Numb, Max tried to swallow past the growing lump in her throat as she listened to the dial tone. Her fingers fumbled as she flipped it closed. Then she shut her eyes as she tried to focus, ignoring the pain that clearly laced Logan's voice - the sudden abruptness as he cut her off.

Inhaling, then slowly exhaling, Max silently shifted Alec's weight and started to move. It didn't matter, she deserved whatever Logan dished out and whatever Alec did once he was… an inner voice whispered accusingly, Is he, Max, is Alec going to be all right, or did you just kill him like you killed Ben? Her hands gripped Alec's body harder in denial, her shame cried out No! even as she remembered the feeling of her fingers around Ben's neck, the loud crack. She felt the moment when Ben's life was gone, his head dropping limp, lifeless - by her hands. No! Max mentally screamed forcing the image away. Then started a mantra, the words slipping out to cut off the internal battle to berate herself. You're going to be okay Alec; you have to be. Logan needs you… Then Max admitted, and acknowledged, a truth she hadn't known until now. Though the words were whispered, they were no less true than if she would have broadcasted them around the world: I need you!

The unvarnished truth gave her the strength. She used that momentum to heave Alec's weight forward. She'd fix this; she had to, grunting in ascent as she dragged Alec's body forward, home to Logan.

*~*~*~

Logan didn't think his fear could have increased ten-fold, but that was before Max's call - collared? He didn't want to think about or remember the conversation, but his heart sank as he replayed Max's words, Can't, he's locked in a collar… I'm so sorry Logan, I… He had to cut her off because he knew, Logan knew Max was responsible. His gut twisted at the realization. Suddenly too many things bombarding him at once, things Logan had ignored; like the looks Max had cast Alec's way whenever she didn't think anyone was watching. The anger and jealousy was there, but Logan had dismissed it didn't want to see the potential. Had thought it was harmless, but having Alec wear a collar, that wasn't harmless.

Hearing the elevator, Logan rushed to the door, swinging it open.

Logan deflated when he saw Sam. Though he was grateful Sam was here ready to help Alec, Logan was anxious to have Alec here now. Logan was about to apologize, and moved aside to let Sam in, when they both heard a bang down the hall. Logan made the connection that Max had used the janitorial service elevator and rushed forward, Sam trailing behind him. As Logan turned the corner he halted when he saw Max dragging Alec's unconscious body.

Quickly moving to Max's other side, Logan immediately pulled Alec's arm over his shoulder. His arm wrapped around Alec's waist, gripping tight to relieve the majority of Alec's weight from Max.

Max didn't release her hold. Instead, together they worked to get Alec inside of Logan's apartment.

Sam held the door open as they passed through and told them to lay Alec down on the couch. Then he shut the door behind him.

Together they maneuvered Alec onto the couch. Shocked, nearly hovering, Logan took in Alec's appearance until he felt Sam's hand firmly on his shoulder, forcibly pulling him away.

"Logan, you have to back off, I need room to examine him."

Reluctantly, Logan pulled back. Physically aching, he left Alec's side, though his eyes never strayed from Alec's bruised face.

His eyes trailed the colorful damage decorating Alec's face: from lids swollen shut, down to the molted bruises of Alec's jaw, until Logan settled on the collar. The red light was blinking. From where he stood, he couldn't tell how long Alec had before the collar's latch would release.
Through gritted teeth, Logan asked, "how long?" He didn't clarify the question, only his harsh tone gave any indication as to whom he was questioning. When he didn't receive a quick response, Logan turned and eyed Max, demanding, "how long?"

Logan almost wanted to laugh as he saw Max flinch in fear, shame? He couldn't say, and at the moment, he didn't care. He wanted to lash out in anger. Furious, his hands curled into fists.

Max's caught his movement, her eyes widened as she watched his hands clench into a fist. Frowning, Max nodded as if she understood, and then straightened, facing him head on. "Five, maybe six, hours ago, it was set for 48 hours."

Logan's mouth fell open, gapping in shock. He didn't understand, couldn't comprehend how or why Max was suddenly a stranger.

Max stood her ground holding his gaze.

