Title: Dancing With the Demons, Ep.
2 (Part 2)
Author: redsrule1
Fandoms:
Buffy, Angel, Dancing With the Stars
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I
did not make up the characters, shows, the Rumba, or the Quickstep. I
just teach how to do them.
Pairings: Gen
Characters: Just about
everyone
Author's Notes: Thanks to my super-beta, yourlibrarian.
Summary:
Nine couples, ONE winner, and you decide who will be the champion!
(Short, four-bar version of the show's theme music plays as we return from the break).
LORNE
Welcome back, to "Dancing
With The Demons," the show where you will pick the
winners! We've already seen three couples dance and now we're ready
to hear the scores for Spike and Faith's Quickstep.
ANNOUNCER
The
judges have their scores. Drusilla?
DRUSILLA
Seven.
(Some applause from the CROWD.
ANNOUNCER
Wesley
Wyndam-Price?
WESLEY
Five. (CROWD
boos.
ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?
OZ
Six.
(CROWD groans.
(Cut to backstage, where ILLYRIA stands with SPIKE and FAITH. GUNN and CORDELIA sit on the couch in the background.
ILLYRIA
You have received a score of
eighteen and are in last place. It is just punishment for your
transgressions. Have you anything to say in your defense?
SPIKE
Hey,
that was a perfectly good routine. Percy's just got a burr up his
arse.
ILLYRIA
Ah, yes, "Percy." Your term
of endearment for Wesley.
SPIKE
S'not meant as an
endearment.
ILLYRIA
Of course it is. To show
affection for one human by another, it is customary to refer to that
person by a special name assigned by the speaker. You once called me
"Blue."
SPIKE
That's 'cause you
are.
ILLYRIA
The contents of the judge's digestive
tract have no bearing on the worthiness of your routine. The fact
remains that you have violated the rules.
FAITH
Those
rules are a grey area. Wesley's just being a tight ass-- big surprise
there!
ILLYRIA
(Cocks her head. Wesley the Judge
has--
FAITH
Look, maybe the swinging was a bit much,
rule-wise, but there's no way those were lifts. I'm a (BEEP)ing
Slayer. I could have done all that on my own.
ILLYRIA
The
voices are troubled by your profanity. They also inform me that it is
urgent that I allow the Host to speak. Perhaps he has an update on
the judge's medical condition.
(Cut to LORNE.
LORNE
(Forces
a smile at the camera, not entirely sure what to say). Okay. Well.
Last week, our next couple was in the bottom half on the leader
board. Can they redeem themselves with their Rumba? It's Gunn and
Cordy!
(Cut to
montage.
-----------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Last
week, learning the Cha Cha proved to be a
challenge!
------------------------------------------
(Episode
Clip
(GUNN and CORDELIA stand with LORNE at the Judges'
Table.
WESLEY
Gunn was obviously having some
difficulty remembering the routine, forcing Cordelia to pull him
through several of the
moves.
------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Will
the Rumba prove just as
daunting?
------------------------------------------
CORDELIA
(Interview
I'm
happy that we get a chance to do another Latin dance this week, so
that we can prove we can do
it.
-------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
Clip
(GUNN is standing in front of the studio's mirrored wall,
practicing his hip motion. CORDELIA stands behind him,
watching.
CORDELIA
I can't believe those bastards
gave us another Latin dance to do! That's two in a row, and we
couldn't do it the first
time!
-------------------------------------------
GUNN
(Interview
Apparently,
our finish last week wasn't quite good
enough.
------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
Clip
(GUNN and CORDELIA in a dance studio.
GUNN
More
hip practice?
CORDELIA
We gotta get those hips
moving. So we're gonna stand here and work on shakin' your booty 'til
it falls off.
GUNN
It's already shakin' as much as
it can! When are we gonna get to do something really tight like that
ballet we
saw?
-------------------------------------------
CORDELIA
(Interview
I'm
glad Harmony didn't get eliminated. And Buffy! Wow, look at how well
she did. Of course I want to win, but it's not about beating the
other couples, it's about doing the best I can
do.
