Title: Dancing With the Demons, Ep.
1 (Part 3)
Author: redsrule1
Fandoms:
Buffy, Angel, Dancing With the Stars
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I
did not make up the characters, shows, the Waltz, or the Cha Cha. I
just borrow them. However, I can teach you any of the moves
portrayed in the show.
Pairings: Gen
Characters: Just about
everyone
Author's Notes: Thanks as always to yourlibrarian
for beta-ing above and beyond the call
Summary: Nine couples, ONE
winner, and you decide who will be the champion!
And now, back to
Dancing
With The Demons
Episode One, Part Three
Short, four-bar version of the show's theme music plays as we return from the break.
LORNE
And we're back, to Dancing With
The Demons, the show where you will help decide the
winners! Four
couples have gone already and now we're ready for
couple number five! They are a lawyer and a godmother, and we're
gonna see if they can Cha Cha! It's Charles Gunn and Cordelia
Chase!
Cut to montage of
clips.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GUNN
Interview
Well,
I was glad to see Cordy again, and she was glad to see
me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
GUNN enters a dance studio where CORDELIA is waiting for
him.
CORDELIA
Smiling broadly, and rushing up and
giving him a hug.
Gunn! Oh my gawd! I can't believe it! Are you
my partner?
GUNN
Looks like. You're the real
Cordelia, right? You're not some demon gonna give birth to a
hell-goddess or something--
CORDELIA gives GUNN a quick smack on the back of his head, then breaks the embrace and turns to lead him onto the dance floor.
CORDELIA
Okay, let's get
busy. We've got lots of work to do if we're gonna win this thing.
Turns to face GUNN, eyes him disapprovingly up and down. Went back
to that street wardrobe, did you? Well, we'll have to fix
that.
GUNN
Walks to the camera and sticks his face
in the lens, taking up the whole screen.
It's really
her.
CORDELIA
From off screen
I heard
that!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GUNN
Interview
I
don't know what it is about this competition, but it hasn't even
started yet and Cordy is in full bitch
mode.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
CORDELIA and GUNN practicing in a dance
studio.
CORDELIA
No. Watch me. You have to walk
sexy like this.
CORDELIA takes a few steps away from GUNN,
swinging her hips sharply in a Latin fashion with a sexy pout on her
face.
GUNN
I'm not poutin' like that.
CORDELIA
So
I've noticed. Now shut up. Here's you.
CORDELIA thrusts her
crotch forward and walks with her legs wide, arms swinging limply at
her sides with a mock sneer on her face.
GUNN
I
don't walk like that.
CORDELIA
If only it were that
good! Now do it sexy like I showed you first.
GUNN
I
was walkin' just fine when I came in
here.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
CORDELIA
Interview
I'm
thrilled that Gunn is my partner. I mean, I could have gotten stuck
with somebody lame like -- like -- Wesley. Turns her head to
look off camera. He is? Oh. You're gonna edit that out, right?
Anyway, Gunn's great, but we have a lot of work to do. A lot
of
work.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
CORDELIA and GUNN practicing in dance
studio.
CORDELIA
Cha Cha is a sexy Latin dance. You
gotta move your hips.
GUNN
I am moving my
hips!
CORDELIA
Rolling her eyes I pity your
girlfriends if you think that was moving your
hips.
GUNN
Ain't had no complaints
yet.
CORDELIA
Yeah, well I'm complaining, macho boy.
Now move! Shake your booty!
GUNN
Skinny-ass white
girl wants me to shake my booty. You ain't even got nothin' to
shake!
CORDELIA
Oh, Mr. "I think Fred's hot"
thinks my ass isn't curvy
enough!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
CORDELIA
Interview
I
mean, he's great and all, but Gunn couldn't even spell the
word "Fashion." I mean, Wolfram & Hart put him in some
nice suits, but instead of all that opera, maybe they coulda put a
little more GQ sense in his brain. This show is all about
style, and if there's anything I'm all about, it's style! I'm not
"Queen C" for
nothing!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
CORDELIA and GUNN looking over a rack of dance costumes.