What amazed Logan was she was openly letting him see her sorrow, her guilt. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her to go to hell, but a moan irrupted behind him.

Immediately, Logan switched gears back to Alec. Turning, Logan hovered behind Sam. Hearing another groan, Logan tried to see Alec's face to see if he was awake, but Sam's body was blocking his view. This left Logan to stare at Alec's battered body.

Like Alec's face, his body was decorated in bruises.

Logan's breath hitched. It was difficult not to stare as Alec lay there exposed- shirtless, skin exposed showcasing the full extent of abuse he had suffered. His hand unclenched, aching to comfort Alec - another moan. Fearfully, Logan whispered, "Alec?"

Logan waited.

Alec didn't respond.

Sam stood and turned around.

Logan stopped breathing, fear sizing his emotions. His mind screamed, NO!

*~*~*~

Max swallowed, her own fear rising as Logan rigidly stood there expectantly, lost, his fear palpable. Internally her mind repetitively screamed, no! fearing the worse. Though Max would have welcomed crawling up into a ball weeping, berating herself for her actions, she couldn't turn off her enhanced senses. She was acutely aware of when Sam reached out to grasp Logan's shoulder, calling his name; of Sam's voice rising as he tried to shake Logan out of his self-imposed shock.

Finally, Sam's voice filtered in as Logan eventually heard him. "Logan, Logan…he's alive. Alec's alive."

Max wanted to exhale, rejoice in that fact, but she felt a hesitant pull of something Sam wasn't saying.

She didn't have long to wait as she heard, "Logan, I need you to leave, to give us some privacy."

Silently, Logan shook his head, but Sam's hand gripped his arm, telling him, "I'm not asking." Then, more gently, he added, "I need to do a full exam."

Max was sure Logan didn't get what Sam hinted at, but she did. Her eyes moved toward Alec's bare feet and up his legs until Logan and Sam's bodies blocked her view.

Swallowing, she remembered the utter shock she felt when she saw Alec being bodily thrown out of the club. Immobile, she had watched from the shadows as he tried to get up enough to just pull his pants all the way up. She had watched him struggled to get up, then fall, nearly crawling toward her direction.

Lost in the memory, she barely heard Sam's order.

"Max, take Logan into the kitchen, and keep him there. I'll call you when I'm done."

Logan didn't seem to understand, he just stared at Sam trying to hold his ground.

Sam's hand patted Logan's arm, "He's going to be alright, he's alive. I'll be as gentle and quick as I can. Go with Max, okay?"

Logan shook his head defiantly, and brokenly spoke. "Won't leave…"

Logan's words reverberated back to her own as they ricocheted inside Max's head, the pain ripped at her heart.

Alec's cough broke their stalemate, as his hand gripped Sam's pants to get his attention. Sam spun around, as Alec whispered, "Logan?"

Though his voice was low, too low for Logan to hear, with her enhancements, Max clearly heard Sam as he bent down to talk to Alec. "I'll let him stay if you insist, but I have to do a thorough exam… if you were torn."
Max didn't catch Alec's response, but whatever he said, or had silently mouthed, Sam agreed as he nodded and stood, moving to get out of Logan's way.

Logan didn't need to be prompted as he knelt at Alec's side. His hand lifted, then hovered as he was suddenly unsure if he could touch Alec anywhere without hurting him.

Alec took Logan's indecision away as he grasped Logan's hand within his own.

Max was unable to hear them, as Sam stood in front of her, his voice drowning out whatever Alec and Logan were saying.

"Max, hey you with me?"

Though she couldn't hear Alec and Logan, she had tuned Sam out, but he was demanding she listen to him now. Jerkily, she nodded.

"I'll need you to keep Logan in the kitchen until I'm done. Can you do that?"

She just stared at Sam. "He won't…"

"Make him. Right now, I'm more concerned about Alec than whatever Logan wants. Just put on your gloves and hold him down if you have to, okay?"

Slowly Max nodded, then pulled out her gloves and did as Sam ordered. Parched, she choked out, "is he…"

"Physically, he'll heal."