-------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.
(GUNN and CORDELIA stand in a dance studio.
CORDELIA
We
got beaten by Buffy Summers, Miss
"I-Think-Accessorizing-Means-Stakes-And-Holy-Water" and who
thinks garlic is an appropriate breath mint. We got beaten by Miss
"Softer-Side-Of-Witchcraft" herself, we barely beat Harmony
"I'm-Still-Trying-to-Be-Cordelia" Kendall and Rupert "I
Bleed Tweed" Giles, and we couldn't manage any better than a tie
with Xander Harris who shall remain nameless!
GUNN
Um,
you just named him.
CORDELIA
What?
GUNN
You
said he shall remain nameless, but you named him.
CORDELIA
Shut
up! I'm ranting. And wipe that smirk off your face,
mister!
GUNN
That's cold. I thought these people
were your friends.
CORDELIA
They are. But they're on
my turf now. There's no "friend" in
"team."
GUNN
Okay, you know you stopped
makin' sense now, right?
CORDELIA
None of it makes
any sense! We were tied near the bottom with Xander Harris. Xander
Harris! Thank God we beat Harmony or I'd have to throw myself on
my spiked heel! Now stop wasting time ranting about other people and
get busy working on those
hips!
------------------------------------------
CORDELIA
(Interview
It's
not that I think I'm better than those other people. It's just that I
should be better at this than
them.
------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
Clip
(GUNN and CORDELIA dancing. CORDELIA does a spin and falls
backward in a drop. GUNN catches her, but awkwardly, and she lands on
her butt with a bump.
GUNN
I'm sorry, you all
right, Cordy?
CORDELIA
Yeah, I'm okay. You
know--
GUNN
Yeah, Xander Harris woulda' caught
you.
CORDELIA
(Considers this for a moment). Nah, he
probably wouldn't've.
GUNN
That's good, 'cuz I
wasn't gonna catch you at all next time if you said his name
again.
-----------------------------------------
GUNN
(Interview
There's
definitely some competitive issues there. I got nothin' against
Xander, but I'm gonna have to take him out back and kick his ass just
so I can stop hearing about
him.
-----------------------------------------
CORDELIA
(Interview
This
is my chance to prove I've still got it. That "Queen C"
wasn't just-- a
pretender.
------------------------------------------
(Montage ends.
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Rumba, Charles Gunn and
Cordelia Chase!
(GUNN stands behind CORDELIA in the middle of the dance floor. She wears a sleek white dress with a high slit on the right leg, and the midriff cut out so that it has the effect of a two-piece. He is dressed in a long sleeved black satin Latin shirt with matching pants. He looks down at her as she leans back into him, his hands covering hers which are folded across her chest in a pseudo-embrace.
("Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper plays.
(GUNN takes a step backward and extends his arms, causing CORDELIA to tilt backward. He leans her to the left and steps over her with his right foot, so that she is now facing the floor, her legs extended between his. Without stopping, GUNN steps over her with his left leg, so that CORDELIA swings around and completes the circle, to end standing in the same position they started. She spins to face him and they break into Rumba moves. The CROWD squeals and applauds.
(GUNN leads CORDELIA into a turn, and she dances all the way around him. As she completes the circle he reaches out and catches her right hand in his. Using that hand to push off, they both do a spin and stop by catching their left hands. They spin the opposite direction and stop sharply, this time catching each other's cheek in a caress, pulling their faces close. The CROWD cheers, and they break into more Rumba.
(As the music nears the end, CORDELIA spins away from GUNN toward the far end of the floor. She stops with her back to him, spreads her arms wide, and keeping her legs and body straight, falls backward. The CROWD gasps. GUNN runs up behind her and catches her. In the same movement, he lowers her to the floor and slides her away, while continuing to the floor himself. As the music ends, they lay fully extended in a line on the floor, the fingertips of one outstretched arm each just touching. The CROWD cheers.