CORDELIA pulls a black sequined dance shirt off the rack and holds it
up to GUNN.
GUNN
I'm not wearin'
that.
CORDELIA
You sing Gilbert and Sullivan but
you're too good to wear a sequined dance shirt? Besides, you'll wear
what I tell you to wear, mister. But you're right. You're not wearin'
this. It's too gaudy. Maybe you can be
taught.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
CORDELIA
Interview
I
am going to be queen of the ballroom, too. And if any of those other
girls thinks differently, well, she's in for a rude
awakening.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GUNN
Interview
Me-ow.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
montage ends
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Cha Cha: Charles Gunn
and Cordelia Chase!
CORDELIA, wearing a revealing two-piece gold Latin dress with a long, sheer slitted skirt, and GUNN, wearing a sleek black latin shirt and pants, stand back to back in the middle of the dance floor, striking similar poses with hands on hips. GUNN's pose is very macho, standing tall with feet wide and chest out. CORDELIA's pose is more "come hither," with knee bent to show plenty of leg through the slit in her skirt and head turned to look over her shoulder.
"I Like It Like That" by the Blackout Allstars begins to play.
GUNN and CORDELIA walk away from one another, CORDELIA with a sexier Latin walk and GUNN with more of a strut. They clap their hands along with the claps in the music, encouraging the audience to do the same. GUNN and CORDELIA continue to walk in opposite circles around the floor until they meet in the middle, where, without stopping, they grasp each other's forearms and CORDELIA does a backbend into a roll, swings down and around and ends standing, where GUNN snaps her into a standard dance hold
They move into a series of standard Cha Cha steps. CORDELIA does lots of turns, while GUNN strikes lots of macho poses.
As the song nears the end, GUNN spins CORDELIA around and she stops with her back to him. She slithers down his body until she reaches a crouched position, where GUNN takes her raised hand and spins her as he walks around her. Then he gives her a sharp pull to snap her back up to her feet to face him, and they look deep into each other's eyes as the song ends.
The CROWD cheers as GUNN and CORDELIA walk over to LORNE, who is standing in front of the Judges' Table.
LORNE
Woo! All right, kiddies, I
like it like that, too! But I don't get a vote, so let's see how the
judges liked it! Drusilla?
DRUSILLA
You were a bad
boy, Charles. You made your partner do all the hard work while you
just stood there reciting your lessons. Shame, shame! In the corner!
In the corner!
LORNE
Lucid as ever, Dru. Okay, Wes?
Maybe you can shed some light on what your associate just
said.
WESLEY
Gladly, Lorne. --And I'll try not to be
lame.
CORDELIA flashes her best "I'm-too-cute-for-you-to-hate" smile. GUNN glares at her pointedly.
WESLEY cont.
Yes, well. I believe that
Drusilla is referring to the fact that, although he performed
admirably, Gunn was obviously having some difficulty remembering the
routine, forcing Cordelia to pull him through several of the moves.
CROWD boos. WESLEY looks at them, then back at LORNE. Why do they
always boo me? She said it, too!
LORNE
Yeah, but
they could understand you, Wes. Oz, what say you?
OZ
I
understood her. CROWD boos. Hey! I'm just sayin'. But she's right.
And you need to move your hips more.
CORDELIA
Smacks
GUNN's chest. See? I told you!
LORNE
LORNE motions
GUNN and CORDELIA off screen. As they leave, GUNN rubs his chest and
mouths "ow". You two head on backstage and see Illyria
while these three see if they can come up with some crowd-friendly
scores, okay?
WESLEY
I'm simply judging them
according to the rules. I'm not here to win any popularity
contests.
LORNE
And that's a good thing.
Illyria?
Cut to backstage, where DARLA and LINDSEY sit on the
couch in the background.
