Title: Dancing With the Demons, Ep. 2 (Part 3)
Author: redsrule1
Fandoms: Buffy, Angel, Dancing With the Stars
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I did not make up the characters, shows, the Rumba, or the Quickstep. I just teach how to do them.
Pairings: Gen
Characters: Just about everyone
Author's Notes: Thanks to my super-beta, yourlibrarian.
Summary: Nine couples, ONE winner, and this week you'll be voting for your favorite couples!

Dancing With The Demons
Episode Two, Part Three

(Short, four-bar version of the show's theme music plays as we return from the break.)

LORNE
We're back with "Dancing With The Demons!" Just before the break , Clem and Buffy wowed the audience with their Quickstep! Let's see if they wowed the judges as well.

ANNOUNCER
Ladies and gentlemen, the judges' scores: Drusilla?

DRUSILLA
Nine. (CROWD cheers.)

ANNOUNCER
Wesley Wyndam-Price?

WESLEY
Nine. (CROWD cheers.)

ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?

OZ
Nine. (CROWD cheers wildly.)

(Cut to backstage, where ILLYRIA stands with CLEM and BUFFY. LILAH and ANGEL sit on the couch in the background. CLEM jumps excitedly and throws his arms around BUFFY.)

CLEM
Twenty-seven! We did it again!

(CLEM releases BUFFY and throws his arms around ILLYRIA, pinning her elbows to her sides. ILLYRIA's eyes snap open wide and she stiffens.)

CLEM cont.
We're in first place!

(CLEM turns and bounces off-camera. ILLYRIA remains motionless. BUFFY flashes a smile at her, then follows CLEM. ANGEL watches ILLYRIA, amused.)

(Cut to LORNE.)

LORNE
(Barely able to speak for laughing.) Lilah… and Angel… are next!

(Cut to montage.)

ANNOUNCER
Last week, the judges liked their Waltz.
--------------------------------------------

(Episode clip.)
(LILAH and ANGEL stand with LORNE at the Judges' Table.)

WESLEY
Your dancing was strong and fluid, and you moved well across the floor.

DRUSILLA
I like it.

OZ
The dancing was smooth.
--------------------------------------------

ANNOUNCER
But a line was crossed.
--------------------------------------------

(Episode clip.)
(LILAH and ANGEL stand backstage with ILLYRIA.)

ILLYRIA
The half-breed appears angered.

(ANGEL does not speak, just glares.)

ILLYRIA cont.
He does not deign to speak with you.
--------------------------------------------

(Results show clip.)

LORNE
Lilah and Angel!

(Close up of LILAH and ANGEL as the spotlight hits them.)

LORNE cont.
You are moving on to the next round.

(LILAH throws her arms wide to give ANGEL a congratulatory hug, but he ignores her.)
--------------------------------------------

ANNOUNCER
Can their partnership recover?
--------------------------------------------

ANGEL
(Interview)
I should have been suspicious when she seemed so keen on that particular theme for our routine. I'll be more on my guard from now on. She's a formidable opponent and I don't envy the other couples. She'll do whatever it takes to win. I'll just have to make sure that whatever it takes for her to win doesn't happen to be evil.
--------------------------------------------

(Rehearsal clip.)
(LILAH and ANGEL sitting at a table at the side of the dance floor.)

LILAH
Okay, I won't do anything like that again. But if you want to win, we have to pull out all the stops.

ANGEL
There are some things that are off limits.

LILAH
No, there's not. Not if you want to win.

ANGEL
We can win without invoking my dead friends.

LILAH
Angel, I am your dead friend. Wesley's your dead friend. This whole competition is full of your dead someones.
And the only reason Fred herself hasn't been brought back is because Illyria is still alive. Don't you think she would have made a much better co-host than Illyria?

ANGEL
No, you don't understand. It was different with Fred. She was annihilated. Body, soul, everything. Burned up. We tried. There was nothing to bring back.

LILAH
Uh huh. Nothing for you to bring back, maybe. But you also didn't have the power to bring all these others back. The producers of this show have that power. They probably wanted Fred, but Illyria was the best they could do.

ANGEL
It's just a dance competition. It doesn't matter that much.

LILAH
Honey, this is Hollywood. Everything matters that much. (Stands up.) Now are you gonna show me that Quickstep move or not?

