Title: Dancing With the Demons, Ep. 2 (Part 1)
Author: redsrule1
Fandoms: Buffy, Angel, Dancing With the Stars
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I did not make up the characters, shows, the Rumba, or the Quickstep. I just teach how to do them.
Pairings: Gen
Characters: Just about everyone
Author's Notes: Thanks to my super-beta, yourlibrarian.
Summary: Nine couples, ONE winner, and you decide who will be the champion!

Music strikes a low chord. Clips from the previous episode are shown with the ANNOUNCER's voice over.

ANNOUNCER
Last week had everything! There was romance!

DARLA and LINDSEY dancing in their nineteenth century costumes.

ANNOUNCER cont.
Violence!

ILLYRIA throws microphone through the set wall.

ANNOUNCER
Controversy!

ANGEL looks sternly at LILAH who is wearing a schoolgirl costume.

ANNOUNCER
Sex appeal!

SEBASSIS licks his thumb and "smooths back" his horn.

ANNOUNCER
And a surprise leader!

CLEM struts onto the dance floor like Mick Jagger.

ANNOUNCER
And we're just getting started! What will happen next? Find out, on DANCING WITH THE DEMONS!

Cue theme song, video introductions of all nine couples. Then the camera pans live across the eight remaining couples standing on the stage.

ANNOUNCER
Live, from Hollywood! This is DANCING WITH THE DEMONS!

Music ends. Close shot of LORNE and ILLYRIA.

LORNE
Welcome back to DANCING WITH THE DEMONS! I'm Lorne!

ILLYRIA
Again? Are they deficient? Do we-- cocks her head to one side and holds a hand up to her ear. There are voices.

LORNE
And that's Illyria--

ILLRYIA
Distractedly God-king of the Primordium.

LORNE
--who is coming to grips with the new transmitter in her ear. Last week we said goodbye to our first couple, if they can be called that. After this episode we will say goodbye to another. Who will it be? No one can yet say.

DRUSILLA
I can. It will be microphone cuts off.

LORNE
Heh. Anyway, tonight, each couple will demonstrate why they think they should continue to the next round with their proficiency at either the Rumba or the Quickstep! And starting us off tonight with the Rumba is Darla and Lindsey!

Cut to montage.
---------------------------------------------------

ANNOUNCER
Last time, the judges liked Darla and Linsey's Waltz but felt there was something missing!
-------------------------------------------------

Episode Clip
DARLA and LINDSEY stand with LORNE in front of the the Judges' Table.

OZ
The Waltz was fine. Darla needs to use a heel lead and move out more.
--------------------------------------------------

ANNOUNCER
But Darla vowed that this week would be different!
-----------------------------------------------------

Episode Clip
DARLA and LINDSEY stand backstage with ILLYRIA.

ILLYRIA
Perhaps next time you will improve upon your performance.

DARLA
You can count on it.
--------------------------------------------------------

LINDSEY
Darla seems a little more into it this week.
----------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
DARLA and LINDSEY practicing in a dance studio. They stop. LINDSEY bends over, breathing hard, obviously tired.

LINDSEY
Okay, that was good. Let's take five.

DARLA
That wasn't good! Let's do it again!
------------------------------------------------------------

DARLA
Interview
I can't really say I gave it my all last week. And I think the results reflected that.
---------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
DARLA and LINDSEY stand in a dance studio.

LINDSEY
We did fine last week. We got a 22 from the judges, and the voters kept us out of the bottom two.

DARLA
We did not do "fine." We were fourth!

LINDSEY
Out of nine. As long as we're not ninth, we're good.

DARLA
We are not good. Both of those trampy Slayers beat us. Spike beat us, for god's sake. Angel beat us!

LINDSEY
Yeah, but we beat five other couples.

DARLA
Scoffs. Humans and demon wannabes. Did you hear me when I said that Angel beat us? Angel? Not Angelus? My god, he's not even a real vampire and he beat us.

LINDSEY
We beat Harmony.

With vampiric speed, DARLA grabs LINDSEY's throat.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

LINDSEY
Interview
We'll do all right this week. We know who to play to now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
DARLA and LINDSEY sitting at a table in the dance studio, looking at sheets of paper.

DARLA
But it says right here.