GUNN and CORDELIA stand beside ILLYRIA in
the foreground.
ILLYRIA
Charles Gunn, you seem
changed. I knew you to be a strong warrior who made his foes show
their fear. Why can you not attack this dance the way I have seen you
attack many demons?
CORDELIA
Yeah! See? I like
her.
ILLYRIA
There is no honor in holding back and
forcing those weaker than you to sacrifice
themselves.
CORDELIA
Yeah-- wait a minute, sister,
who says I'm weak? I was a higher being!
ILLYRIA
That
which is a step up from a spore is still little greater than the
slime from whence it came.
CORDELIA
Oh, I'll show
you slime--
GUNN
Stepping in between ILLYRIA and
CORDELIA Okay, hold on now. I thought we were discussing how lowly I
am.
ILLYRIA
It will be for the three judges to
determine how lowly you are now.
Cut to Judges' Table.
ANNOUNCER
Will the judges please reveal
their scores? Drusilla?
DRUSILLA
Seven. CROWD
groans.
ANNOUNCER
Wesley
Wyndam-Price?
WESLEY
Seven. Smattering of groans
and boos.
ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?
OZ
Seven.
CROWD boos.
Cut to backstage.
ILLYRIA
You
have received a score of twenty-one, which ties you for second place
with the other male who could not hold his own. And with Glorificus
at the bottom, this scoring puzzles and annoys me. What makes you
believe that you deserve to fare better than a
god?
CORDELIA
Smiling. 'Cause I'm a
queen.
GUNN
And a bitch.
CORDELIA glares at GUNN.
GUNN cont.
Hey, you're the one who takes
pride in that.
CORDELIA
Leading GUNN off camera.
Don't press your luck, Lowly Slime Boy.
ILLYRIA
I
now give you leave to return your attention to Lorne.
Cut to LORNE
LORNE
To DIRECTOR, off camera I think
that's about the best we're gonna get. To camera Coming up next,
she's been around many a block and danced many a dance. But he's
the teacher. Can he show this vampire royalty some new steps, or will
she be the one to take him to new places? It's Darla and
Lindsey MacDonald!
Cut to montage of
clips.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LINDSEY
Interview
Oh,
Darla's a great partner. Very dramatic. She can certainly play the
part that the character of the dance demands. We just had to overcome
some -- bad
habits.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
DARLA and LINDSEY practicing in a dance studio. They
stop.
LINDSEY
Okay. That was pretty good. Let's try
it again, but this time, use your heels to--
DARLA
Eying
the cameraman.
Let's take a break. I'm hungry.
LINDSEY
Let's
go one more ti--
DARLA
Approaching the camera with
a sexy look on her face.
Hey, handsome. Let's go for a walk.
A cross, held up by the cameraman, appears at the bottom of the screen.
DARLA
Oh,
sh--
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LINDSEY
Interview
Not
to mention some poor dance
technique.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
DARLA and LINDSEY practicing in a dance studio. They
stop.
LINDSEY
Like I said before, you need to step
with the heel of your foot, not the toe.
DARLA
Okay,
Junior, when I learned to Waltz, that's how it was
done.
LINDSEY
That's not how it's done any
more.
DARLA
Who the hell changed it?
LINDSEY
I
don't know. Maybe Arthur Murray. Maybe Fred Astaire.
DARLA
I
knew I should have eaten him when I had the chance. I guess that
explains why he picked Ginger Rogers that
day.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DARLA
Interview
What
do I think of Lindsey? He's quaint. He keeps trying not to insult
me by pointing out my
age.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
DARLA and LINDSEY in a dance studio.
