her head, but her eyes don't believe me.
"Eat breakfast. Now." she says.
I nod and go to the kitchen. I'm hungry, but I don't want to eat. Children starve all around me! Why not let Rory, Vick and Posy eat more? Katniss doesn't eat much at all in the Hunger Games! Why me? I don't say any of this to my mother, she'll have plenty of reason to argue. So I eat some bread and fruit, not to satisfy my stomach, but to satisfy my mom.
Then, the Hunger Games return. I'm by the television in a second.
Katniss is up in the tree, sawing her way through the wasp nest. A low, distinctive hum can be heard emanating from the hive. Katniss needs to work quickly. Dawn is approaching and there's not much time before the Careers will wake up.
Katniss saws at the nest, desperate to make it fall before the wasps realize what's happening or the Careers wake up. Katniss gives the branch one final saw before it detaches from the tree. She throws it away from her and it falls through the branches, getting caught for a second here or there, but it lands right in the middle of the unsuspecting Careers.
The camera cuts back to Kantiss who has been stung a few times by tracker jackers that escaped the nest before its descent. She has the sense to remove some of the stingers and still cling onto the tree. I don't think she'll die from three stings, but you never know. The effects of tracker jacker venom are pretty gruesome.
The tracker jacker nest splits open by the Careers. They all wake with a start. Some of the Careers scream and try to pick up valuable items, but a few, like Peeta, are smart and run out of the area as fast as they can.
"To the lake! To the lake!" they scream.
The girl, Glimmer, from District 1 seems hopeless. She and the girl from District 4 have been stung a few times in their desperate hope save weapons and food. Glimmer screams and jabs her arrow at the oncoming wasps in futile attempt to rid herself of the pests.
"Help! Help me!" Glimmer cries as the wasps proceed to sting her.
A twinge of guilt fills me as I remember that even the Careers are humans.
The girl from District 4 doesn't even look back, she continues to run away from her ally, who is dying horribly from wasp stings.
The camera follows the girl from District 4, the one who abandoned Glimmer. She runs, but wasps follow her. The stings must be getting to her head. She goes for a little while, limping, staggering, before falling to her knees. She tries to push herself back up, but when she does, she falls again.
I turn my head. This is too hard to watch. People trying to cling to life, going insane, but still, they persist to live. Can't the Capitol see what they're doing? Can't they see how wretched, how vile and cruel they are?
The camera cuts back to Glimmer who is twitching on the ground. She's a goner for certain.
Then, it shows Katniss, scuttling down from her tree and running away, back to the pond that she soaked her calf in. She wobbles slightly, but she's able to make it to the pond. I think she's going to be okay. For a moment, I'm content, until I realize that Glimmer has the bow and arrows. The bow! The only chance of Katniss making it through this! The bow is the reason I've had as much hope as I do! Katniss needs that bow.
Then, before I know if Katniss is realizing what I do, the camera goes to the other Careers, who've made it to the lake. Panting and oozing with green liquid, they submerge themselves in water in hopes to elude the wasps. It does do some good, and some of the Careers are better off than others. I don't think any of these will die like Glimmer and the girl from District 4 will.
Finally, the camera cuts back to Katniss. She is out of the pond, making her way to Glimmer. Glimmer isn't dead yet, but she is in some sort of coma will be dead soon. Katniss has to make it to her fast, to get the bow before Glimmer dies and the hovercraft picks her up, picks the bow up.
Katniss reaches Glimmer, but something is wrong with her. When she tries to turn Glimmer's body, a look of horror and shock crosses her face and she looks like she's going to be sick.
Glimmer isn't a pretty sight either. Now, dead, she's covered in huge lumps, bursting with green ooze. She's swollen and pretty much messed up. A sight that makes me want to lose my small breakfast. It's so different from the girl I saw on the night of the interviews, the pretty girl so seductive in her golden dress…now I can't stand to look at her.
Katniss breaks Glimmer's fingers with a rock and tries to turn her over to retrieve the bow. She falls to the ground, having seen something that I haven't. Keep going!