LINDSEY
It's a loophole. Trust me. I know loopholes. The crowd will love it, and Drusilla's not going to give you a bad score. Hell, she'll love it, too. Our scores from the other judges might suffer for a week, but we do this and we'll stand out from the rest of the pack for weeks.

DARLA
You'd better be right.
------------------

Montage ends.

ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Rumba, Darla and Lindsey McDonald!

DARLA stands one end of the dance floor, wearing a suit jacket with tasteful dance leggings instead of pants or a skirt. Her hair is tied up in a bun in the back. She is studying a legal pad. LINDSEY, also wearing a sharp business suit, stands in the middle of the floor, eyeing DARLA intensely.

"Sign Your Name" by Terence Trent D'Arby plays.

DARLA walks to the opposite end of the floor, still studying the pad. LINDSEY begins to sway with the music, eyes never leaving DARLA as she continues to walk around the perimeter. LINDSEY begins to dance toward her, trying to catch her attention, but she doesn't notice him. Finally he catches her, palming the back of her head and pulling her close, staring into her eyes only inches from his. DARLA begins to sway her hips and body with his. He throws the legal pad away and takes her in dance position, and they begin dancing some Rumba moves.

LINDSEY holds his hands out to the side, and they begin to turn slowly in place. As they turn, DARLA arches her back. Grinding her hips into his, she does a backbend until her arms almost touch the floor. The CROWD applauds. She slowly returns to a standing position and locks her hands behind his head, forearms on his shoulders. Still turning, DARLA lifts one foot into an Arabesque, then, amazingly, the other. The CROWD cheers. Slower than humanly possible, she continues to raise her feet higher and higher until she is vertical above him, her forearms supporting herself on his shoulders. The CROWD squeals and cheers. Suddenly, she snaps her arms out straight to her sides, and drops. LINDSEY catches her ankles at the end of her free-fall, her head an inch from the floor as the CROWD gasps. She lowers her hands to the floor for support as LINDSEY releases first one, then the other ankle, and she stands upright. They go directly into more Rumba moves without missing a beat.

As the music ends, they break apart. DARLA retrieves her legal pad and resumes studying it as she returns to her starting spot on the floor, her back to LINDSEY. He returns to his own starting spot, and resumes looking at her as if the encounter had never really happened. The CROWD stands and cheers wildly.

DARLA and LINDSEY walk separately over to stand beside LORNE in front of the Judges' Table.

LORNE is forced to wait a moment for the CROWD to quiet down.

LORNE
Oh, my. I am speechless. CROWD cheers. I'm assuming they're cheering because they agree with my reaction, and not because you've shut me up. But hopefully you haven't left Wesley speechless, because he's going to tell us what we're looking for in a Rumba.

WESLEY
Of course. Well, the Rumba is a latin dance, so we're looking for the classic hip motion. But since Rumba is more romantic than Cha Cha, we're also looking for lots of style and a sensual connection between the partners.

LORNE
And did we see that in Darla and Lindsey's routine?

WESLEY
We did. CROWD cheers. But unfortunately we also saw an illegal lift. CROWD boos vehemently.

LINDSEY
I didn't lift her. She lifted herself.

WESLEY
None the less, you were supporting her in a move she could not have done by herself, and so it counts as a lift and is illegal. CROWD boos again.

LORNE
Okay, Oz?

OZ
You broke the rules. But still, whoa. CROWD cheers.

LORNE
And Drusilla?

DRUSILLA
Oh, Grandmama, my lovely daughter. The grumpy man wants to spank you but my heart is singing.

LORNE
Okay, you two go on backstage.

WESLEY
I'm not grumpy! Rules are rules!

DRUSILLA
You're grumpy. Grumpy grumpy grum-py!

Cut to backstage where DARLA and LINDSEY stand with ILLYRIA. SEBASSIS and WILLOW sit on the couch behind them.

ILLYRIA
Half-breed.

DARLA
God-king.

ILLYRIA eyes LINDSEY for a moment, but he doesn't speak.

ILLYRIA
Human.

LINDSEY
God-king.

ILLYRIA
You have broken the rules.

LINDSEY
A calculated risk.

ILLYRIA
They bade me not bring my sword from my dressing room or I would mete out-- grabs her ear --the voices have returned.

Cut to Judges' Table.