"If he needs any blood, I…"

Sam cut her off, shaking his head that it wasn't necessary. His hand lowered and encircled her arm, squeezing before he pulled away. Sam walked over to the bar by the sink, turning the water on. Opening his bag, he pulled out a pair of gloves, then soap, and started to thoroughly wash his hands.

Dazed, Max didn't move. Her eyes were riveted to Sam's movements. Max flushed, her hands hung limply at her side, encased in leather gloves. Her fingers flexed nervously as unwanted memories hit - of Manticore's training before she escaped, more specifically, of lectures and video demonstrations on sexual assault that supplied what kind of exam Sam was getting ready to do on Alec and why it was needed.

*~*~*~

Logan squeezed Alec's hand, words lodged in his throat. The bruises, cuts, and swelling were worse up close than it had been from a distance. His thumb caressed the back of Alec's hand. Then Logan hiccuped and sniffed when he saw Alec's attempt to reassure him.

It was obvious any movement was excruciating, still, Alec tried to smile.

Purposely, Logan overlooked the gross caricature of Alec's trademark grin. He understood what Alec was doing, and smiled for him, grateful that, through his pain, Alec was still Alec.

One eye was open a sliver, shifting as Alec watched his movements. Fingers squeezed Logan's hand. Alec's ruff voice broke through, "Crying make…" he coughed, clearing his dry throat, "makes you the girl."

His smile widened, and he laughed as he nodded. "Okay." His nose started to run. Sniffling again, Logan lifted his arm, wiping his nose across the sleeve. "Be the girl for you anytime."

Though swollen, Alec's lips twitched. "Don't forget that."

Under his hand, Logan felt Alec go still under his gaze. Then he sensed, more than saw, through the small slit that consisted of Alec's view. Logan knew, he felt, Alec's silently imploring that he listen. "What is it Alec?"

Cautiously, Alec's voice lowered in determination. "Don't tell everyone, but you, with you I can be the girl, lov bein… for yu" Alec's voice dropped, his words slurring, "Log…"

Gently, Logan leaned in and whispered, "Shhhh." Then he pulled back, calling out for Sam. Hearing a snap, Logan swiveled his head toward the direction he heard it and saw Sam standing by the sink.

Sam grabbed his bag and moved closer. "It's okay; I gave him a sedative, to help relax him."

As Sam moved, Logan's line of vision drifted down to Sam's free hand to see it was gloved.

Alec wanted him and squeezed his hand. Turning, Logan smiled as he replied, "did you hear that, Sam just gave you a little something to help you relax." Logan blinked against the blurred wetness to see Alec.

Alec's thumb caressed Logan's hand. "Need you to go, go with Max."

Inhaling, Logan couldn't answer and only shook his head in denial.

Alec huffed. "Have to, please! I don't want you to see. Please?"

Logan's chin trembled as he tried to shake his head again, but Alec's hand squeezed tighter, stopping him.

Alec declared. "My choice." Then Alec called Max. Alec's voice barely rose above a hairs breadth, but suddenly Max was right there. With obvious labor, Alec stated as he let go of Logan's hand, pushing him away, "Logan, go, be right here when Sam's done." Then Alec stared behind him, addressing Max, "you won't leave?"

Logan didn't hear Max's response, but whatever she said, or indicated, seemed to pacify Alec, as he nodded, reassured, and closed his eyes, before dismissing them with a "go."

Reluctantly, and because Max forcibly pulled him, Logan stood. Logan couldn't see as his vision was too blurred. Defeated, knowing Alec wasn't going to change his mind, Logan let Max guide him away from Alec's side. Moving toward the kitchen, they passed Sam.

He tried to reassure Logan by telling him that he'd call him as soon as he was done.

Logan nearly stumbled, but Max quickly adjusted and offered support moving him forward.

*~*~*~*

Once they reached the kitchen, Max guided and then pushed Logan to sit down. To distract herself, Max moved around the familiar kitchen, filling the kettle with water and placing it on the stove. Alec's question, the same question, "You won't leave me?" vibrated in her mind. It was the same one he had asked when this whole thing started, what she started, what she should have stopped it. The same one she repeated and used as a mantra in order to get Alec here.

