Title: Dancing
With the Demons, Episode 3 (Part 2)
Author: redsrule1
Fandoms:
Buffy, Angel, Dancing With the Stars
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I
didn't make up the characters, the music, the shows, or the dances. I
just live them sometimes.
Pairings: Gen
Characters: Just about
everyone
Author's Notes: Thanks to yourlibrarian
for the beta.
Summary: Nine couples, ONE winner, and you choose
who becomes the champion!
LORNE
And
we're back, to DANCING WITH THE DEMONS! Before the break,
Lilah and Angel danced a hot, hot Mambo for us. Now it's time to see
how hot the judges' scores are.
ANNOUNCER
The judges
have their scores. Drogyn the
Battlebrand?
DROGYN
Eight.
ANNOUNCER
Wesley
Wyndam-Price?
WESLEY
Eight.
ANNOUNCER
Daniel
Osbourne?
OZ
Eight.
(Cut to backstage, where LILAH and ANGEL stand with ILLYRIA. GUNN and CORDELIA sit on the couch in the background.)
ILLYRIA
The judges have
given you a twenty-four. This puts you in last place.
ANGEL
Hey,
only one other couple has danced so far.
ILLYRIA
And
they scored better than you by one point. This puts you in last
place.
ANGEL
But not for long.
ILLYRIA
That
remains to be seen.
LILAH
Well, there's no way the
other five couples are all gonna score better than
twenty-four.
ILLYRIA
You are probably correct. But
as we have dismissed the only one among us with The Sight, there is
no way to know that for certain.
CORDELIA
I
have The Sight.
ILLYRIA
(Eyes CORDELIA
suspiciously.) Do you? You have not mentioned this
previously.
CORDELIA
Saw no reason to.
ILLYRIA
If
you have The Sight, then you can tell us if these two will remain in
last place.
(Cut to LORNE)
LORNE
Well done!
Next up, they finished sixth with their Cha Cha, and fourth with
their Rumba. Can they continue their climb with the tango? Here's
Gunn and Cordelia!
(Cut to
montage.)
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Round
Two saw an improvement over their first round
scores.
--------------------------------------------
(Episode
clip.)
(GUNN and CORDELIA stand at the Judges' Table with
LORNE.)
WESLEY
Your hard work is evident and tonight
you've shown me that you could last if you keep it
up.
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Can
they maintain their rise with their
Tango?
--------------------------------------------
GUNN
(Interview.)
Now
this is what I'm talkin' about! The other dances were cool, but now I
finally get to do one of the tuxedo dances! I was gonna be mad if we
got eliminated before I got a chance to wear a tux. And I want a
number. I wanna wear a number on my back like they do on
TV.
--------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.)
(GUNN and CORDELIA standing in a dance
studio.)
CORDELIA
Absolutely not!
GUNN
Why
not? It would be cool!
CORDELIA
It would be
ridiculous!
GUNN
It would be sweet!
CORDELIA
It
would be hideous. And besides, you're not even gonna be wearing a
tux!
GUNN
WHAT?
--------------------------------------------
CORDELIA
(Interview.)
Gunn's
pretty excited about doing the Tango. And it's about time I don't
have to worry about his hips. Why should I have to worry about him
all the time anyway? Why should I be penalized because he
can't do something? It's not fair. They should have solo categories
like they do in figure skating. They should also let me have more
input on my costumes. Did you see that supposed "Latin"
dress they had me in last week? Who ever heard of a long-skirted
Latin dress?
--------------------------------------------
(Backstage
clip.)
(CORDELIA enters the wardrobe room for the show. An
50-something woman, a 20-something woman, and a man who's probably
closer to 40 but looks as if he'd still rather be closer to 20, all
look up from the clothes they are working on.)
CORDELIA
(Flashing
her Oscar smile.) Hi, girls! Oh, and Craig! It's me!
OLDER
WOMAN
(To YOUNGER WOMAN) Oh God, it's her.
YOUNGER
WOMAN
(Forcing a smile.) What can we do for you today,
Cor--
CORDELIA
(Hunching uninvited over the YOUNGER
WOMAN's shoulder.) Whaddaya got for me this week, Christy? (Picks up
dress.) This looks pretty. I like that high slit.
CHRISTY
I'm
not working on you this week. This is for Buffy. Dottie's got
you.
(DOTTIE scowls at CHRISTY, who gives her an apologetic smile and shoulder shrug.)
CORDELIA
(Her bright,
toothy smile fades into a half-sneer as she unceremoniously drops the
dress back onto the sewing table.) Really? Are you sure you want to
show that much leg? I mean, seriously. Sticks. Am I right,
Craig?