(GUNN gets up from the floor and helps CORDELIA up. They walk over to LORNE in front of the Judges' Table.
LORNE
Sweet
little number, you two. Let's see what the judges thought.
Drusilla?
DRUSILLA
Ophelia sings a pretty song and
now Hamlet listens. And Hamlet studied his lessons better this time,
didn't he?
GUNN
Yes, ma'am. The last thing I want is
Ophelia here mad at me.
CORDELIA
That's 'cause he
knows he'll end up like the real Hamlet if he's not
careful.
GUNN
Hamlet wasn't real, was
he?
CORDELIA
(Shakes her head as she keeps a wide
smile on her face
LORNE
Wesley, how about
you?
WESLEY
The Rumba is another Latin dance and as
such, the hip movement is essential. And I'm afraid it stil isn't
quite up to snuff so I can't really say this was well done. (CROWD
boos). After last week I had my doubts as to your ability to last
very long in this competition. (CROWD boos louder.
GUNN
Well
who died and made you the dance boss, Wes?
WESLEY
I
did, actually. But if you'll allow me to finish, the routine was much
better tonight and, apart from the hips, you performed it much
better. Your hard work is evident and tonight you've shown me that
you could last if you keep it up. (CROWD applauds.
LORNE
You
kinda redeemed yourself there, Wes. And as for you, Oz?
OZ
I
was gonna pretty much say what he said.
LORNE
(Waving
GUNN and CORDELIA off camera. Okay, you go on backstage and we'll
see what Illyria has to say.
(Cut backstage where ILLYRIA stands with GUNN and CORDELIA. HARMONY and GILES sit on the couch in the background.
ILLYRIA
You have begun to redeem
yourself after your shameful performance last week, Charles
Gunn.
GUNN
Uh, thanks?
ILLYRIA
Your
teacher has obviously taken better control of you, as it should be.
Let us now see the results.
(Cut to Judges' Table.
ANNOUNCER
The judges are ready with their
scores. Drusilla?
DRUSILLA
Eight. (CROWD
cheers.
ANNOUNCER
Wesley
Wyndam-Price?
WESLEY
Seven. (CROWD
applauds.
ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?
OZ
Eight.
(CROWD cheers.
(Cut backstage.
ILLYRIA
You
have received a score of twenty-three. That is a respectable showing
and puts you in first place for the moment. Now, what do you know of
Judge Wesley's condition?
CORDELIA
What, you mean
the rod he's got up his butt?
ILLYRIA
Rod. I was
told it was a burr.
CORDELIA
Burr, rod, same
thing.
ILLYRIA
(Looks doubtful
GUNN
(To
CORDELIA) Uh, ix-nay on insulting the udge-jay. Especially on
television.
ILLYRIA
You use words that are strange
to me. What do they mean?
GUNN
Never mind. (Looks
into camera). Back to you, Lorne!
(Cut to LORNE.
LORNE
It's
been so long since I've heard a proper "toss," that sounded
strange! Anyway, our next couple was in the bottom two last week. Can
they place better this week? It's Harmony and Giles!
(Cut to
montage.
------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Last
week, Harmony and Giles' Waltz brought mixed reviews from the
judges.
-------------------------------------------
(Episode
clip.
(HARMONY and GILES stand with LORNE in front of the Judges'
Table.
DRUSILLA
From the waist up I was watching
birds soaring gracefully. But underneath it was stamp stamp stamp! I
don't like stamp. Don't do
it.
------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Will
their Quickstep lift them out of the bottom two this
week?
------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.
(HARMONY and GILES in a dance studio. HARMONY is bouncing
excitedly.
HARMONY
(Vibrantly We didn't get
eliminated! We made it to the second round! Aren't you
excited?
GILES
(Painfully profesional smile I'm
ecstatic.
------------------------------------------
HARMONY
(Interview
Gilesie
says that since we almost got eliminated last week, we really have to
work hard and stay focused this week. I can do that. I can stay
focused. I can work
hard.