Opening a cabinet and reaching for the cups, Max's hand shook. In mid-stretch she stopped, clenched her fist tight, then uncurled her fist as she shook though the tremor. Single-minded, Max focused to finish the task and carefully placed two cups, two saucers on the counter. Ignoring the small tremors that quaked through her body, she already knew it was over nerves, not a lack of tryptophan. Grabbing spoons, scooting the canisters of sugar and teabags closer to the cups, everything was ready; she only had to wait for the water to boil.

Turning around, Max was startled to face Logan's heated glare. She wanted to turn around, escape his intense stare, his judgment, but she couldn't. Instead, she held her ground, not in defiance, but in shame - especially now, knowing what her actions had cost Alec. She was ready and braced herself for the scorn, to accept Logan's anger, his hatred even, she deserved it.

Instead his eyes softened, his face crumbling, as Logan choked out, "why?" The edge and depth of his pain reverberated with that one word.

Lost, she opened and closed her mouth, panicked when no answer came. Her reasons were petty and juvenile; she was jealous, envious over Logan, his time with Alec. Sadly, it wasn't because she was in love with Logan. The reality and clarity of it now, in hindsight, only added to her guilt. What could she say? How could she make it better?

The truth was, she couldn't.

Hunching back against the counter, she broke contact and averted her eyes -waiting.
Max didn't have long to wait, and jumped when she heard, more than saw, Logan's fist slam against the table.

She heard the chair scrap as Logan stood. She looked up once she realized he was walking toward her, only stopping when he was in her face, leaving her nowhere to run.

Logan's voice was loud, unforgiving. "Look at me," he demanded as he stared her down.

Hesitantly, she did as he ordered. The heat of Logan's breath, his anger, washed over her face. Sacred by Logan's actions, Max pulled back further, hitting the knobs on the cabinets that jabbed into her back as she cowered flush against the counter.

He was careful not to touch skin to skin, but still his body hit aggressively against her, painfully shoving her back when there was no place to move.

Physically, it wasn't anything she couldn't handle; she knew that better than he did. But the fact was that it was Logan, that she had pushed him enough to willingly hit her in any form. Her mouth hung open in shock.

He didn't back down. "What you did, Max… You set Alec up. That collar, we both know it's not something you can just come by. You planned it - the whole thing…" It wasn't a question, but Logan's voice dropped a pinch, his disbelief still evident that she'd do that. That she'd betray them. Logan pulled back; shaking his head as he took several steps back. The anger was still there, the disbelief, but what came to the fore was pity - Logan pitied her.

Recognizing, that Max felt as if she had been sucker punched and slouched against the counter. She wanted to run, hide, crawl into herself. She must have given herself away because Logan's voice boomed loud, condemning, "You promised."

And she had, she had promised Alec, herself that she wouldn't leave. Jerkily, Max nodded, confirming that she'd keep her word and stay.

Max didn't think anything would be worse than Logan pitying her, but she was proved wrong when he sat down and looked directly at her, then through her, effectively dismissing her as if she wasn't there.

Behind her, the kettle whistled, demanding her attention. Slowly, Max turned around. She felt more broken than she had after she escaped Manticore, though it didn't matter. Nothing else mattered but her promise to Alec. This one she was determined to keep even if it killed her.

*~*~*~

Sam worked as quickly and efficiently to eliminate and relieve as much soreness as possible, pain that even the sedative couldn't mask.

Alec endured and didn't say a word only when Sam had asked a question. Thankfully, there was only minimal tearing.

After he cleaned Alec and gently applied ointment, Sam redressed Alec in his boxers, then covered his body with a blanket, encouraging him to sleep.

Even though he was rasping, Alec defiantly answered, "no!" Coughing, he then added, "not yet. Need Logan, Max."

"All right, you can talk to them briefly, but then I want you resting. That collar doesn't just make you weak; it's also blocking your usual healing process. It'll be longer, the pain…"

Alec interrupted by laughing, that quickly turned into a cough. "Nothing. I've had worse, trust me."

