Disclaimer: Deep in the jungle, there is a magical monkey that farts every time someone is born, by the time that monkey stops farting, I will still not own Harry Potter.

Warning: Slash (yaoi), Femme-slash (yuri), AU-ish, Spoilers for DH.

AN: hey people, it's me again!

Chapter Five: Ginny and Me

"So...." started Ginny Potter—newly divorced and now free woman—uncomfortably, "...You wanted to speak to me?"

Astoria gave a slight nod, eyes unreadable.

"Yes, I did actually," she replied politely.

"Well...then come in...I guess..." said Ginny—albeit a bit reluctantly—opening the door wider to let Astoria pass through and into the hallway of her small cottage.

Astoria and Ginny stood awkwardly in the hall for a moment, before Ginny seemed to come to her senses, and ushered Astoria into the small parlor.

"Oh! Please do sit down!" fussed Ginny, nervously straightening things out.

"Sorry for the mess..." muttered Ginny, embarrassed.

'The one time I have company, and my home is a mess! And that company is ASTORIA MALFOY no less! Of all the people in the world, it had to be a Malfoy, didn't it! Oh! She must think me such a slob!' fretted Ginny in her mind.

'She's so beautiful when she's flushed...' thought Astoria with a small smile, 'Now to get those clothes off....then the vision would be perfect!'

"Ahem," Astoria cleared her throat, "It's not a problem, Ginevra..."

Ginny stopped her fussing with the couch throw, and turned to stare at Astoria in astonishment.

Astoria blushed and it was Ginny's turn to admire the regal, cold ice princess that was Astoria Malfoy.

'How I'd love to melt that icy facade of hers and see her whole body flush with desire for me!' thought Ginny, sapphire blue eyes darkening with lust.

Ginny gave an inaudible gasp of shock before vigorously berating herself.

'What am I thinking?! I thought I was over these perverted desires for my feminine comrades! Why am I even thinking of a woman this way when, although I'm divorced, I still love my ex-spouse?! And why can't I stop thinking about how good it would feel to have her beneath me begging for my touch? I can't be thinking this way! It's wrong! Besides...this is Astoria Malfoy...she wouldn't want me anyway!'

With that thought in mind to reassure her, Ginny turned her attention back to Astoria who was staring at her in concern.

"What?" asked Ginny, bewildered.

"...I asked if you're quite alright?" repeated Astoria, looking at Ginny worriedly.

Ginny's face burned in embarrassment, before she nodded tersely, swallowing the lump in her throat that had suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"I'm fine...." she muttered.

Astoria smiled and Ginny had to catch her breath.

She was even more beautiful when she smiled.

"Please, sit," said Ginny in a formal tone, regaining her composure. Astoria sat and Ginny did the same.

She looked at Astoria expectantly.

"So what did you want to talk about?" she asked her guest.

Astoria flushed, before she stuttered out, "Well...I....that is to say that...I—I heard about your divorce from Harry...I divorced Draco, actually, pretty recently so...um...I...just wanted to ask you...if you're—you're still...you know? In love with him? I mean, was there someone else that prompted you to divorce him, or what? Ugh, that came out wrong, I meant—"

Ginny, who had been staring in shock, snapped out of her stunned silence and held her fingers to Astoria's petal soft lips.

"Astoria....calm down!" said Ginny soothingly with a hint of laughter in her eyes, "Yes, Harry and I did divorce each other recently...he wanted someone else and I...well, he didn't love me, and I decided that because I love him so much, I'd let him go...you know?" all laughter was gone from Ginny's gaze, in it's place a look of sorrow, "I just want him to be happy...and if it isn't with me...then so be it...I still love him...and I want him as my own. I mean, when we spent the night together in a drunken passion—the same night I got pregnant with James, incidentally—I was so happy, because I thought it meant that he actually loved me and wanted to be with me...but I was wrong...He ignored me after we had had sex that night...and when I found out I was pregnant...I didn't know what to do....so I told Ron...and he told Harry, and next thing I knew, Harry asked me to marry him....and I was so happy....because I thought that he had realized I was the only one for him. It wasn't until later that I learned that Ron had told him, and I being the stupid little delusional girl I was, actually thought that Harry Potter could love me, ME, Ginevra Weasley...but he didn't...he only stayed with me out of obligation and guilt. All the while, loving someone else..." Ginny paused to gather her bearings and force back the tears that had started to well in her large sapphire doe eyes, "Did you know...that he used to be with Draco Malfoy?" she chuckled humorlessly, then went on, not waiting for an answer.