-------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.
(GILES is showing HARMONY a graceful Quickstep
move.
GILES
Right, then. Got it?
HARMONY
You
didn't hop.
GILES
What?
HARMONY
We
get to hop in Quickstep, right? I wanna
hop.
------------------------------------------
GILES
(Interview
We
were fortunate to be given the Quickstep to do this week. It can be a
bouncy dance, which is good because Harmony can be a bouncy
person.
------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip
(HARMONY and GILES practicing. They stop.
HARMONY
Was
that right? Did I get that right? I did that right,
right?
GILES
That was quite good,
actually.
(HARMONY claps her hands excitedly, and squeals loudly. GILES cringes.
GILES
Was that a frequency
acquired when you became a vampire or did you always possess
it?
------------------------------------------
HARMONY
(Interview
I
like the Quickstep better than the Waltz. It's a lot more fun. We get
to jump and hop and skip all over the
floor.
-------------------------------
(Rehearsal clip
(GILES
showing HARMONY a Quickstep move.
HARMONY
Do you
hop in this one?
GILES
Not this move. This is a
gliding movement.
HARMONY
(Disappointed)Oh.
------------------------------------------
GILES
(Interview
One
of the hardest things for her is simply keeping her mind on the
business at hand. Her work ethic is a bit lacking, and she's going to
have to work very hard to survive in this
competition.
------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.
(HARMONY is sitting on a chair in the kitchenette, talking
on her cell phone. GILES enters.
GILES
What are you
doing? We've got to practice that step!
HARMONY
(Exasperated
sigh). Again?
(GILES grabs her phone and closes it, then takes her hand to pull her back out to the dance floor.
GILES
Yes,
again.
HARMONY
(Whines). Working hard is hard
work.
-------------------------------------------
GILES
(Interview
I've
tried to impress upon her that while ballroom dancing is fun, it also
requires hard work and a certain amount of
decorum.
-------------------------------------------
(Teachers'
Camp clip.
(GILES stands in the middle of the dance floor doing
the "Chicken
Dance."
------------------------------------------
GILES
(Interview
Actually,
I have to give Harmony credit for coming up with the idea for our
routine.
-------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip
(GILES showing HARMONY a Quickstep move.
HARMONY
(Somewhat
bored) Can I hop now?
GILES
We have plenty of
hopping in the routine. We don't need any more.
HARMONY
Yes
we do.
GILES
And why is that?
HARMONY
'Cause
I'm cold.
GILES
Well, look at what you're wearing: a
flimsy camisole and shorts. It's no wonder. Put something
on.
HARMONY
That doesn't help.
GILES
Why
on Earth--
HARMONY
Duh, I'm a vampire? I have
no body heat for the extra clothes to keep in, so I might as well
look cute.
GILES
Touché. For once fashion
over function makes sense. --Of course! It makes a lot of
sense!
HARMONY
(Scoffs). When does it
not?
-------------------------------------------
HARMONY
(Interview
He
says he wants to do a routine about fashion, but he wouldn't know
fashion if it came up and bit him on the broad side of a
barn.
------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.
(HARMONY sits in the kitchenette, painting her toenails.
GILES enters.
GILES
Where have you been? I've been
waiting out there for twenty minutes!"
HARMONY
(Gives
him a look that says the answer is painfully obvious). Um, painting
my toenails? Duh.
GILES
In the middle of our
practice? The makeup people at the show are going to do that
anyway!
HARMONY
(Scoffs). We're trying to be
fashionable, right? I can't have them thinking I'm some loser who
doesn't know to paint her nails.
GILES
(Looks
directly at the camera). Honestly, I don't know why I keep
bothering.
------------------------------------------
GILES
(Interview
(Smiles
proudly). Really? She called me
"Gilesie?"
------------------------------------------
(Montage ends.
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Quickstep, Harmony
Kendall and Rupert Giles!