ANNOUNCER
The Judges are ready with their scores. Drusilla?

DRUSILLA
Eight. CROWD cheers.

DARLA
From backstage "Eight"?!?

ANNOUNCER
Wesley Wyndam-Price?

WESLEY
Five. CROWD boos.

ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?

OZ
Six. CROWD groans.

Cut to backstage.

ILLYRIA
The Judges have given you a score of nineteen. I consider that generous given your flagrant violation of the rules. Yet you smile, human. Are you not shamed?

DARLA
Ha! He's a lawyer.

LINDSEY
We did what we set out to do. To camera Vote for us! We need your votes!

DARLA and LINDSEY walk off-camera.

ILLYRIA
The voices tell me to do things.

Cut to LORNE.

LORNE
Shaking his head. Coming up next, he was "Too sexy" for the Cha Cha, but can he sex up the Rumba? It's Sebassis and Willow!

Cut to montage.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

ANNOUNCER
Last week, SEBASSIS and WILLOW caught everyone's attention with a revealing Cha Cha!

Episode Clip
SEBASSIS and WILLOW stand with LORNE in front of the Judges' Table.

OZ
Whoa.
---------------------------------------------------------------

ANNOUNCER
But can they turn mock sexiness into real Rumba sexiness?
------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
SEBASSIS and WILLOW stand on the dance floor. ARTODE and the SLAVE stand nearby. SEBASSIS' gaze is unwavering as WILLOW speaks.

WILLOW
This time we really have to be-- you know.

ARTODE
She's trying to say "sexy" again.

SEBASSIS
My child, if you can't bring yourself to say it, how are we ever going to portray it on the dance floor?
--------------------------------------------------------------------

WILLOW
Interview
I guess I'm just having trouble picturing-- the Archduke-- y'know. That's not-- an image I want-- oh, God, there it was.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
The screen is black, but we have audio.

SEBASSIS
Do I shake my hips like this?

WILLOW
Um, no, not quite. Here, like this.

SEBASSIS
I see. With more of a thrusting motion.

CAMERAMAN
Voice starting quiet and growing louder, as if he is returning from somewhere.
Hey, what the--? Who put this cloak over the lens?
------------------------------------------------------------------------

SEBASSIS
Interview
The child is shy enough without her every movement being recorded.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
SEBASSIS stands in a dance studio facing the mirror, his back to the camera. WILLOW stands behind him, her hands on his hips.

WILLOW
The hips move from side to side, like this. Do you feel that?

SEBASSIS
A hint of impatience in his voice I do not.

SEBASSIS walks away from WILLOW, frustrated. As he walks toward the SLAVE, he sees the camera, and motions to ARTODE.

SEBASSIS cont.
Artode!

ARTODE walks toward the camera until his body takes up the entire screen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

WILLOW
Interview
We had a little trouble getting the Latin hip motion right. --Or, actually, started. But we worked it out.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

SEBASSIS
Interview
I had a little trouble convincing her to wear this week's costume, but I prevailed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
SEBASSIS and WILLOW talking in a dance studio.

WILLOW b
I don't want to wear that. It's demeaning.

SEBASSIS
My dear, it's just like we discussed last week. We must use every means at our disposal. Now do you want to win, or not?

WILLOW
Sighing Fine, I'll wear it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Montage Ends.

ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Rumba, the Archduke Sebassis and Willow Rosenberg!

SEBASSIS and WILLOW stand facing each other in the middle of the dance floor with about two feet of space between them. He wears a hooded grey robe which is short enough to allow him to dance but full enough that we can't really see his figure. WILLOW wears a black pointed witch's hat and a long, sleek black dress, reminiscent of Morticia Addams. They begin to pantomime stirring a witch's cauldron.

"Black Magic Woman" by Santana plays.

As the music kicks in, their pantomime stirring becomes dancing. They begin to dance around the imaginary cauldron, WILLOW's hips moving with the music, SEBASSIS' hidden by his robe. They take each other in dance position and begin doing some Rumba moves.

Cut to backstage, where SPIKE and FAITH sit on the couch.

FAITH
Looks like the performance anxiety issues are being resolved.

SPIKE
Who told you about that?

FAITH
Um, she did, in her interview last week. Where were you?

SPIKE
Nowhere. I was never in her dorm room. An' besides, it was the chip.

