A/N: This chapter is also known as the attack of the semi-colon. They're everywhere; I apologize. As always, thanks for the reviews, and I hope you keep them coming because they all completely make my day. :D
Piece of advice: Life is short. Eat dessert first.
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And every time tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved
-Someday You Will be Loved, Death Cab for Cutie
December 6
I'm going to murder Lily. I don't even care if it means going to Azkaban for the entirety of my life; that girl needs to be cursed. As soon as possible. We are officially in a fight. Which, I suppose, is partially my fault, as I was the one who decided brutal honesty would be the correct path to take.
It wasn't.
When I first approached her, in her dorm, and shared that I am worried that I am falling for Scorpius Malfoy and therefore she should not, under any circumstances, have snogged him, I was once again astounded by her reaction. The girl does not cease to amaze me… Though it tends to not be in a positive fashion.
First of all she laughed at me (quite condescendingly) and stated that 'obviously she knew I had feelings for him, a blind fool could see that' (Wow, thanks) and that she 'couldn't believe it took her actually snogging him for me to finally admit it.' I refuse to believe that she orchestrated that entire bet and snogged all of Slytherin house just to get me to admit my feelings.
That's a bit extreme.
Not to mention… Clever. Which is not a term generally associated with Lily Luna Potter. I would be admiring her devious planning right now if it didn't mean that she snogged Malfoy knowing full well how upset it would make me, how it would make me literally sick to my stomach to watch. Just so I would tell her 'the truth'? Who does stuff like that? What does it even matter to her if I admitted it or not, considering she already knew?
Things just continued to go downhill after that. I was furious, and I felt like she had betrayed our friendship. So when I followed through with my plan to tell her my perhaps harsh but entirely accurate opinion of her, I did not hold back. In the slightest. I screeched and yelled and called her all sorts of nasty names (about half of which are completely correct, and the others… well… it seemed, at the time, that she deserved them, but now I think they may have been a bit more cruel than necessary).
She became hysterical; If I wasn't a much more proficient witch than her I would have feared for my life. But I do feel just awful about how much I hurt her, in spite of everything she did to me. She's family. And I know her; I know she doesn't think about the consequences her actions are going to have. She just does things. And then, if those things do cause a grievance, she tends to make the people in question feel guilty for being angry in the first place. It's not like she didn't have 'good intentions' after all.
According to her. I don't want to let her make me feel guilty. I have a right to be exacerbated; she totaled my heart for some self-righteous reason that hardly even makes sense to me. I'm done with her.
But I was hurt. I still am. I'm hurt, and upset, and I'm just thankful that I have finally stopped crying, because it gives me an awful headache. My body literally protests against the tears. I shouldn't be crying over this anyway; it's stupid, Lily is an irritating slag, and Malfoy… would rather snog her. So what do I need any of them for?
I have plenty of other cousins. Most of whom are much more sensitive and thoughtful than dearest Lily. Though I probably won't tell Al the truth about his hair after this; after all, I can't afford to lose him too. Him and Lily may gang up on me if I hurt his feelings. And I never needed Malfoy. There are so many other blokes in this school it's daunting. There is probably a nice, sweet Hufflepuff boy who I haven't met yet who is the one for me.
I can feel it. Malfoy is wrong for me. That's why I fell for him in the first place; my heart always wants things that are bad for it. It's like a dessert addict; it knows that all the sugars and fats are just going to cause destruction, but it can't resist.
Who wants vegetables when there's cake available anyway? I certainly don't.
Just because my heart needs a vegetable, doesn't mean it wants one. Though I think I could find a more attractive metaphor, because I don't feel very motivated to run out and find a vegetable lover. Can you blame me? It's not very appealing. I just need to convince myself that that's what I want; I don't want the dark chocolate fudge caramel tart with strawberry drizzle that is Scorpius Malfoy, I want the parsnip that is the yet unknown Hufflepuff boy.
Or should I say Hufflepuff Hunk?
That's a bit better. I'm sure there are some hunks in Huffepuff somewhere. Though maybe not in my year. I may have to prey on a younger man. If Lorcan can find passion with a fifth year, I'm sure I can too. But the thought does make me somewhat uncomfortable. Blokes have barely hit puberty at fifteen.
Merlin, I hate my life. I'm going to go find a new best friend.
Oh, this is so hopeless. I'm so terribly awkward around new people; it's a battle for me just to make an acquaintance, let alone a true friend. I suppose that's the reason that all of my friends are family members who have been forced to get to know me due to various Weasley/Potter gatherings.
I thought perhaps the Library would be an efficient way to meet someone new, broaden my social horizons a tad. So I headed there right after Lunch, and sat down next to some girl who I had never seen before in my life. Though she had a friendly enough face. I tried to make polite conversation, get to know her a bit, maybe discover what we had in common.
So I asked her what she was reading… And she cruelly sniffed that it was 'none of my business' and that 'I wouldn't be interested in literary works of this magnitude anyway'. She then kindly (or, to be honest, not so kindly) demanded I leave her alone so she could continue to immerse herself in knowledge.
How rude. She should really have known that I am interested in all literary works of all magnitudes. Does she not know who I am?
Oh dear. Now I'm becoming an ego-maniac on top of all of my other social issues.
I can't just meet people on my own. Even the girls in my dorm, though we have lived in close proximity for the past 6 years, are not counted as friends. Not that I would want them to be; all of my dreams of being in a house full of studious bookworms like myself, that seemed like it may come true once I was sorted into Ravenclaw, was dashed the second I met my dorm mates.
If I ever meet more vain, shallow, dimwitted girls in my life I may die of shock. I cannot comprehend how anyone can talk, every second of every day, about themselves, and not get sick of their own voices. I'm certainly sick of their voices. And thus is the reason that I have never bothered to try and gain their friendship; though, it would come in handy while dealing with my current situation of utter friendlessness and need for revenge.
Apparently they are excellent backstabbers. The best in the business, some say. I could use their expertise in all things evil and manipulative, for when I get my revenge on Lily. She deserves it, for playing such a large role in the unmitigated annihilation of my heart. Though I know I will most likely not do anything at all to make Lily 'pay'.
I can't handle seeing her more upset. I'm too soft to be an able avenger.
-Rose Weasley. The Girl Who is Far Too Alone to be This Picky About Friends.
A/N: Sorry there was no Scor/Rose interaction! I will have to work double time next chapter to make up for it ;)
This is giving me flashbacks of English Literature 12, studying Hamlet, with that man of action vs. man of inaction business. I hope Rose isn't hated by the end of this story, like Hamlet was, by, well, me.
Shoutout to LivingForWriting for predicting the tears… how could there not be crying?
Review if you've ever wanted someone who was all wrong for you. :)