ANGEL
(Stands and takes LILAH by the wrist.) Just one more thing. We were never friends.

LILAH
No we weren't. But I understand you, and that's much more dangerous.
--------------------------------------------

LILAH
(Interview)
Even with everything that happened, we still finished second. We beat Lindsey. I was a better lawyer, and I'm a better dancer. I know you're watching, Lindsey. Waiting. To see who mentions you. Hmm. I wonder who Angel considers to be his rivals, don't you?
--------------------------------------------

(Rehearsal clip.)
(LILAH standing in the middle of the dance studio floor. ANGEL sits at one of the tables off to the side.)

LILAH
Are you coming or not? If we're gonna catch Buffy and Clem, we've got work to do.

ANGEL
Aren't you gonna use the fact that Spike tied us to motivate me? That's what he was carping about backstage.

LILAH
Only if having him tie you up will motivate you. Give me some credit. You'd see right through a lame ploy like that.
--------------------------------------------

ANGEL
(Interview)
Rivals? I hadn't thought about it that way. I suppose it'd be fun to beat Buffy, just to show her I can dance. And maybe Darla. (Looks off camera, listening to someone.) Spike? No, Spike's not my rival. You have to be on the same level as someone to be a rival. After last week, I think my biggest rival is Lilah.
--------------------------------------------

(Rehearsal clip.)
(ANGEL sits alone in the kitchenette, which has a television and DVR. He watches SPIKE and FAITH's routine from week one.)

ANGEL
(Muttering.) No way that routine's as good as ours.
--------------------------------------------

LILAH
(Interview)
I think we have an understanding. I let him have his way and take care of the ideas this week, but we'll do all right.
--------------------------------------------

(Montage ends.)

ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Quickstep, Lilah Morgan and Angel!

(LILAH stands on one edge of the stage wearing a long, grey dress with a hobble skirt. On her head is a large bonnet with lots of lace and flowers. She looks like a woman from the early 1900's.)

("Anything Goes" by Cole Porter plays.)

(LILAH steps daintily to the center of the stage, impeded by her skirt. Once in the center, she lifts the skirt ever so slightly to reveal just part of an ankle. ANGEL, dressed in a tuxedo, runs onto the dance floor from the audience and leers at her, giving a wolf whistle. As the prelude to the song ends and the faster beat kicks in, LILAH rips the dress off to reveal a sleek red dress with a high slit on the right side, much like a torch singer would wear. ANGEL feigns shock and staggers backward as LILAH descends the steps, tossing her bonnet aside. They take dance position and go into some standard Quickstep moves.)

(Cut to backstage, where XANDER and ANYA sit on the couch.)

ANYA
I'm glad she didn't try to dance in that hobble skirt. I hated those things. You could hardly even walk in them, unless you had one with the secret pleat or slit. I broke my nose once trying to walk in one. I took vengeance on a couple of men just for making their wives wear them. Thank goodness that fad didn't last long.

XANDER
Things are never dull around you, are they?

(ANYA smiles cheerfully)

(Cut to dance floor.)

(LILAH and ANGEL do a promenade run with lots of kicks and skips. They come to a stop and with their weight on one leg and the other leg pointed out to the side. With quick little hops, they switch supporting and pointed legs several times, then flow into some smoother Quickstep moves.)

(As the music comes to the end, ANGEL rolls LILAH out to one side, then rolls her back in again, catching her with her left side to him. She puts her left arm around his shoulders and lifts her right leg, which ANGEL catches in his hand and they pose there as the music hits its final chord. The CROWD cheers.)

(LILAH and ANGEL break the pose and walk over to LORNE at the Judges' Table.)

LORNE
Well, I didn't see anything offensive in that. Not even the ankle! But then, I didn't catch it last week either-- and I probably should have. Wesley, I'm almost afraid to ask, but what did you think of that routine?

WESLEY
It was perfectly acceptable. (CROWD applauds.) You both have long legs which allow you to move well over the floor. Unfortunately, while it was an adequate routine, it was rather lackluster. (CROWD boos.)

(LILAH looks pointedly at ANGEL.)

LORNE
Oz, what say you?

OZ
I agree with Wes. The dancing was good but it was uninspired. Whatever the issue was, last week had an edge that this week didn't.