"No one knew but me...I'm more observant than everyone gives me credit for, and I saw that they were together...and madly in love with each other. And I was so jealous...because I wanted Harry all to myself of course. I kept hoping that my observation was wrong, and that Harry would one day discover that I was The One for him....I kept deluding myself until I started to believe it...and when we married, my delusions got worse....at least....at least until he yelled out Malfoy's name during sex....that was a rather unpleasant wake up call...that was two months ago...and now...now look at me...pathetically in love with a man who could never love me back and lusting after someone who is equally incapable of feeling the same. Boy, I pick them great, don't I?" Ginny laughed self-deprecatingly, "But....I'd rather he be happy without me, than miserable with me, you understand?"

Astoria was stunned, she knew exactly how that felt...the jealousy, the sorrow, the pain, the sacrifice of letting someone go...almost all of it...

"I understand perfectly," she said softly.

Ginny, who had been holding her head in her hands, kicking herself for revealing so much, looked up, startled.

"You—you...do?" she whispered, barely daring to believe the younger Slytherin girl's words.

Astoria nodded.

"E—ever since my third year...I've loved someone....who could never love me back....and I beat myself up about it so much...because it was wrong of me to love them...they were the 'enemy,' the last person I was supposed to fall for. And to make matters worse...they were a female....a Gryffindor female, one year my senior and in love with someone else...in love with a MALE someone else. She didn't even know I existed...and I was much too meek and shy to show her otherwise...to this day....to this day I still love her...and she still doesn't know....she eventually married the man she was in love with and left me in the dust to rot in an arranged marriage...The only thing I have to be thankful for is that Draco never pushed me....but I still love her...and I still don't have the courage to tell her how I feel...I'd give anything for her to look at me twice...even to just be my friend....ANYTHING."

By the end of her speech, Ginny had tears in her eyes.

"Oh Astoria...I'm so sorry...you must love her so much...and to imagine! All this time not even having the closure of knowing how she feels about you...all this time...loving her from afar....! I wish I could help you in some way..." said Ginny softly.

Astoria shook her head, white blonde locks shaking all over the place.

"It's okay Ginevra...." she said, a sad smile on her pretty face and a grace to her sorrow, "All I want is for her to be happy...and I'd do anything to help her find that happiness...even if I'll never be a part of her life..."

"Is she very beautiful?" asked Ginny, knowing that the stranger had to be to be Astoria Malfoy, the Ice Princess's secret love.

Astoria nodded slowly.

"She's so beautiful, I feel impure looking at her," she replied.

"Who is she? I might know her...maybe I can help you win her heart?" suggested Ginny, suddenly wanting to help the woman who so understood her pain.

Astoria shook her head again, smiling sadly, "No Ginevra, I must win her heart on my own...you couldn't help me anyways...but I sincerely do appreciate the sentiment."

Ginny's face fell and Astoria, noticing, hastened to explain, "She's a stubborn girl, Ginevra...and I have to convince her that I am sincere on my own...I don't want to coerce her or make her feel pressured."

Ginny's hurt look dissipated and she nodded slowly.

"I understand," she said softly, "I truly do."

Astoria stood, preparing to leave, and said, "Ginevra....I would love to be your friend...I don't have many outside of Draco's contacts and I do get quite lonely...and I feel we have a kinship in our unrequited love...kindred spirits, so to speak. So would you consider coming to tea sometime in the near future?"

Ginny was stunned into silence, before coming to her senses and nodding happily.

"I'd love to."

AN: Well, here's the latest chapter!!!! Not much action in here, I'll admit, but I plan to build it up slowly and I was setting the stage here....I hope you liked the little Ginny and Astoria history lessons you got, though!

Oh, and to my beloved reviewers and fans, thank you for being so patient with me, I know you've been waiting a long time, and hopefully I'll be able to update more in a shorter amount of time, but until then, REVIEW AWAY!!! Hehehe.

And in response to one reviewer's comment about how Lucius is older than James, I am fully aware of this, but I've decided to make them the same age in my story's world as it is essential to the plot, so please bear with me, okay?

Until next time!

—Regina A. DeLuna