FAITH
What?

Cut to dance floor. WILLOW breaks from dance position and rolls out away from SEBASSIS. Facing him, she wiggles her fingers at him as if casting a spell, then pulls her hands toward herself, then reaches out and pulls in again, as if her wiggling fingers were a fishing line. With each of WILLOW's pulls, SEBASSIS takes a couple of halting steps forward, as if trying to resist being pulled in. He reaches her as the music ends, and collapses into her arms on the last chord. The CROWD cheers.

SEBASSIS stands up and offers an elbow to WILLOW and escorts her to LORNE and the Judges' Table.

LORNE
Another engaging routine, guys. Let's see what the judges thought. Oz? Tell us what you thought, and pray, be brief.

OZ
It was cute. CROWD cheers.

LORNE
You need to learn about sarcasm, Cherry Pie. Dru?

DRUSILLA
Ooh, the little witch is coming to steal the goodies in my basket for Grandmama and wants to eat them up. You'd better be cooking up a blindness spell 'coz I see what's coming. And the warlock keeps his secrets hidden under his robe.

LORNE
Okay, Wes, you just try and follow that act.

WESLEY
I won't even attempt it. Chuckles from the CROWD. I can say, however, that on the whole, it was a solid routine, full of true Rumba steps which I like. CROWD applauds. However, as Dru pointed out in her own… inimitable way, Sebassis, your robe hid everything. We couldn't see you dance at all! WILLOW blushes. She bows her head and grins like the cat who ate the canary. The CROWD boos. WESLEY turns to look at them. Oh, and I suppose you're all demons with X-ray vision! CROWD laughs.

LORNE
Zing! I think that makes the score this week Crowd 2, Wesley 1.

WESLEY
I think that's already more than I scored the whole of last week, Lorne. CROWD laughs.

LORNE
Oh, he shoots, he scores! Tie game! I think you're getting' the hang of this, Wesley! Sebassis and Willow have gone backstage with Illyria. Let's join them!

Cut to backstage, where ILLYRIA stands with SEBASSIS and WILLOW. SPIKE and FAITH sit on the couch.

ILLYRIA
The robe was a subterfuge, meant to camouflage the Archduke's inability to properly move his hips.

WILLOW
Sheepishly Y- you figured that out, huh?

ILLYRIA
I did not need to "figure it out." Do you suppose that I am as feeble as these humans? I cannot be so easily fooled. I have seen all there is to see. I-- (ILLYRIA breaks off and a hand jerks to her ear).

SEBASSIS
Apparently, however, her highness has not heard all there is to hear.

Cut to Judges' Table.

ANNOUNCER
Will the judges please reveal their scores? Drusilla?

DRUSILLA
Seven. CROWD applauds.

ANNOUNCER
Wesley Wyndam-Price?

WESLEY
Seven. CROWD applauds.

ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?

OZ
Eight. CROWD cheers.

Cut to backstage.

ILLYRIA
The voices tell me that you have scored a twenty-two. Apparently they think me incapable of math, yet I was adding the numbers of thousands of legions before they-- to SEBASSIS and WILLOW They wish you good fortune in the upcoming voting.

Cut to LORNE

LORNE
Okay, our next couple wowed the judges and the audience last week with a hot Cha Cha! Can they heat up the Quickstep? It's Spike and Faith!

Cut to montage.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANNOUNCER
Last episode, SPIKE and FAITH dazzled with their sexy Cha Cha!

Episode Clip
SPIKE and FAITH stand with LORNE in front of the Judges' Table.

DRUSILLA
That was lovely. You made all the fireworks go off in my head.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

FAITH
Interview
I think the Quickstep will be a little harder for us than the Cha Cha.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip.
SPIKE and FAITH practicing in a dance studio. They attempt a quick promenade run. SPIKE trips and goes crashing into the small tables and chairs at the side of the dance floor.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

SPIKE
Rehearsal's goin' fine. Quickstep's easy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip.
SPIKE and FAITH practicing in a dance studio. They attempt a quick promenade run. SPIKE trips, and grabs FAITH for support. They both go crashing into the small tables and chairs at the side of the dance floor.
----------------------------------------------------------------

SPIKE
Interview
She's a bit argumentative, tho'. An' a hypocrite!
------------------------------------------------------------------

Rehearsal Clip
SPIKE stands outside the dance studio, leaning against a wall, smoking. FAITH joins him.