(LILAH gives ANGEL another look.)

LORNE
And Drusilla?

DRUSILLA
I didn't like it as well as last week. (The CROWD boos. DRUSILLA glares at them and they fall silent. LILAH cringes and takes a deep breath.) It was still nice, but Daddy didn't sing to me tonight. How ever will I sleep now? --OH!

(Lilah jumps at DRUSILLA's exclamation in spite of herself, startled. ANGEL looks at her, puzzled, then nods in realization.)

DRUSILLA cont.
Oh, wait. I'll have a nice bedtime story after all. The next couple will have a lovely fall. He'll drop her. (Licks her lips.) There will be blood.

LORNE
Dru! You can't give away what's going to happen!

DRUSILLA
(Whines.) Now I'm hungry again.

LORNE
(Motions for LILAH and ANGEL to go backstage.) I'm going to have a nice bedtime story myself. It's all about a new judge next week! (Glares at DRUSILLA.)

(Cut to backstage, where LILAH and ANGEL stand with ILLYRIA. XANDER and ANYA sit on the couch behind, talking animatedly. ANGEL eyes ILLYRIA suspiciously, not taking his eyes off of her. LILAH notices this and smiles to herself.)

ILLYRIA
You have apparently not offended Mr. Percy this week.

(ANGEL raises an eyebrow at ILLYRIA. LILAH scowls at her.)

ILLYRIA cont.
But you have, apparently, bored him. Why do you wish to inflict inferior dance routines upon us? Is it a nefarious plan?

LILAH
(Jerking a thumb at ANGEL) He's the brains, Sweetheart.

ILLYRIA
You bestow a term of endearment upon me, yet we are barely acquainted. Do you harbor feelings for me, or do you use it as a term of worship?

LILAH
Wor-- no, I was quoting--

ILLYRIA
I accept your words of offering. The judges now have offerings of their own.

(Cut to Judges' Table.)

ANNOUNCER
The judges have their scores. Drusilla?

DRUSILLA
Eight. (CROWD cheers.)

ANNOUNCER
Wesley Wyndam-Price?

WESLEY
Eight. (CROWD cheers.)

ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?

OZ
Eight. (CROWD cheers.)

(Cut to backstage.)

ILLYRIA
The judges have given you twenty-four, which puts you in--

XANDER
I was not going to drop you!

ANYA
She said you were gonna drop me! And she has the sight, so she knows. You were gonna drop me!

XANDER
Um, not on purpose?

ILLYRIA
(Looks back at XANDER and ANYA, then speaks to LILAH and ANGEL.) You may leave now. They sound more interesting. (Cups hand to her ear as she walks toward the couch.) No. They sound more interesting. (Pulls the earpiece out of her ear and crushes it in one hand, then speaks to the broken device.) And I am no longer interested in anything you have to say.

ANYA
I can't believe you were gonna--

XANDER
Wait a minute, we took the lift out of our routine when we saw the judges chew out Spike and Lindsey. So how could I drop you?

ANYA
Yes. That's true. How could you drop me?

ILLYRIA
There are many ways. You will be dancing. You could easily stumble.

ANYA
That's true. I could stumble-- you probably trip me-- and you don't catch me and I fall.

XANDER
I am not going to drop you!

(Cut to LORNE.)

(LORNE is standing with head down, his hand on his forehead. He then realizes the camera is on him and gives it a big smile.)

LORNE
Our next couple started everything off last week with a Waltz. This week they'll finish things up with a Rumba. It's Xander and Anya!

(Cut to montage.)
--------------------------------------------

ANNOUNCER
Last week it appeared that Xander and Anya had some work to do.
--------------------------------------------

(Episode clip.)
(XANDER and ANYA stand with LORNE at the Judges' Table.)

WESLEY
Xander's movements, although adequate, were somewhat stiff. And Anya actually appeared to be doing most of the work.
-------------------------------------------

ANNOUNCER
Will the Rumba be kinder to them than the Waltz?
--------------------------------------------

XANDER
(Interview)
We've been working really hard this week. Illyria advised her to take control. Heh. You don't tell Ahn to take control.
--------------------------------------------

(Rehearsal clip.)
(XANDER and ANYA talking in a dance studio. ANYA holds a clipboard, and is looking at a piece of paper on it.)

