Love Makes You Do the Wacky
(RATED M; Q/P/R/F, P/R)
CHAPTER II- Rachel Berry – Inner Monologue, number I; Puck v Noah
Noah Puckerman and I have been dating for two months. I call him "Noah" because I like the sound of it better than "Puck". Puck just sounds so callow. It took him awhile to get used to it, but soon he realized that he can't make me do anything. He's still his smug self, but only when he's around others. When we're alone, he's still flirty and thrives off his hormones, but he's sweet. He carries my bag, brings me a slushie every morning instead of throwing them at me, and he stands up for me. He's considerate, chivalrous, and caring.
He still gets girls coming up to him, and sometimes they have the audacity to come up to him when he's talking to me! They flirt with him, twirling their hair and popping their gum. But he shrugs them off and turns back to me. They reply with a snarky comment and flounce off. He doesn't even stare at them as they walk off! We haven't gotten that far, only to second base. He still presses me for sex when he's feeling especially horny, but when I tell him no he stops. We almost went all the way one night. He got about a centimeter inside of me before I pushed him off. I told him that I was sorry, that I "just couldn't do it." He said it was fine, he held me close and kissed my hair. He whispered sweet nothings into my ear. I just couldn't go through with it because it irked me that I've only met his mother once and that he still hasn't told me that he loved me. I can't give myself to someone who hasn't proven to me that I was more than just another roll in the hay. I understand that he has intimacy issues due to his father leaving, his mother hardly being around because she has to work three jobs just to support her family. But I also feel that there's something he's not telling me. Something that is making him hard on the inside. A secret that's killing him slowly. I couldn't live with him so distressed, so dead inside.