CRAIG
I didn't design it.
CORDELIA
Oh,
I could tell you didn't! Your designs are always so good! I could
tell you didn't design my Latin dress last week, either. Between you
and me, I mean, come on, a full-length Latin dress? You're supposed
to show it off in Latin, and baby, I got it to show off! You know
what I mean, don't you, Craig? But they covered it up. And they gave
Faith, of all people, the sheer dress. Who wants to see that skank in
a sheer dress? What were they thinking? Do you wanna see Faith in a
sheer dress, Craig?
CRAIG
Not
particularly.
CORDELIA
See, ladies? Take it from a
man. Buffy? Faith? A real man doesn't want to see them in revealing
outfits. He wants to see a real woman like me in a skimpy outfit,
don't you, Craig? So who's got me this week?
CRAIG and
CHRISTY
(In unison, pointing at DOTTIE.)
Dottie!
CORDELIA
Dottie! My favorite! I should have
known. How are you, Sweetie? You got a nice sexy dress for me this
week, right hon? (Picks up the dress DOTTIE is working on. Pins fall
out and a strap comes loose.) Black, huh? I can do black. (Points to
above her hip.) Maybe with a slit up to here and I can wear black
hose-- or maybe fishnet. (Plops dress back down on DOTTIE's table.)
Not like that thing I wore last week, huh?
DOTTIE
I
designed th--
CORDELIA
Oh, and one more thing,
Dottie. Gunn might be in here asking you to put him in a tux and put
a number on his back. But we have kind of a comedy routine this week,
so it wouldn't go. I know he can be kind of annoying sometimes, but
he can also be persistent, so just ignore him and I'll try to keep
him out of your hair so you can get your work done, okay? 'Kay.
Thanks! (Blows kiss and leaves the
room.)
--------------------------------------------
GUNN
(Interview)
But
Tango's harder than I expected. And you're supposed to dance in body
contact with your right hip bone in her belly button, and that gets
kinda uncomfortable, especially since I dress to the right if you
know what I mean. Cordy's great an' all, and well, I could do worse
in this afterlife, but I don't wanna be givin' out free samples,
y'know? Besides, that position can get dangerous for a
guy.
--------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.)
(GUNN and CORDELIA dancing in a studio. They stop
abruptly.)
GUNN
(Hunching over.)
OW!
CORDELIA
What?
GUNN
Wait a
minute! (Turns his back to CORDELIA and the camera.)
CORDELIA
What
are you doing?
GUNN
Is the camera
on?
CORDELIA
(Looks at the camera.) Yeah.
GUNN
Then
I can't tell
you.
--------------------------------------------
CORDELIA
(Interview.)
The
body contact was a little disruptive. He kept shiftin' around. Like
I've never felt one before. I mean, why should he get all uptight
about a little thing like
that?
--------------------------------------------
(Montage ends.)
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Tango: Charles Gunn and
Cordelia Chase!
(GUNN stands in the middle of the dance floor wearing a tuxedo with tail coat, and with the number "10" on his back.)
("The Addams Family" theme song begins to play.)
(GUNN clasps his right hand to his chest and extends his left arm out to the side, and starts to step in the direction of his outstretched arm, pretending to dance. A three-foot high mound of hair waddles onto the stage, wearing sunglasses and a derby hat. GUNN dances to the foot of the stairs and reaches his hands out toward the creature, inviting Itt to join him in a dance. At this point, CORDELIA springs up from a crouch, throwing off the "Cousin Itt" costume and leaping off of the stage into GUNN's arms in one motion. CORDELIA is dressed in a black dress which is long in the back but short in the front, and wears black fishnet stockings. They take dance hold and break into some standard Tango moves.)
(Cut to backstage, where SEBASSIS and WILLOW sit on the couch.)
WILLOW
I
knew it was just a matter of time before she started to dress like a
professional.
SEBASSIS
(A tiny pleased smile
crosses his mouth.) You truly have adopted a winning attitude,
my dear.
(Cut to dance floor. GUNN leads CORDELIA into a checking motion then gives her a twist as he steps sharply forward with his right foot. This pops her right leg out away from him and she kicks it high, then circles it in a rondé. The front of her dress tumbles down to full length, matching the back.)
(Cut to backstage.)
WILLOW
To vote for Cordelia, dial
1-800-I'm a--
(Cut to ballroom.)
(GUNN steps backward into a lunge, keeping his right foot pointed in front of him. CORDELIA slides down his body and outstretched leg, until she lands on the floor in an extended line as the music ends. She quickly and almost imperceptibly moves some fabric to reveal her outstretched leg. The CROWD cheers.)