ANYA
Lunch will be from 12:15 to 12:45, then we will practice straight through until dinner, at 5:00. If you have any questions about the routine, you may ask them at the post-dinner wrap-up session at 6:30. Any questions?

XANDER
Yeah, but I have to wait until 6:30 to ask them.

ANYA
(Smiling.) Now that's the spirit I like to see!
--------------------------------------------

ANYA
(Interview)
We definitely lacked some discipline in our training last week, so I've produced this schedule to help us stay on track. And I must say, he's done rather well at sticking to it! He only complained once.
--------------------------------------------

(Rehearsal clip.)
(XANDER and ANYA dancing. XANDER stops.)

ANYA
Why are you stopping?

XANDER
I know it's not 6:30, but is there any room in that schedule of yours for a bathroom break?

ANYA
Yes, there is. (Pulls a piece of paper out of her pocket and proudly shows it to him.) You see, right here at 9:45. During the time slot marked "Other."

XANDER
Oh. But it's almost 11 now.

ANYA
Yes. So?

XANDER
So I have to go!
--------------------------------------------

XANDER
(Interview)
I kind of feel like I owe her, so it's okay. It's just that… I know she's the teacher and all, and I'm sure teachers have to guide their students through the routines a lot, but this seems a little extreme.
--------------------------------------------

(Rehearsal clip.)
(ANYA dragging XANDER forcibly through some Rumba moves. XANDER stops.)

XANDER
Ow! You about gave me whiplash on that last move.

ANYA
I'm just ensuring that you do the move properly.

XANDER
I think I can raise my own arm at the right time.

ANYA
You heard the God-King last week. She said I needed to take control of you.

XANDER
(Muttering) You can't take what I never had.

ANYA
What?

XANDER
I said, "But the judges said that you were doing too much of the work."

ANYA
That's right. They did. All right, you lead the first half of the routine, and I'll lead the second half.
--------------------------------------------

XANDER
(Interview)
Well, at least we're making progress.
--------------------------------------------

(Montage ends.)

ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Rumba, Xander Harris and Anyanka!

(XANDER stands in the middle of the dance floor wearing a billowy black latin shirt and pants. ANYA stands on the stage with her back to the audience. She wears a short, white dress with lots of lace, and although it is cut like a Latin dress, it is reminiscent of a wedding dress. She holds a bouquet of flowers.)

("Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps" by Doris Day plays.)

(ANYA tosses the bouquet over her head and XANDER reaches to catch it, but it sails well wide of him. He looks momentarily confused, as if he was supposed to catch it.)

(ANYA descends the stairs as XANDER regroups and finds his place in the routine. He drops to one knee, facing her, hands clasped in front of him as if proposing. As she dances toward him, however, he suddenly turns his back on her by deftly switching the knee he is resting on. ANYA throws her hands out in mock exasperation, and dances around in front of him, but he does the knee turn again to turn his back to her. ANYA smiles and mimes an "a-ha" with one finger in the air, then reaches down to her calf and slides both hands suggestively up her leg, raising her skirt a bit as she does so. XANDER smiles lustily and looks back at her over his shoulder. ANYA points a finger at him and does a slow, grandiose "come hither" gesture, and XANDER turns to face her and stands in time with it. They take dance position and begin dancing some Rumba moves.)

(In a reversal of the norm, ANYA rolls XANDER out to her right side. He looks back at her, then away from her, then back and away again. ANYA snaps him sharply back to her and they resume dancing.)

(As the song nears the end, XANDER leads ANYA into a series of spins. He releases her and she spins away from him, as he does a series of turns in the opposite direction, stopping just shy of the end of the floor next to the Judges' Table. He drops to one knee, facing ANYA on the other side of the floor. ANYA stops turning, facing him. As the final chord of the song strikes, she turns her back to him and he drops to the floor, eyes closed with a hand over his heart.)

(The CROWD cheers. ANYA smiles and bounces once, pleased with the routine, then she turns and trots toward the Judges Table. XANDER waits a moment, then rolls over to look at the judges before starting to get up. He swings his legs out to a sitting position just as ANYA comes up behind him and she trips over his leg. She falls, banging her nose into the Judges' Table right in front of DRUSILLA.)