Then, a cannon shot rings grimly through the air and I know that the District 4 girl is dead. The camera cuts to her briefly, showing her body, twisted and disfigured as Glimmer's, lying alone in a puddle of ooze.
The camera cuts back to Katniss, who is breathing extremely rapidly. She forces Glimmer onto her stomach. She manages to grab the sheath of arrows, and tear it from Glimmer's possession. Katniss has the bow. Katniss has a chance. Katniss can win.
Then, the camera cuts to a few Careers, who are running madly in Katniss's direction. Peeta, poised to throw his spear, bursts through the trees and to Katniss. No! If he kills her now, I swear he will die an ignominious fate, being hated by most of District 12, including me. But Peeta doesn't throw his spear. His arm hangs limply at his side. What?
"What are you still doing here?" he snaps. He's gotten stung a few times, but I'm not concentrating on that.
Katniss stares blankly up at Peeta.
"Are you mad?" Peeta asks, poking Katniss with the wooden end of his spear. "Get up! Get up!"
Katniss gets up and I can tell she's confused. Just as confused as I am.
"Run! Run!" Peeta screams, pushing Katniss away from him.
Katniss runs away uncertainly, but fast. She clutches onto the bow and arrows for dear life, because without them, her chances of winning are slim. But with the precious bow and arrows, she can take out every single tribute in the games. She crashes beyond her pool and into the woods. Something is terribly wrong. She staggers, trips, falls, but she keeps going. Horror, confusion, and fear cross her face and I know that the hallucinations have begun. This can't be good.
The camera cuts to Cato, the boy from District 2, who is now with Peeta.
"Where is she? Where is she?!" he screams at Peeta.
Peeta's face goes white.
"You let her get away! She was right there!" Cato yells. He is furious, no doubt about it.
Peeta says nothing. He stands still, bracing what comes next.
Cato draws his sword, steaming.
Peeta raises his spear, hands shaking.
Cato yells and lunges at Peeta, his sword splitting Peeta's spear in half. With a single swipe of the dull end of Cato's sword, Peeta is on the ground. And I know this is it. Peeta will be dead and Katniss will be our district's only hope.
"What are you going to do now, lover boy?" Cato sneers. "It doesn't matter that your girlfriend got away, I'll catch up to her soon. You know what? I don't think your death will be quick…I may even give you time to say goodbye to your Katniss before you die…unless she dies first."
What kind of sick person is this boy? I don't like this at all. Even thought I know it's easier for Peeta to die, and I'm fine with him dying, I can't believe that Cato could be so cruel and heartless.
Cato slashes his sword against Peeta's leg. Peeta cries out in anguish and I think of his brother, the one that sits by me at lunch, the brother who is probably staring at his television with the guilty blue eyes that connected with my gray ones.
Cato laughs and runs the other way, retreating to his lake. He starts to totter. The Careers must be experiencing the affects of the tracker jacker stings.
"Gale." my mother calls.
"Huh?" I ask.
"School." she says.
I get up and get ready to go. I quickly check the time. Dang it! I've stayed longer by the television than most days, and I'll probably have to run to make it to school.
In a matter of minutes, I'm out the door, running. School isn't school anymore. School now is the few hours leading up to lunchtime when I'll be able to see Katniss. And in those few hours, I can do nothing but think of her.
Lunchtime comes and I almost sprint to the lunchroom. I stop before I get to the lunch line, remembering my mother's pleading voice and how she wanted me to eat food. I'd be letting her down by passing up lunch again, but I can't waste any time. So, disregarding my mother's urgency, I sit down to watch the television.
The screen shows tiny Rue, up in a tree, safe from the wasp stings. She must've cleared out of the area before Katniss cut the nest down.
Then, the Careers are shown. All of them are collapsed by the lake, going through some sort of convulsion. It's a sick sight to watch, even though I want the Careers to die, I don't want them to be tortured. Watching living things suffer is horrible, no matter the value of the living thing.
