Disclaimer: Deep in the jungle, there is a magical monkey that farts every time someone is born, by the time that monkey stops farting, I will still not own Harry Potter.

Warning: Slash (yaoi), Femme-slash (yuri), AU-ish, Spoilers for DH.

AN: hey people, it's me again!

Chapter Fourteen: Discovering Carpe Diem

Draco Malfoy growled as Harry's wretched muggle device called a "sell fone" rang, once again while they were right in the middle of doing something. Harry hastily rolled off of Draco and with an apologetic look over his shoulder, answered the phone.

"Hullo?" said Harry tentatively into the phone, fearing and dreading Draco's inevitable wrath after he hung up.

"Dad?" came a shaking voice.

It was Lily Potter (Aka Lily Luna Potter).

"What's wrong Lily?" asked Harry, already alarmed at his daughter's tone of voice.

"Oh my God, Dad, you have to stop him!" wailed Lily, sounding near hysterical.

Harry sprang up off the bed, so agitated and frightened, he was ready to apparate to Hogwarts in five seconds.

"What happened?! Lily, are you alright?! What's going on?! What's wrong?!" he demanded, panicking.

"It's Al, Dad!!!" cried Lily.

Harry went white, then began to sway, nearly hyperventilating.

"Harry?" demanded Draco, worried about the look on his lover's face.

Harry only gazed at him, shocked dumb.

"Harry!" yelled Draco when Harry began to sway. He caught Harry before he could hit the ground. When Harry still showed no sign of responding, he growled and slapped Harry's face. Hard.

"Ouch! What the bloody hell was that for!" he yelled.

Draco scowled.

"For scaring the living shit out of me, that's what, you wanker!" he seethed.

Harry came to his senses.

"I'm sorry, love," he said, ashamed that he had scared Draco.

Draco's fair face relaxed as he pulled himself back together.

"Now here," he said, handing Harry the cell phone, "Talk to Lily and ask her what's so terrible she had to call you during a very bad time, alright?"

Harry nodded, still visibly upset.

"Lily?" he queried.

Lily, who had been hollering "Dad! DAD! ARE YOU OKAY?!" on the phone sighed with relief.

"I thought you had died for a minute there, Dad," she said.

"Tell me what's wrong with Albus, Lily...NOW!" snapped Harry, too worried to be patient.

Lily went quiet all of the sudden, as if remembering something horrible and hesitating to say it.

"Well...Oh dad, it was awful! Al had been missing from his dorms all night and when Rose asked me where he was, Ciaran Finnegan told me he hadn't been in the dorm all night! When I asked his sister McKenna (Who has a huge crush on Al and always knows where he is), she told me he had said something about going to the Prefect's bathroom after curfew to take a bath and think. You know how Al likes to daydream...But anyhow, I decided to go look for him. Starting at the Prefect's bathroom. Well I tried to open the entrance, but there was some weird spell on it that wouldn't let me in, even though I knew the password. I was just about to give up when I heard some weird noises. It sounded like Al was grunting in pain...and I heard someone else's voice making the same noises, so I assumed that Al was fighting someone...but then I heard the other person moan...moan, "Give it to me Al!" in a breathy voice. Well after that, I just had to stay so I could find out who Al was shagging and tease him about it, you know? Well I hid and waited until they were done. And when the entrance finally opened, out came...Scorpius Malfoy? And I thought, whoops, I guess I must have imagined that Al was in there when it was actually Malfoy shagging someone..." she trailed off.

"Well?" said Harry harshly, "What's the problem?"

"Oh Dad!" wailed Lily suddenly, "It was awful! I was about to turn away, when I distinctly heard Al's voice say, "Wait Scorpius!" and I turned around, only to see them kiss! KISS! Seriously Dad! Al literally stuck his tongue down Scorpius Malfoy's throat! And he looked like he enjoyed it, too! I just HAD to tell you Dad! Scorpius Malfoy is an Ex-Death Eater's son, after all! Who knows what Malfoy could have done to convince Al that he loves him! 'Cause I confronted Al and he told me he loves Malfoy! He can't love Malfoy, though! He just CAN'T! Malfoy had to have cursed him! He just HAD to! I mean, they WERE working on that stupid Carpe Diem project together! Maybe Malfoy cursed him during one of their study sessions! Oh, Dad! What am I going to do?!"

And with that Lily began to weep.

Harry was struck dumb...when he finally found himself, he began to laugh quite hard and hysterically.

"Harry?" queried Draco, looking worried, "HARRY! What's wrong?! Tell me NOW!"

But Harry was too far gone, laughing.

"HARRY!!!!" yelled Draco, shaking Harry, but it was no use.

Harry began to gasp for breath, his laughter becoming sobs, and, dropping the phone, said one single phrase. A phrase both so hauntingly familiar and ominous, that it sent a shiver down Draco's spine.

"Carpe Diem."

And with that, Harry succumbed to blissful oblivion.

AN: WOOOOOOOOOO!!! I'm on a roll this week!

REVIEWS MAKE THE REVIEW MONSTER HAPPY!

Lucius: Yes, I think it's time for an intervention.

Draco: I agree...without them, she goes psychotic and punishes US!

Scorpius: I know, right?! She keeps threatening to discontinue the story if no one reviews! Therefore Making US suffer!

Astoria: :Making out with Ginny:

Scorpius: MO-OM! Stop that! Do you know how disturbing it is to see you make out with Al's mom! It's creepy! Get a room already!

Ginny: Mmm, good idea. Let's go, Astoria! :Grabs Astoria and runs off:

Al: Okay, what just happened?

Scorpius: Um, I think I may have inadvertently encouraged your mom to shag my mom...

Al: YOU WHAT?!

Scorpius: Ahaha, sorry?

Al: You pervert!

Draco: Hey! My son is NOT a pervert!

Harry: ORLY? Just last week, I found some handcuffs in Al's room...that same week, I saw Scorpius's wrists....Did you know your son likes bondage? :Snigger:

Lucius: That's a ridiculous and hideous accusation! No self respecting Malfoy would let himself be restrained in such a fashion!

James: ORLY? Why, doesn't being tied to the headboard while I bugger you count as bondage? :Innocent:

Lucius: :Blushes: Quiet you! That was ONE TIME!

James: and if I recall correctly, by the time we were finished, your voice was hoarse from screaming my name. :wink:

Harry: Oh eww! I so did NOT need to know that!

Draco: :Turns green: Neither did I!

All: Anyways, Review! Or Reggie will get mad and punish us!

Me: Ooh, sounds kinky. :wiggles eyebrows suggestively:

All: REVIEW ALREADY!!!! DX