"Ryuzaki has been writing about Misa."
Hmm… I did leave the essay sitting out—but it is plain printer paper, and there are no flashy pictures, so I'd say a 30—27.2% chance she knows about my essay. And within that about 8.5% chance she could understand it… "I have no idea what you are talking about, Misa."
"Misa saw this," she brandished the papers emphatically, "over by Light's work-station. Ryuzaki is a sick pervert, writing about Misa."
If this continues, 24% chance of getting any work done whatsoever. And a 76.5% chance I can explain it all away. "I am sure you are mistaken, Misa. What is this paper you're talking about?"
"Ryuzaki left his perverted essay out so that Misa's Light would read it," she accused.
"Considering the current situation—" L began, lifting his handcuff.
"Misa isn't done yet," she interrupted. Were it not for the sound-cancelling earmuffs that Light was wearing for his audio analysis of Yotsuba executives, she might have dragged him into her one-sided argument already. "Ryuzaki left his perverted essay out so that Misa's dear Light would read it. Misa thinks that Light finally got fed up with the way Ryuzaki is always looking at Misa, and told him to stop! But then Ryuzaki made up some essay to try and explain it all away. And then, at the end, Ryuzaki says that his perversion is all Misa's fault!"
L had been multitasking during the last speech. He was reevaluating many beliefs about Misa, updating them with the realization that if an issue had to do with Misa's egotism or infatuation with Light, her mental capacity increased tenfold—further case studies would show the exact percentages. Also, he'd gone over the essay several times in his head to search for arguments. And finally he had been taking shrewd stock of his accuser—black Chuck Taylor high top tennis shoes, only half laced; fishnet stockings followed by a very, very, very short black suede miniskirt; multiple silver rings on several fingers, fingerless gloves of matching fishnet material; and finally a corset of some of the most complicated instruction L had ever seen—there appeared to be at least five different places where panels were held together only by ribbon (though closer inspection revealed that the gaps between panels had some extremely sheer, black material over her skin) with another lace-up section over the bust, which Misa left untied with the ribbons dangling. The places where the corset had solid fabric, it was scarlet with a complex black lace overlay.
These thought processes completed in time for L to hear Misa's final sentence of accusation.
"I thought that you, as a celebrity, would not want to be credited in a psychological analysis essay," L said. "It would give people different ideas about you, and whatever the validity or results, it is likely that certain pornographic websites or magazines would attempt to contact you with offers for work. I can put your name in for co-author credit if you desire."
Misa threw the papers down in disgust, grumbled incoherently, high-pitched, and loudly, and then stomped off towards the elevator. L picked the papers up one at a time, laid them out side by side, and began making corrections he found necessary in his mental rewrite during Misa's theory speech.
After a while, Light removed the earmuffs.
"What have you found?" L asked.
"There are a few whose voice patterns change when they begin talking about Kira as compared to their voice patterns on other topics, but the differences so far are negligible. This could do little more than tell us who are the best at faking."
"Every bit of information helps," L answered. The rewrite was technically complete, yet it seemed to lack something important…"
"What was Misa here about?"
With Light's level of situational awareness—72.32% chance that he already knows. "To see you, but she was sidetracked by the need to critique my essay," said L as he ended the second draft of his essay with a special thanks to his lovely research partner. The phrase made him smile for several reasons.