Peeta isn't with the Careers. Of course he isn't, he's probably bleeding to death right now in this moment, going through the same hallucinations that the rest of the tracker jacker victims are going through. In that state, he may be dead already.
I cast a glance over to Peeta's brother. He looks especially weary today. Tired and lost looking, his blue eyes look gray, almost like mine. I wonder if he thinks about the reaping day and how he could have saved his brother's life, but decided not to. I wonder if he thinks about Peeta, his younger brother, lying injured and bleeding, having hallucinations and seizures. It's no wonder he looks sick.
Now it's my turn to be sick. The camera cuts to Katniss who is sitting down by a tree, her head jerking and her eyes fluttering open and closed. She trashes wildly and something inside of me is stabbed with a sort of terrible pain. A soft moan escapes my lips.
"No, Katniss, no." I say.
What can Katniss be seeing right now? Prim dying for sure, that's her biggest fear. My stomach knots itself as I think about the torment she must be going through. It would be like me watching Rory, Vick and Posy die, I couldn't take it. How can Katniss? Damn, it! Why can't I be in the arena, not her? Please, please, don't let Katniss go through this.
I slam my fist on the table as I watch Katniss twitch and writhe. A sob shakes my body but I refuse to let the tears fall. Not here, not now.
And just like that, lunch is over. But I don't head to class, I head straight to the bathroom. I don't know why I do, but I can't sit in class while Katniss is like this. I just sink to the floor of the bathroom and stare at the wall. I can't just sit here and immerse myself in pain, but I can't just go to class. Not this time. I just simply can't.
"Gale?" I don't need to look up to know that Cormack has walked into the bathroom.
He takes a seat beside me.
"The teacher asked me to come get you." his voice is awkward, but he continues to talk to me, like any friend. "And I knew you were in here."
"Did you see her?" I ask. There's a strange, hollow tone to my voice.
"Yeah, I did." Cormack says.
We pause for a second. No further words are needed.
"Can you make it through class?" Cormack asks.
"What kind of question is that?" I snap. "Of course I can."
I rise and walk out of the bathroom, leaving Cormack to come follow me. Now is the time to put on my mask.
I walk into class, every single pair of eyes are focused on me. I sit down in my desk like nothing out of the ordinary ever happened.
Cormack comes into the room a few seconds after me and sits down, too.
The teacher teaches class again, and I know some kids are still staring. I'll let them stare. They can think whatever they want. All I care about is Katniss.
School ends and I go to my last detention. After this, I will never have to come here when school is over again.
"Skipping class, too, Mr. Hawthorne?" the principal asks me as I walk in.
My fists clench and I bite down very hard. I can't afford to ruin this now.
"I'm sorry." I say.
To my surprise, the principal doesn't say anything. He just sits by his desk as I pretend to do my homework. I manage to get a little done, but I can't focus.
Finally the hour is over and I'm free from detention forever. I quickly head to the woods. I catch a few fish and gather some food. The distraction is making me blunder through the woods with more noise than usual. I used to could just glide through with a bodacious stealth and ease. Now, I can't stop thinking about Katniss, being tortured at this very moment, twisting and turning, going through a pain I've never known.
Once I'm done hunting I head to the Hob, the haunting thoughts still lingering over me, pushing down on me harder and harder as I walk further. Surely the people here have seen what's been done to Katniss, because they watch the games, everybody watches the games. Each year, two tributes have the possibility of bringing us extra food, food that we need so much, food that our starving people will never see. But each year, we're just disappointed again, because only two District 12 tributes have ever won, only two tributes have ever come home and brought the emaciated bodies more food.
Nobody says a word about Katniss, except for the tin can that still sits, waiting for donations. Katniss's can. She may never get the chance to know what this district is doing for her.
Stop! I order myself. I can't think like this, Katniss can't die! She's going to win and she's going to come home. I'll have my Catnip back soon enough. But something deep inside me views those words as quixotic, unreal. Something deep inside of me doubts them, and whatever that something is, it's scaring me greatly. The thing that really scares me is that I don't know whether to believe myself or not.