FAITH
Gimme one.

SPIKE
Shaking a cigarette out of his pack and offers it to her.

FAITH
Grabbing the cigarette. Gimme a light.

SPIKE
Sure you don't want that smoke smell hanging about?

FAITH
Distractedly What?

SPIKE
Singsong Someone's got a habit.

FAITH
Puts the cigarette in her mouth and reaches into his pocket for a lighter.
So?

SPIKE
You gave me all that grief last week about smoking, but look who can't stay away now.

FAITH
I gave you grief about burning me and about smoking while you're supposed to be dancing. Where the hell is that lighter?

SPIKE
Just keep rootin' around in there till you find it.

FAITH
Pulling the lighter out. Got it.

SPIKE
Sure that's what you actually wanted?

FAITH
Oh, when I want anything else in there, I'll take that, too. And if you don't watch your feet on the next promenade run, I might take all sorts of things.
----------------------------------------------------------------

Montage ends.

ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Quickstep, William The Bloody and Faith Lahane!

SPIKE stands at the top of the stage, dressed in tan tuxedo pants and a white tux shirt, covered with a leopard print tuxedo vest and matching bow tie. FAITH, standing on the opposite side of the stage, wears a short ball gown made of see-through leopard print material. The only opaque parts of the gown are the matching print bra and bikini areas.

"I Wanna Be Like You" from The Jungle Book plays.

SPIKE descends the stairs as FAITH walks to the center of the stage then leaps off. The CROWD squeals as SPIKE catches her under her shoulders and swings her, quite high, back and forth. At the top of one swing he releases her, and she flips over, landing in a crouched position and looking much like the cat her costume suggests. The CROWD cheers wildly.

They stalk each other, circling around, then meet in dance position for a promenade run.

SPIKE lifts FAITH and tosses her a couple of feet away and the CROWD cheers again. She lands and immediately does a little Charleston to fit the music. SPIKE mimics it. He does a similar step and she copies it. The CROWD cheers louder as they go back and forth, challenging each other with more and more intricate moves. Then they return to dance hold for a couple of Quickstep moves toward the stage. Once there, SPIKE tosses FAITH up onto the stage where she lands in that same crouch as the music ends. The CROWD stands and cheers.

SPIKE extends a hand to FAITH and escorts her down the stairs and over to LORNE, in front of the Judges' Table.

LORNE
Wow, kids, that routine had everything in it but the kitchen sink. While you catch your breath, we'll have Wesley tell us what we're looking for in a Quickstep. Wes?

WESLEY
Well, we're looking for fast footwork, quick hops and skips, and smooth movements.

LORNE
And did we get that with Spike and Faith's Quickstep?

WESLEY
We didn't get any Quickstep in their Quickstep. CROWD boos loudly. You said it best yourself, Lorne, that routine had everything but the kitchen sink, including lifts, which as I've said before, are illegal! CROWD boos more loudly. What it didn't have was very much Quickstep.

SPIKE
Hey, it was a good routine! And she even wore a sexy outfit!

WESLEY
It was a good acrobatic routine. It was not a ballroom routine. And her costume was indeed quite fetching.

FAITH
That routine was perfectly--

WESLEY
Illegal.

FAITH
He didn't lift me! I can do all that on my own!

WESLEY
Nevertheless, he supported you. And regardless, both your feet left the floor for an extended period of time. Thus, it counts as a lift.

LORNE
Okay, okay, how about you, Dru?

DRUSILLA
Naughty, naughty Spike. Follow the rules. Shame, shame, throwing the bad Slayer around. CROWD boos. DRUSILLA shoots them a glare, and they quiet immediately. She looks at SPIKE and smiles. But I liked it. Cautious applause from some of the CROWD. I remember when you used to be a bad dog. Sultry smile

LORNE
Okay, and Oz?

OZ
Dude, you gotta read the rules, man. CROWD moans.

SPIKE and FAITH turn to go backstage, fuming.

LORNE
Their acrobatics were a joy to watch, but will they take all the joy out of the judges' scores? We'll find out, when Dancing With The Demons continues!

Short, four-bar theme music plays to the break.