Physically, there was no physical evidence of prior abuse. Though, because Alec was an X5, Sam knew there wouldn't be, that Alec's body would have healed any trauma. From the way Alec handled himself during the exam: the way he moved preceding Sam's requests, the ease of his acceptance, the invasion of Sam's hands, the intimacy - Sam didn't need to feel faded scars to know the truth; it was Alec's responses that told him everything Sam needed to know.

Sam nodded, that he understood. "I still want you to rest." He waited for Alec to respond.

Alec looked up, questioningly, then nodded.

Pleased, Sam offered a smile. "Good. I'll go get you some water, and call them in."

*~*~*~

Abruptly, Logan stood when Sam entered, shoving the chair back as he did. "How is he?"

Sam nodded as he answered Logan. "He'll be all right. Be better and heal faster once the collar's off. I gave him a sedative, but he's fighting it. He wants to see you." Sam jerked his chin toward Logan, then turned as he also addressed Max, "and you."

Initially, Logan was taken aback to hear that Alec wanted to see Max. Then he didn't spare it any further thought as he rushed past Sam, making his way back to Alec; barely conscious that Max was following behind him.

Immediately, Logan dropped down on his knees in front of Alec. "Hey."

Alec was partially sitting up, his lips tilted to what Logan guessed was a smile as he returned a quiet, "hey."

Behind him he heard, Sam clearing his throat. "Here…" he spoke as he handed Logan a glass of cold water with a straw. "When you're done with your chit-chat, I suggest we move you into the bedroom so you can really rest."

Logan nodded as he took the glass. One arm went around Alec's back to offer support if he needed it as he held up the glass for Alec to sip. Quickly losing the battle to ignore empathic pains, Logan helplessly watched Alec's swollen lips purse around the straw, sucking in the cool water.

Emotionally drained and dehydrated, Logan swallowed against his dry throat, shakily stating, "Sam said you're going to be okay?"

Alec pulled away from the straw, his hand reached out and firmly gripped Logan's hand. "Always, okay."

Logan knew it was supposed to be cocky, Alec's way to reassure Logan, but it wasn't. He could see with his own eyes Alec wasn't okay.

Alec's squeezed his hand, emphasizing the point. His voice was more serious, "with you, I'm always okay."

Logan's eyes watered and he sniffled. He was determined not to cry, so instead, he laughed. It was more choked, coming out somewhere between a laugh and a cry, but Alec understood and smiled.

They didn't move, but stayed there until Logan realized Alec's eye had closed. It was obvious Alec was tired, he needed to sleep, to rest. Slowly, Logan shifted his intention to let Alec sleep.

Alec held his hand, his eye slowly opening before he said, "Max, need to talk to Max."

Logan didn't bother hiding his anger. "You don't have to, I know what happened. I know…"

Shaking the sleep away, Alec shook his head, "no! No you don't." Alec's eye darted behind him, then back. "Manticore, you don't, you'll never… It was my choice then and my choice now…"

Logan didn't know what to say, but seeing Alec's resolve Logan relented and he nodded in agreement, "Your choice." Though there was no way in hell was he leaving Alec alone, but Logan had agreed and pulled back just enough to shift to let Max in closer without losing contact with Alec.

Alec's hand squeezed his hand in approval, and then squeezed even harder as he used Logan as leverage to sit up some more.

Sam protested and cursed as Alec proceeded to sit up.

Though, in return, Alec addressed Sam's concern. "Almost done, then I'll rest, promise. Need to ask…"

Max was standing close. She wasn't close enough, not that he really wanted her anywhere near Alec, but he didn't want Alec to strain himself trying to talk to Max. Curtly, Logan ordered, "Max sit."

Alec didn't wait and turned to her, his voice just loud enough for Logan and Max to hear, but adequate to keep the volume down from Sam. "At Manticore, we did things in there, and even outside, that no one else would understand why." Alec paused, his gaze held steadily on Max.

From Logan's angle, he couldn't see Alec's expression when his eye was swollen shut. Logan could only judge by Alec's tone, his tenor tentative.

With each word, Alec treaded carefully as he continued to speak. "Out here, it's different. You kept your word, brought me back - am I a part of your unit? Do I have your back now?"

