A/N: OH MY GOODNESS It has been so long. I am so sorry and I completely understand if I have lost every reader. But here is the next installation of Bella's Notes, fair readers.
The Scene: Tuesday Morning, Gymnasium at Forks High.
Bella/Edward/Alice/Emmett/Jasper/Rose
Gooood morning Vietnaaaam! I lovelovelove you. And also, Alice. I love Alice.
Note to self: Do NOT give the human coffee.
Note to Edward: [bahahaha this is a note to Edward!] Coffee = delicious = happy Bella.
That is not even an equation.
Because this is not even math class. This is special sex class. We are going to learn about important sexy things, Edward. This is basically the most important school day of our lives. We are learning about reproduction. Actually, wait. Why did we even come to school today? We cannot reproduce and you can't have STDs so what is even the point of today.
What is the point of anything, Bella?
God I hate it when you read Camus.
There is no god, Bella. Only our experiences.
Shut up, Edward.
Yeah, shut up, Edweird. Everyone hates Camus.
Everyone hates Cam-you!
I am so proud to know you two.
I have to agree with Jasper, in an entirely non-sarcastic way. Today is going to be so entertaining. And don't even bother trying to see what I am talking about, Edweird, because I am singing Jason Mraz inside of here and I know that you hate scatting.
You hate scatting? Edward. No one hates scatting.
No one hates Camus, either.
Debatable. Highly debatable.
Bella Bella Bella Bella Bella Bella Bella
Edward Edward Edward Edweird Edward
Bella! What are you thinking, right now?
I am thinking about Andrew Bird and how horrible this day is going to be. I do not know why I thought it would be so fun. It is just going to be embarrassing and uncomfortable!
Alice says it will be 'hilarious' and 'memorable'.
That is code for 'Bella falls down and lands in a wheelbarrow full of condoms'. Stop laughing.
I cannot possibly stop laughing when you have gifted me with that mental image, Bella.
Oh God it's starting.
Blah blah blah Bella does this look like I am taking notes? Of course it does. I have perfected the art of fake-note-taking. Nope nope nope you have to get your own sheet of paper or else it isn't believable. We will trade when they change out speakers. Deal?
Deal.
BELLA. YOUR OWN PAPER.
Fiiiine!
Bella.
-- - -NO.
A/N: And there we have it, finally, another chapter. And another [2!] chapters will come very soon, because our delightful main characters will be writing letters on separate sheets of paper during this exciting, educational seminar. If you want to be a hipster, go check out Ben Sollee!