(GUNN stands and helps CORDELIA to her feet, and they walk up to the Judges' Table and LORNE.)
LORNE
That
was quite a finish there. Don't forget your Tribble,
though.
(CORDELIA's smile to LORNE falters for a moment. GUNN laughs and runs to pick up CORDELIA's "Cousin Itt" costume, then returns.)
LORNE cont.
So let's see what the
judges thought. Drogyn, you go first.
DROGYN
It was
an enjoyable routine, well danced. (CROWD cheers.) I wasn't sure what
was going on with the dress there, but it didn't really detract from
the overall effect.
CORDELIA
Well I told Dottie I
wanted a short dress, so I pinned it up before we went on, but I
guess it didn't hold. You might wanna check for pins on the
floor.
LORNE
We'll do that. Drogyn, that's it? No
glissandos in the thirty-fourth measure?
DROGYN
That's
because you finally did not ask me what I thought. I think many
things. I don't always say them all unless--
LORNE
Yeah,
okay, I get the picture. I think I'll be more careful about my word
choice, what do you think?
DROGYN
(Sighs and glares
at LORNE.) I think that it has taken you an inordinate amount of time
to reach that conclusion. I would have thought that you'd have
realized that after the first mistake you made, and I actually cannot
believe that you just--
LORNE
Okay, okay! Case in
point. How about you, Mr. Congeniality?
WESLEY
I
think you should have figured that out sooner, as well.
OZ
Yeah,
I was wonderin'.
LORNE
About the dance,
smartass.
WESLEY
(Smiling, pleased with his own
joke.) It was a better dance than your Latin dances. (CROWD
applauds.) I think you enjoy that macho Tango image.
GUNN
Got
that right.
LORNE
And you, Oz? Surely you have a
word or two to contribute.
OZ
Watch out for heel
leads. Tango uses the heel as you step forward. You missed a lot of
them. (CROWD boos. OZ looks at WESLEY.) You're right, that's no
fun.
LORNE
All right. And by the way, Gunn, is there
any significance to the number on your back?
GUNN
That's
the score we want from the judges!
LORNE
(Motioning
for GUNN and CORDELIA to go backstage.) I should have guessed. Well,
we'll have to see if the power of suggestion works on these guys.
Let's go backstage now, to Illyria.
(Cut to backstage. ILLYRIA stands with GUNN and CORDELIA. SEBASSIS and WILLOW sit on the couch in the background.)
ILLYRIA
There is now a superior
intelligence lodged in the Bespectacled One's
entrails?
GUNN
What?
CORDELIA
First
of all, why are you calling him that, and secondly, what does that
have to do with us?
ILLYRIA
I have been advised to
choose an adopted name for Judge Wesley as this seems to be the
custom. As to your second question, it pertains to you not at all as
I have little interest in conversing with you other
than--
CORDELIA
You know, I've had just about
enough--
GUNN
Down, girl. Don't take it personal.
Illyria here doesn't have much interest in conversing with
anybody.
ILLYRIA
Charles Gunn is correct. I
hold you in no more contempt than any of the other vermin infesting
this world. However, you interrupted me, a sin I'd advise you not to
commit a second time. You claim to have The Sight. To prove this, you
will now tell me what scores you are about to receive.
CORDELIA
It
doesn't work that way.
GUNN
She doesn't get visions
on demand. They're sorta random.
ILLYRIA
Then since
you have failed your test, we shall hear the judges announce the
scores themselves.
(Cut to Judges' Table.)
ANNOUNCER
Will
the judges please reveal their scores? Drogyn The
Battlebrand?
DROGYN
Eight.
ANNOUNCER
Wesley
Wyndam-Price?
WESLEY
Eight.
ANNOUNCER
Daniel
Osbourne?
OZ
Seven.
(Cut to backstage.)
ILLYRIA
The judges have assigned you a
score of twenty-three, which now puts you in last place. Did you
forsee your last place finish?
CORDELIA
I foresee my
fist and your face.
ILLYRIA
An empty threat does not
qualify you as a Seer. I did not suppose that you truly were,
otherwise what point would there have been in you entering this
competition in the first place?
GUNN
Unless we're
the winners.
ILLYRIA
(Cocks her head and frowns.)
That is true, Charles Gunn. (Narrows her eyes and looks at CORDELIA.)
What have you foreseen?
CORDELIA
Why, what are you
afraid I've seen?
ILLYRIA
Nothing. It is time to
return the program to the Host.
(Cut to LORNE.)