(LORNE rushes to help her up, and XANDER quickly hops to his feet to do the same.)

LORNE
(With XANDER, helping ANYA to her feet.) Are you okay, Pumpkin?

ANYA
(Holding her nose) By dose.

XANDER
(Looking at ANYA's feet) Your toes? They look all right to me.

ANYA
By dose! You brog by dose!

LORNE
Lemme see, lemme see. It's probably not broken, you just banged it. Here, hold this up to it to stop the bleeding. (Holds a handkerchief up to ANYA's nose.) Why don't you go backstage to see the medic?

ANYA
Doe, id's bedder dow. Led's hear da reviews.

LORNE
Well, okay then. Dru?

DRUSILLA
(Looking up, sucking on a finger that she had dipped in some of ANYA's blood that was on the table.) Hmmm?

ANYA
She was righd! You drobbed be!

XANDER
I didn't drop you! I "tribbed" you, maybe, but I didn't drop you. And I'm sorry!

ANYA
You were subbosed to wait for me to helb you ub.

XANDER
I'm sorry!

LORNE
Well, Dru, if you're finished snacking, what did you think of the routine?

DRUSILLA
It's demon blood, anyway. (Shakes her head.) The army marches well but we can't tell who the generals are. Switch, switch, switch. Too many chiefs.

LORNE
I think I actually followed that. I hate to add insult to injury, but Wes, what did you think?

WESLEY
I have never insulted anyone on this show. I merely give a true and accurate account of my perceptions of the dance. It is up to them whether they choose to see that as positive or negative. (Some laughs, some boos from the CROWD.) But I agree with Drusilla. Although tonight's effort was certainly better than last week, I felt that you couldn't quite decide who was leading. It was almost as if you'd divided the routine up 50-50. The result was that it sometimes looked like a tug-of-war. (CROWD boos.) That and the bouquet mix-up at the beginning threw things off a bit, but you recovered nicely. (Smattering of applause from the CROWD.)

LORNE
Okay, and Oz? You agree with him?

OZ
Pretty much.

LORNE
Anything else to add?

OZ
Just that she probably needs to go see the medic. She's getting blood on her dress.

DRUSILLA
Ooh, how pretty. I want a wedding dress like that.

LORNE
(Hurrying XANDER and ANYA off.) Yes, quickly, you go see the medic and you can skip talking to Illyria.

ILLYRIA
(From backstage, voice over.) The vengance demon was the only one I had been wanting to speak to.

LORNE
(Rolls his eyes.) Be that as it may, heh, let's go ahead and get the judges' scores.

ANNOUNCER
Will the judges please reveal their scores? Drusilla?

DRUSILLA
Eight, because I liked the blood. (CROWD ewws.)

ANNOUNCER
Wesley Wyndam-Price?

WESLEY
Seven. (CROWD boos.)

ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?

OZ
Seven. (CROWD groans.)

LORNE
That leaves Xander and Anya with a score of twenty-two. So with all the scores in, let's go now and take a look at the Leader Board.

(Cut to graphic listing the names of the couples and their scores as follows:

Clem & Buffy...27
Harmony & Giles...26
Lilah & Angel...24
Gunn & Cordelia...23
Sebassis & Willow...22
Xander & Anya...22
Darla & Lindsey...19
Spike & Faith...18

(Cut back to LORNE)

LORNE cont.
And now it's time for you to vote! Voting begins immediately, and will continue for almost two weeks! There will be no episode next week, and we'll return in two weeks with our Results Show, when we'll combine the results of the voting with the judges' scores to find out which couple will be eliminated from the competition! The rules for voting are next. Thank you for watching Dancing With The Demons!

(Theme music plays, credits roll.)

RULES FOR VOTING
You may vote for all but one couple. You do not have to use all your votes.

Every vote recorded before the close of voting will count, and every couple needs your vote to avoid elimination. For instance, if no one votes for the couple in first place on the leader board, that couple will most likely be eliminated, even though they are in first place! Voting will close at midnight GMT Monday, March 19. Any votes cast after the voting closes will not be counted. So vote for your favorites, and we'll see you on Thursday, March 22 for the next Dancing With The Demons Results Show!

For those without an LJ account, you can post your votes in comments or e-mail me your vote