(HARMONY and GILES stand on oppposite sides of the stage. She wears a red Marilyn Monroe style dress, and has her hair done up to match. She wears red gloves, a pearl necklace, earrings, and a big ring on her finger. She holds a red feather boa. GILES is dressed in top hat, white tie, and tails.
("Puttin' On The Ritz" plays.
(HARMONY and GILES step to the center of the stage, where he offers her his right elbow. She takes it and they descend the stairs together. GILES takes one end of the boa as HARMONY rolls away from him, holding the other end. She struts in a circle around him, drawing closer as the boa wraps around him. She runs out of boa just as she returns to face him, and without missing a beat they take a dance hold and begin doing some Quickstep moves.
(Cut to backstage, where CLEM and BUFFY sit on the couch.
BUFFY
(Chuckles.) More like
"Puttin' On The Ditz."
CLEM
(Surprised)
Buffy! That wasn't nice.
BUFFY
No, but it was
funny.
CLEM
(Smiles). Yes. Yes it was.
(Cut to ballroom.
(HARMONY and GILES dance to a stop and begin an intricate series of quick hops and kicks, then move smoothly into more traveling moves.
(As the music nears its climax, they perform a skipping and kicking promenade run right toward the Judges' Table. They stop a few feet away from it and perform a final series of hops and kicks before breaking their dance hold. GILES takes his top hat in hand and HARMONY takes her boa and they do a "Shuffle Off To Buffalo" up to the Judges. As the music hits its final chord, GILES places his top hat on DRUSILLA's head and HARMONY drapes her boa around WESLEY's neck. The CROWD cheers.
LORNE
(Laughing)
What an ending! And what a Quickstep! I'm dying to hear what Wesley
has to say to this!
WESLEY
(Blowing some of the
boa's feathers away from his mouth) That was quite a routine. (CROWD
cheers). Your footwork was impeccable, unlike last week, and you kept
the smooth parts flowing. Well done! (CROWD cheers. WESLEY smiles,
proud of himself.
LORNE
Oz, how about you?
OZ
I
didn't get any gifts.
(The CROWD "aww"s. HARMONY takes off her big pearl necklace and drapes it around OZ's neck. The CROWD laughs.
OZ
Okay, now I'm
satisfied.
LORNE
Anything to say about the
routine?
OZ
No, it was great. The only thing I'd say
is your steps were better than last week, but they could still be
bigger in the smooth dances.
LORNE
Be still my
heart! I won't be able to sit down the rest of the night it's pumping
so hard. You actually inspired Oz to say more than one
sentence!
GILES
Then we have truly
succeeded.
LORNE
You're not kidding. Dru, how about
you?
DRUSILLA
The hat is on my head and you can't
pull a rabbit out. Lucky rabbit's foot pulls you out of the bottom
two but you won't finish first this week.
LORNE
(LORNE
motions HARMONY and GILES backstage.)
Dru, honey, we talked about
this already.
DRUSILLA
Ooh, someone's getting
cross. (Makes a zipping motion across her lips.) Mmph mmph mmph
mmmph.
LORNE
What?
DRUSILLA
("Unzipping"
her lips) Zipped too soon. I said I'll try to make the birds stop
singing to me.
LORNE
You do that. But meanwhile,
let's see if anyone's singing in Illyria's ear.
(Cut to backstage. HARMONY and GILES stand with ILLYRIA, and CLEM and BUFFY sit in the background.
ILLYRIA
They don't sing.
They only speak. I have chosen to ignore them.
HARMONY
Oh,
does that mean we don't have to talk to you? (To GILES) Does that
mean we don't have to talk to her? 'Cause she kinda wigs me
out.
ILLYRIA
Your ability to speak to me is an honor
you do not deserve. During my reign anyone daring to do so without
leave would be -- (Cups ear with her hand). They grow more adamant,
but this time I am interested in their words. The judges are
ready.
(Cut to Judges' Table.
ANNOUNCER
The
judges have their scores. Drusilla?
DRUSILLA
Nine.
(CROWD cheers.