LORNE
No,
don't mind us. We've only got four more couples to get through, we
can wait. But our next couple can't. They were in the Bottom Two last
time. Will they avoid it this time? It's Sebassis and Willow.
(Cut
to
montage.)
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Last
episode, Sebassis and Willow found themselves in the Bottom
Two.
--------------------------------------------
(Episode
clip.)
(A red spotlight hits SEBASSIS and WILLOW. Her eyes grow
wide as she sucks in a deep breath and holds it nervously. SEBASSIS'
head is raised and his eyes are narrowed regally.)
LORNE
You
are in the Bottom
Two.
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Will
they be able to bounce
back?
--------------------------------------------
SEBASSIS
(Interview.)
Being
close to elimination seems to have given Miss Rosenberg extra drive
and focus.
--------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.)
(SEBASSIS sits at a table in the dance studio, sipping from
a glass. The SLAVE is putting a cork back into his arm, and ARTODE
stands nearby.)
(WILLOW bursts into the room.)
WILLOW
All
right, get up! Let's get goin'! You're not gonna win this thing
sittin' around drinkin' slave juice!
(SEBASSIS freezes, startled, his cup raised halfway to his mouth, an eyebrow raised curiously. ARTODE looks menacingly at WILLOW, and the SLAVE's eyes are wide.)
WILLOW
Come on, let's go! We got lots of
work to do! (To camera) I can't believe I just said "slave
juice" without flinching.
Yargh.
--------------------------------------------
WILLOW
(Interview.)
I've
faced demons, vampires, monsters, and Cordelia. But when that red
light hit me, that was the scariest thing ever. It was a wake-up
call.
--------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.)
(SEBASSIS and WILLOW practicing, ARTODE and the SLAVE play
cards at one of the tables.)
WILLOW
(Stopping the
dance.) No, no, no!
SEBASSIS
I'm sorry, wasn't it
supposed to be the left foot?
WILLOW
Yes, but your
other left foot! Let's do it again! We've only got three more
days to get it right! (Sees ARTODE and the SLAVE.) And what are you
two doing lazing around? You! Get over there and give him more juice!
And you! Get over there! That camera's not gonna block itself!
Go!
--------------------------------------------
SEBASSIS
(Interview.)
She
seemed to be taking things rather personally, as if she feels that a
poor critique of her dancing is equivalent to a poor critique of her
personality. I think it has forced her to tap into something deep
inside her that she otherwise would not bring
out.
--------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.)
(SEBASSIS and WILLOW talking in a dance
studio.)
SEBASSIS
You don't have to do that, you
know.
WILLOW
I'm through foolin' around. No more Mr.
Nice Witch. -- or Warlock. --or Ms. Nice Witch. No more! Do you want
to win or not?
SEBASSIS
Very
well.
--------------------------------------------
WILLOW
We
worked extra-hard this week on that Tango. And Sebassis did a good
job, except --well, you know how Tango is real sharp and you have
those quick head snaps an' all? Horns make that really
scary.
--------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.)
(SEBASSIS and WILLOW dancing. ARTODE and the SLAVE stand at
the ready by the side of the floor. SEBASSIS and WILLOW stop dancing
right in front of them.)
WILLOW
Okay, here would be
where you snap your head back and forth.
SEBASSIS
Like
so? (Emphatically turns his head first right, then left. His horn
strikes the side of WILLOW's head.)
WILLOW
Aaaah!
(Ducks.)
(ARTODE and the SLAVE step forward to assist.)
SEBASSIS
(Turning his head quickly back to
look at WILLOW, and striking the SLAVE with his horn as he does so.)
What happened?
SLAVE
Oww!
(WILLOW starts to stand upright but ducks again as SEBASSIS turns his head to look at the SLAVE.)
SEBASSIS
What?
(SEBASSIS notices that WILLOW is crouched on the floor, and bends over to help her up. ARTODE does the same.)
WILLOW
No, just stand up and
stop shaking your head!
(Confused, SEBASSIS tries to stand up quickly, attempting to regain some dignity.)
SEBASSIS
I'm
sorry, but I thought you asked me
to--
ARTODE
Unnnnh.
SEBASSIS
Artode,
what are you doing? Let me stand!
(ARTODE stands erect, an action which yanks SEBASSIS' head up as well. SEBASSIS' left horn is lodged in ARTODE's right shoulder.)
WILLOW
Oh my
God!
SEBASSIS
What's going on? Why can't I move my
head? Wait-- now why is my head moving from side to
side?
WILLOW
Artode, I think you'd better sit down--
(SEBASSIS' head is jerked backward.) NOT YET! Wait a minute -- Slave,
go-- do you even have a real name?