LINDSEY
Waltz
is the only dance you learned? Weren't you around when all the other
ones were inven-- uh,
popular?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DARLA
Interview
I
have to admit that I'm still disoriented. It's rather
disconcerting to be resurrected… twice. But at least the
last time they brought me back, things still made some sense. This
time, I come back and what do I find? TV producers entering me in a
dance competition --which, by the way, I never agreed to do. And not
only am I in this competition, so is Angelus. Don't know how they
managed to convince him to participate. --But then, they didn't,
did they? That's a shame, because Angelus would have been a much
more interesting competitor than Angel. Even paired with that
lawyer, he's not going to have what it takes to win. Then
they tell me Spike has a soul now, too, and he's dancing with
a Slayer. What is it with souls and Slayers? Of course, I understand
they'll have plenty of ditzy, self-righteous, "Chosen ones"
to choose from these days. Shakes head and sighs sadly. What is
this world coming to? And I thought Drusilla was supposed to be the
lunatic fringe of this group flicks her hair back. And now
she's a dance judge? That's some inspired selection on the
part of the producers. Smiles mysteriously at the camera.
Me,
Angel, Spike. Which one of us will she vote for, I
wonder?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
montage ends
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Waltz: Darla and Lindsey
McDonald!
DARLA and LINDSEY stroll arm in arm onto the dance floor. DARLA is dressed in a light pink ruffled dress with hoop skirt, matching lace gloves, and carries a matching parasol. LINDSEY wears Morning Dress with a grey morning coat, vest, and ascot. He wears a matching pink carnation in his buttonhole.
"Fascination" by Nat King Cole plays.
LINDSEY releases DARLA from his arm and bows to her, inviting her to dance. DARLA curtsies, and places her right hand elegantly into his left. LINDSEY steps toward her to put his right arm around her back, but DARLA drops her parasol and puts her now-free hand to her mouth in shock and bats his arm away. He takes her right hand in both of his, and nods to her, assuring her that it's perfectly acceptable to dance in this manner nowadays. DARLA smiles broadly and grabs LINDSEY in dance position herself.
The begin to twirl around the floor in various standard Waltz moves.
LINDSEY rolls DARLA out into a series of quick turns, then catches her around the waist and leans in for a kiss. DARLA turns her head away coyly, and they return to Waltzing.
After a few more steps, LINDSEY repeats the roll-out and catch, but again DARLA turns away from his kiss.
As the music nears its final crescendo, LINDSEY repeats the roll-out again, but this time he dips DARLA, supporting her on his left arm. He strikes a nice line as he leans over her to find a trapped and now quite willing DARLA already puckered. He gives her a quick peck on the lips and starts to stand up, but DARLA reaches up, grabs his head, and pulls it back down for a better smooch.
They stand up, straighten their clothes, and LINDSEY picks up DARLA's parasol and hands it back to her. He offers her his right arm, she takes it, and they walk off the floor as the music ends.
The CROWD cheers as DARLA and LINDSEY walk over to LORNE in front of the Judges' Table.
LORNE
Pretty as a picture,
kids.
DARLA
No one's called me a kid for a very long
time.
LINDSEY
She's hardly a--
DARLA
Thank
you, Lindsey.
DRUSILLA
Grandmama is very very old.
Much older than you.
DARLA
Yes, thank you
too, Drusilla.
LINDSEY
I just meant that you should
treat her with respect because she's
a--
DARLA
Grandmother!
LINDSEY
A
lady.
DARLA
Don't defend me, Lindsey. I don't need
it and you're not very good at it.
LORNE
Anyway,
Oz, what can you tell us about their Waltz?
OZ
I was
kinda enjoying the previous discussion. The Waltz was fine. Darla
needs to use a heel lead and move out more. CROWD
groans.
LORNE
Fair enough. Dru?
DRUSILLA
Mummy
dances so lovely. I remember when we wore clothes like that. And we
had fun and munch munch munch all through Germany.
LORNE
Heh.
I'm just gonna assume you're talking about strudel. Wesley, how about
you?
WESLEY
That was indeed a lovely Waltz. CROWD
cheers. WESLEY looks at them and smiles. But Oz is right. Your Waltz
needs to move more and I don't think I saw more than a couple of heel
leads. CROWD boos. WESLEY frowns.