ANNOUNCER
Wesley
Wyndam-Price?
WESLEY
Nine. (CROWD cheers
wildly.
ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?
OZ
Eight.
(CROWD cheers.
(Cut to backstage. HARMONY jumps up and down with delight, throwing her arms around GILES. He manages to cringe and look pleased at the same time. ILLYRIA looks at her sharply.
ILLYRIA
The judges have given you a score
of twenty-six, which puts you into the lead.
(HARMONY squeals and hops excitedly.
ILLYRIA
Do not make that noise
again.
BUFFY
(To CLEM) It's cuter when you do
it.
(HARMONY nearly squeals again but just manages to contain it.
ILLYRIA
Leave now. I am glad that the seer
tells us you will not stay in first place. I prefer to listen to the
voices, which are requesting that we return to the Host.
(Cut to LORNE
LORNE
Our next couple made a big splash
with their Cha Cha last week, but will the Quickstep leave them high
and dry? It's Clem and Buffy!
(Cut to
montage.
-------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Last
week, Clem and Buffy surprised everyone with their Cha
Cha!
------------------------------------------
(Episode
clip
(CLEM and BUFFY stand with LORNE at the Judges'
Table.
WESLEY
That was the best dance I've seen
tonight!
------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
And
even the God-King
approved!
------------------------------------------
(Episode
clip.
(ILLYRIA stands backstage with CLEM and BUFFY. CLEM is
bouncing excitedly, and there is a brief, almost imperceptible upturn
in one corner of ILLYRIA's mouth.
ILLYRIA
I am not
displeased.
------------------------------------------
BUFFY
(Interview
We
were definitely excited about how we did last
week.
-------------------------------------------
(Reheasral
clip.
(CLEM and BUFFY face each other in the dance studio,
holding hands and jumping up and
down.
------------------------------------------
BUFFY
(Interview
But
it was just the first week and it really doesn't mean much. It's not
like I'm gonna rub anybody's nose in it… that I beat, say, Cordelia
and Harmony. And Darla-- vamp
tramp.
-------------------------------------------
CLEM
(Interview
I--
I can't believe we did so well! It was so much fun. I hope everybody
else had as much fun as we did. I think Spike'll probably win this
week-- he and Faith are real good together. And Willow and Sebassis
were so much fun! As long as we're not eliminated, I mean, it's not
like we're gonna go around gloating 'cause we got a first place.
Especially not Buffy. She's all business. I worry about her
sometimes, taking things too
seriously.
------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.
(BUFFY is alone in the dance studio. "Na Na Hey Hey
Kiss Him Goodbye" by Bananarama plays on the stereo. BUFFY does
a twisty, gloaty dance.
BUFFY
(Singing) Na na,
na-na na na, Guh-lor-ry,
goodbye!
------------------------------------------
BUFFY
(Interview
But
then it was celebration's over and it was time to work. But we had a
little trouble
focusing.
------------------------------------------
(BUFFY showing CLEM a dance move.
BUFFY
Okay, now, Clem,
when you do this step, you have to remember to stay on the balls of
your feet.
CLEM
Okay. We won last
week!
BUFFY
(Smiling) Yes, we did. Now make sure you
keep your head up when--
CLEM
Did Dawn see the show?
Did you tell her about it?
BUFFY
Yes, she saw it. I
called her afterwards. Now keep your head--
CLEM
So
how is Dawn, anyway?
BUFFY
Um, she's fine, Clem. Now
this step is--
CLEM
She doing okay in school? Is she
still in school? She's not old enough for college yet, is
she?
BUFFY
(Annoyed)Clem, will you please just pay
attention?!?
CLEM
Oh, yeah, sure.
BUFFY
Good.
Now, make sure you--
CLEM
Tell her I said "hi"
next time you talk to her,
okay?
--------------------------------------------
CLEM
(Interview
Buffy
says I need to focus more and maybe she's right. I'm sure she
wouldn't say that if it wasn't true, she's my teacher after all.