SLAVE
My
master calls me "Slave" so that is my
name.
SEBASSIS
(Impatiently) What is going
on?
WILLOW
Oh, right! Go to the kitchenette, there's
some bandages in the cabinet over the sink. (SEBASSIS tries to step
forward, is unable to.) NOT YOU! (To SLAVE) Go!
(The SLAVE runs to the kitchenette, as WILLOW grabs SEBASSIS' horn in one hand and places the other hand on ARTODE's chest, then pulls and pushes until the horn is freed. WILLOW presses one hand over the wound and leads ARTODE to sit down in a chair. The SLAVE returns with a bandage and WILLOW begins to dress the wound.)
SEBASSIS
Oh,
I see. Perhaps I did not fully consider the consequences of having my
horns sharpened
yesterday.
--------------------------------------------
WILLOW
(Interview.)
I'm
kinda hoping we'll get to do Paso Doble, 'cause that's about
bullfighting and, you know, horns. (Puts her fists on either side of
her head and points her index fingers, simulating
horns.)
--------------------------------------------
ARTODE
(Interview.)
(Right
arm in a sling, he reads from a paper he holds in his left hand.) "I,
Artode, recognize the risks inherent in any dance competition and do
not hold the participants or crew of the show, its producers, the
network, or its affiliates responsible for my injury. I also hereby
release the Watchers' Council and Wolfram & Hart from any and all
claims, now and in
perpetuity."
--------------------------------------------
WILLOW
(Interview.)
We'll
be around for the Paso Doble. (Points to her "Resolved Face".)
I am not gonna be the next one to go
home!
--------------------------------------------
(Montage ends.)
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Tango, The Archduke
Sebassis and Willow Rosenberg!
(WILLOW stands in the middle of the dance floor wearing a white blouse and a brown jumper)
("Temptation" begins to play.)
(SEBASSIS enters at the top of the stage, wearing a tuxedo with tail coat. WILLOW turns her head to look at him, then turns it away again. SEBASSIS decends the steps down to the dance floor, and beckons to WILLOW with his fingers. WILLOW shakes her head, putting her hands up to shield him from her gaze.)
(SEBASSIS continues to beckon to her as he comes closer, until he finally grabs her by the shoulders and sways her side to side as he gazes into her eyes, enthralling her. He releases her and sways side to side much like Fred Astaire, and WILLOW matches his movements. Suddenly he reaches out and pulls her to him, takes her into dance hold and dances her into some Tango moves.)
(SEBASSIS rolls WILLOW out to the side, then back in, then out again. Each time, WILLOW shields her face from him with her free hand. He rolls her back in once more and this time grabs her outfit and pulls. The clothes tear away to reveal a long sleeved black leotard. WILLOW simultaneously grabs her hair, pulls it over her face, than off of her head, revealing her actual hair, dyed black, underneath, and leaving black veins drawn on her face.)
(They take dance hold again and dance more risque moves, with lots of sharp snaps and turns. As the music nears its climax, they begin to spin in place, still in dance hold, faster and faster until the music hits its final chord, when SEBASSIS drops to one knee and WILLOW freezes, facing the judges, both hands in front of her and fingers spread wide, as if casting a spell. The CROWD delays for a second, then cheers.)
(The SLAVE emerges from backstage to retrieve the discarded costuming and disappears again as SEBASSIS escorts WILLOW to the Judges' Table and LORNE.)
LORNE
Oh, my
goodness! That was an interesting Tango-- and kinda creepy! You even
had the audience speechless for a moment! And here's another guy
who's often speechless: Oz?
OZ
I'm rarely
speechless. I just use an economy of words.
LORNE
The
result is the same. So whaddaya think?
OZ
It kinda
troubled me. Seemed a little close to home. But the dancing was
pretty good although you were missin' some heel leads, too. (CROWD
boos.)
LORNE
Okay. At least you tied the record of
three sentences from Oz. Drogyn, please summarize the highlights of
your thoughts on this routine.
DROGYN
(Nods.) All in
all, an adequate routine and a commendable effort. (CROWD cheers.
DROGYN looks at them, momentarily startled.) However, my colleague
was correct when he said that heel leads were lacking, and may I also
add that there was too much movement in the frame. (CROWD boos.
DROGYN scowls at them, then continues, somewhat distractedly.) Your
arms need to remain steady.
LORNE
All right, then.
And now for Mr. Congeniality.
WESLEY
First of all,
I'm wondering how you made the veins appear.
WILLOW
Water-activated
makeup. I had a moist cloth inside the wig.