LORNE
Couldn't
leave well enough alone, huh, Wes? Okay, you two go on backstage and
see Illyria.
Cut to backstage, where CLEM and BUFFY sit on the couch behind ILLYRIA. DARLA and LINDSEY approach and stand beside her.
ILLYRIA
Eyeing DARLA up and down, and nodding
an acknowledgement. Half-breed.
DARLA
Returning
ILLYRIA's scope and nod. God-king.
LINDSEY
Illyr--
ILLYRIA
Snaps
a hand up, palm out, to stop LINDSEY from speaking. It seems we have
an understanding. Is the triumvirate prepared to pass
judgement?
Cut to Judges' Table.
ANNOUNCER
The
judges have prepared their scores. Drusilla?
DRUSILLA
Eight.
CROWD applauds
ANNOUNCER
Wesley
Wyndam-Price?
WESLEY
Seven. Smattering of groans
and boos.
ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?
OZ
Seven.
CROWD groans.
Cut to backstage.
ILLYRIA
A
score of twenty-two puts you into second place. This is acceptable to
me. Perhaps next time you will improve upon your
performance.
DARLA
You can count on
it.
LINDSEY
Well, Illyria, I think
we--
ILLYRIA
Holding up the hand to stop LINDSEY
again. You may take your leave now. To camera And you may take
your leave, as well.
Cut to LORNE
LORNE
At
least we know the show's never gonna run long because of her. Next
up, we have another Slayer. Can she teach Cha Cha to demons as well
as she can slay them? Let's find out. It's Clem and his partner,
Buffy Summers!
Cut to montage of
clips.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CLEM
Interview
When
I saw that Buffy was going to be my partner, I was so excited! I
never dreamed they'd give me such a great partner as
Buffy!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BUFFY opens the door to enter a dance studio and sees the camera crew as well as CLEM inside The studio clock reads 9:00, and she checks her watch to make sure she has the correct time.
CLEM
Waving
excitedly to BUFFY
Buffy! So good to see you! How are you? How's
Dawn?
Hurries over to her and starts shaking her
hand.
BUFFY
Um, we're good, Clem. It's good to see
you, too. What are you doing here?
CLEM
Oh, nothing,
nothing. Waiting for my dance partner.
BUFFY
Yeah,
me too.
CLEM
Really? Hey, that's, that's nifty. Did
they tell you who your partner was?
BUFFY
No.
You?
CLEM
No. Well, I guess we'll just wait for
them. So what have you been up
to?
--------------------------------------------------------------
BUFFY
Interview
I
have to admit that Clem wouldn't --um, we'll let's just say he
wouldn't have been the first guy I'd ask to the Sadie Hawkins dance.
Or the second… or the
tenth.
--------------------------------------------------------------
CLEM and BUFFY sitting at a table in the ballroom. The studio clock now reads 10:05.
CLEM
Wow, they're awfully late. What
time is it?
CLEM turns his back on BUFFY to look at the clock. BUFFY drops her head onto the table but quickly picks it up again with a just-a-little-too-enthusiastic smile on her face before CLEM turns to look back at her.
CLEM cont.
Hey, you
know what? I think that we're partners! Wouldn't that be
fun?
BUFFY
That's…great,
Clem!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
BUFFY
Interview
What
I hate about this whole thing is the the whole "who's gonna be
my partner thing." It's like in 8th grade gym class when you do
square dancing for a week and you're all like, "Ooh, I hope I
get Ford for my partner." I'm so past all
that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
CLEM and BUFFY walking through simple steps. They
stop.
CLEM
Walking away from BUFFY, towards a door
to the kitchenette. I'm gonna grab a glass of water. Can I get you
anything?