She's been really great. Although she doesn't look like she's been
eating well, and that's odd. You'd think she'd get lots to eat in
Italy. I mean, who goes to Italy and loses weight, right? It
makes her skin way too tight. But I guess you're under lots of stress
as a Slayer. Used to be that nobody else could answer that question,
but now lots of girls can,
huh?
-------------------------------------------
BUFFY
(Interview
We
got some good practicing in. Hopefully it was enough. But I can't
blame him. He's so excited and he's so fun, how're you gonna be mad
at him?
-------------------------------------------
(Montage ends.
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Quickstep, Clem and
Buffy Summers!
(BUFFY, dressed in a short-haired black wig and a flapper dress, sits in a chair in the front row of the audience, holding a wine glass. CLEM, dressed in a zoot suit, walks up to her holding a champagne bottle.
("I Get A Kick Out Of You" by Anita O'Day plays.
(CLEM offers BUFFY the bottle, but she shakes her head. She tosses the glass aside and points at him. CLEM points to himself and mouths the question "me?" and BUFFY nods, standing up and dragging him onto the dance floor. She does a little Charleston, then motions for him to try. He does, but very poorly. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes, then physically puts him in dance position, as if about to teach him how. They take a few tentative steps then stop. BUFFY smiles and claps, and CLEM smiles broadly. A couple more steps, and BUFFY claps again. CLEM gets a smug look on his face and raises an eyebrow, tilting his head from side to side in self-congratulation. He takes her in dance position once more. He takes a couple of slow steps, then faster, then breaks into a promenade run full of skips and kicks and on into various Quickstep moves.
(They break apart and BUFFY once again shows CLEM the Charleston. He scratches his head as if unable to figure it out. He shrugs, then puts his hands on his knees and switches them back and forth as he moves his knees in and out. BUFFY shakes her head and takes him into dance hold and more Quickstep.
(As the music nears the end, BUFFY shows CLEM the Charleston once more. CLEM's face brightens and he holds up one finger to mime "ah-ha!" He begins to step and kick like a Charleston, and BUFFY, clapping, walks toward him to congratulate him. CLEM gets carried away, however, kicking higher and higher. BUFFY throws her hands up in an "oh no!" gesture and turns to get out of the way but CLEM plants a kick right on her backside just as the music ends. The CROWD laughs and cheers.
(CLEM escorts BUFFY to LORNE and the Judges' Table.)
LORNE
What a cute routine! And aren't you
just cute as a button in that wig! Oz, what did you think?
OZ
I
agree. I think you'll have a lot of volunteers to rub where he kicked
you. (CROWD laughs.
LORNE
Daniel Osbourne! You dog,
you! --No pun intended. And how about the routine?
OZ
A
good job.
LORNE
All right. Drusilla?
DRUSILLA
I
remember when we used to do the Charleston. Well, we didn't
really. We just waited for the flappers to come out of the clubs to
have our dinner.
LORNE
And the
routine?
DRUSILLA
(Licking her fingers) It made me
hungry.
LORNE
Wes, it's up to you to analyze their
routine.
WESLEY
This is why I'm the most unpopular
judge. I'm the only one who actually critiques the dances.
OZ
I
critique sometimes. I'm just smart enough not to critique the ones
the audience likes best.
WESLEY
That's your game, is
it? I suppose that leaves it to me as head judge to bear the burden.
All right, your routine was nicely done. (CROWD applauds). Your
dancing ability continues to surprise us, Clem, but be careful that
you don't rely too much on gimmicks. You don't need them. (Murmurs
from the CROWD). There were a couple of missteps here and there.
(CROWD boos. WESLEY ignores them). But nothing major.
LORNE
(To
CLEM and BUFFY). All right, you two go have a nice chat with Illyria.
(To camera). It sounded like the judges liked what they saw, but will
Clem and Buffy like the scores they get? We'll find out, when Dancing
With The Demons returns!
(Short, four bar version of theme plays to the break.)