WESLEY
Very
clever. Well, I must say, the routine was a bit disturbing, given
what I know of your past, but all in all an enjoyable routine. (CROWD
cheers.)
LORNE
All right. You two go backstage and
talk to Illyria. (SEBASSIS and WILLOW step off camera.) So, Wes, you
got anything to say about the heel leads? The unsteady
frame?
WESLEY
No. Nothing at all, Lorne. (CROWD
applauds.)
LORNE
Uh huh. You're not gonna make it
through this whole program.
WESLEY
I'm enjoying my
sixty minutes of popularity, Lorne.
LORNE
Enjoy it
while it lasts. Illyria?
(Cut to backstage. ILLYRIA stands with SEBASSIS and WILLOW. HARMONY and GILES sit on the couch in the background.)
ILLYRIA
That routine was acceptable to
me. Its subject matter pleased me.
SEBASSIS
Coming
from you, your grace, that is a compliment.
ILLYRIA
(To
WILLOW) What does Mr. Congeniality know about your past that disturbs
him?
WILLOW
(Frowns.) "Mr.
Congeniality?"
ILLYRIA
Yes. I, too, do not like
this "Congeniality" person he is attempting to
emulate.
WILLOW
If you're gonna have a pet name for
him, you should try something other than that.
ILLYRIA
"Pet"
name?
WILLOW
Yeah. Like-- like-- "Honey Bear"
or-- or "Sweet Baboo."
(GILES snorts.)
HARMONY
Or
like "Blondie Bear!" --But you can't use that one 'cause
it's taken.
ILLYRIA
I will take that under
advisement. Meanwhile, you will take the judges' scores under
advisement.
(Cut to Judges' Table.)
ANNOUNCER
The
judges have their scores. Drogyn The
Battlebrand?
DROGYN
Seven.
ANNOUNCER
Wesley
Wyndam-Price?
WESLEY
Eight.
ANNOUNCER
Daniel
Osbourne?
OZ
Seven.
(Cut to backstage.)
ILLYRIA
You have received a score of
twenty-two, which now puts you in last place.
WILLOW
Maybe
twenty-two is our lucky number. We've gotten it every
round.
SEBASSIS
We are truly
consistent.
ILLYRIA
But you are not
improving.
WILLOW
But we're not getting
worse!
ILLYRIA
Constistent mediocrity is hardly a
meaningful source of pride. Improve, or be gone.
SEBASSIS
We
shall heed your words, eminence.
ILLYRIA
See that
you do. You are dismissed. (Looks at the camera.) You are dismissed
as well.
(Cut to LORNE)
LORNE
Did I see an
actual segue back there from our Co-Host? There's hope yet! Anyway,
our next couple went from the bottom two to the top two. It's Harmony
and Giles!
(Cut to
montage.)
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Last
week, their Quickstep inspired a good review from even the hardest
judge!
--------------------------------------------
(Episode
clip.)
(HARMONY and GILES stand with LORNE at the Judges'
Table.)
WESLEY
(Wearing HARMONY's red feather boa
around his neck.) Your footwork was impeccable, and you kept the
smooth parts flowing. Well
done!
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Was
it a flash in the pan or can they build on their
success?
--------------------------------------------
HARMONY
(Squeals.)
Oh, my God! That was so great getting such a good score last week! I
think I've really grown as a dancer! And as a person. And our
partnership has grown. I feel like Giles really trusts me
now!
--------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.)
(GILES lies asleep on a couch in the kitchenette. HARMONY
stands beside the couch, bent over and closely looking at him. She is
in vamp face and has blood on her lips and holds a
mug.)
HARMONY
Gilesie? Are you asleep? You told me
to wake you up at 2:30. Rest period's over.
GILES
(Sleepily)
Yes. What? Yes. (Opens his eyes, sees HARMONY.) Auuggh!
(GILES sits bolt upright, cracking his head into HARMONY's as he does so.)
HARMONY
(Staggering backwards, and spilling the
contents of her mug.) Ow!
(GILES reaches under the couch for a cross and holds it out.)
HARMONY cont.
What are you
doing? Where'd you get that?
GILES
(Feels his neck
and looks at his hand, now with blood on it.) Look!
Blood!
HARMONY
(Returning to regular face.) Yeah,
you made me spill my
drink!
--------------------------------------------
GILES
(Interview.)