BUFFY
To CLEM as he leaves the room. No,
thanks, I'm fine. She walks to the camera and grabs it with both
hands, as if grabbing someone by the shoulders. She sticks her face
right in the lens and whispers. Why couldn't I get somebody just a
little less-- less-- bulky? I mean, I have superstrength but it's
still going to look really obvious if I'm hauling him around the
dance
floor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
BUFFY
interview
Don't
get me wrong, I love him to death, but… he's not what I…
expected. But then he kind of surprised
me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
BUFFY and CLEM stand in the dance studio.
BUFFY
All
right, now this step is called the "Alabama." --Or "Ali
Baba." --Or something.
CLEM
Do you mean the
"Alemana?"
BUFFY
Um, yeah. That's it. How
did you know?
CLEM
Oh, I watch that "Championship
Ballroom Dancing" on PBS every year. I love it. It goes like
this, right? Performs an intricate Cha Cha move flawlessly as BUFFY
watches, mouth
agape.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
CLEM
interview
I
love the dancing. I've never been formally trained before, but I
always loved to dance at home. Don't tell Spike, but that's how I
broke his television once. There was a dance show on and I got a
little carried away.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
BUFFY
interview
I
think we've got a shot at
this!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
montage ends
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Cha Cha: Clem and Buffy
Summers!
BUFFY, wearing a short, yellow dress and looking like a teenager at a party sits on the stairs at the end of the dance floor.
"Sex Bomb" by Tom Jones plays.
CLEM, wearing tight leather pants and a vest, struts onto the floor a-la Mick Jagger. His ears flap rhythmically as he moves his head forward and back in time to the music and his own steps. Hands on hips like Mick, he struts up to stand, feet wide in a macho pose, in front of BUFFY.
BUFFY looks at CLEM and laughs, brushing him off with a wave of her hand. Undaunted, CLEM snaps his fingers and points at the floor in front of him, demanding that BUFFY dance with him.
BUFFY stops laughing and stands up to face CLEM. CLEM grabs her hands and shoves her backward, pitching her onto her heels, off balance. BUFFY slides between CLEM's legs and CLEM, not letting go, picks one foot up and lets the force of BUFFY's slide swivel him around. At the end of her slide, BUFFY pops up and, since CLEM is still holding her hands, whirls around and they end up standing face to face.
CLEM leads BUFFY into various Cha Cha moves, both his hips and ears swaying in time to the music. There are lots of good Cha Cha spins and poses.
As the song crescendos toward its end, CLEM skillfully dances BUFFY back to the stairs and sits her back down. He struts off the floor again and BUFFY looks longingly after him, fanning herself with her hand as the music ends.
CROWD erupts into cheers and squees. CLEM trots back onto the dance floor with a big grin on his face, takes BUFFY's hand to help her up, and, placing her on his right arm, escorts her to stand beside LORNE.
LORNE
Hoo-wee!
CROWD continues applauding, and CLEM acknowledges them with lots of quick nods and thank-yous. BUFFY looks at the CROWD and smiles, nodding her own thank-you.
LORNE cont.
I don't think I need to add
anything to that. Wes, how about you?
WESLEY
Clem,
Buffy, that was the best dance I've seen tonight. CROWD
cheers.
CLEM
Licking his lips nervously and
nodding earnestly Thank you. Thank you.
LORNE
High
praise indeed. Don't say anything more. Oz?
OZ
Ditto.
CLEM
Still
licking and nodding Thank you. Thank you.
LORNE
You,
Oz, you can say more. Oz shrugs. Nothing, huh? Okay,
Dru?
DRUSILLA
You're a little dog nipping at the
goddess' heels. Woof! Take her for a run around the block, you might
catch her!
CLEM
Nodding Thank you, thank you.
That's great. Thank you.
LORNE
Looking quizzically
at CLEM If you say so. Motioning them off camera You two go have
yourselves a nice, surreal chat with Illyria. To camera The judges
liked their Cha Cha. Did they like it enough to put Clem and Buffy in
the lead? We'll find out, when Dancing With The Demons
returns!
Short, four-bar theme music plays to the break.