There was nothing to indicate Alec was holding his breath, but Logan felt the uncertainly, felt Alec crushing his fingers, waiting for Max's answer. They waited. He didn't hear anything, so Logan turned to see a Max he had never seen before.

Humble, tears running down her face, it was obvious she was choked up as she continually nodded, and eventually, squeaked out a "yes."

Logan didn't need to turn back to know that Alec smiled. He knew as Alec's hand eased, his thumb caressing over their laced fingers.

Feeling his stomach turn in turmoil, Logan offered, "okay, if you're done, we should move you into the bedroom."

"I can walk," Alec offered.

"No you can't." Not that he wanted her help, but Max was there and stronger than Sam. "Max?"

She nodded, then squatted as she took and lifted Alec's arm over her shoulder while she stood.

Logan had Alec's other side, and together, they easily walked him into the bedroom to lie down on the bed. Logan let go to pull the covers back as Alec sat on the edge and scooted in.

It was only from the couch to the bed, but Alec was already sweating over the exertion.

Sam knocked and popped his head in. "You're going to stay in bed and rest, now?"

Alec raised his fist giving a, thumbs up. "Scouts honor."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, as soon as you stop fighting the sedative, you'll find it easier to sleep - probably through the night. But, just in case, I left you another one and a couple of pain pills. That should be more than enough to get you through the night." Sam's face was solemn as he addressed both of them. "Also, if there's any excessive bleeding or anything darker than a light, rose color when you urinate, call me right away. I'll be by again first thing in the morning. You understand?"

They both nodded.

Pleased, Sam replied before he left the bedroom. "Good, I'll see you both in the morning."

At the bed of the bed, Max stood, visibly hesitant, waiting.

It was Alec who responded softly, "Better go; though let Sam have a look at your shoulder before he leaves. I'm gonna follow orders to sleep."

Max's lips pressed into a tight line and wobbled as she tried to get a hold of herself, the corners of her mouth lifting into a small smile.

"And Max, will I see you tomorrow?"

This time with less hesitation, Max nodded, and turned closing the door behind her as she left.

Logan hadn't known Max was hurt, and frankly, he didn't care; he was still too upset over her actions. Still, he helped Alec ease back, fluffed extra pillows so he could sleep. Then he climbed up on the other side of the bed, settling in to next to Alec, ready to play guard sentry. Logan's eyes drifted down toward the collar's blinking light. Logan stared as the light blinked over and over, he couldn't help it as his emotions flared with anger.

Alec turned and rolled toward him as he quietly demanded, "what?"

Logan shook his head, then looked back at Alec, the disbelief that Alec was going to let Max off the hook after everything she did, clearly showed on his face. "You're just gonna let her…"

Alec snapped. "Don't! If you need to, remember all the things I did."

Angry, Logan blurted out, "but it's not the same, it wasn't an order from Manticore, she had a choice…"

Audibly, Alec sighed. "I don't expect you to understand, but no she didn't." Alec paused. His hand caressed over Logan's face to make sure Logan was really paying attention - listening. "We left Manticore, but Manticore didn't leave us. We're not like you, Logan, most of us, we want to be, but we're not. We never will. Can you live with that?"

Manticore, it was still all about Manticore, and it would probably always be about Manticore. Alec was right, the question was could he live with it? He didn't have to seriously mull it over, as his mind screamed yes, yes! he could. Then he pulled Alec's hand up toward him, kissed the back of it, then let go, unlacing their fingers to turned it over to place another kiss on the inside of Alec's palm. Logan leaned into Alec, huskily whispering, "yes, as long as I have you. I love you, always!"

Alec reached out, his fingers gently danced over Logan's lips. "Good, because I love you too, won't live without you."

Logan clasped Alec's hand, their fingers intertwined as he declared. "Never going to happen. Now, shhh, you need to sleep, close your eyes. I'll be here, not going anywhere- ever." Logan watched as Alec obeyed and closed his eye. Then he lay facing Alec, listening to Alec's breaths taper as he drifted off to sleep.

FiN~