I
was pleased with how we performed in the previous round. It was
definitely an improvement over our showing in Round One. But I fear
that our improvement wasn't so much a matter of fitting Harmony to
the dance as it was a matter of fitting the dance to Harmony. It may
have been as much coincidence as skill. I'm afraid the Mambo may not
suit her um, personality quite as well as the Quickstep did. I
wanted to get across to her the idea that one needs to control one's
emotions and channel that energy into excellence in performance. So
we volunteered to go on a publicity junket to see a football --er,
soccer game. And fortunately, David Beckham now plays for the
local club. If anyone can show her skill and finesse in an athletic
endeavor, and competitive ballroom dancing is most certainly that, it
would be Beckham. A learning opportunity for Harmony, and a treat for
me to see as well. She appeared to be interested, and to understand,
so I think it was time well
spent.
--------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
Clip)
(HARMONY and GILES are at an L.A. Galaxy soccer game, in the
stands.)
STADIUM P.A. ANNOUNCER
Please rise as we
honor America with our national anthem.
(BOTH stand. HARMONY begins to sing as the "Star Spangled Banner" begins to play. GILES remains silent.)
HARMONY
(Quietly to
GILES) Why aren't you singing?
GILES
(Cups his hand
to his ear to hear her over the music) I'm British.
HARMONY
(Cupping
her hand over her ear to hear him) So?
GILES
So it
may surprise you to learn that most of the world doesn't sing this
anthem. At least, not yet, anyway. In Britian, for instance, we still
sing "God Save The Queen."
HARMONY
"Something
by Queen?" Just any song by Queen?
GILES
What?
"God Save The Queen."
Yes.
--------------------------------------------
HARMONY
(Interview.)
He
took me to some boring soccer game one night when he got tired of
practicing. I guess he's trying to bond with me, to make our dance
partnership stronger, so I went along with it. He kept trying to
explain the game to me but I was bored so I just nodded and ignored
him and tried to figure out what I was gonna wear tomorrow. But he's
English so he likes stuff like soccer, and books, you know, boring
stuff. Did you know they don't sing the National Anthem in England?
They sing some other song by Queen, instead. I never knew that. It
must be weird growing up in some other country and never getting to
sing the National Anthem and be patriotic. Anyway, I decided to wear
the pink camisole and Giles thought it really helped our practicing
so it was a good
choice.
--------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip.)
(HARMONY and GILES dancing in a dance studio. They stop,
obviously tired.)
GILES
Well done, Harmony. But we'd
best go through it once more to make sure we've got
it.
HARMONY
(Sighs.) Again? Then can we skip working
on the hips today?
GILES
I'm afraid not. You were
forty-five minutes late today, and that's thrown us off
schedule.
HARMONY
Well, it's not my fault! I
had decided to wear the pink camisole last night, but then this
morning I was kinda in a blue sorta mood, so I thought maybe I should
wear the blue one instead but then I thought if I'm already blue, the
blue one will just make me bluer so I should wear the pink one to
cheer me up and it worked 'cause I got the step right!
GILES
Truly
the color of your clothing has a significant impact upon the efficacy
of our practices.
HARMONY
Exactly! See, you get it!
(Gives GILES a hug.) Most men wouldn't understand unless they're gay.
But you're British so it's okay and I know that's why you used that
one word I didn't understand. Bohemian Rhapsody
forever!
-------------------------------------------
GILES
(Interview.)
Although
I've tried to make it clear that there will be nothing between us, I
think we can use that flirtatiousness to our advantage for the
Mambo.
--------------------------------------------
(Rehearsal
clip)
(HARMONY and GILES sit on the couch in the kitchenette. The
TV is on in the background, but GILES is not watching
it.)
GILES
Ahem.
(HARMONY stares transfixed at the TV.)
GILES
Er, Harmony?
HARMONY
(Still
looking at TV.) Uh huh?
GILES
Erm, about that hug
yesterday
HARMONY
Omigod! Did I squeeze too hard? I
didn't mean to use my vampire super-strength!
GILES
No,
it's perfectly all right. It's just that-- I know that the Latin
dances can get quite risque, and, well, that sort of thing shouldn't
be going on. Perhaps if I were younger--
HARMONY
Oh,
I totally understand! I'll make sure that doesn't happen
again! But really, I'm not sure you could handle it even if you
weren't so old.
GILES
Ahem. Er, yes, quite.
Too-- too much for me to handle. Precisely. I-- it's not you, it's
me.
--------------------------------------------
GILES
(Interview.)
I
just hope they've chosen the proper colour for her dance costume this
week.
--------------------------------------------
ANNOUNCER
Dancing
the Mambo: Harmony Kendall and Rupert Giles!
