A/N: I have nothing witty to say here. But I want to put an A/N anyway… So yeah. Happy reading, and thanks for reviewing. :)

So that is how I learned the lesson

That everyone is alone

And your eyes must do some raining

If you are ever going to grow

-Bowl of Oranges, Bright Eyes

December 8

I don't understand gossip. Well, I should say, I understand the technicalities of it, such as its literal definition: idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others. Simple enough.

But why do we do it?

And yes, I said we. I gossip like everyone else. I just can't figure out why, why we all find the private business of others so riveting. Are our own lives really so dull that we need to live vicariously through the trials and tribulations of our peers?

Don't answer that. Of course they are.

Though how anyone could find my life worthy of being 'hot gossip' is beyond me. I mean hardly anything exciting ever happens to me. Let's take a look, shall we? In the past 2 weeks all that's happened is my drunkenly dancing on a table, and cheating, and being dumped, and losing my best friend…

Okay, I suppose other Hogwartians may find themselves wishing their lives were as full to the brim of excitement and emotional turmoil as mine is. If they knew about all of these events. Which, er, they don't. They only know of the 3 least exciting of the 4. That is, everything but the cheating. Which I think would be the only thing worthy of gossip anyway. Everyone dances on tables at some point, it's hardly front page news.

Merlin knows why the populace of Hogwarts feels the need to discuss my brutal fight with my ex-best friend. It's not that interesting. People should really mind their own business; what do they care why Lily and I are fighting? And how could Cory Blyth honestly start a rumor that we were fighting over him?

How ridiculous can one be?

The fact that people believed it was somewhat insulting to the intelligence of the students in this school. Something needs to be done. I would suggest involving the Ministry of Magic; the decline in the intellect of today's youth is simply appalling. Cory Blyth? As if.

Then there's the whisper circulating that we are fighting over Scorpius Malfoy. Merlin knows where that idea came from. Her snogging him may have been what sparked our disagreement, but it is completely ludicrous to suggest that we are fighting over him. As if we both were driven mad by our desire for him and have therefore turned against each other.

Who do you think started that rumour?

Of course it was the Devil himself. He had the nerve to confront me about it after Potions this morning. Said he wanted to give his sincere condolences (right) that his sheer desirability had driven a family apart. Stay modest, Malfoy. I was quick to assure him that our blow-out had nothing at all to do with his desirability, and everything to do with Lily's moral shortcomings, but he wouldn't believe a word of it.

Wonderful. Because the whole situation with Malfoy wasn't humiliating enough already, what with him destroying all of my snogconfidence by attesting that Lily was 'better'. I've never heard such a disgusting word in my life. Every time I've heard the word better since that incident, I've wanted to hurl. Or burst into tears. Or clobber Lily over the head with a large portrait.

But at least he's attractive, so having word spreading that I'm battling for him is sort of cool, like I am the heroine in an action/adventure romance who has to kill the evil witch who is trying to manipulate the handsome hero and steal him away from the do-gooder princess (me) with whom he truly belongs! Or, you know, whatever. Let's just pretend I didn't write any of that.

Because frankly… we're not fighting over him at all. Are we? I mean, I know I stormed into her dorm and chewed her out for snogging him and everything, but the real problem in our relationship is her lack of regard for my feelings! Just because, in this case, those feelings happened to be directed towards Scorpius does not mean we are fighting over him! He cannot be that important to me, I refuse to let it happen.

That's the right thing to do.

Right?

My head hurts. I don't ever want to cry again. I wonder if there is some sort of spell that can make one immune to tears. Just make my eyeballs all dry. That would be lovely, thanks.

Although, I suppose some good has come of it this time. Lily and I had a long chat; or rather, she chatted and I listened and basically just silently drowned in guilt. It was clear that she felt just wretched about our fight. She sought me out to apologize. Which wasn't nearly as satisfying as I had imagined it would be.

She cried, and I cried, and I really think she does feel awful about everything that happened. And so do I; I made sure to let her know that I didn't honestly think she was 'the stupidest and nastiest witch to ever be admitted to Hogwarts' (which is what I called her, rather harshly, in the heat of the argument).

She said that she never should have snogged Malfoy (obviously) and she should have just admitted that it was wrong; but the more guilty she feels the more she tries to justify her actions. Just go ahead and imagine a weepy little Lily saying this to you, and then going in for the kill: 'Oh, Rosie, I just miss you so much, and I hope you can forgive me and let me make it up to you; you have full permission to snog a boy I'm interested in. I won't be upset, I promise'.

Which, you know, no thanks, but it's the thought that counts. Could you be angry with her after that? Not to mention that she forgave me in a heartbeat for all of the cruel things I called her (such as, clingier than the Giant Squid and slimier than Troll bogeys… Yeah, don't mess with me. I get mean).

And it will be nice to have a friend again. I may talk tough, but it can be slightly lonely to have no one to talk to except for your stupid journal (no offence) who doesn't answer you because he… or is it she? I'll just call you it. Because it is most likely silently mocking you and laughing at your pain.

Though I definitely got revenge on 'friendly faced, rude Library girl'. Who, until I learn her name, which I will, will be known as FFRLG. Which suits her perfectly, I find.

As I was saying. I put my epic plan into action when I went to study in the Library (which is apparently her domain, her headquarters of evil) and saw her sitting there all high and mighty on her throne. Which was really just a normal chair. She shouldn't be so arrogant. So I quickly sat at her table and began to 'read' my dictionary. Which is easily the biggest book anyone in the world has ever seen ever.

Except I charmed it to look like some extremely mature novel. That was in Russian. Which most definitely showed her that I am an intelligent being. Could she read a dictionary-length Russian novel? I think not. That showed her. Though the withering glare she sent my way over her pathetically short looking (not to mention English… how uncultured.) livre (see, I can speak French, too) was a wee bit terrifying.

Whatever. She has clearly been shown that she is not the only intelligent being in this castle! I feel like laughing evilly. So I'm going to.

Okay, I did. I feel empowered. Do you think Malfoy finds that attractive in a woman? Not that I care, or anything. I just need to know how to not act around him. Wouldn't want to do anything to make him think I'm desirable.

That would just be terrible. Heh.

-Rose Weasley. The Girl who Charms Dictionaries Into Russian Novels. Which is Totally Normal.

A/N: Ooo, the first calling of Scorpius rather than Malfoy! They're practically married now. I couldn't have Rose and Lily stay fighting though, it was just so sad! They're buds!

Review if you've ever been unable to stay angry with someone, no matter how much you wanted to :)

Or if you haven't, because I have set a goal! Which is to get 100 reviews! So get typing and I will owe my eternal happiness to you. Thanks :)