(GILES stands alone in the middle of the floor. He wears a grey suit that is a couple of inches too short in the legs and jacket sleeves, a bow tie, white socks, and black dance shoes. His hair is greased back like Pee Wee Herman's, and he wears black, thick-framed glasses. He takes a couple steps in various directions, as if trying to figure out what is going on.)
("Tequila" by The Champs plays.)
(GILES begins to dance awkwardly, bending slightly at the waist and pumping his fists twice in front of him then twice behind him, and continues alternating front to back as he takes one step forward for every two fist pumps.)
(HARMONY walks onto the stage and strikes a sexy pose, one hand on her hip and one on the back of her head. She is wearing a revealing red two-piece outfit, with a piece of sheer red material trailing from one side of her waistband, and red, high-heeled shoes. GILES, still slightly bent at the waist, stops and gawks at her, letting his arms fall limp in front of him. HARMONY flits down from the stage and grabs the sheer material in her hand. Flirting with GILES, she drapes the material over his head. GILES just stands with mouth gaping. After a bit more flirting, HARMONY grabs GILES' shoulders from behind and straightens him up, then walks in front of him and places his right hand on her bare back. GILES turns away and covers his eyes, grinning shyly from ear to ear. HARMONY repeats the action, this time suceeding in getting into dance hold. She wiggles her hips suggestively, and GILES mimics her. His hips continue to wiggle, leading him into dancing some Mambo moves.
(Cut to backstage, where XANDER and ANYA sit on the couch.)
XANDER
(Covering his eyes.) Oh my
God, I can't watch that!
ANYA
Watch
what?
XANDER
Giles' hips. You shouldn't see a
librarian moving like that. It's-- just wrong.
ANYA
After
seeing Sebassis in that speedo in Round One, I don't think anything
else we could possibly see would be more disturbing.
XANDER
No.
This is worse. It's like walking in on your parents having-- I can't
even say it. Don't wanna picture
Giles--
ANYA
"Intercourse?"
XANDER
Gyaaah!
Geez! Don't! An' I thought walking in on him singing was bad
enough!
(GILES leads HARMONY in a series of turns, then they do a series of hip grinds with each other.)
(Cut to backstage.)
XANDER
(Covers his eyes again.) I knew I
shouldn'ta looked. Tell me when it's over.
(Cut to
ballroom.)
(HARMONY and GILES dance a couple more Mambo moves,
then she gives him a peck on the cheek and starts to strut away.
GILES covers the kiss with his hand, with a surprised expression on
his face. HARMONY stops at the foot of the stage stairs and turns to
face GILES and the audience, striking her opening pose as she does
so. GILES runs up to her and jumps into her arms, and she catches him
in a cradle hold as the music ends. The CROWD cheers.)
(HARMONY carries GILES to the Judges' Table and LORNE.)
LORNE
I'm
sure there's lots of guys in the audience who would like to be you
right now, Giles!
(The masculine part of the CROWD cheers, and a wolf whistle sounds. A feminine squeal is heard.)
LORNE
Not
sure I wanna know about that one!
GILES
(Looking at
the audience.) I do.
OZ
Me too.
WESLEY
And
me.
DROGYN
I, too, would be interested to know where
that came from.
LORNE
Okay, you guys, stop drooling.
Harm, you can probably set him down now, Sweetcakes.
HARMONY
Oh.
(Sets GILES down.)
LORNE
Okay Drogyn, just the
Cliff's Notes version.
DROGYN
"Cliff's
Notes?"
LORNE
The main points.
DROGYN
Oh.
It was an entertaining routine. (CROWD cheers. DROGYN smiles.)
However, I was distracted by the fact that you were often breaking on
the "1" instead of the "2" beat. (CROWD boos.
DROGYN frowns.) It was also too bouncy for a Mambo. (CROWD boos.
DROGYN stands threateningly. The CROWD falls silent.)
OZ
(To
WESLEY) Maybe that's what you should have done,
Dude.
WESLEY
Perhaps. Do you think it would have
that same effect?
OZ
No.
LORNE
Okay,
down boy. Wes, what do you say?
WESLEY
It was a fun
routine. (CROWD cheers.) And I enjoyed seeing Rupert play--
er--
GILES
You?
WESLEY
--so true to
his own nature.
GILES
(Nodding and smiling.) Well
done.
LORNE
Okay, Oz, how about you?
OZ
He's
right about the "2" and the bounce. It's just not a Mambo
if you're breaking on the "1".
LORNE
(Motions
HARMONY and GILES backstage.) Some mixed reviews on the Mambo. How
will that afftect their score? And there're two couples still to come
when we return to DANCING WITH THE DEMONS
(Short, four-bar theme music plays to the break.)